There are times that my thoughts of you are so loud
I cannot hear
I cannot see what is in front of me, except your absence
With compounded irony, your astounding silence
While loud, loud memories
Painstaking, lucid dreams invade me
Oh, of all the things that you said to me,
awoke in me
Nothing could prepare me for this, my friend
Your silence, keeping me up at night
You are so loud, still
And I feel where you once were, my friend
The black hole in my universe, uncanny gravitational pull
And I am collapsing, my friend
Under the weight of it all
Drowning in the loss of you
And everything you left behind
Right where you found it
Promise and hope and cognitive distortion, confusion
Here, with me, in my space
Leaving me open, and defenseless
Because I cannot see what is in front of me
Still blinded by your absence
And I cannot hear what is around me
Except your loud, reverberating silence
Oh, the irony, my friend.