#theautismspecial

[theautismspecial]

i'm saying this as like a half finished thought or like 75% finished

but tloas is kind of like. an invulnerable album

like the general reason i see ppl like taylor swift is the authenticity and relateability and the feeling she's pouring her heart out

but GENERALLY. not entirely. this album feels like just plain watching a celebrity/celebrities.

like it feels like she's looking at other celebrities and going "ugh you guys get it right" and high fiving and then she decided to take a picture of that and make that the album. but then called it the life of a showgirl

i feel if she just called it showgirl that would have made more sense😭the album just feels like. a polished interview. which is fine. but why would you call it the life of a showgirl then. why would you give it a theme of "this is me after performing. this is the backstage. the behind the scenes". like no that's the performance. this is the scene

like she doesn't need to give personal details, but one thing humans generally have in common is emotions, feeling left out, feeling targeted, feeling like you have to play pretend when you feel like shit

this album doesnt feel like that. it feels like telling someone your gonna take the glitter off, take the make up off, but then you send them a screenshot of your heavily curated instagram????????????? with the make up still very much on????? glitter filters on????????? promotional content and influencer attention grabbing intros all still in there. like. what

it's just showgirl. like she's always going to be a showgirl since she's a celebrity and of course a finished album is gonna be polished and curated. but somehow icdiwabh feels vulnerable even with the glitzy production. actually romantic and cancelled aren't really vulnerable. making fun of the haters and saying "oh THEY wanna cancel me but the ones who get it get it" isn't vulnerable. tloas (the song) actively pushes the listener away from the showgirls vulnerability by repeating the sentiment that you won't know the life of a showgirl, you won't ever know it. just know it sucks and that's all the showgirl tells you

this doesn't apply to the whole album, like ruin the friendship and i would say eldest daughter feel more like looking behind a performance

this is neutral so i'm not like. rating it or anything. i just think it would have made more sense being called showgirl. i know ppl have been saying the album feels petty and out of touch and mean and i can definitely see that. but ppl can definitely enjoy music that's out of touch and petty. just not when they're told it's supposed to be a more behind the curtains thing. yknow?

like performing pettiness? ppl love that. ppl love a drama. ppl loved blank space. ppl love a catty persona and watching a performance of being mean. but when you're giving the idea that that's you behind the curtain? 😬

especially for fans. taylor haters are unsurprised and are adding this to their 10 minute long discourse tiktoks immediately. fans are gonna feel like they were lied to

and this is a neutral observation of art and communication and cause and effect. i know i have my taylor swift pfp and everything but like i say in my bio, i'm here for music and art and i don't know much about her personally. i fr just like contemplating her art okay😭i don't care enough to hate her viscerally. i don't know that lady☝️

tldr: it makes more sense to title the album "showgirl"

[theautismspecial]

okay and what if had the eras doc playing in the background and i dropped everything to see whyley dance. what about it. i also did not get teary either bc i don't get teary when i see dancers do literally anything that's not something i do it's just raining inside my house is all don't worry about it

[theautismspecial]

yaya is one of the most important songs in the world. btw. just so we all know

[theautismspecial]

me yesterday: you know im kind of happy the cowboy carter tour is over. it was really good, it did exactly what it needed to, it had a satisfying ending, it was a complete experience. this is a perfect ending and im glad i got to watch a live stream for every show :D

me rn: 😪she wouldve been around the texas hold em act rn🤧i miss it so bad😪

[theautismspecial]

i started listing songs that felt more like a life of a showgirl or a peek behind the curtain rather than another performance and now i need to finish it:

icdiwabh

i know places

dear reader

anti-hero

yoyok

most if not all of midnights actually

the archer

lucky one

peace !!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

the manuscript. maybe

CLARA BOW

i hate it here

HOW DID IT END

but daddy i love him

florida!!!

i can fix him

waolom

for some reason guilty as sin makes sense in my brain

castles crumbling

the lakes

long live maybe. sort of. in a way

mad woman could fit for sure

mirrorball

my tears ricochet

slut!

delicate

[theautismspecial]

for whatever reason i just don't really like buying merch most of the time and i Really hate doing online purchases BUT i do like looking at merch so i love these countdowns

like my artists museum has a new exhibit....ooh very cool let's look at the plaque.....woowwwwwwww.......okay that's enough bye

i do think one day i'll get into either cds or vinyls but i'm not there yet so i'm always just going "ooh this is so cute and i'd play it all the time, like this is actually perfect. i should get this............*puts it back down and walks away*"

if i can find another one of these bad boys that i had as a kid:

or an equally cool cd player, then MAYBE. i would consider an extra fancy cd. but i'd probably just get a standard one bc there's really nothing else you could want in life when you have a piano shaped cd player radio alarm clock.

AND THE KEYS WOULD PLAY A LITTLE SONG IF YOU PRESSED THEM TOO. or maybe they worked as play/pause buttons. or both. idk i was a child, i barely knew how to make the cd spin

[theautismspecial]

i will say i have a pet peeve with the idea that people don't like music bc they don't relate. like, ask an asexual how many sex songs they have on their favorite playlist

i don't want to be like "an artists job is to ____" bc i think an artists job is just to make art but i will say that theres such thing as making art in a way to share the experience with ppl who have not had that experience.

like a lot of the times when ppl make art it's to share a feeling with the audience. not explain it to the audience. they want to pull that feeling out of the audience.

that's what a lot of artistic devices do. like certain chords are used bc they make the listerner feel a way, instead of directly telling the listener "i felt sad." or like similes and metaphors are like that too. i'm not telling you he was super strong. i'm saying he was strong like an ox. now you are feeling a reaction similar to what i did when i saw that strong man.

the work is often on the artist to make people relate. to pull that reaction from them. that's not the job of the person experiencing the art.

so the goal with a lot of art is to make the audience relate. if the only ppl who like it are the ones who understand that experience, that job wasn't done. the audience is not supposed to be doing that work. if ppl feel connected to the music only bc they relate, that's more about them than the art. it doesn't take compelling art to make me happy about something i was already happy about.

same way it doesn't take much to compel me to buy a cookie if i already know i like cookies. i don't need fancy advertising when i already know how a good a cookie is.

i hate reducing any art to a flat good or bad, bc it kind of shuts off critical thinking, so to like get into the details, i didn't find the album compelling. and i relate to some of the experiences in it. 🧍it kind of felt like feelings were being explained/told to me but not pulled out of me, you know?

like, with IDSB, i don't necessarily relate to what she was talking about, but it still pulls a cheeky "oohhh i did something bad >:)" feeling out of me.

"november flush and your flannel cure" pulls an image and an idea to mind. i don't have to imagine what it's like, taylor put it there herself through the lyrics

but i wasn't really feeling pulled any sort of way with a lot of tloas? like w the song tloas, i kinda wish it went more into the actual life of a showgirl more than "it's not as fun as it looks". that could be said about a lot of things. or like if it was more about just telling that story, (which is fine, story telling is like taylor's whole thing lol it doesn't need to all be conceptual art), then i feel like it'd make more sense to call the song showgirl/the showgirl at least. bc the life aspect wasnt really dug into.

like the ratio of banger lines to neutral/okay lines to bad lines was really off. not many "woah!(good lines)" moments, and then too many ":/ (bad lines) moments overshadowing the good ones, and then too many neutral ones to where they end up overshadowing the good ones and simultaneously emphasizing the bad ones.

NO ONE TELL ME I SHOULDNT HAVE LISTENED TO THE ALBUM IF I DIDNT LIKE THE ALBUM😭IM CALLED THEAUTISMSPECIAL BC MY SPECIAL INTEREST IS CRITIQUING HER LYRICS AND ROTATING HER MUSIC IN MY MIND✋✋I NEVER SAID I HAD TO LIKE IT OKAY. I AM STILL HAVING FUN

listen i may not be good at social cues but i can see a potential bad faith misinterpretation from a mile away SOMETIMES. IF i have my glasses on. SO THERE

[theautismspecial]

okay hear me out. in the icdiwabh section of the eras tour kam does the countdown. taylor said there's only 12 tracks, no extra tracks. midnights had a 3 am surprise and ttpd has a 2 am one.

an hour after tloas is released. kam will drop tloas (kam's version) (sad kam autumn version) (recorded at long pond studios) and THEN he will announce that he is releasing kamputation kam's version on decembovember the 13st at 13 am😆😌

mark ur kamenders😎