“Wake Up & Work” with Llama News
Ted Ryder and Vivienne Van Escroc bring you the latest from Capitol Hill and the recent Goth-Landgraab Simileaks scandal.
“This is the story that just won’t go away, Ted. Yet another scandal besets the Goth Administration!”
“Gee, Viv, I’m not so sure. This leak has been so well timed to really damage Cronin’s political opponents. But don’t take my word for it - let’s go over to Capitol Hill where Simertarian Party leader Chuck Logan is eager to give his two cents on the whole business.”
“Thanks Teddy boy, it’s great to be back again on your wonderful morning program. It seems to me that whatever happened during President Goth’s time in the White House should stay in the past and - let’s be real - the Landgraabs are a business savvy family, why on earth wouldn’t they accept assistance in what was a legitimate federal easement scheme?”
“Well, Congressman Logan, it’s fairly dishonest and not the best use of tax payers’ simoleons…”
“Viv, honey, you’re too nice a gal to understand the cut-throat world of Simerican business.”
“Let’s go now to Congressman Elliott Fleig, leader of the Sim Worker’s Party, also at Capitol Hill, for his take. Congressman, you’ve been vocal on your stance so far; what would you say in reply to Congressman Logan?”
“Thanks Vivienne. I think Congressman Logan’s words strike right to the heart of the problem with Simerican politics today… undemocratic bureaucrats giving backhands to their friends and all hidden from the tax payers - it’s criminal. Fighting this sort of corruption is why I got into politics and governmental transparency is a key policy of the SWP.”
"Wow, Mr. Fleig. ‘Criminal’ — that’s quite an accusation! Do you have anything to say in response Congressman Logan… Eh, Congressman Logan…sir?”
“Listen here you jumped up Commie tree hugger; I’ve been a member of this Congress for over 20 years and I have served the people of our great republic with integrity—”
"Please, Logan, you’ve served yourself and your friends, and no one else. It’s clear now that the Landgraabs’ mine had been failing for some time. We both know this “federal easement scheme” was just a Simertarian ploy to stop the mine’s closure in an election year. The Landgraabs aren’t victims here and by running their mine into the ground they’ve condemned their employees to unemployment and poverty while they—”
“Don’t you tell me what I know, Fleig. The Landgraabs have been a pillar of Simerican business longer than you’ve been growing that pretty beard of yours—”
"My oh my, that heated up faster than a Schmapple toaster oven. We’re so passionate about politics here on Llama News. And the truth. We’ll be back with more essential politics from the Hill after a word from our sponsors.”
