☘ Genre: fluff, very very soft, coming of age, kinda angsty
☘ Word Count: 2k
☘ Rating: Teen bc there are some existential crises (mild) and some curse words
☘ Warnings: mild existential crisis, conversations about running away, Yoongi is a pessimistic baby but he deserves all the love!
☘ Summary: The thing with growing up, at least for Yoongi, is realising that he needs to be living his own life and no one else’s, a few words could last a lifetime if the person that says them sticks by your side. A story of how Min Yoongi finds himself overcoming obstacle after obstacle as he realises he needs to trust himself the way he trusts you with his own life.
☘ A/N: a gift created through @bangtansecretsanta for the lovely @milkygcf! I’m your secret Santa sugarplum! It’s been so long since I’ve written pure fluff and this was- really challenging but it was a deserved breather amidst everything going on, I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it!
Yoongi can so vividly remember the words you first spoke to him, the four words eternally engraved inside his rather hectic mind, the phrase that he finds himself circling back to as years went by and life took its not so pretty turns.
“Can you trust me?”
He was eight and you were six, the exact reason as to why he was letting a two years his junior convince him of jumping off of some small cliff and back to safety it had always remained unbeknownst to him, yet the words you had spoken seemed to hold nothing but the truth, everything in his mind telling him just how wrong it all was about to turn, his heart telling him to trust you with his eyes closed.
Yoongi had always been a realistic and rather pessimistic kid if what his mother and teachers said about him was anything to go by. So realistically, he knew better than to trust some stranger six-year-old try to tell him to jump off of a cliff, the kid with sparkly eyes looking at him with wonder and amusement in them, as if they held the entirety of the universe in them. Realistically, he knew it was bound to end badly if he were to listen to those words. he trusted you with his whole being despite his better judgement. Giggles coming out of your mouth as you took his hand when he closed his eyes and you two leapt off.
It did end very badly, scrapped knees and twisted wrists, but the smile never disappeared from your face and he found some comfort in it as you reassured him that everything had been okay.
He was eighteen years old when he heard those words again, straight out of your mouth, chest swelling with a warmth that he couldn’t quite place, exactly ten years after the first time and had him wondering if maybe you were some sort of guardian angel sent to protect him during trying times. It wasn’t like you two had completely disappeared from each other’s lives, Daegu wasn’t that big of a town to do so, it just so happened that you lead a much different life to his.
Summer camps were a common ground from time to time, even though you would be assisting them while he worked along with his brother, never had you ever turned a blind eye to him the way others did, always cheerful to say hi to him while growing up, until you had stopped going and he had thought the worst, quiet as he was, and adamant to admit it, getting to see you, even from afar during those hot summer days had quickly turned into something he looked forward year after year. His brother always teasing him for it whenever he so much as dared– as nonchalant as he could muster– if you were attending that time around. You could imagine his surprise when he was fifteen and you never arrived on the bus, his heart plumeting to the floor for a brief second before he heard a very much familiar voice calling his name, finding you standing right before him, staff shirt on you and promising the bestest summer along with threatening to take the staff of the summer award that time around. And you did. You had asked him to exchange numbers when it was all over, his mind shortcircuiting at the thought of a thirteen-year-old owning a cellphone, although coming back to it, it was probably normal for your position to do so, he had just managed to save up enough money to buy himself a used one during a trip to Seoul, you could imagine his surprise as you sent some weird symbols his way as soon as you finished typing his number on yours.
So really, as years went by and life started changing, it wasn’t like you two became estranged, if anything you two grew closer with the constant messaging, even if any plan to meet up had royally failed each and every time you tried to do so. Whether it was his weird shifts at his shitty part-time jobs or an impromptu flight you had to take to meet family around the world, even after all those years he couldn’t yet fathom the way that you two seemed to just click with one another, coming from such different worlds.
Yoongi had remained rather pessimistic the same way your eyes still held all those beautiful sentiments inside them, no secret behind his tired feline eyes and grumpy pout as he had time and time again been deprived of doing what he really wanted to do, his passion for music quickly evaporating as he found out just how high the cost was to keep it up. Late nights delivering some fairly questionable pizza around the barely lit streets, grades plummeting, constant fights whenever he managed to crash at his parents’ house, the cautious look his older brother sent his way as if disapproving if the way that he was intending to live his life.
“Can you trust me?” your words were merely above a whisper, laced with that honey-like affection he had grown so familiar to associate with you, the tenderness inside him growing by the second. You took a seat beside him, legs hanging from the rooftop you were both sitting on top of, stars shining above your heads as he took a deep breath before turning to look at you, that characteristically shine in your eyes dulled in a way that made him ache to wrap you up and make sure nothing bad could ever happen to you. “Let’s move to Seoul Yoongi, just you and me, a brand new start to live life the way that we want”
He has to blink a few times as your words register inside his mind “Y/N, as lovely as that sounds, you and I both know it is not as easy as that”
“But it is!” he tries to convince himself that the way that your eyes glaze over is a figment of his imagination and not them welling up with tears as you scramble to find something inside your designer bag– which was most certainly getting dirtier by the second from being left on top of some questionable liquid. You’re quick to sniff as you hand him bunched up bills, he doesn’t need to count them to know at first glance they’re a couple of thousand wons that could cover at least one month’s expenses in Seoul “I have more from where that came from, Yoongi, you could finally live for music the way that you love and I- I could finally be free”
“Y/N, honey, this is your parents’ money” his voice is soft, heart positively breaking as he becomes the reason behind your eyes losing their hopefulness in them “And you’re sixteen, if someone dares to look for you, I would be arrested for kidnapping a minor”
If his shirt wets thanks to your tears falling down as you rest your head against his shoulder, none of you talk about it. His hand comes up to stroke your head as your breath calms down “One day, Y/N, when we’re both adults, if you still want to run away to Seoul with me, I promise we will”
He can’t help the guilt that consumes him the few years after that, still struggling, still keeping up his shattered love for music the way that you had so nicely painted it back then, live his own life. Words were scarce after that night between the two of you, Text messages set more and more apart as days and weeks went by, up to a point where the conversation had died with a ‘haha sounds fun’ only for it to get piled up with other people coming into his kife, the same way he guesses happened with you. So sue him if even after all those years he still blames himself for opening up his mouth and shattering your well-intended dreams. Breaking your heart into a million pieces even after you could have run away on your own, choosing to instead offer him a change of heart, a newly found opportunity with you. He owed you that much back.
At 23 years old, Min Yoongi thinks him turning your runaway idea had probably been the best move and congratulates himself for making such a mature decision at such a young age, he might even think he deserves a pat on the back on those chilly days in Seoul as he continues to work his ass off, living on cheap off-brand ramen packages get gets in the middle of the night at the convenience store across the street, buried in towels and blankets as his heater decides to turn off on a particularly cold night where the thermostat signals two negative numbers. He can’t muster enough courage to even begin to imagine putting you through such a thing had he taken you up on the offer back then. It proves to be even harder than he had anticipated, the whole living his own life thing, yet he finds himself pushing through rough times as he pictures you waiting for him, as he fantasises about being the reason that might bring back the light in your eyes, ever so curious, ever so hopeful. Perhaps this time around, he can be your saving grace the way you’ve done for him so many times before.
It’s the day you’re turning 24, if he remembers correctly when he faces the greatest challenge he has presented himself with ever since he started living his own personal story the way you had wanted him to, hopefully in a way that your own life story still incorporates his the way you had done countless times before. His fist knocks uncertainly on the wooden door twice before you open the door, smile in your face faltering, eyes glazing over yet full of that warming feeling as you locked eyes with him “Yoongi what are you-”
“Can you trust me?” he can’t believe it is him saying the words now, only taking him 18 years to do so, in a rushed attempt as he dives into his passion for life the way you had done for him when you were kids, uncertain of the outcome, brain blaring alarms, heart filled with hope and determination, wishing for the best possible outcome.
He can note the way that your eyes start to shine brighter the way that he intended to– the way that he had hoped for. Can faintly hear your dad asking you who’s at the door, in a spurt of bravery, he finds himself crossing the threshold as he watches you smile at him adoringly, the action filling him up with determination as he extends his hand towards the man and he can clearly see you shed a few tears rolling down your cheeks. He has finally done it. He has trusted you with his life and this is the life he’s been meaning to live “Min Yoongi, CEO of Lab Music Enterprises, it’s nice to finally meet you, sir”
Beautiful stars for #thebts Bulletin Board Art Invitational! Watch today's show on creativelivingtv.ca to find out who made these and how you can share stars too!
