#thebookofdays

[luccas-mathias-real]

As páginas da vida são escritas por nós mesmos; a arte as mostra de modo subjetivo e intimista. #twomodelsexperience #twomodelsbrasil #castingtwomodelsbrasil #livrodosdias #thebookofdays #modelonegro #negro #noir (em Gardênia Azul, Rio De Janeiro, Brazil) https://www.instagram.com/p/CAx2Ut_FHLV/?igshid=6pi0jx3gdsub

[neverbythebook]

8 Dec 2016. Day 8 #AmpersandDec16: Imagine. I don't see much love for #TheBookOfDays on here, which is a shame because it's a really lovely debut #LoveOzYA novel, full of imagination. I met the author at #BrisbaneWritersFestival in 2014—she was so sweet and I hope to see more from her in the future. What's one of your favourite debut novels? TAG: #beautifulcover by @happyindulgence 💕✨

[k-a-barker]

The Book of Days is out in bookstores today.

It's official.  I am a published author. 

[k-a-barker]

So The Book of Days has some early reviews.  They're perfectly lovely reviews with not a flaming comment or snide turn of phrase to be found.  Which is why I've been trying to figure out why, on seeing them, I burst into tears and promptly felt like crap for the next two days.

This is totally embarrassing to admit.  I mean, I think all writers like to brush off reviews, like, "Oh, I never read them," or, "They're for the readers, why should they bother me?".  And it's true - they are for the readers, and I would never want to put them down because frankly book reviewers are some of the smartest, most well-read individuals I've had the pleasure of interacting with.

So this is definitely not an attack on reviewers, rather an introspective look at why I allowed myself to get so emotionally wrecked by them.  And I think I've come up with an answer.  As a new author, I have absolutely no idea how my book is going to be received.  It might sink like a anchor attached to a millstone, or it might (and this is mainly in my most egocentric wildest dreams) be the next Hunger Games or Harry Potter.  There's no way of knowing.  And apart from the whole 'I know you're judging a piece of fiction and not me but ow it really feels like you are' aspect of reviewing, I think this is the thing that's freaking me out the most.

Because the truth is, I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't write.  If this book bombs and my publisher drops me like a particularly smelly stack of hot potatoes, then I'm back to living my boring 9-5 job with no hope of leaving it. And that terrifies me.  Consequently each less-than-raving review I get is turned - in my mind - into more proof that The Book of Days isn't going to get readers, and I'm not going to be able to finish telling the story that constantly occupies my thoughts.

Self-doubt really is the suckiest of feelings.