Day #12: All-American Boy, Steve Grand (2013)
Remember when I talked about how I was so starved for queer content in TV and media? That was also true in terms of music as well. As much as I lost myself in songs and tuned out both the noises from the outside world and from my own head, there were moments when it pained me to realize that the songs I was listening to were about straight people singing about their straight relationships. I was not aware of subtext then, and my tastes have not yet expanded, so I found myself forcing to think that they were also singing about people like myself.
Thankfully, there was one website I turned to for all things gay: AfterElton.com. This was where I found out about gay representation in soap operas (which led me to Hollyoaks, Emmerdale, EastEnders, among others), rumors about closeted celebrities (I know, I know. We are all a product of our own times), movie recommendations, and occasionally, queer-themed media. They even had an advice column named Dear Pigeon Guts (lol) which helped gay men navigate gayness.
It was on AfterElton that I knew about Steve Grand and this early 2010s queer anthem. I remember looking over my shoulder at the café where I was because I was so scared of other people finding out that I’m watching something gay. Musically, it’s beautiful. Lyrically, I finally felt seen. Although I’m not much of a fan of country music, although I am neither white nor American, I knew what Steve was singing about. That longing – that thing I keep talking about, over and over. I recognize that pain. I know how tantalizing it is. Even now, with a string of hookups and a failed relationship in my belt. I now know that we could find ourselves in rewarding romantic relationships, but longing is an important part of our language.
Steve released his album, also named All-American Boy, shortly after. It’s a great listen. There’s finally a song in there that’s about an existing queer relationship, in all sorts of emotional stages (Stay, Lovin’ Again, Dancing Next To Me, Soaking Wet). He released another album in 2016 (Not The Same), but All-American Boy to me is musically better and also I am biased since it has a special place in my heart.
Eventually, AfterElton were rebranded as The Backlot, and then absorbed by VH1 I think, and then became inactive. I don’t think the URL works anymore. At that point in my life, queer representation is not anymore few and far between – although we always need more, to be seen and understood by more people – and I’ve also discovered Queerty and Out.com, not to mention the opportunity to directly interact with queer creators and other queer people from all over the world. Still, I’m thankful for AfterElton and all the websites like it, and to Steve Grand and all the queer artists who tried to make it way before everyone else did. They softened the ground for the rest of queer people in the media.
And you can have my heart and my soul and my body
Watch here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjiyjYCwNyY