Disability etiquette: Food restrictions
As someone with food allergies, and for someone who has family members with severe food allergies here is some etiquette in dealing with food allergies.
Although I will be saying food allergies a lot here, assume these same rules apply to all food restrictions such as sensory processing, religious exclusions, personal exclusions, food sensitivity, autoimmune responses, allergies, lactose intolerance, etc.
1. If someone asks for ingredients in certain food, drinks, or anything else they aren’t trying to be difficult they’re trying to gauge if they can eat something or not. Don’t try to ask “Are you allergic to? Are you celiac? Are you on a restricted diet?” A lot of the time that’s a sensitive topic, and if they’re brand new to meeting you they may not want to disclose that they have an allergy, or food restriction. If they ask for the ingredients please disclose it. And if you don’t know it, please ask your manager or check yourself. If you’re not willing to check then you’re more or less saying “I don’t care if you eat or not.” If you’re in the United States then good news the business you’re in is required to be able to offer a list of ingredients for items along with nutritional information on request. If your business doesn’t have it please make sure the manager or owner knows to get some ASAP, it’s good manners and a legal requirement.
2. If you invite someone over and if they don’t eat food offered, please don’t take it personally. Food allergies, restrictions, or even texture aversion can restrict what a person can eat it doesn’t mean that they’re trying to be rude. Feel free to ask if there’s anything you can get them. If they say yes you can accommodate but if you can’t for whatever reason just explain that you can’t. EG: if they ask for diet soda and you only have regular don’t try to serve the regular just explain you only have regular and they can say whether or not they can have it.
3. When inviting people to an intimate gathering (1-10) try to ask everyone what is something they like, or if there’s anything they can’t have. Some people even include a part of the RSVP to include restrictions and desired foods and they make the best of it. Larger events (10-100) may be more difficult, and in cases like this try to have options if possible. Water, coffee, tea, soda (diet and otherwise), fruit juice, are good options for drinks especially if people can get their own cups, or pre-packaged drinks. For food try to offer options like chips, nuts, bread, fruit, snack meats, cheeses, and make sure if they aren’t pre packed that every item has its own serving utensil (fork, spoon, tong) and that they are clearly separated to avoid cross contamination.
4. Use clean utensils, plates, cups when serving guests. Yes it seems obvious but you’ll be surprised. If you don’t have enough plates, cups, utensils try to get disposable. (I’m aware it isn’t the best for the environment but avoiding cross contamination is important) and as weird as it sounds verify that the plates and forks and cups aren’t derived from corn, soy, or other allergens. I actually had an allergic reaction once because the plate was made from corn and had trace amounts of the allergen in the paper.
5. Other common items that may have allergens you weren’t aware of. Birthday candles (especially the sparkler, or relighting kind use corn starch). Scented dish soaps, ice cube trays, (has anyone tried to make popsicles in it and forgot to clean it out?) the counter tops (especially if not clean), rags, (did you wipe wheat flour off with the rag before handling the potato flour), lipstick (if you kiss someone with an allergy to the metal, or possibly the corn starch in a lot of lipstick it will kill the mood), any make up on your face, even your shampoo or conditioner if it uses ingredients like oats, or sorghum. All of these are actual examples from my life. If it comes near someone’s lips, face, or hands be aware of it.
6. Prepackaged foods are a lot of people’s best friends for a reason. The ingredients, nutrition facts, are on the label and the packaging usually protects it from a lot (but not all) contamination. They’re almost always made the same way, and usually people know what their safe foods are.
7. Safe foods: Usually used in the autistic community but can absolutely also apply to people with allergies. These are the foods that are always safe, or even comforting to people. If I are close friends with someone and they’re often visiting or near you, you can keep some safe foods with you. My mother keeps lemonade packets at her house just for me, and I keep coffee at my house even though she doesn’t drink lemonade and I don’t drink coffee. Because they’re safe foods for each other.
8. TL;DR: answer peoples questions about ingredients and sources of food or anything near their mouths. If you get to know them better you can accommodate food restrictions better but let them explain it to you, don’t assume you know, and if you have a question, ask but don’t assume you know better than them. If you get to know them very well and become close friends start keeping some non perishable safe foods that you can share with them.
