I honestly didn't think defining as aro-ace wouldn't be as hard as for example defining as homosexual.. Cause of society I mean.. But I had lots of people looking at me weirdly or pityful and saying stuff like "You're gonna be fixed" or "Nah, you'll find someone" or "How can you not want to love someone?" and it's just so annoying! It makes me want to be something-romantic or -sexual. Though I was always so fine, so happy with it! How do I deal with that kinda stuff..?! :/
hmm, well idk about aro ace experiences being harder or worse than other mogai experiences. idk how to phrase it (if any of our followers could help me out with this that would be great) but i feel like saying that sort of trivialises the oppression that gay people face, as they face very public and often physical (which is not to say that aro ace people can not also experience violence) discrimination and oppression and saying that being aro ace is harder feels off to me ??? we both experience oppression in different ways idk, if any of our followers can pitch in i would really appreciate it.
but yeah, that sort of mindset can be really harmful. what helped me was keeping myself surrounded by aro ace positivity and stuff of that nature. i went through a period in which i had sort of stepped away from tumblr and aro ace safe spaces, i started to get into a really gross mindset in which i started really getting down on myself for being aro. however, as soon as i went back i immediately felt better.
read about aro ace characters, write about them, talk to other aro ace people, whatever makes you feel secure about your identity. if you want to, you could also confront whoevers saying this arophobia/acephobic stuff and see if you could can show them why what they're saying is harmful. alternatively, you could think of some wicked cool comebacks. you don't have to confront anyone if you don't want to though, especially if it makes you feel unsafe. if the other mods have any other suggestions on how to deal with stuff feel free to add more !!
and remember that its okay if every once and awhile you feel insecure, thats something that a lot of people experience and it doesn't mean that you're any weaker for it. remember that being aro ace is really cool and that you can send us an ask any time if you're feeling down. i wish you the best of luck and hope that things start looking up for you soon !!
- mod kelsey
