Harry knew you were the one, he knew the moment he saw you standing there in one of his t shirts and a pair of shorts in his kitchen making a cup of tea that he was going to marry you. When he told the lads they poked fun at him for calling you his “soulmate” when he had only known you a few short months. He couldn’t fight the feeling he got in the pit of his tummy when you’d turn and smile at him, he couldn’t help the heat that would rise to his cheeks when you’d catch him staring at you and he just couldn’t shake the feeling of pure happiness he felt when you’d turn and snuggle closer to him in your sleep.
He knew he had to tell you how he was feeling, his problem was he didn’t exactly know how to go about telling you just how deeply in love with you he was. He didn’t know if it was something he should make a romantic dinner for or if he could simply state it over a cup of coffee in the morning before the two of you went your separate ways to work. He knew that if he didn’t tell you soon he was sure just going to let it slip out at the total wrong moment.
When he walked into the bedroom and saw you sitting at the end of the bed slipping off your heels he thought that now would be as good a time as any. You had just gotten home from a dinner with your friends, something that always led to you getting home later than normal and a bit more cuddly. He smiled as he leaned against the doorway and watched you fall back onto the bed as you let out a soft sigh.
“Ya wanna know somethin H?” Your voice was a bit muffled as you flopped over onto your tummy and turned your head to look at him. You propped your head up on your hands as your elbows dug into the soft comforter that was on the bed. Harry just raised an eyebrow at you causing you to giggle.
“What’s on your mind love?” His voice was soft and sweet as always, it was like music to your ears making you just grin at him. You couldn’t have looked more perfect to Harry than you did in that very moment. Your hair was falling around your face as your eyes had a shine to them as they looked into his, your smile was causing your dimple to show and you just looked so blissful as you laid on the bed the two of you shared.
“You’re it for me ya know?” Harry felt his heart start to beat faster as you just shrugged a little as you continued to just stare at him. “Like I’m probably gonna marry you.” And just like that Harry felt like the weight of the world was lifted off his chest, he couldn’t fight the grin that took over his face as he walked towards his slightly tipsy girlfriend.
“Ya gonna marry me?” He asked and you just nodded your head as you flopped back over onto your back causing Harry to just laugh as he sat down next to you. “Wouldn’t mind that.” He added in a whisper as you scooted closer to him so you could rest your head in his lap.
“Love you.” Harry just smiled as he began to run his fingers through your hair, soon your eyes were fluttering closed as Harry leaned down and placed a sweet kiss to your forehead.
“You’re my soulmate petal, love you more than I’m ever gonna love anyone.” He knew you heard him by the way your mouth formed a small smile. “You’re it for me.” He leaned down and kissed the corner of your mouth before he slowly moved your head from his lap.
He slowly moved you up so your head was now on your pillow, he tucked you into bed and placed a quick kiss to the top of your head before turning the lamp off that was on your nightstand. When he finally made his way into the bed he couldn’t help but take this time to truly look at you. His bedside lamp was the only light in the room and your sleeping body just looked perfect in his eyes, he was quite pleased with the fact the two of you were on the same page when it came to your future. He was more relaxed knowing you felt the same, you truly were his soulmate and he was yours and together the two of you could handle whatever life was going to throw at you.
She was sitting on the couch, right next to me, her legs crossed and a sushi take away tray resting on her thighs. She kept trying to eat it with the chopsticks, sinking the bottom of the sushi piece in the soy sauce before putting it into her mouth. She missed a couple of them, but she had more experience using the chopsticks than I would ever have. Her laugh lightened the whole room. She was telling me things about her crazy day, about how there was a school visit in her museum and kids went nuts running down the hallways because they were bored with their teacher’s explanations. She also told me how she handled the situation by offering the teacher to do the guided tour herself instead of having him deal with that and explained the children interesting facts about the art collections that were hanging on the walls. She’d always loved kids and she knew that the right person could bring up the interest in art in them, since in her opinion it was something that had always been underrated. She looked beautiful, wearing comfy clothes, with her hair tied up in a messy bun and those big black glasses that gave her that sexy touch. I picked the sushi tray up from her lap and placed it on the table before asking her to turn around. My hand massaged the soft exposed skin that her oversized sweatshirt, which had fallen down her shoulder, allowed me to see. Soon, both of my hands were working on her shoulders and the back of her neck, trying to ease the tension of a really long day. She let out a moan and I could feel it in my cock. Fuck. She was so beautiful and sexy, and she didn’t even know. I brushed away a few locks of hair that escaped from her bun at the back of her neck and then I gave her a kiss there. She moaned again. I left a trail of kisses from the back of her neck to the side of it, going up to her jaw and behind her ear. Unconsciously she leaned towards me as I kept kissing her and I nibbled in her ear, which sent a shiver down her spine. Lust, desire, need… love. That’s what I saw in her gaze when she turned around to face me. Her lips were on mine before I could even think about kissing her and her hands got tangled in my hair. She used to like my long hair, but she seemed to have learned to love my short hair. She tugged softly the ends of it, making me roll my head back, giving her a better access to my mouth as she straddled me.
She was everything I could see, everything I could feel.
She was everywhere; she was everything.
Tongues, teeth, hands, skin, clothes that were starting to become useless, everything melting together and mixing with the sweet taste of her lips and the even sweeter smell of her perfume.
Darkness. That’s the first thing I see when I open my eyes, the only thing I’ve been seeing since she left. Darkness took upon me the day she walked out that door and it hadn’t left me ever since. I shut my eyes close, trying desperately to fall asleep again, or even better, to wake up from this living nightmare. Sweat’s covering my forehead and my clothes are stuck to my body. I kick the blanket that’s tangled around my feet and sit down on the edge of my bed. I check the clock that’s resting on top of my bedside table, 4:05 AM. I sigh. Guess I won’t be getting any more sleep today.
The images of that dream and the memories haunt me, even if I try to wash them away under the stream of hot water. I lean forward, placing my forearm on the wall before me and I rest my forehead on it, closing my eyes and letting the water run down my body. There aren’t any more tears left to cry, there isn’t any more love left to give. Still, I feel like there’s a hole in my chest, and it still aches and my eyes keep on wanting to tear up every single time I think of her. I can’t help but remember all the time I spent with her, all the years, all the good times we’d had together, all the laughs we shared, the kisses, the hugs, the tears… either from happiness or sadness. All the sex. God, she was something out of the real world, she drove me crazy with just the touch of her fingertips. I can’t help but smile as I remember how cheeky she always was. She was such a tease. But I loved even that about her. I loved her with all of my heart, with all her strong points and all her flaws. I loved every fucking inch of her body and above all, the way she was. She was beautiful, inside and outside. Or so I thought. Frustrated while trying to relax under the shower, I realise I regret a lot of things that happened between us. The thing I regret the most about everything is being so open to her, being myself in a way no one else but my family has seen. She was the one, the one with whom I’d really been honest, the only one who I’d really let in, the one who got to know the real me, the most vulnerable part of me and solve the mystery. The only one who knew me for what I am, with all my strong points, but also all of my weaknesses… And the one who took all of that with her to end up throwing it in the trash.
I can’t help but wonder what our life would have been like if things hadn’t gone as they went. I wonder if, in a near future, we would’ve had the wedding of our dreams after that marriage proposal I planned for her in which she couldn’t stop the happy tears from running down her cheeks. I wonder if in a few years, or maybe a lot, we would’ve had a real family life. I can see it clear as water, the kind of life we could have had. She’d always loved kids, so I have no doubt that one day she’ll be such an amazing mum. I just wish that someone who she’s gonna have her children with would’ve been me. I wonder if I would’ve been happy, surrounded by two, maybe even three children, having barbeques in the backyard of our house, feeling overwhelmed with joy from seeing them again after a long time on the road. That’s a kind of life I would’ve died for to have with her, instead of the pity life I’m living right now, waking up in a different hotel room every day, with nothing or no one to look forward to see back home. Getting drunk each time I can to deal with the pain, to deal with the fact that I’m not able to forget how it felt her touch on my skin. That’s what she did to me. I snort, seeing the irony in all of this. I’m really fucked up; I need to get my shit together.
But then another what if… hits my mind. What if she hadn’t left? Would she have come with me on some of these tour dates? Would she have waited for me at our place and surprised me with a romantic dinner? Or… Fuck the dinner. I would’ve got home and I’d have buried myself inside her. I would’ve made love to her in a way we wouldn’t have been able to in months, making her feel loved, venerated and special. Giving her so much pleasure and love that her eyes start to tear up from emotion and delight, and her love screams can be heard from the moon.
Maybe things wouldn’t have been so perfect. Maybe we would’ve probably had our moments, screaming, crying, throwing stuff around and arguing. Maybe we would’ve even had a time of depression, where nothing seemed to work out and the only logical solution would’ve been to break up. But we would have overcome it, we would have fought for our love and apologised in silent screams when it was already too late to fix it.
I wonder what she’s doing now, if she’s thinking of me, if she’s getting any sleep. She must miss me. It’s been too many years to erase me that easily from her life. She’s always been very stubborn, so I bet she will probably miss me, but she won’t let herself admit that, she won’t want to go back there. I bet she still loves me, I left a deep mark on her, that’s for sure, but I also bet, and I probably won’t be wrong on this one, that she she’s still thinking that it was all my fault for being away for so long, for not paying attention to her and having too much work and a way too busy social life. And yet, she still blames me for having so little room for her. How can I be mad at her for this? At the end of the day, every single word she said was true. She deserved better, and I knew it. It’s not that I didn’t pay attention to her, but I got carried away with all the work I had to do and I know I could’ve done better. I wonder if she still feels like her heart is being teared apart, just like I did, if she feels the ghost of my fingertips on her skin and the pain of not having me anymore. I wonder if she misses staring into my green eyes, if she misses my cuddles at night. I even let her be the little spoon. I wonder if she cries herself to sleep, finally acknowledging that to kill a relationship, it takes two.
I get out of the shower and back to the main room of the suite in which I’m staying today. There’s an empty tequila bottle laying on the floor, and some clothes scattered around the room. This has to stop. I’m a mess, and I can’t afford that any longer. This is what she did to me; I’ve been a zombie for the last two months. I need to fix this, to fix me. As I’m making my way to the wardrobe to pick some clothes for today, another memory hits me; the first memory I have about her.
I didn’t know what was it that made me decide to visit that museum. Maybe it was the cold winter weather and the fact that I, unconsciously, was looking for a warm place to hide for a while. Maybe it was the big poster that claimed “New exhibition: The myth of Saturn.”, and the mystery that surrounded that old Roman God. Or maybe I was just looking for something to do since I didn’t seem to be able to move on from all the chaos and sorrow that Zayn’s departure caused. Whatever the reason, I found myself wandering through the hallways of that building, trying to find my way through all the different art pieces, looking for that exhibition in particular. I found it and, the moment I saw the big poster announcing it, was the moment I saw her. I couldn’t believe how pretty she was, all dressed up in a dark grey pencil skirt, black high heels and a white shirt, talking in a clear and loud voice for everyone to hear. She was explaining the myth of Saturn as she showed some pictures on the screen on her right. Our eyes made contact and I could see her blink ever so briefly I thought I had imagined it, before she flashed me with the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. I followed her and the rest of the little group through that side of the building, becoming more amazed as the time went by with the story of Saturn. Maybe it wasn’t that much of a big deal, but that girl, that woman, explained it in such a way that it captured you. We reached the end of the guided tour and she said goodbye to everyone that left the room before she closed the door behind her. I shook my head with a stupid smile on my face, unable to believe how fascinating that stranger was and I made my way to the other side of the building, aiming to see the rest of the exhibits before I left. I took my time to wander through the rest of the rooms and I must admit it had passed a long time before someone recognised me, but eventually it happened. The man and his daughter asked for a picture, which I gladly took with them and someone from the staff saw it and asked me for a picture as well. I said yes, again, but I was worried that maybe they would use it as publicity for the museum. The woman insisted I should meet her boss and head of the museum, since she was a big fan of our music, and I didn’t know how to say no when she’d been nothing but nice to me. I sighed and followed her across a hallway and through a door labelled “only authorised staff” that led to a long staircase. We walked down the stairs and reached another door that claimed “Restoration room”, in front of which she stopped and knocked twice before opening it. I heard someone grunt inside the room and say something I wasn’t able to understand, probably complaining about the woman opening the door before getting an affirmative answer. The woman from the Saturn exhibition came to the door and asked my companion what was the matter in a voice that showed probably more exasperation than she wanted to. The woman that brought me here took a step aside so the one that was leaning against the door frame could see me, and the moment she did, her eyes opened widely and her jaw fell to the floor.
“What is he doing here? He’s not authorised,” she frowned at her, trying to cover her astonishment over having me down there.
“Uhm… He’s… He’s Harry Styles. I thought…”
“I know he’s Harry Styles. I saw him in the Saturn exhibition. But he’s not authorised to be here.”
“I’m sorry, I thought –“
“Never mind. Go upstairs, you’ll probably be needed in reception in,” she checked the fancy watch on her wrist before finishing the sentence, “five minutes. Josh’s turn is almost over and we have to make sure the place isn’t unattended until Beau gets here.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I’ll walk Mr. Styles upstairs.”
“Okay, ma’am.”
“And, Ivy,” she called her before she left, “don’t call me ma’am,” she chuckled. That sound was soft and sweet, and pleasingly unexpected. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her as she smiled at Ivy, who nodded before leaving, “I’m sorry about that,” she looked back at me.
“Uhm, don’t worry.”
“It’s been a rough day today!” she sighed, “I’ve been working on restoring this art piece for over a day now, but people don’t seem to understand the do not disturb concept whenever someone’s working. It’s so annoying,” she rolled her eyes before turning around and getting back into the restoration room, “Wanna check it out?”
“I thought I wasn’t authorised to –“
“It’s fine, she shouldn’t have brought you here, but since you’ve already seen this place, I don’t think it will make any harm to let you see this. Come on, come here,” she smiled again at me, making gestures with her hand to emphasise her words, “This is my first work as a restorer, I’ve always been just in charge of exhibitions and taking care of the art pieces of the museum. I mean, I’m not doing it on my own, but I’m helping to restore it. Isn’t it cool?”
“Yeah, it is. It seems such a hard work.”
“Well, I’m not gonna lie, it is. It takes a lot of time and patience, but it’s worth it.”
“I can see that,” I smiled at her and I saw her blush before she turned her face away from me and walked me upstairs.
I smile sadly at the bittersweet memory. That was the first time I saw her, and for some reason, I found myself unable to stay away from her, even if I tried. I always found a way to see her again. At first, I told myself it was the eerie story of Saturn eating his sons what kept bringing me back there, but at some point, I had to accept Roman mythology didn’t have such an influence on the main reason why I kept coming back. Although I tried to fight it back, I knew I was falling for her, I knew each time I dropped by to see her I was falling deeper, I knew each time I suggested her to go for a coffee I was making her get interested in me and I knew when I asked her out on a proper date, she already liked me more than she’d even admit to herself. I didn’t want to fall in love with her, because I knew what it meant to be in a relationship with Harry Styles, the public character, not the real me, and it wasn’t pretty. I didn’t want her to get hurt, but I was too weak and selfish to stop myself from talking to her, seeing her…. Kissing her. She fell for me as quickly as I did for her and, at the beginning, everything was so good, so romantic, so easy… But once the press discovered I was seeing someone, the chaos began. She shut down her twitter account because the hate she was getting from the people who call themselves my fans was too much for her to handle; the media and the paps started following her around, stalking her. And it became even worse when they found out we were engaged. That’s when it all went down. She kept blaming everything on me. Every fight we had, it was my fault; every photo that was taken without authorisation, was my fault. She kept yelling at me, blaming every single thing that went wrong on me for being famous. You see, I always dreamed of being a successful musician, but I never realised at which price that dream would come true, everything I’d have to give in. I really didn’t know what to do; I still don’t. It was, is and will always be something out of my reach. I couldn’t make the fans or the press shut up as much as I wanted to, and that’s not something that I’ll be able to do in the future either.
She left me.
She packed up all of her belongings and said goodbye to me. She said it was too much for her to handle, that it was too much to deal with and that things got out of hand when we started with the preparations for our wedding. When the press found out about our engagement, not only the hate on her social media increased, but she was also stalked by some fans who kept yelling at her on the streets, accusing her of only wanting to marry me for my money. That moment, that moment when she stood up in front of the main door, looking at me with teary eyes and a broken heart, was the moment when every piece fell into place. She was genuinely honest for the first time in years and she opened up to me, confessing she’d never told me anything about this because she didn’t want me to know about it and to have that image of these people who call themselves my fans. I knew it, I could see it in her eyes, she never stopped loving me, she loved me with all that she had, and I would’ve believed her if she had told me she’d never stop loving me. Instead, she just told me that everything she wanted was for me to be happy.
“All I want is for you to be happy,” her voice broke in the middle of the sentence as another silent tear ran down her cheek, “And I know I can’t give you all the happiness you deserve. I’ll always be haunted by the hate, I can’t handle it, I don’t know how to. Or the fact that you’re away for so long, on the road. We’re talking months, maybe even a year, away from home, away from me. And, I love you so fucking much, but there will always be that little doubt at the back of my head of whether if you’re alone in those hotel rooms or if you have company. I… I could never really trust you, Harry. And I’m so sorry to break down the news like this,” she smiled, sadly, “You’re probably gonna hate me, but I want to be honest with you for the first time, and probably the last one,” she sobbed and breathed out air shakily, trying to regain control of her emotions, “I could never really trust you because every time you were away, a picture of you with a model came out. And I know you have lots of friends, and that’s probably what it was, but… I could never get over that womanizer fame of yours. I guess I was just selfish, thinking I could change you, thinking I could change every little thing I didn’t like, so I let you fall in love with me.”
Her words still echo in my head. It was painful, one of the most heart-breaking experiences I’ve been through. And even though I tried not to, I finally decided it was easier to hate her for how she’d played with my feelings and how she’d broken my heart. It was easier to hate her for hurting me and leaving me than facing the pain that implied. It was easier blaming her for making me hate her, than being honest and realising I hated her because it wasn’t as painful as admitting she was gone. I was a coward, I still am, but I’ve never been good with feelings and emotions. That’s why I write them down in songs. I turn around again to see the empty tequila bottle laying on the floor. And in this exact moment, I know I’ve just moved on. I can’t hate her anymore, and that sharp pain in my chest is now a dull pain. I know it won’t go away that easily; maybe it will never go away, but I could live with that. It will always be a reminder of her, of our love. I didn’t want to think about it, I didn’t want to relieve all of those moments because I was afraid it would hurt me as much as that day I saw her with her suitcase on her hand, but as I’m standing here, naked, with just this hotel towel around my hips, looking at the mess that is my hotel room, I’ve realised that it’s true what they say.
In order to heal, you have to let the pain strike you.
Based on the song Saturno from Pablo Alborán.
Thank you to my Narries @roseonhissleeve and @stylishmuser for their feedback and suggestions. You’re the best guys!
I hope everyone is having a wonderful day and is doing well. So I already have a masterlist. It isn’t that long, but i decided to make a rebloggable one as well. And because I do write smut from time to time, I’m labeling my one shots/imagines, mini series.
> = Fluff
** = Smut
Enjoy the things I wrote down here and on wattpad (I post there as well). As always reblog and like :’)
Feel free to give feedback, or come and talk! And maybe send request. It is really appreciated.. 💗
Mini series:
> Fairytale prince part 1 ( being rewritten)
> Fairytale prince part 2 ( work in progress)
> Fairytale prince part 3 (done, not posted yet)
One shots/ imagines:
** Underneath the little black dress (smut.finished) ** Early mornings ( smut. finished )
** Young, wild and 23 (smut. finished )
> secret love ( fluff. Finished )
> Hawaiian memories ( fluff. Finished )
> snapshot (fluff. Finished )
> H.S imagine ( fluff. Finished )
> AU. H.S imagine ( fluff. Finished )
> Movie night (fluff. Finished )
** Love in the backseat ( smut. Finished )
** wedding day ( smut. Finished )
> coffee date ( fluff. Finished)
> Christmas surprise (fluff. Finished)🎄🎄
** A break (coming soon)
> Selfie (title will probably change, coming soon)
** / > Every atom of me missed him (fluff, slightly smutty)
“Again Y/N? But you were only here the other day!” Fionn exclaimed down the line. I nibbled the skin at the corner of my lip and fiddled with a loose thread on the hem of my t-shirt.
“I know Fionn but I really enjoyed it, I’d love to come while you are actually filming, so I can really see what it’s like” I tried. Fionn had been suspicious for a couple of weeks now, he was too smart to know that my pathetic excuses for returning to the set were for more than just ‘spending time with my best friend who has been away from me for so long’. That’s the excuse I used last time, he stared at me blankly for a solid minute before agreeing.
“Y/N, what’s going on?” he asked. But he wasn’t yet smart enough to realise my true reasons for wanting to keep going back. Harry had got my name somehow, off Fionn’s phone most likely, and after adding me on Twitter, we had been messaging back and forth all day, every day since he appeared besides Fionn on my first visit. My newspaper knowledge and pre-judgement of him was completely wrong, I was unable to stop myself from being drawn towards his electric personality.
“Nothing Fionn” I said unconvincingly. There was silence at the end of the line.
“It’s Harry isn’t it…” he said eventually and I hesitated before offering him a quiet ‘yes’.
“I knew it! The damn boy hasn’t shut up about you!” I giggled. “He’s a good guy Y/N” he said and I hummed. “Ok, come down again tomorrow, I’ll meet you at the gates like normal” he added and I thanked him.
“See you tomorrow” he finished and we said out goodbyes. I bit firmly into my bottom lip to conceal the smile that was about to erupt on to my face. This is ridiculous, I was getting giddy about seeing a guy I’d had met in person for 10 minutes and had a 2 week virtual conversation with. But still my heart leapt as his name flashed up on my screen, notifying me that I had received a Twitter message.
Pull yourself together, I thought.
From Harry: So, Fionn tells me that you’re coming to set tomorrow and that I’m to keep you company while he’s filming x
I bit my lip and let out a contented sigh as I rushed to send my reply.
To Harry: Did he now? And what if I don’t want you to keep me company? I hear Tom’s a good laugh ;) x
From Harry: You wound me, you know my jokes are way better than his. And we both know that you want me to keep you company ;) x
To Harry: cocky x
From Harry: me? Cocky? Never! See you tomorrow beautiful :) x
I didn’t attempt to mute my squeal as I collapsed back on the bed.
***
“Morning Miss” one of the security guards called as I approached the gate the next morning.
“Morning Lewis” I said as I approached. I had become on a first name basis with several of the of the security members on my now twice weekly visits. There was Lewis, the tall bald man who had denied me access on my first visit, John, who was now only working 3 days a week so he could spend time with his sick mother, and Matt, who’s sister has just had twins.
“Y/N!” a voice called as I slipped past the gates. There was no crowd today, the sky was overcast and in the distance rain clouds littered the horizon. Harry appeared from between two trailers and offered me a lopsided grin on his approach. My stomach knotted with each step he took towards me and I had to fight to keep the blush from my cheeks and maintain as much dignity as I could.
“Hi Harry” I grinned as we met, “I thought Fionn was coming to meet me?” I said.
“He was but he got called to set early, we’re running ahead of schedule, so I came instead. It that ok?” he asked with a tilt of the head. His eyebrows were pulled down and his lips fell into a small frown as he looked at me, almost as if he was worried that I didn’t want to see him. I resisted the urge to reach forward and push his lips back up into their perfect smile.
“Of course it’s ok!” I rushed quickly to ease his worry, to which he erupted into a dimple popping grin.
“Good!” he beamed, “come on, I’ll show you where they are filming” he said turning slightly and waiting for me to fall in to stride beside him before we began to make our way across the set. His arm brushed lightly with mine as we walked, the back of his hand dusting the skin of my own with each step he took. Both of us were acutely aware of the contact but neither sad anything about it, instead choosing to continue walking unnecessarily close to one another with as much feigned indifference as we could manage.
“Are you not filming today?” I asked as we squeezed past two more trailers.
“No, I’m not in any of the scenes for a couple of days. They are filming some of the opening shots on the beaches and I don’t come into the film until later on” he explained. I opened my mouth to question him further but he glanced at me with a raised brow and shook his head.
“Don’t bother, Fionn already told me not to tell you anything” he smirked.
“Damn it!” I cried.
“But when we met you said you wouldn’t be able to resist if I started asking you questions?” I said, reminding him of our first meeting to which he chuckled and nodded his head.
“I did, so please don’t try cause Fionn will kill me if I say anything” he laughed. I seized my opportunity.
“Does Fionn die in the movie? Does he get rescued? Do you die? Who dies? Will I cry? What were you filming the other day and why were you all covered in some black sticky stuff?” I rushed. In seconds Harry had me pinned against the side of a white trailer, his hand pressed lightly over my mouth. My stomach erupted in a swarm of butterflies and my blood sizzled in my veins. Harry hesitated for a couple of seconds when he realised the position we had found ourselves in but relaxed when he realised I wasn’t going to push him away in disgust. He removed his hand from my lips but didn’t pull away. His breathing was shallow and a slight blush tinted his cheeks.
“Don’t push it Y/N, cause I will tell you everything and Fionn will never speak to me again” he said lightly and I giggled.
“Sorry, it was worth a shot” I beamed. He gazed at me with bright, thoughtful eyes but said nothing.
“Come on” he said softly, pulling away from me and leading us on.
Harry and I watched filming for several hours. Fionn caught sight of us not long after we arrived and sent me a small wave which I returned and made a mental note to hug and kiss him later. Harry explained all that he could without giving too much away, describing the process and equipment as best he could while repeatedly adding ‘I don’t know much about making movies’.
“So this bit is going to be for the start of the movie?” I asked as Fionn once again ran along the sand carrying a stretcher.
“Yeah this is one of the first scenes” he said.
“And why aren’t you in this bit?” I asked.
“Cause I’m meant to be on that boat over there” he said, pointing to a large, white boat in the distance. ‘Oh’ I said with a small nod. There was a moment of silence as someone called ‘cut’ and ran over to Fionn and the other boy carrying the stretcher and spoke quickly to them.
“So did you really come today just to watch some of the filming?” Harry asked after a while. I kept my eyes on the beach full of people before me and shrugged slightly.
“I’d be lying if I said it was my only reason” I said, glancing quickly at Harry who already had his gaze firmly fixed on me. His cheeks flushed and he bowed his head to hide the smile pulling at the corner of his lips.
“I’ve really liked talking to you over these past couple of weeks” he said quietly and I looked at him once more.
“Really?” I asked, the end of my sentence rising in hope and my eyebrows raising.
“Really” he said genuinely with a small nod. I offered him a beaming smile and felt the heat rising in my cheeks.
“Maybe we could hang out, away from set, I mean. We could go for dinner or something?” he rambled nervously. I giggled and he blushed.
“Sure, I think Fionn is getting sick of seeing me anyway” I laughed to which Harry grinned.
“No, I think he’s just getting sick of the hugs and kisses” he joked and I erupted into a fit of laughter. Harry watched with glittering eyes and a small smile on his lips.
“Yeah he doesn’t like that” I chuckled finally, wiping away a small tear which had leaked from the corner of my eye.
“No he doesn’t,” he said, “I wouldn’t mind it though” he grinned cheekily and I giggled, reaching up on my tip toes to plant a gently kiss on his cheek, much more delicate than the ones I give Fionn. Harry’s face blushed scarlet and I smiled.
“Hey, Y/N!” someone called from the beach. Fionn was making his way towards us and gestured for me to come over to a small set of steps down to the beach.
“I better go see him” I said gently to Harry. He nodded and offered me a small smile.
“So, I’ll message you later about dinner, yeah?” he asked and I smiled.
“Yeah, I’ll send you my number” I said lightly to which he grinned. I took a couple of steps around him and headed towards the steps where Fionn was not waiting patiently at the bottom. I turned back as I reached the first step.
“Oi, Harry!” I called to grab his attention, his head snapped towards me and he raised his eyebrows, “see you around” I grinned. His smile beamed so bright beneath the sun I forgot how to breathe for several seconds.
Request: PURE ANGST WITH A REALLY HAPPY ENDING BUT STILL ANGST PLEASE
// In which Harry’s girlfriend breaks up with him because she can’t handle the distance anymore.
“Harry, I can’t do this anymore.” Just one little sentence had destroyed him, “what is it you can’t do anymore babe?” Trying to calm down his girlfriend. He knew what she meant but couldn’t bear to think about what was about to come. He wanted her to see it; he needed it. "I'm so tired of not having you around. So fucking tired of being second to everything. What even is the point of being together if you're gonna make me feel more alone than when I'm actually alone?"
(Y/N) knew she was being selfish when she asked Harry to do such a big requests but she needed the truth to be told. "It doesn't even change when you're home. You're always doing your own thing. It's like you're never even here and I'm sick of it."
She wanted to be a normal couple, doing normal couple things.
(Y/N) always had stood by Harry’s side through everything; from the Larry conspiracies, hate, cheating rumors, the list could go on and on. She promised him she would stay for the long haul, but how can she keep her promises, when Harry doesn't even keep his?
"You don't mean that, y/n.."
"See Harry, you're so used to me going along with your need and your thing. I think it's time you let me do my things.."
"Please, I can't.. I can't bear it. Don't leave me. I need.. I need you."
"I don't think that's true. You're barely with me, why would you need me?"
"But I do! Dammit, y/n, I need you!"
"But what about me? What about the times I needed you?"
Then maybe she cried and it broke his heart because he knows she's not a crier or summat and Harry realized that she's really hurt and it's a losing battle
"This is the last time I'm asking you this, put my name on the top of your list
This is the last time I'm asking you why you constantly break my heart in a blink of an eye.."
“Baby, you know this is important to me. I can’t just throw it all away over just some relationship. Honestly, I can’t give you what you want.”
This was a stab to (Y/N)’s heart; she was breaking slowly.
“I guess I should go, since this whole relationship isn’t worth the fight.”
“(Y/N), you know I didn’t mean that way..”
Although, it was too late for Harry.. (Y/N) was already packing her bags getting ready to leave their shared flat. He loved her with his whole heart but he didn’t want her to stay if she was so unhappy. Harry had let her pack her bags and met her by the door; “I love you so much that I just want you to be happy and I know you won’t be happy if you continue to stay, but I really hope you find your way back to me again. Goodbye (Y/N).”
Her eyes were filling up with tears about the thought of leaving him, “Bye Harry.”
“HARRY STYLES AND KENDALL JENNER THE NEW IT COUPLE OF HOLLYWOOD”
(Y/N) was shocked to see the magazine cover, it was only 3 months since the two had their separate ways.
How could Harry move on so fast? Did their relationship really not mean anything to him?
(Y/N) decided to ring up her friend and tell her about her situation, she didn’t want to sit home and mourn for Harry when he had someone he was cuddling up to. Even though, she was the cause of the break up; she still missed Harry dearly.
“(Y/N), you can’t possibly wear that! How are you supposed to go home with someone when you look like my grandma?”
She was just wearing a pair of black super high waisted jeans with a crop top; something a grandma would never wear. (Y/N) wasn’t even trying to go home with someone, she was just planning on going out to some bar with her girlfriends.
They had different plans for her though.
“Oh hell no, I am not wearing that.”
Looking at some skimpy dress, it was a cute dress. She just didn’t like to show too much of her body.
“You’re going to look so hot, (Y/N/N). If you don’t like it, just throw it off.”
She rolled her eyes and took it from her friends hands; the dress had accentuated all of (Y/N)’s curves and in all honesty she looked hot.
“Okay, I think this is a winner.”
Her friend jumped for joy, “See (Y/N) you just have to trust me every once in awhile”
The group of friends had finally made it into the nightclub; the music so loud it was drowning out their thoughts.
“Let’s get wasted ladies!” They all cheered at the idea of that.
She walked up to the bar; “one cosmo, please!”
(Y/N) had felt a presence behind her which had made her turn around, “what’s a pretty lady like you doing here by herself? The man had slurred his words. He had tried to grip (Y/N)’s waist but her best friend came to the rescue, “there you are (Y/N/N)! I’ve been looking for you.”
She handed you a couple of shots, “drink all these now, you have to loosen up!! How are you suppose to get laid when you’re standing around like a virgin?”
That little statement had hurt (Y/N) just a bit, but she did what her friend told her.
One cosmo and 5 vodka shots later, (Y/N) was messed up and ready to go.
She ended up leaving her group of friends and hailing a taxi; “where to miss?”, tipping his hat up to her.
“This address please,” slurring her words and handing him this piece of paper.
When (Y/N) dated Harry, he always made sure she had the address for the uber or taxi driver so she can get home safely. He never wanted anything bad to happen to her.
(Y/N) hadn’t gone out with friends in months, which meant the little piece of paper was still Harry’s address. She was so drunk; she didn’t even realize that she was going to ex-boyfriend.
“Thank you, taxi driver.”
She stumbled up to the the apartment door; trying to jam her key into the door.
It wasn’t going into the keyhole though, so (Y/N) drunk as hell started banging on the door. No one would’ve answered if she was back at her flat; she would’ve probably woken up the neighbors from the ruckus.
A brown haired, green eyed, shirtless man had finally opened up the door. Who happened to be her ex-boyfriend.
“Jesus, (Y/N). What are you doing? It’s 3 am.” Harry could see she was pissed though; he eased up on her and allowed her to come in.
She sobered up a tad bit when she realized where she was, “I don’t know why I’m here. I gave the taxi driver the slip of paper; and here I am. I’ll leave now, sorry for waking you up.”
It felt like deja vu, (Y/N) leaving all over again. Harry wasn’t going to let her go this time; especially with her being drunk off her ass.
“Just stay here (Y/N/N), I’ll take you home tomorrow. Sleep in my bed, okay?”
When she shut their old bedroom door, he rubbed his temples. What was his ex-girlfriend doing here? She was the one that had broken up with him, why would she be in his bed?
Her coming back to his home wasn’t good for him; he was finally moving on. He didn’t want to break up, it had been all her idea.
He ended up knocking on the bedroom door; wanting answers from her.
“(Y/N), why are you even here? You broke up with me! Why are you suddenly coming back? I never wanted to break up. I was willing to fight for us but you had just shut the door before I could even try.”
The sun was starting to rise; Harry was no longer sleepy and (Y/N) had sobered up. He was ready to get his answers.
“Do you remember the night I left you told me you hoped I can make my way back to you? I did Harry, and these 3 months were possibly the worst. This is worse than whenever you would leave for months. I would much rather have you in my life still then not at all.”
A/N: hi friends :) hoped you enjoyed this one!!!! first time writing something that’s not fluffy, i tried to get out of my comfort zone!! i hoped you guys enjoyed this. let me know if you would like a part 2 !
Harry still wasn’t sure if his decision to end your relationship was for the best or for the worst but through work and his busy schedule, he was only concentrated on his new interviews and promos. He wasn’t a workaholic. No. But he wanted a distraction. And his career was willing to offer him just that. He had almost persuaded himself that he was over you. That he only saw you as an old friend of his and not as his passionate lover who used to spoil him with her love and her support. But as soon as such thoughts made their appearance in his mind, he started working again in order to think of nothing but his new appointments.
But what happened when he was all alone in his home and you weren’t there to welcome him and relax him? What happened when work was no longer able to fill his mind and keep his thoughts away from you? What happened when he finally understood he shouldn’t have let you go? He started reminding himself why you were so important to him. That’s what happened.
He had fooled himself if he ever believed he could forget you. Even the simplest of things reminded him of you. When he was preparing his lunch, he couldn’t help but remember the times when you had cooked his favourite meal to help him get his mind off of his hectic day or when he would place his hands on your hips when you were doing the dishes; because leaving them dirty overnight is nasty, as you always said to Harry. Or when he was watching a movie, the thought of you snuggling closer to him and peppering each other with kisses and of course hugging him very tight throughout a horror movie would flood his damn mind; he had connected everything to you.
According to him though, the hardest time came by the night. When it was finally time to go upstairs and be met with the warmness of sleep. The thing was, he couldn’t sleep properly anymore. After some time of being asleep, he often found himself placing his arm near him, where your usual spot was, absentmindedly, but he was only met with coldness and emptiness instead of his lovely and welcoming girl who always slept with him. It was coming to a point where he felt, if not knew, that not being with you was an utter torture. Sometimes, he would be with his group of friends or with his family, but he would still feel like a part of him was absent. He couldn’t take it. It was slowly driving him insane. And what killed him more was not knowing if you felt the same. If he caused you so much pain as well, because he knew for sure how it felt being separated from you, or if you had found somebody new who would heal your wounds with the love he was only supposed to provide you with.
“What have I done to yeh and us, Y/N?”, were the words that were permanent on his lips. Sat on the bed he long ago shared with you, hands on his face and warm tears wetting his cheeks was his current position. He felt lost. He felt so numb that he was surprised he felt a jolt of pain when his foot kicked something under the bed he was sitting on. He hesitantly kneeled down to have a look and a simple box was staring right back at him. He didn’t remember having purchased a new pair of shoes recently so he just discarded the lid and the revelation of photographs picturing you two, came like a rushing wave. He had erased the box from his memory. He of course remembered all the photographs taken when you were a couple but he didn’t remember agreeing when you had suggested you both keep copies of the photographs. But now, he definitely remembered.
He placed his hand in the box and picked up a photograph. Not a particular one. Just one. And he wished he hadn’t.
“When was the last time I kissed you?”, you asked out of the blue and you were met with a smirking Harry.
“Hmm, I think ten minutes ago when we were cookin’ dinner”, he said before bringing the fork full of pasta to his lips.
“How did I manage to resist for so long?”, you acted being shocked and got up from your seat ready to share a kiss with your hungry boyfriend. Just as you were about to lean in, he filled his mouth with pasta and without thinking twice, you kissed him.
“Love, yeh have a bit of tomato sauce on yeh”, he said chuckling and you started laughing.
“Where? Where?”, you were feeling a little bit gross, but it was your decision to kiss him while he was chewing.
“Here baby”, he said before snapping the picture.
“Meh lovely tomato stained girl”, he said before grabbing your waist and kissing you while staining his mouth with tomato sauce as well.
All these memories made him curse under his breath. He started to wonder if you ever looked at the pictures as well. A part of him hoped you didn’t because if you did and you hadn’t called or sent a message, even accidentally, this meant you had moved on. And he couldn’t bring himself to handle this. His hand picked up another photograph and a smile made its way on his lips before more tears started blurring his vision. It was the last photo of you together.
Harry’s mom, Anne, had invited you over for a small gathering at her house. She knew the beautiful relationship between the two of you and she hoped it would last a lifetime.
“Harry, pass me the salt dear”, she said to her son and he happily obliged. He was so content you were getting along with his family that he couldn’t stop his smile from forming every now and then.
“I have an idea! Only if it is possible of course”, you said suddenly, getting everyone’s attention.
“Go on darling”, Anne encouraged you enthusiastically. You had the greatest ideas and Harry’s family was more than eager to participate.
“When we were coming with Harry, I couldn’t help but notice the perfectly decorated backyard. I was wondering if we could all go there after we finish dinner and have a few drinks along with some music!”.
“Like a small party yeah?”, Gemma completed and you nodded. Everyone agreed and after some time you were all outside.
“Yeh have brilliant ideas baby. Meh mom would never want to have a party unless she had it organized two weeks ago. Whereas your idea of a small gatherin’ just like a party was very smart”.
“Aw thank you Harry. It is nothing really. Anyone could have suggested it. But I wanted to cherish this backyard like crazy”, you said and just then Harry’s lips met your forehead. He was very proud and appreciative of you.
Just then, you heard it. A click. And this time, the photograph was not taken from either of you. It was taken from Anne. And she couldn’t choose a more perfect time to snap it.
“My two lovebirds”, she said and smiled while leaving you two be.
This was the last push. He knew it was time he got you back. He realized what a huge mistake he had made and honestly, he was okay, pleased even with the idea of making it up to you his whole life. The only thing he was wishing for was for you not to have moved on. But how could he ever think you had the strength to do that?
His feet carried him to your house. It wasn’t much of a distance and right now, he was thanking God. Before he was ready to knock on your door, he saw you. You were in your bedroom and you were doing what he had been doing some moments ago. You were looking at a photograph.
“I knew it. I’m comin’ baby”, he said and then, he knocked.
You were startled hearing the knocks on your door, because you were sure you weren’t expecting any visitors. Besides, it was late in the evening so no one would come at such an hour. When you opened your door, you choked on your own breath. He was the last person you expected to see on your doorstep. You took a good glimpse of him and knowing it would wreck you, you brought your eyes to his. His eyes were dull. They weren’t shining like before. They had lost their happiness; their life.
“What happened to your eyes Harry?”, was your only question. He was taken aback from your reaction but when he comprehended what you had just said, he smiled through his tear stained cheeks.
“They weren’t looking at you every day”, he said before showing you a piece of paper. You instantly started tearing up when you saw the picture he was holding out for you to see. It was the picture you were holding as well. The picture in which you two were kissing on your first date, right on your doorstep. How was this possible?
“Harry, h-how?”, you stuttered showing him the photograph you were holding as well. You felt a bit intimidated; it was like fate was playing tricks on you and it enjoyed it too.
“Whenever I wanted to sleep well in the night, I always held this picture close to meh. I guess I knew that this picture is as important to meh as it is to yeh. We are one Y/N. We make a whole. And I was a complete idiot fo’ lettin’ yeh slip through meh fingers. I wish we hadn’t let all this time pass us by. Is it too late now to make up fo’ it?”
You were distant. Yes, you were because the pain he had caused you was something unbearable. You only knew how strong you had to be not to witness yourself collapsing due to heartbreak. But as you were looking deep in his eyes, you suddenly knew you were the one for him and he was the one for you. He made a mistake but he looked determined to make it right. So you did the only thing you wanted to do all this time you had spent sitting alone and crying over your photographs; you kissed and hugged him like he was about to disappear once again and you would lose him for once and for all.
“I promise yeh Y/N. I am not leavin’ yeh again whether you like it or not”, he said before kissing you again, recreating the context of the photograph you were both holding that night.
Part two to Photographs was requested so here it is! I hope you guys liked reading it! Feedback is very much appreciated and don’t hesitate to express your feelings about my work! Requests are open and I will try to come back to you with the requests I have already received! Don’t worry loves! As I always say, more is yet to come! Stay tuned!
Request : “Do you want me to leave?” and “I am not losing you again!”
You are tired of waiting around for harry, so you make the sad decision to leave
I couldn’t live like this anymore, I couldn’t live a life where I have to sit here and wait for someone that barely comes around. I was lonely, I mean I don’t need a significant lover in my life but when I do and that person isn’t really around makes it hard. They say they love me and care about me, but as days go on I just can’t grasp what they express to me anymore. I sit here in silence, waiting here another day like always wondering if they will even call. It gets to a point where a week goes by and I don’t even see a text from them. The only way I really can see what they are doing is from looking online. So that’s just what I do, I look up the most latest new articles on them. The first thing that I notice right away is that they came back in town, without my indication. Something inside of me makes me snap and I just lose it, How could he do this. I sit here and waste my time on someone that I believe doesn’t even feel the way that I do about them. I decided that enough was enough and I wanted out, I couldn’t be here in this house any longer.
Waiting patiently for him to walk through the door, but they never really did. I ran up to our bedroom and start to pack my things up, I knew that they wouldn’t be coming home soon so I could come back for the rest of my things. I grab my suitcase and just start to pile all of my clothing into it, not caring what it looks like. Just when I am almost done I hear noises coming from downstairs, the slam of a door and foot steps. I makes me feel worried at first but my mind instantly knows who exactly it is. I zip up the suitcase and start to roll it down the hallway, I know I need to face him and tell him what I am doing. I can’t keep doing this, I can’t keep on getting my hopes up but them being let down once again. When I reach down to the end of the stairs and set the suitcase at the bottom, I see Harry standing in the kitchen over the sink. He notices my presence and strides over to me.
“Y/n I missed you so much” Harry says and wraps his arms around me, it feels nice to be in his arms but I know that it isn’t worth it
“Missed you too Harry” I say and pull away from him, trying not to get too attached. Not making it harder than it already is
“Is something wrong babe?” Harry asks and holds my forearms, looking down at me with a concerned look on his face
“Ummm…” I say and turn around to where my things are, nervous to turn back around to see Harry’s reaction
“Y/n what is that?” Harry asks and turns me back around, looking at me a bit scared
“Harry.. I am leaving” I admit, my face feeling hot and I turn back around reach for my things, waiting for Harry to respond back
“Why? Y/n what is going on” Harry says starting to get choked up, He turns away from me and rubs his hands on his face. Trying to keep it together, trying to understand what is happening right now
“I am just not happy Harry, I am lonely and can’t do this anymore” I say looking at him, finally getting to express how I have been feeling these past few months
“Why aren’t you happy? I am confused” Harry says, shocked over what is happening right now. Looking past me not even wanting to look at me in the eyes
“I sit here day and night waiting for you. I dropped everything In my life to move out here with you. I left all my friends and family, quit my job and now I just sit here waiting when you never come home” I raise my voice a bit, feeling frustrated and not knowing how to take it all in.
“Y/n babe I am so sorry, I know I am not around enough. I know we don’t spend enough time together” Harry says trying to compose himself, I notice a tear coming down his cheek and I feel my heart break “I am not losing you again!”
You see Harry and I almost broke up once, when Harry moved out here to London and knew he was going on tour we both didn’t know how we would work each other out. I didn’t wanna leave my home town and leave behind everything that I always day and always loved. But I love Harry and decided on a whim that I was going to leave and re start my whole life over and with Harry.
Now a year later and it’s not the life that I expected to have
“I love you Harry, I really do but I just can’t keep on doing this when you never come around” I admit, I feel like my whole world that I have worked on for years now just wasn’t worth it. I have gave everything to this man and things just won’t be the same. I don’t know if I am just a too much of a hopeless romantic but I believed that love can fight through anything, but truly it can’t be with everything. Ever since I was a little girl I have dreamed about finding an amazing man and falling in love with him, to be happy and us to be together forever. But I don’t know if that will ever happen to me or at least not Harry.
“Y/n I will drop everything I will stop touring, I will take time off from the studio. I knew and realized that we weren’t spending enough time together, I am missing you” Harry says coming closer, trying to get my grip off of the handle and pull me into him. I don’t know yet, I am not fully convinced. I a scared what will happen, I don’t know if Harry is just bluffing and he ends up going back into his old ways. I am tired of being hurt over and over.
I stay silent though, I need some time to think about this. My heart is telling me to stay but my head is telling me to leave. But I don’t really know what my gut is telling me, I am so confused over the situation. “Do you want me to leave?”
I look up at Harry and notice that his whole face is wet from his tears, seeing him in this type of state starts to make me regret what I just pulled. Should I really be leaving the man that I love so much and I know that he loves me too, or should I just not care and walk out now. Part of me now is changing and the idea of leaving him hear to cry in sorrow all by himself while I am out alone too just doing the same thing.
“No Harry no, I want you to stay… I wanna stay” I confess and reach out for him hand, he instantly grabs back and leans down on one and rests his head on my fist and starts to cry loudly
“Oh thank god, thank you y/n.. Thank you so much for staying” Harry cries out and stands back up, he grabs my body and pulls me into a hug. He rests his head into my neck, not wanting him to pull away. I know in this moment that I made a good decision. I don’t know what I would do in my life without this man. I would have lost everything, having to move back home and restart my life like Harry never even existed to me. But I don’t want that, I wanna live on with him like my fairy tale is in my head and for us to die together when we are old and wrinkly and can can barely stand up.
“Harry baby, I love you and I want us to work out, but we just need to actually work things out from this point on” I say and pull him away from, I wipe his face and his tears away. He shakes his head agreeing with me and rubbing his thumbs over my hands, making me feel a bit more calm about the situation.
“I know baby, I know and we will, I want to see you everyday and work out till you are happy, Okay?” Harry says and gives me a week smile, feeling relieved that we resolved everything. Even if this situation blew up in both of our faces it did end like this and we both are going to make things up. At this point I just wanna get in bed and cuddle with Harry and fall asleep in his arms
“Okay, Let’s go upstairs I wanna cuddle in bed” I say and pushing my suitcase away from us and pulling Harry by his hand up to the staircase. Harry doesn’t have to say anything but I know that he agrees on the idea. We both reach to the bed and strip down to just out undergarments, we lift the sheets up and slip in. I wrap my legs around his and he pulls me into him with my head in his chest. “I love you y/n”
“I love you too Harry, forever” I say looking at him with a smile, grabbing the side of his jaw and bring his face down to mine. I lightly peck his lips and smile, so happy in this moment, I know from this point on we will have to work out a lot of things in a relationship but I am ready to start and ready to see where it leads us.
This is the first part of Meet Me in the Hallway series. It’s going to be three or five parts, depending on how it goes lmao I can get a little bit carried away with my writing and it ends up waaaay longer than I intended.
Feedback and comments are so welcome, I know my writing isn’t the best out there but I’m willing to learn and accept criticism. It’s how we grow as a person anyway, right?
Please enjoy.
“Hey, can you help me?”
“Yeah?”
“Can you help me please? I’m lost. I need to get some cash and I can’t seem to put my card in.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah, I’m desperate.”
“What if I rob all of your money and belongings? I could use some money to pay for my tuition.”
“Listen mate, do whatever you want, but leave me some money for cab. I forgot where I left my phone and I don’t have any cash. I just want to get home. Please.”
“You’re unbelievable.”
“Just put it in. Please?”
“You’re Flora Sterling.”
“Probably. Cab money. I’m begging you.”
“You know what? Give me your address, I’ll take you home.”
Maybe it’s his kind green eyes or the delicate curve of his mouth, or, maybe, just maybe, Flora is just high and drunk enough to trust anyone.
Maybe it’s her empty, bloodshot eyes or the rosy, tear streaked cheeks, or, maybe, just maybe, Harry is just generous enough to help anyone.
An AU where Harry is a student with a flair for art who’s good at ignoring things and Flora is a girl who has too many people around her and too much feelings, and is not that good at keeping secrets.
One Evening – Feist
“That something you said, the timing was right, the pleasure was mine
The time and the place, the look in your face,
Sincerest of eyes…”
“Hey, can you help me?”
Harry stopped on his tracks. A girl, a stunning girl with scarlet lips and bright eyes, was staring at him. She had a cigarette on one hand and a card on the other. Her hair, long and dark, was disheveled like her expensive-looking clothes. Her arms were bare, Harry could see her shivering slightly against the cool September wind. Harry wondered what the hell this girl was doing standing here alone, in the cold, in the middle of the night.
“Yeah?”
“Can you help me please?” she asked again, voice growing desperate. “I’m lost. I need to get some cash and I can’t seem to put my card in.”
“Are you serious?” Harry half-laughed, baffled. What kind of idiot asked a stranger to handle her card? At 2 AM? In New York?
“Yeah, I’m desperate,” she chewed on her lips, clearly nervous.
“What if I rob all of your money and belongings? I could use some money to pay for my tuition,” Harry raised his eyebrows.
“Listen mate, do whatever you want, but leave me some money for cab. I forgot where I left my phone and I don’t have any cash. I just want to get home. Please,” her card was hanging loosely between her fingers.
“You’re unbelievable,” Harry shook his head in disbelief.
“Just put it in. Please?” she insisted, eyes widening. Harry was sure he saw this girl somewhere. He stole a glance to the name on the card, and it clicked.
Flora Sterling. He mentally cursed himself for not recognising her at first, but it was hard to see her face under the messy hair and swollen eyes. Still, despite it all, she looked gorgeous. Harry had had a crush on her since the longest time. The youngest daughter of Alastair Sterling, a prominent businessman—who owned probably 75% of the properties in his old neighbourhood—and Stella Whitman, a former supermodel. Harry’s sister—bless her—was obsessed with Tanya, the older Sterling daughter, so Harry knew their family and friends inside out. He knew what designer label was Stella’s favourite. He knew where Tanya celebrated her sweet sixteen. He knew what Chloe—the middle sister—liked to have for breakfast. He knew every scandal they’d been involved in.
Flora though, he didn’t know much about, so that’s why he was intrigued by her.
Again, what the hell was she doing standing here alone, in the cold, in the middle of the night, without an army of bodyguards?
“You’re Flora Sterling.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement.
She continued chewing her bottom lip. “Probably. Cab money. I’m begging you.”
Harry took a look at the state she was in. There’s no way he would leave her alone this way. “You know what? Give me your address, I’ll take you home.”
“You’re not going to kidnap me, right?” Flora asked, her anxious blue eyes staring at him.
“Would you believe me if I say I’m not?” he rolled his eyes. “Where do you live?”
“Alright,” she decided. Chris—her bodyguard—would give her shit for this. But what option did she have? She didn’t know her way around the city, thanks to her dad who insisted she never gets out without a chauffeur.
Flora was too desperate to think too hard. She just wanted to go home, crawl into her bed, and sleep for eternity. He looked harmless enough, so she told him her address.
“That’s only two blocks from here. I’ll walk you home.”
Flora shivered, but she nodded in relief.
“You’re cold,” he shrugged out of his jacket and offered it to her. Flora took it with obvious gratitude and relief. “Thanks.”
“Come on,” he gestured to follow him. “I’m Harry.”
“I’m Flora.”
“Yeah, I know,” he hummed. “You alright?”
“Yes,” she replied. “Just, whoa,” she swayed on her feet. Harry grabbed her arm to balance her. “’M just a bit drunk. Drank a lot. It’s Saturday night,” she said defensively.
“How did you end up here? Why are you alone?”
“I don’t know,” she laughed shakily. “I was in some club, things happened and the next thing I know my phone is gone and I’m stranded here.”
Harry stole a glance at her. She was wearing his jacket, still shivering and chewing her bottom lip.
“Relax. Here, use my phone to call someone,” Harry fished his phone out of his pocket. She looked at it, then shook her head.
“It’s fine. I don’t think I have anyone’s number memorized, thank you,” she turned away. Harry shoved his phone in her hand. She looked at him, confused.
“To call the police if I do something,” he smiled. “I won’t, but in case you’re worried.”
“It’s okay,” she nodded, clutching the phone. “Thank you.”
“You’re still cold. It’s not that cold and you’re wearing my jacket,’ he pointed out. He sensed her tensing beside him. “I’m easily cold, so what?” she replied defensively. “I wish I lived in California with my mum. I hate the cold,” she huffed.
“Your mum’s in California?” asked Harry.
“She moved a while ago. She grew up there, made her career there too. I guess now that she and my dad stopped speaking she figured there’s nothing for her here since both Tanya and Chloe are married, and well, she never cared for..,” she trailed off, eyeing him. “Why am I telling you all of this?”
“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “For what it’s worth, I’m not a gossip columnist,” he added, grinning.
“What do you do then?” she asked.
“I’m doing my master’s degree,” replied Harry. “Architecture, in Columbia.”
“Do you live ‘round here?”
“No, Brooklyn.”
Her eyes widened at his reply. “That’s a long way to go. What are you doing around here then?”
“My mate has a place in Upper West Side,” he shrugged. “I stay there all the time, and he invited me to a party around here. He ditched me for a girl, so here I am.”
“Brooklyn’s a long way to go from Columbia,” she pointed out again.
“I know,” he nodded. “I mostly live in Max’s place—that’s my mate who owns a place in Upper West Side—my place in Brooklyn is my sister’s and she wants me to take care of it. So that’s what I’m doing.”
“Are you going back to your place or your mate’s?”
“Tonight?” Harry frowned. “I haven’t thought of that. I think I’ll go home to Brooklyn. Don’t want to listen to Max grunting all night,” he made a disgusted face and Flora laughed.
Harry felt this strange pang of pride in his chest. I made Flora Sterling laugh.
“We’re almost there,” Harry pointed out. “See?”
“Oh, yeah,” she nodded. “Sorry, it’s all so hazy. Besides, I never really pay attention to the road. Arthur—my chauffeur—he knows the way.”
Harry snorted. Of course he did.
“What?” she asked, confused.
“Nothing. We’re here.”
“Oh,” her eyes darted to the doorman behind the glass door. “Oh, yeah, I know that guy. He’s my doorman. Wow, where was I?” she rambled. “Anyway,” she peeled off his jacket then gave it back—with his phone. “Thank you,” she hesitated, but then she planted a kiss on his cheek.
“Pleasure,” Harry he could feel a blush creeping up his cheeks. Flora gave him an awkward wave before turning her back, greeting her doorman—who eyed Harry suspiciously. Harry waited until she got in before he let out a sigh.
Flora Sterling. He just walked Flora Sterling home. His sister would freak out if she knew, but she wouldn’t believe him if he told her he just walked a Sterling home. He probably would never see her again, he thought. Maybe Flora would move to another building—her old man did have tons of them—because a stranger knew where she lived. Tanya did move when a fan figured out her address and camped outside waiting for her every morning. Not that Harry would do such thing, but still.
He bumped into Flora Sterling and she kissed him. What are the odds?
With one last sigh, he walked away. He had a class in the morning.
She – Elvis Costello
“She may be the face I can’t forget
The trace of pleasure I regret
Maybe my treasure or the price I have to pay…”
“Are you following me?”
Harry knew that voice. He turned and there she was, standing with a go-cup in one hand—how the hell did she smuggle a bloody go-cup in?—Flora Sterling. She yanked her sunglasses off, showing off her eyes. Her dull, empty blue eyes. There still were dark shadows under her eyes, contrasting her bright irises. It made her look paler than she already was. To Harry’s relief, strangely, there were no tear marks on her cheeks this time. A progress.
Shut up, you don’t ever know her to be concerned, Harry thought.
“Hey,” Harry waved to her before turning his gaze back to the painting.
“Are you following me?” she repeated. She was already chewing her bottom lip.
“It’s the Met,” Harry shrugged. “Lots of people go here, love. I go here every week.”
“Really?” she seemed to relax a little. “I never saw you here before.”
“Maybe you were too drunk,” he teased, not shifting his gaze. Harry could feel her gaze, so he turned and faced her. “What? You don’t own the place, do you? And I seriously doubt you’re here every day.”
Flora started to chew her lip again. “Actually, I kinda am. Uh, here. Every day. Well, almost.”
“Really?” Harry raised his eyebrows. That was brand new information. He might not follow the Sterlings closely like his sister did, but he knew none of them were interested in art. Well, as far as he, or rather, Gemma knew, at least. “Never pegged you as the artsy kind.”
“You don’t know me,” she huffed. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Just an observation,” he shrugged.
“So, I’m gonna..,” she trailed off. “See you around, I guess?”
“Perhaps,” Harry smiled at her. “If you’re really here every day.”
“Not quite,” she smiled back. She stalked off, sipping her coffee, then paused and turned back. “I’m almost done here,” she said quietly. “Do you want to walk me home again?”
“What?” Harry squeaked his question, stunned. “Walk you where?”
“Home?” she replied. Her cheeks were already flaming with a pretty pink colour. Harry found himself terribly endeared with this new development. “Never mind,” she shrugged, already turning away.
“Hey, hey!” Harry nearly shouted after her, grabbing her wrist to stop her from walking away. She stared at his hand on her wrist. He pulled it back immediately, like it was on fire.
“Sorry,” he apologised.
She cleared her throat. “So, um. I need to say goodbye to Paul.”
“Paul?” he asked, frowning.
“Yeah. He’s the head security. He used to work for my father, but then he got this gig. He lets me do practically anything. He knows I love coming here,” she paused. “This is my safe space,” she continued shyly.
“I’ll meet you at the steps?” he smiled. It fascinated Harry, how different she was with the image of her he built in his mind. He always thought of her like Tanya and Chloe, the peacock kind. But there was always a mysterious air around her, because not like her sisters, she was never in the center of spotlight much. If anything, she was the most reserved Sterling woman. But she’s still a Sterling. She’s like a witch, Harry used to think. Mysterious but charming and confident. Or at least that’s how Harry imagined her to be.
Not like this awkward duckling who gets lost, goes to museums every day, and asks him to walk her home shyly like every man doesn’t throw himself at her every day.
Harry thought he liked this awkward duckling.
The walk home was short. Flora didn’t talk much, he noticed. So he tried to fill the silence with his usual chatter. He tried to ask about her family, her sisters, but her face fell immediately at the mention of Tanya’s name. Sensing her discomfort, Harry just decided not to push. So he talked about his family instead.
“Gemma was always the popular one, out of us,” he chirped happily. “She used to drag me to parties, but I never really liked it. I’m the odd brother. But then she moved back to London and I kinda miss her pulling on my legs trying to get me out on a Saturday night,” he chuckled.
“London? Your accent, it’s real?” she asked.
Harry snorted. “What do you take me for?! My mum is British. Spent the first 12 years of my life there. But then my gran fell ill, and we had to follow my dad here so he could take care of her.”
“I hope she’s better now.”
“She is,” he smiled. “She passed away right before I started uni.”
“Oh!” she gasped. “I’m so sorry… I didn’t think…”
“S’alright, love,” Harry assured her. “She said she was happy to be surrounded by her family for the last days of her life. Made it less painful. She’s not suffering anymore.”
“Death is cruel,” she murmured. “Yet strangely fair.”
“Yeah, but what can we do?” he said easily. “We’re here.”
“Yes,” she stopped to turn to Harry. Like the last time, she hesitated first, then she planted a kiss on his cheek. She eased back a little, but instead of pulling all the way back, she planted another kiss on the corner of his mouth. Harry slung an arm around her hesitantly, afraid she would push him away.
But she didn’t.
Instead, she was leaning on him, taking him in. It was in the middle of the day, in the middle of a crowd of people staring at them. She didn’t care. Neither did Harry. Breathing his scent, she buried burying her face in his chest. He kissed the top of her head, inhaling her scent. She smelled like flowers, he thought. He felt like he might float away.
And Flora? She felt like she’s secured to the ground.
Safe. She was safe.
When they broke apart, she was smiling.
“Harry?”
“Yes, Flora?”
“See you around,” she waved, and walked away.
And all Harry could think about was she kissed me again.
Storms – Fleetwood Mac
“I haven’t felt this way I feel
Since many years ago
But in those years and the lifetime’s past
I did not deal with the road…”
“Now you’re the one who’s following me.”
Flora jumped a little on her feet. “Harry?” she asked, startled. “What are you doing here?”
“Shouldn’t I be the one who asked that?” Harry set his book aside. “You’re in Brooklyn.”
“I didn’t know you live here,” she shook her head. Her dark curls fell to her eyes. She brushed it away, gaining a little composure. Harry gave her an incredulous look. “I’m pretty sure I told you I’ve got a place in Brooklyn.”
“Oh, right,” she said, an odd expression flashed for a second on her face. “You’re here much?” she nodded to the books. “Odd place to study, a bar.”
Harry smiled. “Yeah. It’s quiet on weekdays, and Mick—the bartender—he likes me.”
“Can I?” she gestured to the seat.
“Yeah, sure.” He smiled again. “So, what brings Flora Sterling to this humble abode?”
“Shhhh,” Flora leaned over to cover his mouth. “Don’t say my name.”
Harry gripped her wrist, setting his mouth free. “Why?”
“I don’t want people to know I’m here,” she whispered.
Harry laughed. “Do you think people care?”
“You’re right,” she huffed a breath, leaned back. “I just… I don’t want to go home tonight.”
Harry studied her face. There was something, something about how she slumped back in defeat, something about her tired eyes. Something about her just screamed vulnerable. What was a rich girl like her doing, running away to a quiet bar in Brooklyn? He wondered. He shook his head and asked her, “Do you want some coffee? My place is just round the corner.”
“Coffee?” she looked a bit baffled, like an invitation to have some coffee was alien to her. Surely it wasn’t? Harry was about to withdraw the offer when she stopped chewing her lip, considering the offer. “Yes, I think I’d like some coffee.”
Harry put his books in his bag. “Come on then.”
Suzanne – Leonard Cohen
“You can hear the boats go by,
You can spend the night beside her
And you know she’s half crazy,
But that’s why you wanna be there…”
“Your place is nice.”
“Thanks,” Harry replied, pouring some coffee to his trusty mug. “Here,” he set the mug gently on the table.
“What were you doing there?” he asked, sitting down. Flora shrugged. “I was looking for a friend, he didn’t show up.”
“What friend?” he asked again, then catching himself. “Sorry. You don’t have to answer that.”
“Billy. Billy Trenton,” she answered anyway.
“Wait, I know Billy,” he frowned. He didn’t really know Billy, but he knew of him. He knew his reputation. He knew there’s only one thing people would see Billy Trenton for. His friend Cal got his goods from Billy Trenton. Harry remembered him turning up in a party to drop some things.
He really did drop things, Harry supposed.
“Were you..?” he trailed off.
“Was I what?” she tilted her head, waiting for Harry to finish his question.
“Never mind,” he decided. He shook his head. It wasn’t his business, what Flora was doing with the likes of Billy Trenton. He could guess, but it wasn’t his business, was it? They only met three times.
“Are you a student?” she asked him, eyeing his bookshelf.
Harry nodded. “Yeah. Columbia. I’m doing my master. Architecture,” he paused. “I told you this.”
“Oh you did? I… I must’ve forgotten,” she said. “Sorry.” She sounded strangely upset, like she was mentally beating herself up for not remembering. There was that odd expression again, flashing for a second before it died. “That explains that,” Harry was just about to change the subject when she abruptly pointed a finger to his drawing table. “Do you draw anything besides your school work?”
“Some sketches, actually,” Harry nodded to the board behind her. “Those are a few.”
She turned to examine the sketches. “They’re beautiful…”
“Thank you.”
“Can I stay here? Just for the night?” Flora inquired suddenly. Her blue eyes were staring right at Harry’s unwaveringly.
“Why not?” Harry shrugged. “But, I, erm, I only have one room and one bed.”
“It’s fine,” she smiled, cupping the mug with both hands. “We can share.”
“You do realize we’ve only met three times and we know fuck all about each other right?” Harry asked, a frown forming between his eyebrows.
“It’s fine by me, Harry,” she assured him. “Or do you want to..?” she trailed off, blushing.
“No, oh my god, no,” Harry panicked. “I will never do that. I’ll just, erm, I’ll sleep first.”
“You’re so cute,” she giggled. “I’m sorry for being such a bother.”
“No, it’s fine,” Harry muttered. “I’ll go sleep. You… do whatever.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
I Will Follow You Into The Dark – Death Cab for Cutie
“If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied,
Illuminate them on their vacancy signs
If there’s no one beside you when your soul embarks,
Then I’ll follow you into the dark…”
“Harry? Are you asleep?”
“Flora? What,” Harry rubbed his face. She was hovering over him. He sat up, glancing to the clock on his nightstand. 3 AM. “What’s the matter? Do you need anything?”
“I’ll go now,” her voice was just a touch of whisper.
“What? It’s late.”
“I know. Something… Something came up,” she said vaguely.
Harry gingerly brushed away some stray hair on her forehead. “Are you okay?” he asked quietly. “What happened?”
“Just… I have to go,” she insisted. “Arthur is picking me up. My chauffeur.”
“He is? Does he know my address?” asked Harry, confused.
“He dropped me off near your bar earlier. Can you walk me there? I’m sorry,” her voice cracked.
“Hey, hey,” Harry reached her shoulder, alarm and concern flashing in his eyes. “It’s okay, I’ll walk you there.”
Flora nodded, casting her eyes on the floor. Harry got up, tucked himself into a pair of jeans and a coat. “Must be cold outside,” he said. He produced his warmest jacket from his wardrobe, draping it on Flora’s shoulder.
“Come on.”
The cold air hit them like a truck.
“Are you still cold in there? Do you need more layers?” Harry gestured to his jacket.
“Why are you so nice to me?” she questioned suddenly. “Like you said, we know fuck all about each other.”
“I don’t know,” he said carefully. “Do I need a reason? Maybe it’s just a product from my mum’s great parenting,” he tried to joke.
She didn’t laugh.
“Wouldn’t know,” she murmured.
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Nothing,“ she let out a heavy breath. “Oh, there’s Arthur.”
Did he dare asking her out? Or merely ask for her number? They did not know each other, after all. But that’s the thing. Harry wanted to. He didn’t want to keep thinking of her as this elusive mythical creature who only lived inside of his mind. She was not it. She was a real person, who got lost because she never had to learn her way around, who hated the cold even though she was born and raised in New York, who went to the Met every day, who ran away to Brooklyn because she didn’t want to go home. Who blushed when she asked him to walk her home and kissed his cheek. Harry wanted to know this person.
He had a split second to decide.
“Flora?” How the hell was he gonna do it? Just ask?
“Harry?” Her stare was so unnerving. Harry felt himself squirming under her gaze.
“Um, wouldyaliketogooutsumtime?” Crap. What was he saying?
“What?” she frowned. “What did you say?”
“Uhhhhh,” Harry rubbed the nape of his neck. “Can I see you again?”
“I wasn’t kidding when I told you I go to the Met almost every day,” she smiled softly. “All you have to do is just go there when it opens and you’ll find me there. But yeah, with one condition.”
“Of course?” I’m gonna have to sign an NDA, he thought.
“Can I come around sometime? To your place?” she looked at him straight to the eye. Her eyes, blue and expectant, met Harry’s green ones.
A smile formed, curving his lips. “Yeah, if you like.”
“Would you like, Harry?” she questioned, her eyes doubtful.
“Yes. Yes, I’d like it very much,”
When she smiled back at him, her eyes were sparkling. So Harry leaned in and kissed her there.
He held his breath, and tested his luck by brushing his lips on hers. He let out a quiet, relieved sigh when she responded, giving in to the kiss and then some more. She deepened the kiss, hands snaking their way onto his back. He gingerly touched her soft dark hair, smoothened the back of her head.
When he finally pulled away, smiling, she touched her thumb softly to the corner of his mouth. There was some colour rising on her cheeks, and her lips were swollen in a pretty I’ve-just-been-kissed way.
Slowly, a smile crept up, curving the corner of her lips.
It took his breath away.
Still smiling, she touched her lips to his cheek. “I’ll see you.”
“I’ll see you.”
I guess it’s true what they said, he thought while watching her car drive away.
