“ i will never leave Abel. it will be this , always, for as long as you will let me. “ ( for Abel, obviously )
the song of achilles meme( ACCEPTING ) - @thedraisms
Abel watches her and there is something that he cannot quite name over his lips, over his tongue: something that even if he knew how to translate into words he would not. It was a mix of uneasiness and discomfort, hesitance; as veiny hands move to the side of the armour that had been torn to shreds long before he and the elven woman had met. Theneras, though Abel knew now that she had many other names that he could never hope to really be able to pronounce without butchering it beyond recognition, had helped him more than anyone else had shown themselves willing. In the state that he was in, this... middle of everything and nothing at all, he didn’t understand why someone like her continued to come back to speak to him or why she had allowed him to be close. Abel wondered many things; the first being how did she know quite so much and how she could do all the things that she did. It confused it and made him fear her in a way that he had never felt towards any other mage.
It was odd, odd to know that he should feel a very human fear and yet feel only peace and calm emanating from her. How terrifying must it be to have so much power at her fingertips, to think of the consequences of what to use it would cause. And to think that she would waste his time with him. Dead. Dead. Dead but not quite, not in the way that he had learned. He wasn’t sure what the road beyond death took, but he was now starting to realise that it would not lead to the Maker’s side and that frightened him ever more. And so he wished, he wished that she stayed because in all of this she alone seemed to have the answers that no one else seemed capable or willing to answer.
Still, Abel was not selfish. He tried not to be. Nor was he foolish. He had done many bad things in his life and he would not deny him, he would not deny what tradition had demanded of him; the pain that he had caused to her people and that perhaps (surely) she didn’t know. No one could be quite so forgiving, regardless of warmth. If felt wrong and the guilt ate up on him, to know what he had done, never attempted once to remedy despite of power at his fingertips. To have so much power and refuse to use it; to think of the consequences that such inaction had. Icy blue eyes move down to his own hands and he feels himself retracting from the conversation. Perhaps it was only fair, perhaps only right.
“I would not blame you if you left.” he speaks with a firmness that he doesn’t feel. Guilt seems to make his mouth dry, throat struggling and eyes heavy away from her rich skin and warm brown eyes. His fists close and open. Closing once again. To have her speak such words and to have them sound so genuine should perhaps make someone worthy of them feel comfort, happy. In his ears they sounded like a pouring of guilt, his shoulders slumping forward as it falls over bruised skin “It is... actually... what would be fair of you to do.” Abel glances up seeking her face for a second, holding it until he could, until he felt he could “I can find a way to finish what I started alone.”