The Jola Moon (A Rexsoka FanFic) - Chapter 14: MEHT DU MEHT
Summary: Ahsoka's journey into the Temple of the Mother reveals more than she expected.
Warnings: None. (The smut will return soon, friends. Let this plot edge you in the meantime.)
Click to READ on AO3
A/N: Canon disclaimer JUST GO WITH IT XD. Translations at the end.
LUV 2 ALL THE CREW IN THE SHEBBY DEBBIES DISCORD: THIRSTY GOOD GIRL HOURS ARE 24/7- Love you so much!
Chapter 14: MEHT DU MEHT
Ahsoka's feet were careful and steady. The air in the cave gave her skin a chill that crawled up her spine and caused her to shudder. Soon the shivers turned into an anxious warmth pitted in her chest. The swift temperature change was a strange warning to expect the unexpected with the task ahead of her.
As she cautiously descended the broad stone steps, she tried her best to observe the construction of this so-called ancient temple. The impressive cavernous space seemed to have an endless winding descent and gave no clues as to where it would conclude.
No grand architectural design informed her who or what had made this place. The steps were uneven in certain stretches and could either be small cliffs to hop down or a slick ramp with no forgiveness for the uncoordinated.
Ahsoka looked for intricately detailed carvings along the pathway but only saw naturally formed veins, cracks, and splits that were no doubt created by the weathering of time.
The stone walls and uneven ceiling were not painted, gilded, or marked in any decorative way by sentient hands. Eyeing the captivating patterns of discoloration along the walls, she concluded it was simply the combination of existing elements responsible for the composite layers of red, orange, yellow, and grey.
Ahsoka took measured breaths to focus and allow the Force to communicate the unseen energy of her surroundings.
It was unusual for her to be moving at such a calculated pace.
When commanding the 501st, she had never wanted to seem timid or afraid. Throughout the war, Ahsoka was usually the first to fearlessly head into unknown and possibly dangerous places. Anakin had been the only person that would lead before her: assuming Skywalker could rein her in to follow behind him, that is. They certainly shared the common trait of scoffing at the nerve of danger for even trying to intimidate them.
Something in her was now more mindful and patient in her strategic approach.
She thought of Obi-Wan. She felt no dread or sense of loss when she reached out to the Force to sense for Master Kenobi.
Instead, she was shocked when she registered his presence in the Force. He was alive.
Could he—Could he have escaped? If he was with Commander Cody? That would mean—oh no.
Ahsoka was reminded again of Rex's DC-17s pointed at her and the choice she had to make at that moment. In half a breath, she had to evade certain death, find out what was happening and what she could do to save Rex.
Escaping alone was not an option she had even considered.
And even though she now knew about the inhibitor chips and Darth Sidious's full scheme, she had to ask herself,
What did Obi-Wan know?
They'd last spoken via comm amid the siege mission on Mandalore. Obi-Wan had only told her about Anakin's surveillance assignment as ordered by the Jedi Council.
Their last words exchanged were proof of the familial bond that they shared,
"When you see Anakin, tell him—"
"—I will."
Then, as if she accidentally stumbled on an unseen door, she connected with Obi-Wan's presence in the Force. She stopped for a moment. Realizing that Morai would not wait, Ahsoka attempted to continue walking down the path as she simultaneously explored her unexpected connection to Obi-Wan's signature.
When she concentrated further on the connection, she sensed sadness and defeat deep within him. That was new and very unlike Kenobi. She could tell he was cradling these emotions in his heart, soothing them to be at peace. He was focused and determined to remain unbothered, but she chose to reach out anyway.
Master? You're alive?
Master Kenobi, I don't know where you are?
I can sense you, even though I'm not sure how.
Ahsoka waited for a response.
Obi-Wan, can you sense me?
Her earlier encounter with Qui-Gon's spirit had done much more than prepare her for entering the Temple of The Mother. It seemed to bridge a lost connection between her Master and Padawan lineage. The power of Splendor allowed Ahsoka to strengthen her awareness of her former master's master in the Force.
Obi-Wan, I know you can hear me. Your Master, Qui-Gon Jin, visited me. His spirit lives in the Force, and he somehow spoke to me. Please, I know you're there...
Then, beginning at a whisper in her mind, Kenobi's presence was connected to hers in the Force,
Ahsoka? It…it is you.
I sense…that you are…you are safe.
Master! Yes. I'm safe.
Rex and I both escaped.
Rex? You—?
I see. Good.
I'm— I'm glad to hear it.
We're alright for now.
I was able to remove Rex's inhibitor chip.
The rest of our legion…I couldn't…
Inhibitor chip? Yes.
Then Order 66 was connected.
The ARC Trooper, Fives…
Ahsoka realized Kenobi had not yet figured out why the clones had turned on them until this moment. The regret in Kenobi's emotions was heavy, painful even.
He was an excellent soldier.
And we didn't listen to him.
Master, where are you?
Rex and I will come and find you.
No.
Be where you are, my friend.
You must not try to find me.
For our safety…and for theirs.
Theirs? I don't understand.
Whose safety?
Ahsoka. I'm sorry.
For all of it, everything.
We failed before.
We cannot this time.
Obi-Wan, please. Rex and I will find you
I think Master Yoda—
No. No, Ahsoka. It's over.
His voice was firm. The tone of authority he rarely used with her but regularly used with Anakin added an extra tinge of pain in her heart.
We must stay apart.
Our paths must never meet. Even like this…in the Force.
You have found your way on your own before.
You must do so again.
But I'm not alone, though—
—I know. I sense the love in your heart.
And…
I am glad for you both.
Truly. I knew that feeling once, Ahsoka.
It was...extraordinary at the time...so long ago.
Master Kenobi? You…
You haven't mentioned Anakin…
She felt Obi-Wan's hesitation. The initial reluctance and despair. She knew what was coming.
Anakin.
He is gone, Ahsoka. Anakin is gone.
No! No, no, no…
She choked on the words with a fierce denial, her gut twisting in pain at the mention of his name, and the burning sensations began coursing through her whole body just as they did before.
Master, I sensed him before Order 66.
Then the loss of the other Jedi was all I could feel.
Tell me what happened.
How do you know?
At the Temple, Anakin…he—
Ahsoka, I tried. Please know I tried.
I know he's gone because…I watched him die.
Ahsoka felt all the air leave her chest and what took its place was a paralyzing agony. The reality that Anakin was gone was one she had to accept. Of all the death and loss from order 66, Anakin's death never felt…possible. She knew what she sensed in the moments before Sidious's order activated the clones' inhibitor chips. Still, after that moment, it had been impossible to be sure.
She stopped in her tracks. She could not physically move one more step. Bracing her hand against the cold, damp stone walls of the cave's tunneled path, Ahsoka willed herself to continue standing upright and not collapse. Her other hand massaged her forehead as she struggled to maintain her connection to Kenobi.
Her heart was already broken with grief when her next thought shattered the pieces to dust,
"I'll have to tell Rex," she spoke out loud.
By now, Morai had stopped her flight and hovered for a moment. She then turned back and carefully perched on Ahsoka's shoulder. The gentle squeeze of Morai's paws on her shoulder caused Ahsoka's concentration to break.
We must continue.
"Morai, I don't think I can."
Either now or later, you will move on. It is the only way to grieve your loss. You must continue.
Ahsoka held her stance, unable to move. Her stubbornness wasn't intentional; she honestly did not know how to move on from the devastating information Kenobi had just given to her.
"He's gone," the revelation only fully sunk in when she heard herself say the words out loud.
Right now, she did not even have the will to fight the feelings causing her to cry shamelessly and be furious at herself for sobbing like this. Frustration and helplessness were not emotions that Ahsoka sat in for any length of time. Her Jedi training had taught her to search her feelings but always be stronger than such emotions.
But this? This was too much to bear.
"He's gone. And…I have no sense of anything connected to Anakin. How could I have not felt this? Why didn't I sense his death?!"
If she took one more step, as Morai had told her, she felt she would deny the grief owed to Anakin's death. If she stayed still in the sorrow or, worse instead, retreated from the task ahead of her, she would be submitting to the suffering that inevitably always comes with attachments, with love. She had chosen to move on and walked away from Anakin before. This time it did not feel like her choice, and she understood that is where the pain was rooted. To have power and still be powerless.
And then Kenobi connected with her one last time,
You came to be the best of us, Ahsoka.
You are much more than a Jedi.
Master? Obi-Wan, don't leave.
You, of all people, should understand
that one would need some time alone.
And it appears your time away helped
you see things...more clearly.
I understand.
May the Force be with you, Ahsoka Tano.
Always.
Then he was gone.
Obi-Wan and Anakin had been part of the closest thing to family that she had known.
But now, Skywalker was gone forever with a simple statement, and Kenobi had just shut her (or the galaxy out.) In her heart, she felt the pain of a gate closed, a vault locked, and the hollow remainder of empty blank nothing.
Shall we continue? The Mother awaits…
Morai's words cleared her mind again, and Ahsoka gauged where she stood.
Maybe she had no sense of what had happened to Anakin, but she did have the legacy of his training. He would want her to move on.
This is how she would mourn Anakin Skywalker right now. She would move on and return to Rex after her task. She did not have to grieve alone. Neither should Rex.
So she allowed the emptiness, the present void of Anakin Skywalker, to be filled with the knowledge and experience he had given her as his padawan learner.
The quiet and solitude soon became so clear it resulted in a powerful attunement. Her connection to the Force strengthened as it radiated in her blood. Ahsoka registered the physical manifestation. Her skin felt like it was glowing, but it was not. Her heart's rhythm felt more robust, but it was steady. She heard the energy blend and move within her breaths, in and out.
Something powerful was happening to her down here.
As she continued to descend, she felt as though she was inside a place of protection. She was connected to this place but did not feel confined by her surroundings. Her strength could grow, and the power of the Force would grow around her like a womb.
This was like no other temple she had ever encountered.
The distinct rhythm of her boots' steady gait echoed through the eerie silence. The only other sounds were the flapping of Morai's wings and the subtle drops of condensation falling from the cavernous ceiling.
Morai's body gave off a soft green glow that emanated enough light for Ahsoka to navigate the few meters ahead. From the subtle green glow, she noticed the stone was porous, almost poxed from a worn, forgotten existence.
There was a smell, not unpleasant, but certainly not floral or sweet. Instead, it smelled of the sea, much like the scent of salt that lingers on skin and clothing after being near the ocean.
The ocean...
Her memories reached back to the Battle of Mon Cala. She faced those moments of danger and adversity alongside Prince (now King) Lee-Char. Her mind was recalling the experience of fighting a battle underwater. It wasn't long ago, yet it seemed like her experience acting as a military advisor to the young Prince belonged to someone else. Was that really her? Thousands of meters below the surface fighting off Quarren enemies and Separatists alike.
As a Jedi Padawan, Ahsoka had been willing to do whatever the Jedi council asked of her and more. Many times, the Jedi Masters spoke to her as though she was too naive, too confident, too sure of herself. But if that were the case, why had she always been determined to prove her worth as a Jedi? Had she not been good enough, or was she simply too much?
Morai suddenly turned her flight around and headed back towards Ahsoka. She was practically flying head-on towards her.
"Hey! Wha-what are you doing?!" Ahsoka exclaimed.
"If you would like to go back and dwell in your past, we can turn around now," Morai’s commanded. Her stern tone contrasted with the innocent blank expression of the small bird.
"That's not fair, Morai. You know, I should be allowed my own thoughts. I can't help if my mind wanders while we head down this never-ending cave."
"You can help it! You must stay focused on what is ahead. Getting to your destination is sometimes the greatest lesson you will learn."
"I can't see anything. And I am trusting the Force. Usually, I would have a lightsaber, at least in places like this. Or I could prepare and bring something to light the path.
Morai huffed in response and turned back to keep going forward.
"The Jedi may have given you some training but not all of the wisdom of the Force. Your senses, especially as a Togruta, allow you to navigate where you are going without reliance on outside tools or tricks of technology."
"I understand,” Ashoka replied, “the lesson here is: when my mind only focuses on the past, I cannot move forward."
"Yes, but why? You must acknowledge where you are. How brief and small each step is, and likely, you may never take these steps again.” Morai’s voice grew distant as the bird flew ahead of her but still continued.
Ahsoka moved to keep up with her guide and not miss another word.
“Be aware of where you are, Ahsoka Tano…and beware of thoughts that return you to shadows of a past behind you. In those shadows, darkness exists because you are the one who blocks out the light."
Ahsoka understood. It was a simple concept, child's play, really. Yet, as she got older, what was wrong or right became more complicated. Before the tragedy, the living nightmare that was Order 66 and their escape from The Tribunal resulted in giving her these few days on Jola with Rex. Without such a loss, she never could have gained the impossible occurrence of her and Rex bound in love and partnership.
There is always light in the darkness.
Without realizing it, she had reached the final steps. A glow emanated from behind the walls of the tunneled path into another chamber. Morai had flown ahead, and now Ahsoka followed the glow of whatever light was reaching down this far.
As she entered the largest chamber of the cavern, the breathtaking view of a natural opening in the rock ceiling above allowed a powerful beam of light from the Jola Star to fill the grand space.
In the center, Ahsoka saw an altar (if one could call it that.) Above a large clearing was a canopy of giant ribbon vines that were as thin as sheer fabric. There were no trusses, beams, or ropes holding up the vines of the canopy. Eternally suspended in the air by the Force, the simple but impressive natural decoration made it clear that some Force presence was here. The colors of the vines blended and bled in rhythmic patterns, creating a kaleidoscope effect over the altar's centerpiece: a large, empty dirt and stone platform that served as a kind of pedestal.
The platform, if one could call it even that, wasn't very tall, barely two meters high. Ahsoka stood watching the colors weave and dance to an unknown rhythm as she patiently tempered her usual precocious curiosity. She looked to Morai to confirm this was their final destination and found no response. Instead, Morai had perched herself atop a small alcove carved in the stone wall. The little green guide seemed to pass the time by preening her soft green and white feathers.
"I'm guessing we are here?"
Morai looked up briefly to acknowledge she heard but said nothing and resumed her activity.
"Well, then. Here is as good a place to meditate as any. And with all that I learned, I might as well make use of the time."
Ahsoka lowered herself to her kneeling position for meditation. She took one cleansing breath, eyes open. Then one more, eyes closed. She then squinted an eye to peek at Morai, who seemed determined to continue ignoring Ahsoka as they waited.
"You know, Morai, I'm thinking one reason you can't tell me who made this place…."
Morai then stopped her preening. Her little squat body perked up when her eyes darted overlook at Ahsoka, now grinning with eyes closed.
"...is because you don't actually know either."
The little convor's body huffed at the assumption as the feathers of its flapping wings ruffled. Ahsoka did not need to see the small temper tantrum to know it must have looked adorable. She gave a small chuckle at the feeling of Morai's indignation.
"So, it's true. You need me here as much as I need you. A guide with no one to guide is—"
"—wandering. Alone."
Morai completed the statement with a serious tone. Ahsoka understood the message. The entirety of her connection with the Force spirit gave its life to preserve hers.
"You've been waiting for me? But everything that's happened, with the Order, Trace and Rafa, Mandalore? What if I had never come here with Rex?" Ahsoka asked.
"But these things did happen. You have survived. You are here. You must look forward, Ahsoka Tano. I have waited in the world between the worlds, in the realm between the Living and Cosmic Force. I knew not when you would arrive nor how, but you were destined to be here."
Ahsoka processed all the seemingly random choices and decisions that had led her to this moment.
"Then that means? Our journeys are connected."
Ahsoka felt a slight pulsing in the Force. This was a new feeling. The sensation started small, a slight vibration at the base of her montrals. It began to travel quickly, and the pulsing continued to build to an impressive and intimidating rhythm. She held her kneeling position, her focus allowing the new sensation of the Force to build within her.
She then felt the ground beneath her shift and move with the Force. Like when she flew the Y-wing, Ahsoka had to resist opening her eyes to see what was happening. She didn't need to see with her eyes. She needed to feel deep within her connection to the Force. There was the growing pulse of energy, followed by an ominous rumbling, the sounds of cracks and rocks splitting the dirt open.
She maintained her focus in her meditative state, waiting for the arrival of whatever was buried further down in the moon's core.
"Ahsoka. Och ki mi sa och"
That was Togruti, her mother tongue. Ahsoka recited the words to herself to recall the meaning,
"Och ki mi sa och," the voice repeated.
“See…that which I cannot see?”
"Ahsoka e' Jedi…."
The haunting sound echoed as Ahsoka felt the well of emotions overflow and spill out onto the stone and dirt ground. These weren't just tears of sadness; she was experiencing the full sobs of loss, a mother's sacrifice of letting go. Her mother's gift of letting her go.
The voice called out again.
"…a Jedi…"
This anguish was similar to her loss as each Jedi was struck down and plagued the Force with dread and dark despair. Somehow this was a sharper pain. The specific knowledge of knowing your child will not know your love, will forget your face, and one day, have no idea how much you meant to them.
A loss that leads to a greater purpose: Sacrifice.
"…e' Jedi…"
"Stop!" Ahsoka muttered through clenched teeth. Her sadness and sobs swirled and dazed her concentration.
Ahsoka's uneasy regret over leaving the Jedi Order brought about immense guilt. She had kept these emotions hidden, convincing herself she had made the right choice. Only here on Splendor, and only to Rex, had she finally revealed her lonely convictions regarding walking away from the only life she had ever known. And even then, she wasn't sure he would ever really understand.
She had to face yet another difficult admission:
All that her mother sacrificed by letting her go, in the end, was for naught,
"I am no Jedi," she choked on the words that came out barely audible.
"…Ahsoka e' Jedi…."
She broke her concentration and threw back her head, letting the tears fall from her eyes that were shut tight. Ahsoka finally let out a wail of emotion,
"I AM NO LONGER A JEDI!"
Ahsoka fell forward with grief, collapsing over her meditative kneeling position. Again, she found herself in the same position she had been in as she cried in front of Rex in the hangar. She may have been upset about R7, but those tears were not about leaving her beloved droid behind. Like Rex, Ahsoka was capable of hiding from emotions that were just too difficult to face. The sadness, exhaustion, and frustration from trying to make everything right and good took their toll. She now whimpered into the ground,
"I'm...no longer a Jedi,” her lips were quivering out the confession.
The temperature in the cave snapped to a freezing cold when the next voice, different from the one that spoke before.
"The Jedi are no longer," claimed the wicked voice, shrill and venomous as it cackled with perverse joy.
Ahsoka gasped as the chill ran down her spine, and her muscles tensed to tremors. She wanted to block it out and run. Fear settled in her chest, heavy as sand, then a dizzying barrage of familiar voices swirled in her mind.
"I will not take the blame for something I didn't do!"
"Do not try to fly around them…."
"You're reckless, little one…The Jedi Order is your life! "I understand wanting to walk away…."
"C'mon, Tano!…you got this, Ahsoka."
"Leave everything else behind while we still can!"
"I'm here, okay? I'm right here with you. I'm not going anywhere."
"There is good in him…."
"When I look at you, who you are, Ahsoka Tano,
I know it exists."
"I am suggesting that perhaps if you have trained her well,
she shall take care of herself. And find a way back to you."
"Even if you have to leave me …again."
She thought she recognized the voices of Anakin and Padme. Maybe Master Plo? Still, she could not make sense of some of what they were saying. But of all of them, Rex's voice was clear and reassuring, reminding her who she is today. And that his love for her and her equal love for him is part of her now.
She sat in heavy silence. Only the sound of her breathing filled the space.
Until she heard the voice that spoke in Togruti repeat the words again,
"Och ki mi sa och."
Ahsoka nodded. She understood what it meant, even though she never had the chance to learn her mother tongue,
"See what you cannot see."
Ahsoka opened her eyes to the warmth and comfort of the voice. Her head tilted curiously when she saw a tiny sprout burst through the ground. She paused her breathing without realizing it, and the growth stopped. She then again inhaled and exhaled.
It grew.
She breathed again. Inhale. Exhale.
Taller now, the sprout was widening, forcing its way through the stone pedestal, climbing taller, branching, and reaching as it continued to grow.
Ahsoka made sure to allow her breathing to steady. Her mind cleared away memories and past moments. She focused on what was growing right in front of her.
Now the mystical emergence of the fully grown and massive tree dominated as the central focus in the cave. The wood pulsing with life from the Force that had instantaneously achieved the impossible by accelerating the life cycle right before her eyes.
This was no mirage. Ahsoka's senses were heightened as she knelt before the tree. Her montrals registered each creek and gnarled twist and stretch as the branches reached toward the light, air, and nourishment. The tree's bark wafted through the air, a scent that triggered Ahsoka's memory, unearthing something she believed was lost to time.
The smell of home. The scent of her mother.
Though the memory may have been small and faint, its effect was compelling. Ahsoka narrowed her concentration, allowing the combination of sense and memory to be at the forefront of her mind. The other worries and thoughts in her mind were now subdued. They bowed in this new memory's presence, giving deference and biddability to the long-lost treasure.
She inhaled the smell of weeping jasmine, teroli spice, and endless fields of turu grass,
"Meht."
The word had been her first. And though she had not spoken it in almost fifteen years, it easily came to her as though no time had passed. Mother.
With her eyes closed to enhance her sense-memory, Ahsoka recalled the hazy memory. It was her point of view while comfortably pressed against the warmth of her mother's chest, wrapped in the carrier for one of their walks. Ahsoka's mother, Pav-Ti Tano, would talk and sing to her. Pav-Ti's heartbeat and sweet softness soothed Ahsoka when her mother's voice vibrations hummed in her montrals.
When she was ready, Ahsoka opened her eyes to a shocking sight. The now enormous tree crowded the cavern's once empty space. The suspended display of vines that seemed to float without purpose now naturally decorated the imposing structure. The branches had wound themselves through the colorful, sheer tendrils and tangles easily as though they had been waiting to be intertwined all along. The changing colors were more vibrant, glowing, and reflecting color off the dark wood.
Ahsoka found herself mesmerized by the puzzling result of this entangled dance of wood and vine. As she looked across the broad and truly impressive display, her eyes caught the significant reveal at the base of the trunk.
In a moment, her breath seized.
Of all the wonders and oddities Ahsoka had seen in the galaxy, she had never seen something that struck her with awe so suddenly that her eyes teared up.
The roots and base of the trunk had contorted to form a grand throne of gnarled wood. There, in the seat of the enormous throne, was an equally enormous Marg Sable flower. A flower only found on Shili. The revered flower was used in ceremonies and medicines and was considered sacred to the Togrutan culture.
The teardrop-shaped petals' red and purple blended colors were highlighted with orange and yellow markings. The signatures of marg sables repeated on each petal, but no two flowers' designs were alike. Togrutans believed their species was the gift of life given by the marg sable flower. Essentially, their living flesh was made whole by the Great Gardeners, the gods, Yau and Boshk, of Life and Growth. Her memories of reading about the ancient tales late one night with Master Jocasta also reminded her of another Togrutan belief concerning the marg sable.
Because a marg sable could not be grown outside of Shili, not even on Kiros, the Togruta believed only misfortune came for those Togrutans who left their home planet.
“And yet, here we both are, my little one. Du tazi unt. Du tunguma’s tunguma.”
A voice from the flower spoke. A soft, calming female voice simultaneously filled Ahsoka's mind and the cave's empty space. She quickly wiped the tears that had formed in the corners of her eyes to be sure she was awake, sane, present, anything to be sure she was not dreaming.
"Du tun—? Tungama means… I don't remember…," Ahsoka confessed.
"Daughter. Du tunguma's tunguma. You are my daughter's daughter," the voice replied.
The words were expressed by a glow emanating from the marked petals of the regal flower before her. Ahsoka choked at the realization that this was the voice of—"
"Zi-Shika Tano. I am your grandmother. All these years, from afar, I have sensed your growth in the Force, your training, your courage, and your resolve. You have led a dangerous and full life, tazi unt, and I have always been proud to know you were of my line."
Ahsoka's reaction was silent with the loudest of thoughts clamoring in her mind.
Where does she even begin?
She never knew her mother, let alone her grandmother. There was an entire history of herself that she had lived without, and initially, not by her choice. She certainly never dwelt on such lost ancestry if she was honest with herself. That was not the Jedi way. The Jedi had been her family…until they weren't.
"I am an unexpected presence. You have come to seek your tasks and learn of The Mother."
Zi-Shika's statement reminded Ahsoka's present: where she was, why she was here, and what she was meant to do next had more importance than lost history. Still, she could not help the sentimental streak of curiosity.
"Meht du meht, how are you speaking to me, Zi-Shika? The flower, a marg sable? They cannot grow anywhere except Shili. And you…you can—or could wield the Force?"
"My spirit lives eternally in the Force. The Jedi long avoided the practice. But I am no Jedi. From a young age, I hid my abilities to remain with our people. On Shili, I had heard tales and seen others being taken away. They left our planet, usually never to be seen again. That was not an option for me. So I masked my power of healing with our medicines and rituals. I listened to the Force in deep meditation, learned what I could on my own."
"But without the Jedi to train you?" Ahsoka asked.
"Train me for what purpose? To what end, child? I did not need to be trained with weapons, a saber, acrobatics, or to take on the political burdens of entire systems. I belonged here. Mindfulness was a power that allowed me to maintain my connection. And so, I lived my life on Shili like any other Togruta. The most challenging was my sense of foresight. You have this gift, too, I know. Weakened though. Your need to respond immediately to such visions clouds their meaning. I found that I should keep my visions to myself. Unless someone asked, I would not say what I knew. As you know, visions can sometimes be unclear or misleading. Many times, my visions were of things I did not understand. Beings I had never met. But the most important vision I had was when I was a young girl, to young even to take a warrior. Just a small child. I had a vision of you."
"Me?"
"Yes. You were leaning over a man, a man with millions of souls. Your heart was open and focused. Your well-being was in danger but safe and secure. But your connection to the Force? It was truly powerful and strong. The scene around you was crashing, burning, filled with violence. Yet, you were calm with devotion, care, and love. The Force flowed so freely between you two. You summoned, he returned. You were one with the Force. Truly one. Then my vision was you chasing clouds. Running water. Then…freedom. Yes, hmmm, it was freedom. A light in the darkest of nights. An exhausting and long night that would overtake the galaxy."
Ahsoka's eyes were tearing up again. Never in her life as a Jedi had she allowed herself the broad freedom to just…cry. Small sentimental tears, heaving sobs of grief? These were things Ahsoka rarely allowed herself to experience without limit. Her Jedi training did not forbid such expressions. Instead, she was always instructed to acknowledge such feelings and burdens that can cloud judgment. Now, crying in this temple, she wasn't sure if she was confessing or declaring. She just knew it felt right to let her tears flow.
"I am sorry that I never knew you. That I know nothing of my mother. I-I— This was not at all what I expected to find."
"You expected another mission? Direct orders? Answers to solve the problem and save the galaxy?"
"That's all I have ever known. Without that life, I felt lost and—"
"Invisible. Unknown."
"Yes."
"And with your Captain, this young man who you have taken as your warrior? Do you feel unknown and invisible?"
"No. Not at all. The complete opposite actually."
Ahsoka was taken aback. Not only by the revelation that when Rex looked at her, he saw all of her. He respected, adored, and loved her—even before they had become more than friends.
"You see, tazi unt. I did not know which of my daughters would bear this special child in my vision. But I knew I needed to be here. I could not leave. The Jedi would not have me the older I aged anyway," her gentle voice grew weary at the next revelation, "By the time I had that significant vision of you, I was hiding my abilities from every Togruta I knew, even my own family,"
Ahsoka had remained in her meditative position even though it no longer felt like she was in deep meditation. Hearing the change in Zi-Shika's voice, she realized the conversation with her grandmother's voice flowed easily, as though they had always known each other.
Ahsoka decided to stand up and approach the seat of the great flower. Perhaps as an instinct to give comfort, though she had no idea how to comfort a flower, its mysterious voice, or Force spirit.
"I know that Togruta never truly accepted those born with Force sensitivity. The few conversations I had with Master Shaak Ti made that very clear. The idea of an individual with powers stronger than an entire clan united was dangerous."
Ahsoka was now seated on a root that laid just below where the marg sable remained. There in the colored light that basked from the cave's opening, she looked to the source of her grandmother's voice. Like a wide-eyed child fixated in awe at the loving adult who enraptured their attention, Ahsoka even allowed herself to lean her montrals into the tree for comfort.
"Yes. Shaak Ti's departure was an especially sad time. Her mother died giving birth to her. They had been a prominent clan, but with only four warriors and few children. Their grief and shock were quite painful to all. Grief is unavoidable and takes many forms when it arrives. Shaak Ti had been a lonely child from the beginning and was put in the care of other clans, even ours. By the time she was barely a year old, it was impossible to not notice her abilities."
"Shaak Ti was a revered Jedi Master and General, but she would have spells of melancholy. Master Jocasta once told me these spells worsened after she returned from a diplomatic visit to Shili."
"Yes, she thought if she could complete an Aruk hunt and show the elders that Togruta Jedi were just like other Togruta. She hoped to change ancient cultural reservations regarding those of us who are Force-sensitive. Our world and the Togruta ways are as old as the Jedi. Not as violently stubborn as, say, the Mandalorians, of course, but stubborn in the protectiveness of our people and community."
"I had wondered if Rex and I should leave here and perhaps go to Shili, perhaps they would help hide us. But, I'm guessing that plan won't work."
"Your Captain Rex, clone or not, as a human, he would never be accepted by Togruta men. And now, as you are eighteen, many years past your initial warrior binding days—"
Ahsoka quickly stood up. The shock of realization hit her.
"Eighteen? Did I? I-I-missed my Life Day again?"
She didn't know why, whether it was appropriate or not, but some wild instinct in her climbed the tree and settled on a lower branch. Her energy was restless again when she realized she had lost track of days, weeks, months, and another year of life. Again.
The day of a Jedi's birth and aging was more for calculations than celebrations. Records needed to be accurate with so many different species born from various systems living at the Jedi Temple.
"I missed it last year because of everything that happened with the bombing, the trial and the Jedi Council. And now I've missed it again! I just hadn't even thought of it when Bo Katan and I were trying to— oh. My birthday was…,"
Ahsoka gasped as a chill ran down her spine when she recalled,
"The last time I saw him was before the 332nd departed for Mandalore."
Anakin.
My lightsabers were my Life Day gift.
She let the tears well up and flow freely as she curled herself to lean against the tree.
It was Anakin who told her about his Life Day celebrations on Tatooine. How his mother would make a special meal with what they had and some small present (usually a junk set of parts or rusted tools) for him. He thought his mother was just trying to make him feel better in their situation. And he would do his best to do the same for her on her Life Day. His meals were terrible, his gifts even worse. But seeing her smile was worth the effort. He said he never forgot his birthday or hers. Skywalker never forgot his mother.
Ahsoka remembered the strong, conflicted emotions in his Force presence when he told her these things. She could not tell if it was anger or love when Skywalker spoke of his mother. She only remembered looking at him with compassion as he told her his mother made sure to tell him every year how special he was to her, and that she would always be proud of him because she was proud to be his mother.
The memory drifted in like a fog of vision.
When Anakin gave Ahsoka that first gift, a small jogan fruit cake he took from the kitchens, she laughed at his strange, kind gesture. She also saw how much it meant to him to share this ritual with someone. The celebration of one's life, beginning with their birth, and in some ways…a celebration of their mother. He never asked her if she remembered her mother. He already knew the answer.
"Your birth is worth celebrating, Ahsoka. I know you don't remember your ceremonies of life that were had on Shili," Zi-Shika's kind voice brought Ahsoka back from that day with Anakin in the Temple courtyard.
"No, I don't remember. I wish I did." Ahsoka now had her lean body lying along the branch. Her fingertips traced the grooved lines of time that had worn into the tree.
As the colored lights from the vines danced over the wood, Ahoska's faint memory of the feast and celebration of her mother's binding ceremony once again returned to her.
"Zi-Shika? I do remember some things. I remembered one of my mother's binding ceremonies. I was so little so I only remember being happy that everyone was…happy. But, I don't remember who my father was and if he even knew me.."
"Oh yes. Sa khos…your father. You were Pav-Ti's fifth born child with her first chosen warrior, Tavraas Dar."
“Tavraas…Dar. Tavraas Dar.”
Ashoka had hoped that something would come to mind by saying his name aloud.
Nothing.
She still had no memory of her father, only the faintest memories of her mother and siblings. The frustration she presently felt was new and troubling. Having had no reason to think of her family before, Ahsoka was allowing herself to acknowledge this significant missing piece of who she was. She may never reconnect with her family, even though the Jedi Order's well-intentioned policy of complete familial detachment was now gone.
She sat up on the sturdy branch, eased her body to stand, and climbed back down to the great flower's wooden throne.
Zi-Shika assured her, "I sense you feel as blank and confused as when I first greeted you here. Tell me your confusion, tazi unt.”
"It is strange to know that my mother and father, our whole family I have never known, are alive on Shili. And all this information about my past? I was told by another Force spirit and Morai to not dwell on what cannot be changed. Yet, all we have spoken about is my family history? What does this have to do with this moon, Splendor, the Jola star system, or The Mother?"
Ahsoka wished that she could actually see her grandmother the way Qui Gon Jin had appeared to her. She should have expected that none of this would be straightforward, but her patience was withering from the shock of so much information.
“Zi-Shika, meht du meht. Since I entered this cave— this temple…I have learned that I have no family. My Jedi master is gone, and those Jedis that remain are in hiding; our lives are in danger. Then I'm asked to reflect on the Togruta family I never knew. But I must learn to accept that they have always been part of me? Meht du meht, I honestly don’t think I can cry anymore today."
Ahsoka faced the seated flower. Not wanting to seem flippant, she still bowed her head with respect. She knew she was speaking with a weary and tired heart as she continued,
"I don't know if it's the Togruta part of me that longs to have a clan or tribe of my own or if it's because I was raised at the Jedi Temple, where what made me different gave me a sense of belonging, but I…I… don't know how to just…give up. I know that the Force exists on this moon in a way that I have never felt before, but I still don't know who or what is The Mother?"
"Tazi unt, you know I am not The Mother you seek. I am a channel of the Force. My physical body passed many years ago, tunguma du tunguma. My spirit comes to you as a voice to speak what you need to hear. My spirit is one with the Force, which lives in all things, including you. These things, you know, Ahsoka. I did not create this flower, this tree, or dirt. I did not create my being that was given to me to live as I chose. That was given to me by—"
"—your mother. Each mother gives a part of her life to bring in a new one. A part of them lives in all those descendants that come after."
"Simple, yes? But a more complicated question is why does the Force live in all things?"
"The Force is…a Mother? The Mother."
Ahsoka looked up at the flower, the tree that had grown rapidly before her eyes, and the cave around her with colored light and pulsing Force energy. She began to connect with what was around her. This was not a temple of worship, but this place was sacred. The being she was seeking had been part of her life all along. But today, she realized she stood at the point of origin of all life in the galaxy.
"Then...Splendor is not a moon. The Force came to being here. This place is the womb."
"Yes, and once it came into being, like any other child, it leaves the womb, grows in size and strength, gives and takes, finds and loses balance, creates, and destroys,” Zi-Shika replied.
Ahsoka then asked, "On Mortis, the Father spoke of this duality and balance. But I don't understand if this was the womb, why did they live on Mortis?”
"One must leave the womb to go live their life. The Mother made the being, the First Acolyte, called The Father, to balance all existence. The Son and Daughter were made to be the acolytes of each eternal opposing side, beginning with the darkness of nothing and the light of everything. They grew and evolved, just as children do. Although the physical distance was far from the one who gave them life, the Force was always with them."
"The Mother is the origin of The Force. I am one with The Force, and the Force is with me."
Ahsoka felt a soothing calm in her connection to the Force. Tranquil and quiet, she embraced the feeling with the realization that her grandmother's vision, her act of saving Rex, and their coming to Splendor, Anakin and Padme's hidden lodge, had resulted in her and Rex discovering their genuine devotion to each other.
In the few days here, Ahsoka and Rex's mutual attraction and newfound desires led them to quickly realize the exciting rush of physical pleasure combined with trust and intimacy. Their bodies were experiencing something new, but their hearts remained as committed to each other as they had always been, just as when their lives were in danger.
Ahsoka mused over her thoughts as she slowly sat down. She understood, or she thought she did. Zi-Shika's words were starting to reveal an answer, but Ahsoka still wasn't sure.
“Meht du meht, Zi-Shika? I know that what has happened between Rex and me, our love was there before we—"
"Acted on it? Yes. You human warrior is a good man, and his passion for you is quite evident," Zi-Shika lovingly teased.
Ahsoka's eyes widened at the statement as she felt the blush creep over her face and lekku. She had never discussed this topic with any other female before, let alone with the Force spirit of her grandmother.
As a Togruta, we believe mating is more than breeding. It is a powerful form of communication and appreciation. The giving and receiving of pleasure from another is a way to share and harness the power. You are discovering how this kind of power, combined with your connection to The Force, enlightens what was already there between you two."
Ahsoka swallowed hard. Her mouth was dry with the thought of what she believed would be her task.
“Meht du meht, am I…am I to be...a mother?”
"You will be, tunguma du tunguma. A very, very powerful mother."
"But Rex and I cannot—"
Ahsoka could not finish the statement. Her eyes screwed tight as her heart sank with the realization that, as a clone, Rex could not have children. Equally heartbreaking, she knew as a Togruta, she could only become a mother if she conceived and remained on Shili or Kiros in commune with other Togruta clans. Togruta females were incapable of carrying a child to term outside of those conditions.
"Little one, who is not so little anymore. It is true that you will be a mother, Ahsoka. One who must make great sacrifices."
"I don't understand?" Ahsoka swallowed the sob lumped in her throat, looked to the flower, and waited for her grandmother’s voice to explain.
"Your years are long ahead of you, Ahsoka Tano. With your chosen warrior, Captain Rex, you will have many, many children. More than any other Togruta mother has ever had before. But these children will not be of your physical womb…they will be born throughout the galaxy. They will be the children of The Rebellion.”
Ahsoka was staring so intently at the source of her grandmother's voice that she did not notice Morai’s sudden flight to join her, landing gently on her shoulder.
A/N: So sorry for the delay in the update. I am working on the next five chapters now. But I let this one take as long as it needed to because I'm creatively stubborn. Hope all the highlights were worth it:
Ahsoka is 18!
Zi-Shika (my OC) is Ahsoka's Force-sensitive grandmother!
The Force began at a fixed point in the galaxy!
And Ahsoka and Rex are the mama and papa of The Rebellion
Pretty fun chapter, huh?
And...moms. Shout out to moms (womb and non-womb alike)
The Jola Moon (A Rexsoka FanFic) - Chapter 13: And Fives Is With Me
Summary: Rex and Fives have some catching up to do. Ahsoka encounters a familiar presence in the Force.
Warnings: None. (I know, right?!)
Click to READ on AO3
A/N: Canon disclaimer JUST GO WITH IT XD
LUV 2 ALL THE CREW IN THE SHEBBY DEBBIES DISCORD: THIRSTY GOOD GIRL HOURS ARE 24/7- Love you so much!
Chapter 13: And Fives Is With Me
Rex barely made it a few meters following "Fives" before he dug in his heels, refusing to take another step further.
Fives– or whoever (or whatever) was only a few paces ahead of him, continuing the trek. The figure had taken off their helmet, now holding it at their hip as all clone soldiers did out of habit. Rex heard him take a deep inhale and exhale out with an audible sigh before Fives's signature vocal tone boomed out,
"Stars! The air on this moon is incredible, Rex. This feels good. I miss that feeling when we could take our helmets off and actually breathe in the air of a new place. Eh, that is, before it all went to shit with blaster fire, blood and smoke, right?"
Fives didn't urge Rex for a response.
But Rex still wouldn't move. He was tired of looking at the perfect replica of the back of Fives's full head of jet black hair.
It was shaved when he died. He had taken his chip out and had a shaved head.
Truthfully, it could be the back of any clone's head. But that walk? That was Fives.
Fives had this walk that just oozed confidence, announcing that he was ready for any damn thing thrown at him with each strut. He always had his shoulders back, chest out, whether he wore his armor, blacks, or those damn starched civvie jumpers.
Fives's goateed chin always led as he walked, giving him a demeanor that was so approachable it was intimidating. Shinies felt special even if he barely said three words to them. And women? Forget it. Military-grade TUG tractor beams only equaled his unique magnetic charisma. Women were instantly drawn to his lively energy field of casual swagger.
It was something Rex had never felt around the opposite sex. Until here, on Splendor with Ahsoka. Rex was still dizzy from waking up with the lustful haze from making love to Ahsoka, now being quickly removed by this bizarre scenario. Was it too much to ask for one day of normalcy and rest?
He heaved out a sigh.
This is crazy. Or am I going crazy?
"Hey!" Rex shouted to his supposed brother, who stopped walking but didn't turn around.
As Rex was trying to puzzle out this non-response, he caught the slightest of movement.
Kriffing hell. I don't believe it.
Incredibly, it was the nervous tick that no other clone had. The thumb and pinky of Fives's right hand would continuously tap a drumming restlessness on the side of his thigh plate. Everyone would joke that Fives could both march in time and to the beat of his own drum.
And it was that tiny detail that finally made Rex confront the situation out loud,
"What in the galaxy is going on?! You're… You're—"
"Dead? Yes."
"What do you mean, 'yes'? Then how—"
"And no ."
"WHAT?! I—I don't understand? I saw you get shot! Commander Fox shot you right in the heart…in front of me. You died in my arms!"
Rex was about to start registering the painful memory again.
"And yet, Captain, here I am, in the flesh even," his face proud and hands out presenting as though he too was impressed, "This was unexpected, I know."
Fives allowed Rex a moment to try to wrap his brain around this strange event. But being Fives, he just couldn't resist,
"But...stranger things have happened on this moon, huh, Captain?" He gave a wink.
"What the—?! You can't be serious! This is some fucking Force trick. You are not really Fives and I am not going to play along with some head game that's going to use Fives's memory to fuck with me!"
Fives stood there pulling his gloves tighter and adjusting his gauntlets, "Are you done?"
Rex's eyes widened at the incredulous question.
Fives walked over to Rex with a playful, almost boyish taunt. He stood face to face with his clone Captain. Rex's quizzical look at Fives was twisted up in so many emotions, as he realized this was not a mystical spirit or ghost. Somehow, here on Splendor, Fives was flesh and blood made whole.
Fives then slowly lifted up his right arm to Rex's cuirass. Then shoved him— hard.
Stunned, Rex lost his footing as he flopped back on his skid plate, his helmet tossed to the ground. Astonished, he immediately got back to his feet and shoved Fives back.
"Haha! There's my Captain!"
"Don't you fucking dare! You are not Fives!"
Rex was karking spitfire mad with rage and grief. Anger was burning from his chest, radiating up and down to his extremities. His face was beet red while tears welled in his eyes with fury.
"You can't do this! You have no right!"
Rex tried again to shove him, but Fives easily dodged Rex's jump at him with a zig-zag sidestep.
"Fight it, Rex. C'mon, Cap! That's it. Get pissed!" Fives dropped his bucket to the ground
"Stop!"
"I tried to tell ya." Fives's right boot swiped around Rex's left calf, almost taking Rex out completely. But, Rex caught himself on his knee plate, back up on his feet in a flash, and repositioned a defensive stance.
Rex roared with unrestrained anger, "FUCK YOU!!!"
His boisterous voice echoed across the landscape. Rex's chest was heaving, his head pounding from the exertion of his emotional release still traveling the distance.
Fives closed his eyes and listened, appreciating the sound as it traveled.
The two of them silently registered the reminder of their dear brother— Echo.
Both men now knew that Echo was never actually dead. The 501st's silent trauma from thinking they lost him at The Citadel turned out to be worse than grief. Instead, they should have felt overwhelming guilt for leaving him behind still alive and suffering.
Echo's torturous imprisonment at the hands of the Techno Union had left his mind and body permanently scarred. And even though Rex risked everything to save him, he had to let Echo go...again. No longer the ARC Trooper he once was, Echo was changed forever. Still, saving Echo was one of the few victories Rex could actually be proud to have achieved.
Fives spoke carefully in a calm tone, "On Anaxes, you knew it was Echo. Even Cody doubted you, but you knew. Didn't you ever wonder how you were so sure or more importantly why you were sure that Echo was still alive?"
"I just figured...Are you saying...No, no, no, this isn't fair. You have no idea what we went through! What Echo went through!"
Fives relished in Rex's challenge. Oh, he was ready for a brotherly fight.
"Oh, I don't know?! Tell me, Rex, how I don't know what it's like to be deserted, by my brothers?"
"I was there, Fives! I did not desert you. You don't think I regretted giving you permission to stay with Tup on Kamino?! Not a single, fucking day went by when I wished I could go back and do things differently. You would have left with me and let them–"
"Let them what? What, Rex? Let them reprogram Tup? Or worse, let him die? Cap, if you think I would have actually listened to you—"
"Listened to me? Oh, Maker, forbid!"
Rex's fury came out in nasty biting sarcasm as he continued,
"How dare I, Captain Rex, expect the one and only cee tee fucking five five five five should listen to me? I was just the lowly captain of the whole damn 501st Legion?!! You'll have to forgive me, Fives. Yes, I regret the very moment that I—yes, me, Captain Rex— made the wrong choice and gave one of my best men, my closest brothers, clearance to go on a damned suicide mission."
Both men stared daggers into each other's eyes. These emotions were actually the agonizing love that could only be between what most people call…family.
"I should have ordered you to leave with me!"
Fives scoffed an incredulous laugh at Rex's predictable response. He made no effort to mask his disappointment in Rex's final declaration on the matter.
"Sometimes, Rex, honestly, I can't believe I looked up to you. You know what? Forget it. You aren't ready for this! If you're gonna pull that same 'good clone soldier' crap you always do, then there's no point to me even being here."
Rex would not accept such an insult. The blatant insubordination was too much—from anyone, whether it was some Force ghost or even a reanimated, undead Fives.
The boiling rage moved Rex to charge and lunge at Fives in response. The two soldiers tumbled down to wrestle; their colliding plastoid armor pieces clacked and clashed as both scraped for the upper hand over the other. Rex bared his teeth with each forceful reach, then shouted and spat out every painful conviction,
"Not ready for what, Fives, huh? Tell me, smart ass! You cocky, mouthy bantha-fucker! Grrrrrrr—"
Rex used his whole torso to dig his head into the weak point under Fives's armpit. The maneuver caused Fives to wince aloud in pain at the stabbing pressure being applied to his pectoral muscle. Rex was limiting the reach of Fives's bicep as he tried to grab at Rex from behind.
"Tell me, Fives, you little shit! Running your mouth again, huh? You have no idea what I have been through! After Umbara, losing Ahsoka, then Tup and you? Then how we found Echo. And now?! Now, I've lost everyone. Everyone, Fives!" Rex spat out the combination of sweat and saliva that had built up with his shouting and complete focus on maintaining his dominant hold over Fives.
Rex was now shoving Fives's face down into the dirt to get the dulled arm in a hammerlock behind his back. Both men were now snarling out their breaths as Fives fought against Rex's strength to search for an opening. Rex's voice strained as he continued,
"I…would search…the galaxy and back…tenfold…if I— ARGGHHHH!…if I could...hmph...bring…GAHH!…any of my brothers back!"
Fives feigned a moment of surrender, and then he laughed maniacally as he pounced on Rex's slightest readjustment and release. Fives quickly wrapped his left leg around Rex's thigh, attempting to start a flip and spin for a reverse half-shoulder hold on Rex. But Rex anticipated the move and just applied more pressure to his grip on Fives (now completely) numb shoulder and crunched neck as the adrenaline raged Rex's continued fury,
"How dare you tell me I'm not ready for whatever the fuck ‘this' is , or will be! After everything I have been through, everything I have lived through?! What in this damned galaxy could I not handle?"
Rex's body was worn out from fighting one of the smartest, toughest damn troopers he's ever known. He released Fives with a huff and sat back on his haunches. Fives pulled himself up to his knees, heaving with breath. He swung his arm in circles to soothe his rotator cuff as he plopped back down on his skid plate and stretched his legs out before pulling his knees up to rest his arms on his knee plates.
"I can't Fives. I can't fight you, whether you are him or…aw fuck, I don't know anymore."
"So you do see that it's me?"
"I don't know what you are. You sure as hell fight like Fives."
"Ha!" Fives snickered in response.
Rex yowled into the air at his physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. Letting himself catch his breath, he confessed, "I don't know what's happening. Fuck! Every day here has been like some dream, then a nightmare that then turns into a dream. How is this harder than fighting a damn war?"
"Because you are becoming your own man, Rex. I'm never gone as long as you see yourself as a free man. You can't pull that perfect soldier routine anymore. You're a rebel now." Fives stood up and reached out his hand for Rex to safety-grip his wrist, "And you know what that means?"
"What?"
Rex accepted Fives hand and the two locked their grips around the other's wrists as Fives pulled Rex up to face him. Fives placed his hand on Rex's shoulder plate.
"It means you'll do what is best and right because you know it is. You'll question authority, doubt their bluffs, and know that you can always outsmart them."
Rex would have been horrified and insulted by the label 'rebel' at any other time in his life. But now? He was sure he just couldn't live up to the description.
"That was always you, Fives. I was never the rebellious type."
Fives gave him a smirk.
"Hmm…interesting. Yet here she is, with you, on this moon. She's in love with you too…and you with her. Guess you only rebel when it comes to uh…love?"
Rex had no idea how to respond to this. Fives was right. Again.
"I'm…," Rex felt the hesitation creep up. He was facing one of his brothers who knew about his and Ahsoka's relationship. Of all of his brothers, Fives knew. Fuck.
Rex wasn't sure what came over him, but he started to laugh. He genuinely began to laugh because he absolutely didn't give a shit what anyone thought, even Fives.
"Ahsoka and I… I'm not going to deny what I feel, Fives."
"Good."
"It is. It's better than good, it's the best feeling I've ever had in my life."
"Oh, I bet ."
"Don't fucking start, Fives. I'm not talking about that with you."
"Really, Rex? You're telling me that fu—
"Watch it, brother!" Rex stepped to Fives
"Excuse me…uh, having sex with Ahsoka—
"It's more than sex, Fives."
"Kriffing stars, Rex will you lighten up?"
"Not about this, no. It's Ahsoka, Fives. She's not just some quick fuck in the back of 79's. She's…."
For some reason, the lagoon came to Rex's mind.
A warmth settled in his chest as he recalled how jittery and nervous he was to touch Ahsoka then. The terrifyingly wonderful rush of kissing her neck while suspended in the air combined with the sound of her surrender to affection.
"She's everything to you now."
"Yeah. She really is."
"You going to admit I was right? You never did apologize, Rex."
"What you said was out of line. Then and now."
"And what was it I said, again? Remind me."
"Oh this again? You know what you said that night. As usual, too kriffing much."
That night. That stupid, wasted, drunken night.
The same week Ahsoka left, Rex went out with the boys to 79's and sat there like a drunken fool. The memory stung differently now. He no longer felt like less than a man for not participating in the hedonistic orgy. He wasn't made of stone. But now facing Fives, Rex shuddered at the thought of what happened on the way to 79's...
As they all left the barracks, Fives pulled Rex aside to walk a bit behind the others,
"Captain, sir, I know you don't want to go out with us. But you should do yourself a favor and let one of these Shebbies finally fuck you. Maker, those gals have been dying to fuck the one and only Captain Rex!"
He gave Rex a slap on the back before throwing his arm around Rex's shoulder.
"If this is supposed to be a pep talk, you are failing miserably, Fives."
"Come on! Do you know how many times we are asked," Fives squeaked up his voice to a high pitch and batted his eyelashes, 'Where's the Captain, tonight?' or 'Is Captain Rex taken or what?' Haha. Or what is right!" Fives belly laughed as he shoved and released Rex from his hold.
"I highly doubt that, Fives. Am I taken? Why would they even ask that?" And what do you mean or what, huh?"
"Because…"
Rex looked at Fives blankly, having no idea what he was implying. Fives stopped walking. Rex stopped in turn.
"Captain, I'm serious. She's gone now. I know it's gotta hurt. She was the only female you've ever really cared about."
"What? You mean, Commander Tano? We all will miss—"
"Sir, respectfully, I'm talking to you, one man to another. You don't have to admit it out loud, but come on, Rex. I know."
Rex laughed off the serious tone in Fives's voice.
"Know what?"
Fives snickered out his bafflement that had just a hint of pity hanging in the air.
"Fives, if you're implying that I have feelings for Commander Tano in that way…."
"You're telling me that you don't care, it doesn't hurt that you may never see her again?"
"She's our Commander?!" Rex was starting to turn red in the face. Fives wasn't sure if it was anger or embarrassment.
"Come on, Rex! You mean to tell me that all that time you two have spent together, sitting next to each other every flight, every briefing, working extra hours on field reports, covering Skywalker's ass, guarding her tent on missions, every night we went out you two stayed in for—"
"All of those things I did as her captain! Look, the 501st has, fuck! We had one of the most talented and dedicated Jedi Commanders in the GAR. I never saw her as…as…."
"A beautiful, wickedly smart, kind, and powerful Togrutan Jedi whose body needed to grow up as fast as ours did, so you could finally kiss her one day?"
Yup. Rex still remembered what Fives had said that night…and not one trooper in the 501st failed to notice Rex's response that stuck around on Fives's face the following week.
"Look, Fives. I am sorry I punched you that night. Though, you were out of line. But yes, I... I could've handled my response better."
"Worth it."
Rex laughed.
Fives grinned, "Well, it was. And...I was right."
"That mouth of yours. Kriffing unbelievable. Damnit, Fives. I told you it would get you killed. Are you going to at least admit that I was right?"
"Again. Worth it."
Fives grinned at his brother with pride and said no more. For someone like Fives, silence carried significance. This was Fives's unspoken declaration of pride and honor. He stood there silently, grinning at Rex. Fives knew that even though the circumstances of his death were tragic, had he not uncovered the truth of the inhibitor chips, Palpatine's true identity, and the plan for Order 66, he would've been just another pawn in the greatest deception against the Jedi and The (now fallen) Republic.
Rex stepped to his brother and hugged him. He held Fives so tightly his own armor was digging into his skin. But Rex let the pain of the armor do its worst as he took a deep breath and confessed,
"Thank you, Fives. I'm sorry. And you were right, brother."
Muffled in their armored embrace, Fives responded,
"I'm still waiting for you to admit making love to Ahsoka is the best kriffing feeling you've ever had."
Rex grunted, then pulled away from their embrace. He was blushing, but he was also grinning. It was the cheekiest grin Fives ever saw on Rex's face.
Ahsoka trekked the crumbling path that was lined with buried and broken columns. It was headed in a direction that would go much deeper into the cloud forest. She assessed that the heavy lower and upper canopies of massive trees could tangle up any clear path, so she paid attention to the patterns above made by the branches and foliage. There seemed to be hundreds of shades of green in this forest. This only made the forgotten detritus of demolished stone stand out worse. Life had moved on and taken over the untamed area that once was a hallowed, sacred space.
She could not help but think of the grand structure of the Jedi Temple. Growing up inside the temple walls, she had always believed the Jedi Order's high prestige was known and respected throughout the galaxy. But her months in the lower levels of Coruscant saw no such greatness or protection. The rest of the capital city was stifled beneath the weight and bloated distinction of Coruscant's upper levels. An obvious ruling class that was physically burying the rest of the city's population beneath them. And there at the very top level was where the "guardians of peace and justice" made their home.
The city's central landmark had a majesty that presided over the people of the capital city as a symbol of what? Was it to glorify their ability to protect others, or was it self-glorification?
In the months after she left the Order, Ahsoka would often wonder if the Jedi ever considered the real difference they could've made had they chosen to build their temple in the bottom levels of the city instead.
But none of that mattered now, though.
Ahsoka began to recall through a series of emotions and images the memories of the grand hallways, the quiet of the Jedi Archives, the lights of the training rooms, the comfort of the living quarters, and the powerful energy of the Jedi council room. All of these would one day be a ruin, buried in layers of time and forgotten.
I need to find out who survived.
Ahsoka hoped she could find answers if anyone else survived Order 66? Knowing that so many others fell, who would train the younglings now?
The younglings!
Ahsoka collapsed under the weight of grief, anger, and agony. Her connection to the Force was crawling under her skin, stinging with pain throughout her whole body.
No. This can't be…
Tears fell without shame from her eyes as she rooted her feet back to the ground to rise back up. With concentrated breath and gritted teeth, she slowly built up her spine one vertebrae at a time as she fought the weight of darkness and a sense of horror.
Innocent lives. They were just children and had done nothing wrong.
Vengeance will not bring them back.
Still, the rage brewing in her was instant. Ahsoka felt the shudder in her neck and shoulders as her jaw clenched. Lips curled in; she wanted to scream, spit out fire, and roar at the whole damn galaxy when she imagined what monster would commit such an unfathomable act of violence.
She wanted to do all those things. Instead, she let it horrify her but not consume her. Again, there was a darkness similar to a bottomless cavern of pain that had clouded her when they first arrived on Splendor. Her connection to the Force was a lifeline that she clung to as the grim shadow invaded her thoughts.
Ahsoka's body was trembling from being so locked up; her muscles flexed with tension. She was still registering the anger and disgust, calling for swift retaliation. She concentrated her focus and stared at a patch of grass that was struggling to sprout through the dirt.
Life. Hope.
Fixated on this one spot, she stayed grounded in her place at the moment.
"Darkness cannot guide my path. I am one with the Force and the Force is with me."
Rex.
She softened at the thought of him. A slight grin formed thinking of last night, his handsome face cradled in her lap as she watched his lips move when he spoke. She thought of how his eyes glowed when he smiled at her now. She closed her eyes and recalled the warmth of his voice when he was close to her skin just before kissing her neck. She wasn't sure if it was a feeling of comfort or safety, but it was calming. Rex was more than just her first love, closest friend, and warrior bound. Now he would always be a beacon that could to guide her back to the moment she fought her last fight in the war for the Republic…and was victorious. As long as the two of them lived, this evil that had murdered so many could never truly claim victory.
She knew leaving Rex behind this morning was what she had to do, but she missed his grounding presence right now. Still, Rex would be furious if he knew about the slaughter at the Jedi Temple. His clone instinct to protect the innocent and vulnerable would have him halfway to battle mode, and she would be the one telling him to stand down for a moment.
"Who did it? Who ordered the younglings to be killed?"
"One who controls the galaxy now."
The voice that answered was masculine, older, distant, yet serene. This spirit is here with her or around her, somewhere. She felt his presence in the Force. Morai circled above, but the man's voice was near. There was a familiarity with his Force presence. One she doesn't remember, but she knows him.
"This murderer? This is the work of Darth Sidious?"
"His apprentice, but yes, by his orders."
"They must be stopped."
"And how will this be acheived? More battles, more war. Isn't that what the Jedi were trying to do all these years? Not much to show for our efforts."
"Our? Then…you are a Jedi?"
"In my mortal life, I was, yes. Now I am just one with the Force. One of many Jedi who have left their mortal bodies. Now they are Jedis in memory only. For as long as anyone will remember if they do at all."
"I remember. I will not forget. I— I want to seek vengeance, but I–"
Ahsoka's emotions were simmering underneath her skin as a singe of heat caused her teeth to clench. She looked out to scope around her and distract her from the painful sensation. She noticed the top of a ruined pediment edging out of the ground. Once the smooth and shaped marble cornice slabs had met at a perfect point, now they were off-center, one side bearing the weight of the other that was crushed and buried into earth and loam.
"You know vengeance is not the way. Balance, Ahsoka. As you have found here. And you have found it here. You opened your heart to love with Rex when tragedy and grief could have consumed you."
The petty embarrassment of how much this spirit knew took her by surprise for a moment. That is until she registered what was just said and the lack of judgment in the man's tone.
"Balance? I certainly do not feel any balance since this massacre of my…," she stopped herself.
"You can say it, your people. Your family. You grew up at the Jedi Temple, Ahsoka. Leaving one place does not erase who you were in the past, you bring it with you in the present, for better or for worse."
"Who are you? Why do you feel so familiar to me?"
"Our connection exists here and now because your presence here has increased your powers, Ahsoka Tano. As a Jedi, I sought out past the acceptable boundaries of the Order. There was always more truth and more knowledge. A Jedi was to have no fear, and yet, the forbidden is only deemed so out of fear. You are now able to commune with me in the Force because of the power here. As you may have realized this place is not simply a moon."
"The Force is very powerful here. It…it reminds me of…."
"Mortis? I was there, with all of you. Obi-Wan and Anakin, they never spoke of your time there again, did they?"
Ahsoka felt as though she was dusting off a lost sentimental treasure from her mind. It was a memory placed in some mental vault for safekeeping but then lost to the frantic day-to-day demands of the war. Recalling it now, she considered all that she, Anakin, and Obi-Wan experienced on Mortis. The significance was lost at the time.
"No. We never spoke of it. Not even to the Council. It's as though…we just dismissed that it ever happened. And I—"
Morai's flight circling above her caught Ahsoka's attention.
"Morai, she was…the Daughter."
The bird gracefully swooped down and took its place on Ahsoka's vambrace.
"You gave your life for me. I'm trying to remember…The Father, The Daughter, and The Son. It all seemed so significant when we were there, but it was as though it never happened once we left," she said.
Qui-Gon responded, "When memories are forgotten, did the experience even happen?"
Ahsoka was familiar with this type of questioning. The contemplative nature of a Jedi was the result of deep philosophical training. Wisdom and compassion for others within a small community are simple and accessible. But to have the same consideration and openness for an entire planet? That was much more challenging.
Whereas Jedi were expected to practice compassion for all living things in an entire galaxy —while also wielding the power of the Force. Jedi needed to expand their perceptions and opinions beyond the narrow scope of their own personal understanding. The individual is limited. Jedi were trained to accept that they were part of something greater.
Once, she was part of something greater, too…until she wasn't anymore. The thought of this never quite settled in her heart right. It was as though some emotional limp from a painful injury healed wrong. She accepted she would live with the invisible scar forever.
"I remember you little one. Master Plo once told me his heart grew tenfold the day he sensed you, Ahsoka. The power in you had a strength and light that was unlike any he had felt. Your sense of good and bravery was so uplifting, he wondered if I had not made a mistake in my conviction for the youngling I had found."
Ahsoka still could not puzzle out who this was. She was done with this bizarre encounter attempting to bring up her past as though it had any idea what she had been through these last few days or even this last year.
"What do you want from me?! I'm here, aren't I?"
"No, you are not here! You were drifting back to your days as a Jedi padawan. We can talk about the Order, your training, your determination to prove yourself over and over again. What good would that do? It is gone now. Would you like to waste precious time reminiscing over days past? Is that what you have become since leaving the Order?
"No. That's not fair. My entire life was devoted to the Jedi Order. I was...," Ahsoka could not stop the hurt that always stung in her chest when she thought of Bariss's betrayal by framing her. But even more hurtful were the actions of the Jedi Council, believing Ahsoka was capable of the Temple bombing.
"Thinking of the past will always leave you falling behind. Where you are now is all that matters."
"To prepare for what is ahead?"
"Wrong again. A future that has not happened. How does one prepare for that?"
Ahsoka reached out to touch one large piece of a broken column. Its once smooth, sturdy stone had stood at an unknown height but now lay in shattered rubble. Its base was strangled in the ground at a falling angle.
The man's voice continued,
"You see what is broken before you. Do you waste time staring at these ruins wondering how or why they got this way? You could. You could do that. Or…you can try to put it back together."
Eyeing the pieces like a puzzle for a moment, Ahsoka assessed the difficulty. She closed her eyes, reached out her hands to allow the energy of the Force to work through her, and lifted all the pieces to hover. Next, she drew in the expanding breath that allowed her body to release an exhaling breath of elevated power. This is when the Force manifests from her as its conduit. As the scattered rubble swirled in a guided dance, the pieces began to pull together to their original columned form. Some pieces were large and jagged around the edges, some as tiny as a pebble. When she attempted to reassemble the pieces, her mind began to play flashes of scenes, unfamiliar to her but familiar to…
"Qui-Gon Jinn? You are Master Qui-Gon Jinn. You were…Obi-Wan's Master, the one who found Anakin. I-I barely remember you."
"I am. Yes, you were quite young. And, yes, I was a Master, but now of none, of nothing."
She sensed his presence grow stronger. She wanted to open her eyes to see him, but she would lose the focus needed to hold the broken pieces together.
"You are rebuilding a ruin. What will hold it all together?'
"The Force…"
"Hmmm…not without you. It won't stay together."
"But you were the one who said I could put it back together?!"
"Your mind is clouded, young one. The lesson is in the learning. What is there to learn from studying ruins or attempting to rebuild what cannot exist again?"
Ahsoka was so close to completing the column ruin. She wanted to finish this one task just to feel like she was still...capable. Always trying to prove herself, but to whom now? A ghost of someone she barely knew? There was no Anakin, Obi-Wan, Master Windu, or the rest of the Council.
She reluctantly recalled her weeks alone in the lower levels of Coruscant, sitting without any purpose.
She knew Qui-Gon was right. Once she had each piece together, what would keep it all there? She had to choose. Does she stubbornly stay there and hold the assembled column in place for the satisfaction of putting it back together? It's not like she could stay there holding this one column's thousands of pieces in place? But if she let go, it would all fall apart and crumble again. Her efforts would be a waste.
She accepted and admitted to the Force spirit, "I must let go."
"Yes. When you understand your choice, you know you are making the right one. As you enter the Temple of The Mother, be wise not to dwell on what happened before. Ask yourself, why are you here now? "
Ahsoka let her connection to the Force subside. The tiny twist of defeat she knew too well irked her as she realized she was still trying to convince the ghosts of her past that their doubt in her innocence was a betrayal that hurt her deeply. But her need for their approval was hurt much worse.
His spirit stood tall over her when she opened her eyes, a hazy form of stardust and light. She suddenly remembered when she met Master Jinn so long ago; she thought he was the tallest human alive. Now in some strange spirit form, she studied his face, robes, energy, and presence in the Force.
"You must begin your training today. Morai will guide you to The Mother."
"The Mother."
Ahsoka still had no notion of who or what was The Mother. She looked over into the midst of the wild forest. The massive trunks of kapoks, banyans, and palms appeared woven together to form some kind of an arboreal gate.
"I see no entrance to a temple at all. Forgive me, Master Jinn, but we just went through this. I cannot rebuild something that is lost."
"No, you can't. But, as you said, you can see what is before you. Look ahead, begin your own path."
Ahsoka closed her eyes and held her breath for a moment. Exhaling out, she opened her eyes and moved to take a step but thought again. It was no hesitation; instead, a sense of farewell and gratitude filled her heart. She looked over where Qui-Gon had stood, and he was gone.
"May the Force be with you, Ahsoka Tano," his voice then disappeared with the wind.
She felt a subtle warm breeze brush against her skin. Then it was gone.
"Thank you, Master Jinn. May the Force…be with you, always."
Ahsoka then took her first step on the unseen path further into the forest. She was determined not to falter in her actions.
The ground began to tremble as she walked. A thunderous rumbling underneath the ground caused Ahsoka to brace her stance. Unphased, maybe more determined, she continued, adjusting her gait as she moved in tandem with the crunching wave-like shifting of ground that would split and reset. It was as though something was waking up, but she sensed no other living beings of any kind.
The vines and dirt that had covered the shattered ruins of columns began to snap and crumble; a new pathway was being outlined directing the now elevated path into the cloud forest. Ahsoka observed the transformation as she leaped when suddenly, the columns rose up fully reassembled and erected once again. This time, it was not Ahsoka holding any of this together. The Force was demonstrating its impressive power, her own seeming small in comparison.
Up ahead, she saw the branches and leaves of the trees shake mightily as it was clear something was uprooting itself from below to rise out of its hidden natural tomb. In her vision, she saw two large White Wroshyr trees grow out of the ground to an impossible height in a matter of seconds. Ahsoka and any padawan of the Jedi Order had studied the archives of the mystical gem bearing majestic trees.
She remembered learning how they had long been extinct. The last one on Kashyyyk was said to have provided the last known precious meriyx gemstone over a millennia ago. Yet here on Splendor, two of these sacred trees stood guard on either side of a small humble stone square structure flanked on either side by the two trees and massive moss-covered boulders. The newly revealed path of mismatched stepping stones had also broken through the surface, snapping roots and knocking over some of the gigantic trees.
The building had some sort of small entrance. As Ahsoka got closer, she deduced that this was not the temple. This was just the entrance.
She finally padded her swift feet to face the small darkened entrance. There was no door, no markings, or symbols. Nothing gave her any indication of what was inside, but she braved every step anyway.
She had let the Force guide her on her own path, and now she stood at the precipice.
Morai swooped down and flew past her, disappearing into the darkened entrance.
And as Ahsoka took a step inside the temple's dark and seemingly empty entrance, she smiled and thought of Rex.
He's okay. He's not alone.
"I am one with the Force, and the Force is with me."
“The Wookie Cub Snore” THE JOLA MOON🌘🌗🌖Xtras/Deleted Scenes
12 Days of Rexsoka - Day #2 “Just Like Old Times”
TW: May cause 😭 I was hoping to fit this in somewhere. But decided to include it as part of my “xtras/deleted” scenes.
THE WOOKIE CUB SNORE
She was watching Rex sleep while listening to his precious Wookiee cub snore. She remembered that sound from the long flights to and from whatever hyper-madness the Republic had required them to attend to...
Fives and Echo would do the funniest little routine to Rex’s signature snoring with their heads bobbing up and down while conducting their hands as though they were orchestrating a one-man snoring symphony.
Everyone that was awake would be silently laughing so hard trying to make sure they didn’t wake their beloved resting Captain. Eventually, Echo’s eyes would start tearing up as his red face writhed in pain with a laughing smile. Fives loved to get Echo cracking up that hard and Echo would start losing control of his silent laughter. Fives was the only one who could make Echo laugh like that. Rex would always sleep through all of it.
Immediately after The Citadel, Ahsoka would make sure to sit next to Fives for long flights. She wanted him to know that someone knew how much he missed his Domino twin and would share his pain. For many weeks there were no silly moments. No wild hi-jinks. No Echo of silent laughter.
Fives would always fall asleep on her tiny shoulder and eventually, she would let him settle in her lap with her bunched-up Jedi cloak as a pillow.
And whenever he could, Rex would sit with her as she comforted his grieving brother.
When Fives’s snored his version of the same adorable snore all the clones had, Ahsoka would look at Rex and remember the joy he never knew he was always the cause of back then. She would quietly smile at him then the way she smiled at him now safely sleeping in her arms, filling her with joy.
On The Resolute, she and Rex would sit there whisper-talking for hours, with Fives asleep in her lap. There was nothing strange to anyone, not even Anakin. Everyone in the 501st knew that Rex and Ahsoka were the mindful point of balance the resulted in the 501st’s bravery and morale.
Together, they always were the pair that ensured the level of the pain never exceeded the comfort that was needed to go on and fight another day. Now they could be that for each other.
But could they be that for an entire rebellion that didn’t yet exist?
Ahsoka had no answer for that. She only had this moment of joy with him here and today.
The Jola Moon (A Rexsoka FanFic) - Chapter 11: THE FEAST
NSFW - 18+ ONLY - EXPLICIT/MATURE
SUMMARY: Rex and Ahsoka finally sit down to eat dinner.
A/N: Happy New Year, tumblr-verse. Sorry for the delay in posting this one! I let the holidays do their thing and take over my life😏
Our story continues and I’m very curious what the response will be for this chapter. But that’s all I’ll say for now🙌🥰🙌
Thanks to @shannon-lynn-21 for her help with describing that one sexy moan I cannot for the life of me manage to describe to my own satisfaction.
Thank you to @chromia7567 & @elsaanna007 and the great Catmama9 for helping me out and reading my early drafts! 🙌😍🙌
You can also read the whole fic in AO3 by clicking here- kudos and comments appreciated🥰🥰🥰
Chapter 11 - The Feast
The fog was thick with smoke and dirt. The air she breathed in was putrid with an unpleasant smell and taste. Ahsoka immediately sensed danger and gripped her lightsabers tight behind her back.
Why do I have two lightsabers again? That’s not right.
She was certain one was left at the crash site, and the other was in the hangar with the Y-wing.
She tried to look around to get her bearings but only felt the scene around her hover in her vision. The hazy daylight served her no purpose other than to outline the silhouettes of gnarled lifeless trees. It was impossible to tell if it was dawn or dusk. For miles, she took in the endless rows of scorched earth; the giant trunks resembled desperate fingers trying to claw their way out of the ground.
What happened here?
The charred forest had lost all life and foliage. Was she still on Splendor? She moved to begin a run but could not. Something was wrong. She couldn’t move. Her body was heavier, and she felt sore in places she never had felt before. She seemed…older, by decades.
“The people already suffer under your rule.”
That was her own voice, though she had no idea to whom she was directing the accusation.
Suddenly, blaster fire shot out at her from all sides, and though she couldn’t move, none of them hit her. She then saw her two glowing sabers, a shocking white she had never seen, now ignited as they easily cut down the masked figures one by one at her feet.
Her surroundings shifted, and she was caught in a different fog that was misty and wet. This new fog drifted in the same haunting and barren forest. Through the mist, she saw an armored figure,
“Rex?” No, that was not his armor; it looked…Mandalorian?
She called out to the figure. “Who are you?”
The only response the figure gave was to continue towards her. The armor appeared to be that of a man’s, and his approach was steady and non-threatening. She began to feel someone else’s thoughts; another being was with this unknown man. It was a child, but more importantly, another Jedi. The presence spoke to her through the Force, but the youngling was still unseen. As the armored figure approached her, the reflection in his beskar helmet and glass visor revealed her reflection as she saw herself presently. She might as well be looking in the bathroom mirror in the lodge. Shifting her gaze beyond the armored man’s shoulder plate, she saw the distinct silhouette of Master Yoda.
“Master! Are you alright?”
Yoda’s voice was clear, soft, and humbled as it responded to her.
“Found me, you have not. But found you, hope and love have. Yes. Safe, we will be now. Hope we have, now. Look to the Force, Ahsoka. To me, look not. To the Force…only,” Yoda’s voice trailed off, but she knew it was really him. He was alive…somewhere. He knew she was alive too.
“Good or bad, they are always memorable,” once again her own voice rang in her ear, but she no longer saw the Mandalorian or felt the presence of the youngling.
She was alone again and had no idea where she was or what any of this meant. In an instant, the light from two suns beaming down shined so brightly it blocked out all that she saw before. Her eyes squinted to look as she felt the warmth pour over her skin. Soon the bright blinding lights shifted into the warm glow of Rex’s amber eyes looking into hers as he spoke,
“Ahsoka? Time to wake up, Tano,”
Ahsoka’s eyes opened to his familiar and comforting face. Rex’s smile pushed aside the confusion in her thoughts caused by her dream. She let out a great big glorious yawn as her body twisted and stretched itself awake.
“Mmm…Rex,” she smiled as she cupped his face, “What time is it?”
Rex laid beside her, propped up on one elbow, tracing the long sleeve of the light blue tunic she chose to nap in.
“I have no idea. Night time? I woke up a while ago. It was already dark and I took a quick shower.”
“It finally stopped raining?”
“Yeah, it had stopped by the time I got up.”
Ahsoka looked him over then cuddled up to him to ensure he was really there with her. Seeing Rex wearing only his upper blacks again, she noticed the high neckline, his now hidden chest, and muscular arms. It stirred her memories of post-battle briefings and innocent downtime on The Resolute. Then she noticed he had on the black drawstring pants that she had found in the closet for him this morning.
This morning. Even that felt like a lifetime ago. Time was completely out of sorts on this moon.
With her next breath, her senses were delighted as her nose took in a whiff of a delicious scent that opened her eyes wide and made her mouth water,
“Did you start cooking already?”
Rex smiled with self-satisfaction, “I did. I am attempting to make us dinner, or at least I hope it's edible. I was so hungry when I woke up. I ate an entire jar of nut paste!”
“With your fingers again?” Ahsoka laughed and traced his mouth clumsily.
“No, not this time. I did find a spoon, eventually.”
Rex grabbed her hand and started kissing her fingers. He then playfully began to make fun of himself by pretending to eat her fingers. Their laughter filled the bedroom with the sound of uninhibited joy that quickly turned into adoring kisses and affection.
This once abandoned lodge built by Anakin and Padme Skywalker for their secret, hidden, and unspoken love had new occupants now. The marriage that was never supposed to happen was replaced by Ahsoka and Rex’s newly discovered and growing love, a love that was battle-tested, unashamed, and inevitable. Their partnership would be needed for the years to come. The happiness and joy they felt right now would have to carry them both through the dark and lonely days that were indeed ahead.
Ahsoka could not help but still process the visions from her dream. Still, she was set afire again with her desire to touch Rex’s skin, kiss him, and especially have him in her again. Even as they lay calmly in the bed, her hips ached for that feeling to return. These moments of laughter and playfulness were so new, yet it felt like they had always been this intimate. Ahsoka was a bit breathless with how he was looking at her at this moment. Rex’s golden amber eyes had looked at her many times before they ever arrived on Splendor. Have they always appreciated her this much? Had she always looked at him so adoringly?
She wondered if Rex was as perplexed by their connection now.
“I feel so close to you now, Rex,” she traced his bicep, feeling the curves and strength of this arm.
“Me too. I was nervous that you would feel differently after we…you know.”
She sat up in the bed and took his hand in both of hers.
“I do feel different, Rex, wonderfully different.”
Rex’s bashful grin was trying so hard not to beam a huge smile. He was still learning how to accept this much affection. He knew now that he could only share this side of himself with Ahsoka. He couldn’t imagine anyone else understanding just how difficult it was to be adored by someone like this. Moved by this awareness, he began to trace his fingers over her face and wanted to treasure her whole body.
He started at the diamond markings on her forehead then down across the markings on her cheek. He kissed her gently, laying her back into the pillows as his touch continued down her neck, where it landed on her lekku. Ahsoka’s lips quivered against his, revealing that her sensitive lekku tails may be more than just ticklish, given the proper attention.
Her hand quickly met his hand to urge him to continue exploring her body over the dreamsilk fabric of her tunic. Then she guided him under the hem. Rex’s hand grabbed her hip, still warm from her nap, as he kissed her passionately with every ounce of longing and desire for her. Ahsoka reciprocated as she slid her hands to his back under the hem of his shirt to scratch the skin of his back lightly. Rex moved his body over hers and settled between her legs that spread wide to fit him in. His thoughts went wild when he remembered she had nothing on underneath her borrowed long-sleeved tunic.
When she started rolling and bucking her hips towards him perfectly, his growing excitement underneath the fabric of his pants thrust deep to feel the warmth moistening between her legs. Bracing himself on one strong arm, he caressed her breast. She let out a sigh into his ear as he pinched at her nipple.
“Oh Rex, I want you in me again,” she sharply traced her tongue along his ear lobe.
He whispered a growl into her montral just before confessing, “Stars, when you say that Ahsoka….”
She whispered into his ear again, “Rex? Is there still food that’s cooking?”
“OH KRIFF!” he jumped off the bed to his feet, adjusted himself, shaking his head and even one foot to get his balance, “I completely forgot! So sorry!”
“Don’t apologize! Just go save our dinner,” Ahsoka laughed and shooed him away. He started to hurry out of the bedroom,
“I’m not done with you though!” Rex shouted from the hall as Ahsoka sat up and called back,
“Save the dinner, Rex!” She shook her head with a smile, then collapsed back into the enormous bed.
She had not laid in the bed by herself yet. She pulled the velvet comforter up to her chest as she let the heated sensations still resonating in her body move her to twist and turn. She was thinking about how Rex felt between her legs with his body on top of hers. She was biting her finger just thinking about the feeling of him pressed against her bare down there. She knew they had to eat, sleep, and all the normal functions of life, but she wondered if they could just keep having sex and pleasuring each other endlessly.
Then she recalled her dream again. It was more than a dream, she knew. She had a vision and had made a connection with Master Yoda. It also seemed that the wise old Master sensed what was happening here on Splendor between her and Rex. That realization made her sit up straight and cooled any heated passion leftover from her and Rex’s recent actions.
She got quiet and crossed her legs. There, in the center of the bed, she drew a breath to recall the words of the Jedi Master,
“But found you, hope and love have…Safe, we will be now…Look to the Force, Ahsoka. To me, look not. To the Force… only .”
Ahsoka was struck by the confirmation that another Jedi was indeed alive out there in the galaxy. He also encouraged her to continue on her current path and not seek him.
She thought she would have a much more insightful reaction. Instead, she just really needed to use the refresher.
Rex did what he could to save the well-overdone potatoes, but he was glad the rice grains were perfectly cooked. He fluffed the rice in the pot with the large wooden fork, tasted a bite, and decided on just a bit more salt for some flavor. As he put the lid back on the pot to keep the steam in, he grabbed one more burnt potato wedge and popped it into his mouth,
“Not that bad, I guess.”
He looked over at the serving platter and two large bowls Ahsoka had found earlier in the day. It had been almost three rotations since he and Ahsoka had eaten a decent meal. The breakfast this morning was meager but certainly tied them over, considering the activities of the day. The best part of cooking was that he could get something done, feel useful, and more importantly, assess how much food they actually had to last however long they would stay.
Every time he thought about when they would leave or what their next move would be, Rex found himself immediately trying to figure out how much longer they could stay. He tried not to dwell on the conflicting thoughts by looking through the pantry again to hunt down more food options. It was a dreamy thought, but there was no way Splendor could be a permanent refuge for them. It was never meant to be more than a hidden temporary retreat. But he did think about it, maybe a little more than he wanted to admit.
Additionally, he had a nagging concern about what happened to his clone brothers, the Skywalkers, and even the whole damn Republic. A comm to Cut tomorrow would help him navigate all of these new feelings and any updates on what was happening in the galaxy.
He pulled the wyrg jerky out of its packaging and tried to arrange it on a platter. There really wasn’t any way to make strips of jerky look nice. Still, they looked delicious . His mouth was watering at the smell of the spicy, savory flavor that filled the bag. He was determined to hold out and not start eating out of solidarity, but he did lick his fingers to taste. Rex didn’t even like jerky; he always loathed the texture and how it never felt like you had thoroughly chewed it properly. Skywalker, though, could have eaten it for every meal if available. It occurred to Rex that his general had probably eaten from this very bag, and he paused for a moment, unsure how to feel or what to do,
“Sorry, general. If I ever see you again, I’ll owe you.”
Rex opted to retake stock of how much jerky they had. There was only so much in the two packages left at the lodge, and as their primary source of protein, it was a special treat just for tonight.
Ahsoka soon appeared rushing down the hallway, causing Rex to stop what he was doing and take in her giddiness. She was practically leaping towards the kitchen. She then slowed her step to a very suspicious stroll right up to him. Rex signaled his curiosity, raising one eyebrow,
“You look very proud of yourself. What are you up to there?
“Kiss me.”
“What? Of course I will,” He stepped closer to pull her to him. Rex gently traced the thickest part of her montral down to her shoulders, not sure what she was up to, before leaning in for a kiss that contained a surprise that made him pull back with eyes wide,
“You found a toothbrush?!”
“ Four toothbrushes, actually, and two tubes of toothpaste. Rex! We can brush our teeth!”
“Where did you find them?”
“I had a feeling you may have not looked as thoroughly through Padme’s drawers. Just a hunch. Why are men so weird about going through women’s things?”
“You say that like it's a bad thing. I’m…quite certain that is a good thing.”
“Do you remember that time, I think just before the Zygerrian mission, I grabbed the wrong data pad and asked you to get the one I needed out of my trunk for me?”
Rex easily replied, “And I brought the whole trunk? Yes.”
“The entire trunk, Rex! I told you exactly where the datapad was in the top tray, but no. There in the mess room you set down my entire trunk on the table in front of Boomer, Vaughn, and Appo.”
“If I may, most men just don’t want to, how do I say this? Find something feminine that we aren’t supposed to see like… intimate things.”
“My underwear wasn’t in the top tray, Rex, it was underneath, you wouldn’t have even seen it.”
“Well that alone confirms I did the right thing. What if the datapad hadn’t been where you said it was? I was trying to be respectful. You just gave me the code to your quarters without even thinking twice, Ahsoka! You didn’t see the look Skywalker gave me when you did that!”
“Ridiculous.”
“If you say so. How about this? I promise, in the future, I will be more thorough when going through a female’s personal belongings, even if I am not intimate with her.”
“Oh, very funny, Rex.”
He smiled as he met his hands with hers and gently interlaced their fingers, “Am I?” He then leaned in to taste the sweet mint of her kisses again. He pulled back slightly and hitched her chin between his thumb and trigger finger,
“Mmm…I‘ve never been so excited to brush my teeth.”
Ahsoka stretched up to kiss his nose, “I’d keep kissing you even if you didn’t. But it does feel so much better.”
“I’ll be right back,” he turned to head down the hallway and called back, “Food’s ready to go if you want to get it on the table!”
“It looks delicious. Hurry up!”
Ahsoka was more than impressed when she took in all that Rex had prepared. Hot steaming rice grains, perfectly crispy potato wedges (just the way she liked them), a plate of jerky, wheat wafers, and a bowl of dried cherries and nuts. It was quite the spread. He had done all this for tonight, for them.
She looked over at the spot in the receiving room where she had stood, laughing to herself at the idea of Rex being a romantic.
And now? Now, she was on the other side of the room, about to happily feast on how romantic and thoughtful Rex could be. She knew better now. Rex was so much more than a captain, soldier, and friend. Ahsoka considered how fortunate she was to see the man he was without the war, the man he could choose to be on his own now.
Rex was always an officer that stood above other men by standing with them side by side. He immediately earned their respect because he was always respectful of others. She had seen him mold young soldiers with his stern but easy manner that they all admired. Every clone undeniably had their own personality, but Rex seemed to have this extra charm of class and distinction unique to him. For him to now desire her, care for her, like this, she couldn’t help but straighten her shoulders, lift her chin and feel honored.
He had even put out the plates and cutlery on the table already, all while she slept and dreamed of distant visions of time.
There were no placemats or fancy centerpieces to add more decoration, but that was fine with Ahsoka. The craftwork of the table shouldn’t be covered by anything anyway. Its half-moon shape, detailed aruk paw pedestal feet, and the wood’s craftsmanship were a work of art to behold. One that she wished she knew more about and could only accept her lost history.
The scattered knots and imperfections in the wood table top had an inlay of Daga turquoise that could only be found in the rocky cliffs overlooking the Great Daga Sea, far from Shili’s capital city of Corvala. Like Togruta’s natural markings, the rare blue and black turquoise marked the wood with sleek hints here and there.
Her homeworld of Shili was known throughout the galaxy for its healers and unique insular culture. It was most certainly not known for exporting traditional wooden furniture made of timber from its impressive sacred forest valleys.
To make a clan’s feast table for a Togruta binding ceremony required yet another ritual and ceremony just for choosing the tree. The tree would be giving its life for the benefit of celebrating many unions and births, hopefully over generations. A council of elder clan mothers would sleep outside, around the chosen tree for three rotations. There was a continuous routine of blessings, smudging of sage, and ceremonial dances that the elder mothers performed. The ritual was to deem the tree worthy and praise the worth of the female who would take possession of the table for all of her future binding ceremonies.
Ownership of the table would then pass down to the first daughter, who would be responsible for both the table and ensuring that her sisters obtained suitable warriors, always of their own choosing. This table was where the couple would sit and be celebrated by all who loved them. The table would be placed up high on a dais for all to have a view as hundreds would sing, drink, dance, and revel in hope for the future that the pairing would bring.
And yet, somehow, somewhere, and at some time, all of that supposed importance was sold to Padme and placed here, only to be hidden in the lodge. Something had happened to disrupt hundreds of years of generational tradition and ceremonial ritual. The table was hidden here, lost to time, just like Ahsoka’s knowledge of her species and native culture. Sadly, whatever legacy the table was meant to ensure was stuck here on Splendor, concealed in secret.
“You alright there, Tano?”
Rex had just come out of the hallway heading towards the open kitchen. Ahsoka was shaken out of her fascination with the table. She looked at Rex and spooned the rice into the serving bowl,
“Yes. Why?”
“Nothing, just saw you staring at the table in a daze. I think I’m still on edge from the last time we tried to sit down and eat something at night.”
Ahsoka then thought of something strange and bold; it was a wild idea. She wasn’t entirely sure how Rex would react, but she at least had past evidence that he had gone along with plans of hers that were undoubtedly riskier. This one was very different and would be significant. But she felt like it was right.
“Rex I’ll finish up getting the food and drinks on the table. But can you do me a favor?”
Standing next to Ahsoka at the kitchen’s island, he then turned and leaned his back against the counter as she busied herself to get the food ready. He tapped her right shoulder with his right shoulder, “A favor huh? As long as I get a kiss first, I’ll do anything you ask,”
“Oh yes, clean teeth! Let me kiss!”
She should have known better than to keep holding onto the spoon full of potato wedges, but there they were kissing sweetly again with Ahsoka’s hand awkwardly holding the wooden spoon. Not wanting to let their lips part, Rex smiled on her lips and peeked one eye to help her release the captive utensil and set it down on the counter.
Ahsoka could barely register what was happening as she delighted in the taste of him combined with the fresh sweet mint. She parted her lips to let her eager tongue lick and taste every part of his mouth. She let a small moan escape at the way he moved his tongue and lips with hers, keeping in time and steady with her hunger for more of him.
Rex slowly traced, barely touching, both of her lekku tails down to the tips against her breast, causing Ahsoka to quiver her lips and lose command of her mouth completely. He took that signal for what it was, a sure sign that it gave her pleasure. He closed his lips over her bottom lip before giving it a slight bite, and she gripped his bicep tightly. Now ghosting his fingertips back up her tails, he kept his lips close to hers as he spoke,
“So…what’s this favor I’m going to do for you?”
Ahsoka was a bit breathless and dazed from the combination of touch and kisses,
“My–my cloak. It’s hanging…by the….”
“By the front door? Yes?”
“Yes…front door…Rex, that feels so good.”
“You want me to get your cloak? For dinner?” Rex couldn’t help that his confusion invaded his tone and made them both calm down a bit.
“Yes, please,” Ahsoka returned the favor with a nibble at Rex’s earlobe and a scrape of teeth just underneath. She wondered if the Kaminoans knew that a stellar clone officer could be completely undone and disarmed with a few nibbles and licks. Now he was the one who was breathless as she whispered in his ear, “You’ll see why very soon, Rex,” she then pulled back, “I hope you’ll like my idea.”
Rex headed towards the front door where her cloak had been hanging on a hook by the entryway without another hint of inquiry. As he brought it back to her, he had that familiar “What next” posture she knew too well.
“You sit at the table. Get off your feet already.”
“You sure? I want to know what this little surprise of yours is?”
“You will see. Sit and I’ll get the food on the table, I’m starving.”
She left the cloak on the counter, finished setting up the food as quickly as possible, and brought them over to the table. As she headed back to the kitchen, she noticed that Rex had served her plate first.
There. That is the reason I know I am making the right choice.
She poured two tall glasses of water and came back to place them on the table.
Rex was serving himself as he spoke,
“I went ahead and gave you a bit of everything. Whatever you don’t want, I will gladly eat.”
“It’s perfect, thank you.”
“Sit down already.”
“Real quick, Rex. I promise. You can start eating.”
He took a sip from his glass and kept his eye on her, thoroughly intrigued.
What is she up to now?
Rex watched in astonishment as Ahsoka took a knife to her cloak, a cloak that Anakin had given her just before they left for their mission on Mandalore.
“What are you doing?!” He stood up from the seat at the table to look over the island counter.
“Rex will you calm down, I’m almost—” she grunted as she yanked a long strip of fabric from the entire bottom hem of her cloak.
“There!” She walked back over, carrying the long, ratty, and depressing strip of useless fabric that looked like a dried dead eel carcass. Then she rolled it up neatly, attempting to make it neat, and set it down on the table before taking a seat in the chair next to his. The arrangement of the table was same side seating. The half-moon shape made the table’s arrangement only for a couple to sit close, facing out together as opposed to facing each other.
“Eat, Rex.”
They both finally dug in, but Rex was still looking at the bizarre addition of a giant strip of her cloak.
“You going to tell me what that’s all about?”
“Hmmm…later. Once we are done eating.” She said with a twinkle in her eye and a sneaky grin as she crunched on a potato wedge,
“These came out perfect by the way. ”
“Good, because we almost burned them. Thank goodness you said something.”
“I can’t believe you're eating jerky. Rex, you hate jerky.”
“I know, but right now I could eat our whole stock of it.”
“There’s not much, right?”
“No. There isn't. We probably have five days of food, you and I could stretch that to another week. But uh, we’d have to reconsider our… recreational activities and not use too much energy.”
“Oh, well that's bad news all around. I’m rather enjoying our—”
“Here it comes.”
“—, recreational activities.” Now, Rex’s laugh at Ahsoka making fun of him was layered with a soft adoration for how beautiful she looked, even when she did that goofy expression. She was chewing food he couldn’t stand, making fun of him with that silly voice, and all he wanted to do was kiss her. Kiss every inch of her and let her drive him crazy again and again.
“It’s not as funny anymore? I’m sorry, I’ll stop doing it.”
“Oh, no it's still funny. I’m just….”
I’m just in love with you, Ahsoka. Don’t mind me.
“You look so cute when you do it.” Rex went back to eating, not only to satisfy his hunger but also to get himself to calm down a bit and not look like a lovesick sap.
“I look cute?” Ahsoka appeared flattered but confused and was blushing. He noticed the markings on her tails looked darker, and her eyelashes were blinking rapidly until she somehow managed to look up from under them at him. His breath escaped him, and Rex wasn’t even sure he would be able to finish the meal without leaning over to kiss her and let it sweep them both away.
“Yes, you do.” He braved his hand onto her bare thigh. When she responded with her knowing and welcoming grin, he gave a squeeze and made himself finish the meal he had planned to savor.
Ahsoka reached over for more dried cherries and offered them to Rex first before she took some more.
“Yes, thank you. So please tell me what that is all about over there with the fabric from your cloak?”
“It’s something that we can discuss after we finish eating. So impatient, Rex?”
“Hmmm…okay. It's very odd. Like that bottle with the metal shards in the kitchen. Oh I noticed.”
“You hate it, don’t you?”
“I don’t hate it, I get why you saved them. But I’m not thrilled that it's in the kitchen where I was cooking food.”
“Alright, I hear ya, Rexter. I will find a new home for them.”
Rex put his fork down, reached to squeeze her thigh again, and leaned in closer to her, “Somehow, I think you know that you can do whatever you want and I’ll still be nuts about you right?”
“I’m learning quickly.”
“You tend to do that,” Rex moved in closer to give her the signal for a kiss, and she happily gave him one on the lips but reminded him,
“If we start this up Rex, this whole meal will get cold.”
“Well, whatever we don’t eat is our breakfast anyway,” he helped himself to some dried cherries, never taking his eyes off of her. Rex was looking at her like she was the next thing he would help himself devour. She felt herself slightly pant before licking her lips. She quickly reached for her water.
Ahsoka was determined to eat something, but Rex’s eyes were making her stomach do backflips as her cheeks flushed. It occurred to her that they may not get through this magnificent meal he prepared, and Rex seemed completely fine with that. She attempted to eat some more rice to prepare herself for revealing her mysterious big idea.
“Fine! Here it is…I tore that piece of my cloak because I needed it to do something special with you tonight, at this table .”
“Okay? What is this ‘something special’?”
“Remember I told you this table was for Togruta binding ceremonies, when a female takes a warrior.”
Rex knew his eyes went too wide when he saw Ahsoka get a little nervous at his response. He reached his hand to hold hers as she continued to let her know he wasn’t scared right now, not one bit. He was in love…with her. Rex may not know how to say it plainly, but he understood what she was proposing now and was so moved by it, he may have been squeezing her hand a little too tightly. He eventually relaxed some.
“I remember.”
“Right. So I don’t really know what exactly happens in the ceremony, because my memory of my mother’s ceremony seems to be images of people’s ankles and looking up at the big table. But I want to make this a little different than what Togrutas usually do. I want this to be our way of doing this. So I’ll ask you to choose whether—”
“Yes.”
“What?”
“Yes, Ahsoka.”
“Rex! I didn’t even ask you the question yet?”
“Either the question is, ‘if you have chosen me, then do I accept?’ The answer is yes. Or the question is, ‘do I choose you to love and fight beside?’ Absolutely, yes. So…the answer is: yes.”
“You didn’t even think about it.”
“Oh, I have thought about it. I can’t stop thinking about it. That's all I think about now, Ahsoka.”
His face was soft, but his tone was grave, with his honey golden eyes looking straight into hers that were widened and hanging on his every word.
“Ahsoka, when we were making our escape from the Tribunal, when you missed your landing, leaping to the ship? I almost had a heart attack, thinking I would lose you then. I would not lose you again. Then yesterday, when you were choking and then just, kriff ! You just flopped over and wouldn’t move at all. I sat with you outside on the balcony, just devastated. You don’t know this, but I was a slobbering mess. I…I had no idea whether you were hurt, dying, would ever come back.
She was tracing his stubbled cheek now and settled her palm to cup his face to help him get out his admission.
“I had just got you back in my life and was so happy for the first time, after a very difficult year without you, and then I thought you were gone…again.”
He kissed the palm of her hand, as his energy grew animated,
“But I swear, something came to me, and you know I‘m no good with this Force stuff, but something, a bird, but not just a bird, it changed its shape, I can’t explain it. It made me feel better, it made me see what you mean to me. And ever since we kissed, I can’t stop thinking about how much I love you, Ahsoka. I really am in love with you.”
Ahsoka’s fingers went to her mouth with how moved her emotions were and how golden and genuine Rex’s Force signature felt. It filled every cell in her body with light and joy.
“So, yes, Ahsoka, I have chosen you and would be honored that you chose me as your first warrior.”
“ First ? Rex, what do you mean, first?”
“You will outlive me, Ahsoka. We both know that will happen. But as long as I am alive—’
“As long as you are alive, Rex, I choose you to be my only warrior . My only love , Rex.”
They were both allowing the happy tears of emotional relief to puddle up and fall from their eyes. Rex stood her up with him to hold her closer to him. Ahsoka melted into him; her face pressed up against his black liner to feel his heart beating steady and strong.
Ahsoka had thought this would go a lot differently, but here they were, confessing their love for each other. Neither of them knew if it was the years they had fought side by side or the time apart when the absence forced them to see how much they needed each other.
But this devastating and challenging week they endured together finally broke all defenses: the victory on Mandalore, Order 66, and now ending up here on Splendor.
No matter what was waiting for them when they would leave here, they chose to bind their hearts as one incredibly powerful love.
Ahsoka took the long strip of brown fiberweave in her hand, unraveling it as Rex let the length of it fall into his. They already knew how to follow each other’s instincts and needs without words.
“So, I’m pretty sure we, um, say some words to each other as we wrap our hands together.”
“Okay. Sounds good. You’ve thought of some already?”
“I did, if I can remember them now. I’m a bit scattered, but very happy right now.”
“Me too, Ahsoka. I’ll follow your lead and will make it my own.”
“Okay,” both of their left hands were holding different ends of the cloth, and she stood up on her toes to kiss him before they took the next step.
They took each other’s right hand and clasped them together, interlacing their fingers. Ahsoka and Rex placed their right hands in the center of the strip of cloth with the extra length hanging down on either side. Then they crisscrossed the fabric one wrapping at a time to symbolize the binding of lives and their love as they spoke words that came to them,
“Rex, I have chosen you. I am bound to your life and you are bound to mine. There will never be distance between our hearts. They are one now. My love for you is like no other. Your love for me is mine to protect. Wherever I am, I am always yours. Now and forever, until I die.”
“Ahsoka, I have chosen you to be mine. I am bound to you with loyalty and honor. You and your love are mine to protect. My love for you is like no other I’ll ever know. Wherever I am, I will be yours. Now and forever, until I die.”
The quiet, heavy realization of what they both had professed rang like the bells from the top tower of the Jedi Temple. It was impossible to ignore as it signaled that a new life for them would begin from this moment forward. There was no turning back to their old life; it was gone now. They had survived, escaped, and were now together. The only way was forward, and all they could feel now was the elation and love that pulled them together like magnets to share the fiery kiss that sealed their ceremonial union between them.
Rex squeezed Ahsoka in his one-armed embrace around her waist. Their bound hands rested in between their hearts. Ahsoka’s free hand was tracing his neck and up through his buzzed golden hair. Her touch sent a wave of rolling warm sensations throughout every muscle of his body, and he couldn’t help but respond by lifting her off the floor with all the strength in his one arm.
Pressed against his body as he lowered her back down, Ahsoka began to feel a great revelation in the Force. From the tips of her montrals, down to her toes, the power was growing from a small trace of light to a shining beacon within her chest and down to her core. She would remember this moment as the sum of so many chaotic parts that made them both whole now.
Rex wanted both hands to pick her up and swing her around, but he also didn’t want ever to let go of their bound hands pressed against the scar on his chest that proved he may actually be the luckiest bastard in the galaxy.
“I want to carry you into the bedroom right now.”
“Well I want you right here on the table, Rex.”
He growled into her neck and lekku tail, even allowing his face stubble to softly trace her lekku, causing that wonderful sensation of wetness to slick her bare thighs again.
Rex reached behind her with his one free hand and pushed the food out of the way to the edges of the table. The basket of wheat wafers was the first to fall, followed by the burnt potatoes. She eased herself up into the table and spread her legs to bring his hips toward her by closing her legs around him.
“Help me take off the binding, Rex. Something tells me we’ll need both our hands and I’m nervous one or both of us would tear it.”
He quickly moved to help her loosen their hands,
“Here, I got it. Good call,” as they both smiled and giggled, moving the fabric to slide off in a bundle. Rex began to roll the material back up neatly with a reverence for what it symbolized. He dropped it on the chair seat as it seemed the table might not be the safest place for anything right now.
“I um, I have a surprise of my own for you, if that’s alright?” His fingers were gently kneading the flesh of her thighs wrapped around him.
“You do? What…what’s that, Rex?” she pulled his black liner up for him to take off and she kissed the scars on his chest as he pulled off his shirt quickly.
He was nudging the chairs out of the way as he spoke,
“I’m not exactly sure. I’ve never done this before. So you’ll have let me know if I’m doing it right, okay?”
“I have no idea what you’re going to do, but I’ll do my best?” Ahsoka watched him, but her sense of him was full of excitement and desire. Rex leaned into her mouth, knowing she could hear the slightest whisper,
“Ahsoka, I want to kiss you down here,” Rex pulled back slightly to see her reaction.
Her realization clicked before his eyes. Her imagination had not been creative enough even to realize this was something that was done. But the moment Rex made his request, Ahsoka could barely contain her lust for what this would feel like.
She was speechless and only could eagerly nod as she bit her bottom lip to hold on to the smile that was stretching from cheek to cheek.
Rex began to kiss her neck and moved his hand to trace her lower lips that were bare, slick, and warm. He guided his kisses to gently follow a slow but hungry path over her breasts, letting his nose trace her lekku tail.
Rex moved to kneel down before her, taking command of his position, the same way he would confidently take command of a ship’s control panel. He looked back up at her puzzled face, breathing heavy and focused on every move he made. The full lips of her mouth were parted, her tongue licking with desire, and her chest was moving up and down with her heavy breaths. The image was fanning the flame of heat building within him, and he moved to kiss her stomach gently. Even though he technically didn’t know what he was doing, he didn’t need to worry about wanting to figure it out. He licked his lips, anticipating how she would taste and feel. He wanted to please her with this act. Rex wanted Ahsoka to know that the man she chose was capable of satisfying her like this whenever she wanted him to, and it would equally please him to do this for her.
Speechless with desire, she watched the hungry look in Rex’s eyes as he moved from looking up at her to looking down to see all of her down there. He hadn’t even kissed her yet but her body was writhing with anticipation.
“I’m flying blind here, Ahsoka. So you’ll have to tell me what to do. I want to make you feel good right now, okay?”
“Okay.”
He pulled her legs over his shoulders as she braced back on her hands. He kissed her outer lips gently. The wetness of his lips on her soft skin down there caused Ahsoka to heave her shoulders over. She had to reach for his head to catch herself, and she curled with delight watching him taste her.
Rex let his tongue follow the stripes that adorned her outer lips before pulling his lips together over one of the sensitive spots she casually had pointed to in the bathtub. Hearing her moan “oh” so deep and low was incredible. He started using his tongue to explore her most sensitive spots. She whimpered each inhaling breath and keened out her exhaled breaths. Rex looked back up to see the overwhelmed expression on her face as she then softly begged him, calling out his name,
“Rex, please don’t stop. Please keep going.”
She was entirely at his command like this. Rex had one hand sneaking under her tunic to grab at her breasts and could start to feel his own excitement growing in his now thankfully looser pants. She responded by taking her whole tunic off and was now laid out on the table completely nude.
He remembered some idiot told him this was the best way to keep from finishing too early, but he quickly realized that may have been bad intel. For Rex, hearing and feeling Ahsoka getting off from what he was doing to her was getting him as hard and ready as an ion cannon. He decided to pace himself and get serious about getting her to climax. He began assessing all of her body to establish the best plan of action before launching into his fully coordinated action.
He kissed her inner thighs, keeping his eyes on her to watch her desire. She pouted those lips, and he couldn’t help it, he felt bared his teeth, and it took everything in him to only bite gently, but Ahsoka’s response that was half a growl and half a giggle, leading him to ask,
“Did you like that?”
“Yes! Do it again, Rex.”
He kissed her inner thigh wet with his tongue and kept his eyes looking at her as he bit, enough to mark he knew, and she yelped gloriously, clenching her teeth.
He wanted to keep working on where to please her with his mouth, but each time he looked, he would get lost in fascination,
“I just want to keep looking at how beautiful you are down here,” he moved his hands to grip her thighs and kissed her outer lips again.
Then he moved them to gently spread her lips open and look in wonder, as he then kissed and licked, adoring the beauty of what he saw. His eyes closed in ecstasy each time he did. He could taste her wetness, and it was the sweetest flavor of Ashoka’s scent, mixed with the wet intimate desire for him. Rex pulled back to study her inner lips and wanted to find exactly where her clit was before he got lost in his own pleasure of tasting her. He had to tell her,
“Ahsoka, it's incredible. It reminds me of a fire lily in bloom.”
“Wha-what?” Ahsoka could barely have a conversation right now, but she was pretty sure Rex just said her vagina looked like a flower and could only smile at how sweet and gentle he was being.
“Your lips, the inner ones here,” he kissed and licked them, up towards where he was sure her clit was, “they’re soft like flower petals.”
“Oh Force, Rex! Please do that again.”
“This?” He licked again and couldn’t help but want to kiss her there the way he would on her mouth, letting his lips and tongue work together to please her”
“Keep it doing that…there! Oh, there!”
Rex then let his mouth do what it wanted to in that very spot as he listened and peeked his eyes for her response. She was definitely responding now, and so was he. He kept the rhythm of one movement and listened to her call out for more when he attempted another. She then started arching her back, causing the bowl of cherries to fall off the edge of the table when her hands tried to find a better position.
“Rex, please, I want you in me now.”
He moaned at her plea, and the vibrations of his voice against her caused her to squeal with delight. Rex was more determined than ever to get her over the edge. She certainly sounded like she was close. He decided to slide his finger inside her as he continued to satisfy her with his mouth. He could feel her clenching around his finger, so he slid another one in, and she groaned with pleasure,
“Rex, yes. Use your tongue too, oh it feels so good,” she was grabbing at her breasts and twisting her nipples.
Rex easily continued but was longing to kiss her mouth and breasts too. He so wanted to watch her beautiful face when it was sultry and heated. He sucked on her down there like he wanted to suck on and lick her nipples.
Then she really started to clench around his penetrating fingers.
Her breath was caught at the pleasure. Every muscle was tight and tense at the approaching climax. Her throat ached audibly as it too seized up - cracking at the strain - allowing nothing more than a long choked whimper to escape past clenched teeth and pursed lips. Rex was now holding her hips down to keep her from bucking off the table. She reached her peak and cried out his name with an exhaled moan of astonishment at the enormous wave of pleasure he had just given her. He rode it out with her, easing up when he heard her breathing sound steady again.
Ahsoka looked spent but quickly recovered and sat up immediately. She pulled his face to bring his whole body up to hers. Rex complied readily and was now standing over her. She was kissing him, his face covered in her wetness, and she didn’t care one bit. If he wasn't mistaken, she seemed to love it. She kissed him all over, practically drunk appreciation,
“That was incredible, Rex! It felt so good.”
Rex was enthralled and palming at his erection when Ahsoka placed her hand on his to feel him. He let her take over and mimic the movement while he cupped her face, pressed his cheek to hers, and felt the warmth and power of her hand excite his lust further.
He then noticed she had slight tears in the corners of her eyes, which made his eyes widen with concern as he wiped them away.
“Were you crying?”
She chuckled, “Probably!” She was now undoing the drawstring of his pants, and he gladly experienced her take command of their next moves,
“I want to feel you in me, Rex.” She pulled his pants down, and they fell to the floor. There she saw his manhood in that wondrous state, thick, hard, and commanding attention from her instantly. She noticed that some of his own slick had already started leaking. The thought of Rex getting so turned on from pleasing her drove Ashoka wild.
He had a hold of his hardened length now and brought her hand to hold it too. Ahsoka held it firmly. She wanted to feel his skin in her hand and the grip that could excite him. He then guided his hips to slide himself into her slowly. Ahsoka‘s breath was stuck as she took in the feel of him sheathing himself into her. Then he went in even deeper, and he practically collapsed against her shoulder. He worked at his pace as he kissed her neck and lekku. Gripping his back and shoulder muscles, Ahsoka was mesmerized by the sight of him thrusting into her when she looked down. His facial expressions were intoxicating as the friction and pounding shook her and made her body yearn for him to keep going.
By now, she had given up trying to make sense of the noises her body was calling out with each roll of pleasure that he rocked into her. When he would close his beautiful eyes, she saw him curse quietly about how she felt so good. And just when she thought she could keep up with what he was doing, he would then get a rhythm that would cause her both to brace herself and completely let go.
She noticed one particular shift in his facial expressions that she will never forget. In a matter of moments, when she pushed up on her arms to match his hips, Rex’s face went from a grown man’s intense and determined snarl to the mesmerized wonder of a boy, completely in awe of her.
He grabbed at her breasts to squeeze, lick and bite, causing her to lean back some more, and she widened her legs. She then arched her back fully and bucked her hips against him, and now they both were grunting and moaning with abandon.
The table was sturdy, not budging one bit with all they were doing. Rex then growled, and she heard his voice tremble,’
“Ahsoka, stars! Fuck…I’m…uh….”
“Do it, Rex. I want to feel you finish in me. Pleeeeeease don’t stop!”
His pace went from deep, strong thrusts to a wild man out to ravage her. Her back was flat on the table, and Rex braced his arms on either side of her. Rex’s pounding didn’t stop him from letting his lips and tongue express all his pleasure on her breasts and her curled lekku tail and as Ashoka was nearing a peak of climax. When Rex fully released his, her Force sensitivity took in his orgasm, and she wailed in the bliss of white light that ran through her veins and burst from her chest.
She wasn’t even sure where she was for a few seconds. Her whole body was experiencing an overwhelming cascade of pleasure beyond her mental ability to register in real-time.
When she finally got her bearings, she felt Rex’s body as it collapsed onto her chest. They were both smiling and laughing as they praised each other’s skin with kisses.
“What am I going to do with you, Ahsoka? Kriffing Maker of Men , that was the best thing I’ve ever experienced in my life!” He was kissing her all over as she tried to remember how to speak. When Rex stood up and slowly pulled out of her, she whimpered. She felt so good and satisfied,
“Rex, that was incredible. You’re incredible.”
“You’re going to make me blush, Ahsoka. ”
Still smiling, Rex then looked up towards the balcony; soon, his face was frozen. Then he quickly darted his eyes and turned to scope the entire perimeter of the balcony.
“Rex, what is it?” She sat up and turned to look out where he looked and was equally shocked.
The quiet night and once darkened lagoon and forest outside were now lit with vibrant colors, glowing with bioluminescence. The lagoon swirled with a purple light. In the forest, outlines of glowing pink and red moonflowers, bright glowing yellow tendrils revealed the vines from the trees. An electric orange and soft yellow revealed pathways on the ground through the trees.
Perched on the balcony was a small, green bird with green eyes that glowed right into Ahsoka’s connection to the Force.
The Jola Moon (A Rexsoka FanFic) - Ch. 4: Free & Clear
WARNING: 18+ ONLY - Mature content, graphic depiction of shrapnel removal from wounds, trauma & grief (post Order 66).
This chapter was written with a lot of love. There's a lot of emotions in this one. New to the story? Start from the Prologue on AO3
Music that helped me get through writing this:
Funeral For A Friend - Elton John, Pride & Joy - Brandi Carlile, Freedom - Rage Against The Machine.
Thanks to @cuteshinymew @catsarefurrypeople for being awesome betas on this for me. Huge shoutout to @am-i-beast-or-beauty for your awesomeness and support! And @m2d2-mm8…you are the peas to my carrots! 💜💜💜
“You said the last one was the last one, Rex!”
Ahsoka was at the final threshold of pain. Rex was being as gentle as he could be with those damn tweezers, and that may have been the problem.
Ahsoka braced her hands on the counter. She was sitting on the small stool that was probably where Padme once did her hair and make-up, two things Ahsoka never needed to be bothered with. Instead, she used this stool to buckle down and let Rex do his best to get her wounds cleaned properly this time. On the outside of her right bicep, she had two decent-sized gashes, but on the inside of her bicep, some nasty bits of explosion debris had settled into a particularly painful spot.
She was pressing her forehead into the cold counter. Taking very measured breaths, she was trying to both recover and prepare for the last extraction of the metal shards that had lodged into her arm while escaping the Tribunal. She was able to leap, run, and soar her way through a crashing Star Destroyer, but it could be a finger-nail-sized piece of jagged metal getting infected that takes her down. It has to come out. They don’t have access to a proper medical bay, and probably won’t for a while. There was a time when every resource of the Republic was available to them. Now they would have to make do with what they could get and be glad for it. Maybe this is when all of the training that replaced their childhoods was going to prove worth anything at all.
“You want a minute?” Rex knew this last one was going to be the worst of all.
He could get it out in one go if she didn’t squirm or flinch. Though he had to admit he would have tapped out after the first two larger shards came out. Those were easier to grab but came out nasty for her. She was tough as nails. The current dilemma they were facing was the fourth shard snapped in half and they had to deal with the now tiny, final fifth shard. Rex had to carefully get an even smaller piece out and he was fully committed to getting this done.
She winced and fought back the tears that were anticipating the next screeching sting, stab of pain that he was about to inflict upon her.
“Hold— hold— hold on,” She looked at her wound with examining eyes. Then she looked down at the cloth that had the pulled debris shards laying in a neat row. Some no longer than her fingernail, another as long as Rex’s thumb, but this last one had been the thin and gnarled extension of the previous one’s odd shape. Try as he did with the med tweezers, Rex couldn’t keep the shard from snapping in two when this last bit just refused to budge out of her.
“I’ll be quick. You can bite down on the towel again,” he said as he disinfected the tweezers again.
“No, biting the towel didn’t help at all. Just…let me do it,” she said with a subtle authority.
Rex was confused, “You can’t pull this one out, I have the angle right here."
“I don’t need the angle, Rex.”
Rex now realized what she was going to attempt to do. How could this be less painful?!
“You don’t mean…,” once Ahsoka made her mind up she was rarely convinced otherwise.
“Will you please hold my shoulders down? Use everything you have if I start to move,” She looked at Rex with her wide, blue sapphire eyes that seemed to be begging for mercy, “I just want to do this myself.”
“Sure...uh, okay. I’m not sure how this is going to work. I don’t want you to hurt more though. Why don’t we just take a break, huh?” Rex was nervous they both could get hurt doing this.
Ahsoka was calm, as she was mentally preparing herself, “Rex, I need to focus.”
He knew that she wouldn’t hurt him on purpose, but he’d seen her pull some risky stunts with herself that would have been worthy of a decommissioning if any clone had tried it.
He reluctantly put down the tweezers and edged behind her, “Okay. Tell me when,” he said in a supportive tone that ignored his fear.
Ahsoka had her right arm braced on the counter. Her left arm was crossed in front of her chest with her left hand just a touch away from the nasty wound.
She took three big cleansing breaths and stretched out her left hand over her wound. Rex watched her face get scrunched up in Force concentration and then he quickly swooped his eyes to watch the wound.
Rex had seen plenty of Jedi tricks from both Skywalker and Ahsoka in his short clone life on the battlefield, but this? This he had never seen.
Ahsoka was grunting through her concentration. She made small, wincing whimpers that were followed by more determined endurance groans. These were not her usual whiny winces that Rex had heard before. By using the Force to physically remove the last jagged bit from her wound, she had to endure her own Force strength to pull only the tiny shard from her body. Each movement of the jagged metal piece was hitting incredibly sensitive nerves and tearing little by little at the flesh it had lodged itself into.
When she vocalized a whimpering sigh, Rex hadn’t realized that he was no longer looking at her wound but he was now watching her face in the mirror. Her eyes closed and brow twisted up, fighting back, her mouth was bellowing puffs of breath to combat any weakness.
He wasn’t trying to think this way, Rex had just never heard Ahsoka be this intensely vocal when dealing with pain. The whimpers and heavy breathing crescendoed into a long-drawn-out squeal that finished with a deep grunting moan.
His brain, or his body, in the tiniest moment, couldn’t help but associate the sounds and he thought to himself, “she sounds like she’s.. .” He shot his eyes back down to his own hands holding her shoulders down.
Standing behind her, the valley between her montrals was now hypnotizing him and he knew he needed to close his eyes and clean up his rarely dirty mind. Now with his eyes closed, he was hyper-focused on anything but the way she was lightly moaning and breathing. At this point, even Rex looked like he was trying to wield the Force. He needed whatever help he could get.
Internally scolding himself for being so insensitive at this moment, Rex then felt her lift a little bit from the stool. She grunted, “Ahh…ow, Rex! REX!” He felt her body trying to lift off the stool and he pushed down to hold her still. He was nervous her slim shoulders would snap from all this competing pressure, “Grrrrrrrr….I gotcha! We’re good.” Rex was now bracing his legs to anchor his weight down. He needed to get a stronger grip and shifted his left arm to cross in front of her collar bone. His left arm was now coupled with her arm across her chest.
“Hold me down! Almost….aggghhhhhhh!”
“You got it. I gotcha!” He was using all of his strength while grunting his encouragement to her. His eyes (and mind) were now focused on her wound again and making sure she was okay.
“Rrrrrrrrrex!!! Ow-ow-ow!” she then gave a long, deep hiss as the tiny piece of blood-soaked durasteel floated out of her and then plopped down on the floor.
Her eyes were filled with tears, as she groaned through her last wave of pain and slumped back down on the counter. Her right arm was hanging limp at her side. Her left hand flopped in her lap. Rex carefully removed his left arm from its bracing position across her front. He was standing there behind her, waiting to make sure she was okay.
Even Rex felt like something was removed from him. He was briefly exhausted but would recover soon enough so he could bandage up her wound. He reached over and picked up the tiny shard and put it with the rest.
He stood next to her now, still slumped over on the counter. His hand attempted again to comfort her and this time, thank the stars, he didn’t panic. There was nothing to be afraid or unsure of. He was so impressed by her strength and what she just pulled off, he simply placed his hand softly on her right shoulder blade to gently comfort her at this moment.
She reached her left hand across her chest and over her right shoulder to put her hand on his, “Ugh, thank you.”
Rex felt her hand squeeze his hand and wondered if the Force radiated after-shocks. The energy of her touching his hand somehow made him jumpy where all of the sudden he didn’t know how to speak or what to do with his body. Surely, at some point in the two-plus years of battles, missions, and flights his and Ahsoka’s hands had touched before? He’s carried her, she’s climbed over him, they’ve handed each other equipment, and have certainly been in crowded hideouts.
Maybe it was the quiet stillness of this clean bathroom? Maybe it was the absolute certainty that they were the only ones here on this moon? Whatever it was, Rex was very, very aware of every tiny touch and small interaction.
He knew he needed to get her patched up so he could take a shower and get some rest. His mind was mixed up and was a little less reliable at the moment. Neither of them needed that kind of nonsense today. He needed to break the silence, “You’re something else, Ahsoka. Come on, let me finish this up.”
Ahsoka stood up to stretch her legs, “I can’t shower right now, right? I’ll have to let the bacta heal it up first?”
“Yeah, you should wait. They’ll close up within the hour, I think,” Rex was once again back to his simple medical station preparing the bandages and small amounts of bacta.
Her eyes were glazed over from the full exhaustion of the day. She was tired but not broken as she sat and watched Rex get ready to finally bandage her up. Now leaning her left hip against the counter, she looked up at him, “Ok, you’ll shower first then?”
“Sounds good,” he knew now was not the time to pick on her by bringing up the bathtub again, “When I’m done, I probably will pass out in the bed and you can jump in the shower then. Just remember to be careful to not get them too wet,” he remarked assertively.
He hadn’t looked at her through that whole conversation. Ahsoka was now listening to her feelings, drained as they were, “Yup, I know...,” a moment hung there between them before she spoke again, “...Rex?”
He was cutting the long, neat, and even bandage cloth pieces with his utility knife, “What is it?”
Rex stopped what he was doing and looked up at the mirror to look at her reflection. For some reason, Rex felt like that was easier than looking directly at her right now. He saw her profile in the reflection as she was still looking directly at him.
“Rex, look at me,” she could also be assertive when it was needed.
Oh kriff. Did she sense what he was thinking before? He didn’t know how any of this worked. He was prepared to explain himself and apologize for being inappropriate. He looked away from the mirror to face her, “Yes?”
Rex was praying that he wasn’t red in the face.
With that same look she had given him on the Tribunal, Ahsoka was studying him, “Are you…alright? You seem disturbed somehow?”
“Dis-Disturbed? Wha—why?” Now he was confused.
“With everything that has happened…since the crash site, you…you haven’t cried since or anything?”
“I don’t really cry, Ahsoka. I know I…well…look, what happened up there…,” he was relieved it wasn’t what he thought she had sensed, but he wasn’t exactly in the headspace to have this conversation, “…I don’t know what to tell you. I guess...I can only deal with as much as I can handle if that makes any sense? There’s nothing really to talk about. That’s how I see it anyway.”
That mostly made sense to her. If something was wrong, she wished he knew that she would help him. Maybe he does. Something was unquestionably different about him. “I’m sorry if it seems like I’m being invasive, but I can’t help but notice...”
“Notice what?” He gestured for her to sit back down on the stool so he could start wrapping her up.
She chose to stay standing and simply side-stepped to be closer where he could finish. Still standing, her body was facing the mirror, but she kept her head turned to the right to look at his face, not his reflection. She lifted her right arm and Rex got to work.
“Nevermind, sorry. I ventured too far into your feelings.” She watched as his hands were careful and steady, cleaning the wounds, then applying the healing bacta salve.
Rex looked up at her and had a curious look on his face. His usually intense brows were soft and raised.
“No, it’s okay. I mean, you do have that ability,” he was now intrigued, “What…what do my feelings…uh, feel like? Is that the right way to say it?”
She allowed a soft smile, “Sure, that works,” she then softened her approach, “I thought I noticed it before when we were…on the Tribunal. When we were talking on the flight bridge…before...,” she took a deep breath, “...you know when.”
“Before I tried to kill you.”
This was the exact type of disturbance she had noticed in him. He consciously understood that devastating events were happening in his life, but it was as though his mental wall would not come down. She could feel what was behind the wall, but he could not or would not.
“Rex, please don’t say it like that. That’s not fair, to either of us.”
“It’s what happened.” he shrugged as he began the careful placement of the cloth bandage. “So, what did you notice before? I’m curious. I remember you saying the kindest thing to me before all that. I remember feeling, uh, appreciated. Is that what you noticed?”
Ahsoka considered where to go with this conversation. She knew something was very different with Rex before Order 66 happened. She sensed a void in him that was full of pain or maybe it was grief. It was confusing because she never had a sense of such severe despair in him before, even after Umbara. She figured Rex had a bog of confusion that even he could get stuck in.
“Appreciated? Um, well I did feel that from you then,” she smiled timidly.
He had finished securing the bandage. And she decided to table this discussion for another time, “I don’t know, Rex, I guess I got confused about what you were saying up there about ‘mixed-up’ feelings. Plus, we hadn’t seen each other in a long time. You just…seemed different somehow.”
Rex looked at her and smiled, “Well, so did you. I’m no Force wielder, but I can guess that your year away from the Order and the war...it affected you, right?”
“Yes. You’re right,” she could see that this conversation may lead down a dark place for both of them.
It occurred to her that she hadn’t sensed any more Jedi deaths or intense disturbances in the Force in the last few hours. The pall of darkness that had overtaken her sense of the Force had not let up once since Order 66 happened. But, the levity and comfort of being with Rex had been nice. It was comforting to know that their friendship could get them through this. Though they could bicker at each other endlessly, they also were naturally patient with each other when it was needed.
And right now, patience was very much needed.
She decided to smile at him as she examined the bandages, “Thank you, by the way. It feels better already.”
“You’re very welcome. But don’t scratch at them, you hear me?
“Yes, Captain” she happily rolled her eyes at him as she stood up straight from her leaning position.
“Alright!” he clapped his hands together, “Now get out,” he chuckled, “so I can take a shower already.”
She smiled, grateful that Rex knew how to snap out of a heavy moment, even if it was concerning how easily he could do that to avoid said heavy moments.
“I’m going, I’m going,” She grabbed the cloth with the shards, “I want to keep these.”
His eyes widened with concern, “Uh...that’s pretty gross,” Rex removed his belt and kama before getting started on his thigh and skid plates.
“You’re pretty gross. Take a shower already, Rex. You stink.” Ahsoka snickered as she grinned and pushed through the bathroom’s swing doors which swung back and forth reacting from her exit.
He guffawed back at her and threw the useless “biting towel'' at her exit. The towel got stuck in the space between the two doors swinging shut. From the bedroom, she yelled, “Don’t throw fancy towels at me, Rex!”
He went to grab the towel out of the doors, but she yanked it out first and tossed it on the bed. He heard her head down the hallway to the kitchen.
Rex was left at the bathroom sink counter shaking his head with a small smirk of laughter. It quickly died out when he looked in the mirror and noticed his scalp’s new scar. He stared at himself closer and traced the scar with his fingers. He looked at his face. His standard-issued face, weary clone eyes, and the old, reliable scar on his chin from his days as a recruit. He squinted his eyes and rubbed his jaw, his scruff will be coming in soon. Oh well. Can’t do anything about that. He was curious to see what a beard would look like. Behind him, he noticed the chair next to the bathtub where she had placed his upper body armor. His armor was all over the place now. His helmet and pistols were in the receiving room, the pieces here in the chair, his kama, skid and thigh plates on the floor, and his belt on the counter.
He was all over the place, and she could sense it.
Ahsoka walked down the hallway to the kitchen with her weird, morbid mementos and looked for something to put them in. On the counter next to the kitchen sink, she noticed the empty bottle of fizz water she had polished off earlier. That could work. She could fashion a cap for it with the tools in the hangar. It was a strange thing to do, but this was a strange time and she did not want to forget what survival felt like. She dropped the five shards into the bottle and left it there on the counter. Rex will hate it, but he’ll live. She put the bottle with the shards inside back on the counter by the sink. Proud of her strange, sentimental trophy, she headed back towards the bedroom.
Then she caught Rex’s DC-17’s and his helmet on the end table in her peripheral line of vision.
She stopped. She dared herself to stare. The tear that was running down his face, “I’ll do it.” His words rung in her head. She decided to face this fear and turned to stare at the pistols that were once pointed at her, “Find him! Fives!”
She reached out to touch his helmet. Her fingertips examined Rex’s signature markings of jaig eyes. She would not touch his pistols, but she kept looking at them. Part of her wanted to toss them into the lagoon or crush them with a boulder. Instead, she decided to keep walking quickly. She could handle stripping the bed and flipping the mattress to get back in a positive mood. At least she hoped so.
As she walked into the bedroom, she headed to the far side of the giant bed. When she looked up, she gasped…
OOPS.
A space between the two swinging doors was revealing the slimmest window into the bathroom where Rex’s backside, in all its muscular nakedness, was just standing there about to get in the shower. It was just there for her to take in. She was now both frozen and burning with shock.
The perpetual motion of her grabbing the towel earlier had shifted the doors to remain somewhat ajar, resulting in her now standing next to the bed transfixed. She had never seen a man’s naked body with her own eyes before, Rex’s body at that. Then when he stepped into the shower, the lighting accentuated the contours of his lean and cut back, shoulders... and the rest.
Oh no, he’s turning around!
She quickly rolled herself over to the other side of the bed to ensure he didn’t see her standing there. Did he?! She almost saw him completely naked!
Now sitting on the other side of the bed with her hands to her mouth, her eyes were darting back and forth. It’s not as if anyone else knew what just happened. She’s now positive that Rex didn’t see her because he would surely be yelling at her right now. Which made her giggle.
Why am I giggling? Why is this so funny?
Ahsoka had the image of his body in her head and was still holding her hands over her mouth giggling. She was flushed in the face and feeling a bit giddy thinking about the way his body impressed her.
Oh no. I can’t believe this. Rex would die. What is wrong with me?
She shook her head and stood up.
Just forget about what you saw...and definitely do not think about what you almost saw.
Wow, Rex. For a moment, she wondered if she could…No, don’t.
She coached herself out loud back to decency, “Ahsoka, focus.”
But she could not focus. This whole line of thinking was way over her head; regarding his body, almost seeing the rest of him naked, her bizarre response of feeling flushed. She needed to go outside and get some air. She needed to clear her mind. She grabbed the towel (that had caused all of this) off the bed and headed out the sliding glass door of the bedroom that led to the balcony.
Before she closed the glass door behind her, she looked back to the swinging doors and from this new angle, they looked closed. Knowing that they weren’t truly closed, she gave Rex the privacy he deserved and with the smallest flick of her hand, she used the Force to make sure to close the swing doors properly. Gone was that generous gap that had given her the unexpected view of him. The view that made her think and feel things she had no idea what to do with.
She finally closed the glass door behind her. Shaking her head to dismiss her ridiculousness for going there in her thoughts. She looked out at the lagoon. She felt like she needed to jump out of her skin but instead leaped upon the railing. Looking over at the clear blue-green water of the lagoon, she considered her next move. Rex was still in the shower, he couldn’t see anything. And so what if he did? Then they’d be even. He could deal with his own “oops“ moment. They were safely stuck here with each other. They were going to have to get used to being in close quarters.
Ahsoka breathed in the clean air and listened to the sound of the rushing waterfall. She felt a wave of warmth that made her consider her youth and how it was gone. After everything today, yesterday, and all the days past, she just wanted to strip off her armor, her tunic, her tights, and everything else and just be Ahsoka, whether anyone saw her or not.
She used the Force to leap high into the air from the balcony’s railing, landing at the edge of the lagoon where she proceeded to get undressed. Her feet were now deep in the soil of the strange place. Her Togrutan feet have an extrasensory system that can feel the energy of the land. Like her extrasensory echo-location in her montrals and her extended peripheral vision from her wide eyes, her feet allowed her to feel the power and energy of a place.
She undressed without a care in the galaxy.
This moon, Splendor, gave her an intense feeling that made her toes curl and a confidence that strengthened her shoulders. The moon somehow knew that right now she was hurting, exhausted, and confused. But it also let her know that it welcomed her energy, her sense of good, her compassion for others, and persistence to protect anyone and anything from harm that she could. She was here for a reason, but she was not ready to know yet what that reason was. She needed to wash away what had brought her here, all of it. She needed to let the lagoon’s waters purify her skin.
Now standing as naked as Rex was (and perhaps still is), she stepped into the lagoon. Its waters were cool, but not too cold. She felt her dark nipples perk up as the chill hit her, looking down at her breasts she almost wanted to hold herself. She felt a shiver rush through her body that made her lips quiver and teeth chatter. As she tried to submerge all of her body in the water, she had to leave her one arm out so the bandages would remain dry. Ahsoka had no idea where it was coming from, but she had the distinct desire to be completely soaking wet right now and just float in the water. Seeing Rex like that had made some strange imprint on her mind and she was doing her best to not sense him.
Neither she nor Rex needed this kind of nonsense now.
If there was one thing she knew how to do from her years of Jedi training, it was that she needed to detach from any feelings like this. But she had never had feelings like this before. The teachings of old Masters talking to a young girl about something she had no understanding of were all that she had to go on.
She turned to look at the lodge from the lagoon. What happens when you don’t listen to the old Masters?
The thought of Skywalker crept in and she felt the lagoon’s water shift to warm and then suddenly boiling hot. She quickly reacted and moved to rush out of the water. With the water up to her ankles, she curled her toes. She stood her ground and stared back at the house. The steam from the water’s heat was burning into her feet, but it was bearable. She faced the gorgeous lodge that had been her Master’s secret hideaway. The secret of love, marriage, and deception. She was dripping wet and naked as the day she was born. She was born to a Togrutan huntress mother who carried her in her sacred womb. Then all but rejected her for her ability to wield the Force. Her ability allowed her to protect and defend, but her people considered this uniqueness unacceptable.
Master Plo’s first words to her have always helped Ahsoka center herself, “Hello good child. You are very special indeed. You will come with me and we will help all who need us.”
The lagoon was reacting to her thoughts of her former Master. She would defend the lagoon from whatever disturbance was invading its peaceful and serene waters. She concentrated her mind to focus instead on the kind words of Master Plo. She was not afraid of the agony that was surrounding the mystery of Anakin or why she was sensing Padme. She and Rex were surrounded by memories of them, but they were not here. Ahsoka and Rex were here and would have to find a way to get through these next few days. The lagoon’s water began to cool down. She slowly eased her body into the calming water again.
She allowed it to wash away everything.
Rex rinsed the last of the soap out of his buzzed hair. He eventually opened his eyes to watch it trail down his legs and crawl to the drain in the floor. He had never experienced a shower with this much water pressure. The water was also at a perfect temperature. This was the cleanest he’d felt in a long time. He sat down on the shower bench and let the water run over him some more. That felt nice. To sit, just to sit and let the water run everywhere. He looked up and in his line of vision there it was: the bathtub.
He shouldn’t be smiling. He should be thinking about his general, his lost brothers, and everything else. He faced the fact that Skywalker would probably kill him if he found out that he had brought Ahsoka here. One thing the general could never handle was a taste of his own deviant medicine. Ahsoka was the embodiment of that fact. Rex’s smile was now long gone when he thought about how much he wanted to hear Anakin yelling at him for bringing Ahsoka here. At least then Rex would know what to do.
Maybe this was a terrible idea. I thought we’d be safest here. Where else could we have gone that would be safer than here?
It didn’t feel right to think about Anakin and Padme in that tub, the bedroom, or anywhere in the lodge.
Rex recalled the energy on the shuttle when he rode out here, all three of them. He had never seen Senator Amidala act like that and Skywalker? He was a completely different person around her when they came out here.
Rex could feel the infectious energy between them anticipating their escapade and the love they would be making. He remembered feeling like the third wheel and made sure to just keep cleaning his pistols and reading his datapad. At one point he just stared at powered down R2 for what seemed like hours.
Rex was not a droid though. He had thoughts. He had a body like any other man. He just dealt with that stuff in different ways. Skywalker was young, powerful, good looking. Padme was kind, gorgeous, and brave. They were the type of couple that if they weren’t together you just die wanting them to be. Rex had decided that he was more like Obi-Wan; he was stronger for being able to dismiss the notions of ever being in love. His brothers toyed with the notion of love, but mostly they just acted like brutish animals when it came to women.
What he had learned in his youth on Kamino was how to deal with his sexual impulses. They didn’t learn anything about romance or love. They only needed him to learn how to handle his body. His body wasn’t his to be reckless with or indulge in random pleasures. It was meant for something greater ...the Republic.
What a bunch of banthashit that was now.
Neither he nor the bathtub had moved, and it almost felt like it was now taunting him. The hot water dripped down his face, into his mouth and he’d spit it out.
Rex shook his head. He was still so shocked. What was Ahsoka thinking? I hope she wouldn't say yes to just anyone like that? Something in his chest burst wonderfully when realized: No. She wouldn’t say yes to just anybody, but she did say to him (multiple times) that she would...with him.
Fuck, fuck! He can’t be thinking like this. He started getting turned on and the blood was rushing down below.
If he’s in the shower, he needs to take care of this now. No way he’s sleeping in that bed, that’s for sure. But just being around her now. He closed his eyes tight thinking about the view of her now longer, taller montrals. She’s so grown up now. Now he felt the contradiction that was his youth and his accelerated age. He felt the insecurity that fixated on what she was thinking when she saw him after so long.
Was she happy to see me? Did I look as different as she did?
She said yes. She was willing to be naked and wet in a hot, soaking tub with me? He hissed as he inhaled his breath, rubbing his right hand over his blonde head. If he touched any part of his own skin right now he was going to go there in his mind. He didn’t need this right now. But he needed something…
Stop thinking about that.
Rex’s regimen of getting off was just to “clean the pipes” to make sure he didn’t “let things get backed up.” This is the advice he would give to his men, the ones who would listen anyway.
Two showers a day if possible, but when in battle, wait until the mission is complete and take a good and long, earned shower alone where you can take your time and relax. Getting a shower alone was harder for his men, and they never failed to remind him of that. He had the rare privilege of a captain’s quarters and his shower. Which was where the majority of Rex’s solitary sex life took place, by choice.
He had a couple of go-to holovid images and fantasies that got him to finish every time. The most effective fantasy of late was a real event, but he only watched. One of torrent squad’s infamous nights out with the “shebbies”, the always willing clone groupies that always kept themselves and all the boys happy and satisfied.
Rex was too drunk to participate but he sat and watched like some sort of bizarre chaperone. He couldn’t handle touching himself in front of anyone else. He still isn’t even sure if that one shebby finished him off at his lap at night's end or if made that part up from fantasizing about it so many times. Just thinking about that night always turned him on intensely. He had watched how his brothers, his men, did all the things he never tried. The sounds the girls would make...
Ah, like the sounds Ahsoka was just making earlier. Ugh, this is so confusing.
Now he’s hearing Ahsoka’s whimper and moans while he’s trying to get off and it’s working. Really working. He was working himself into the twisted up and burning ecstasy of self-gratification. His mind was starting to surrender.
She probably sounds just like that… Oh, man...shit, yes.
The sound of her hissing and breathy moans mixed with those images of wild shebby girls with their legs everywhere and their breasts all wet with sweat.
Think of that wild night, Rex. You can do this. Focus and get her out of your head.
Finally, he got the image back of the darkly lit and musky but freezing, backroom of 79’s. The way Hardcase’s sweaty and flexed arm stretched out holding that one girl’s pair of legs down to the side and her begging screams for more in that sideways position. That same girl looked right at Rex, sitting by himself not too far away, still drinking his now glass of ice. Moaning with lidded eyes, she was barely hanging on as she reached out for Rex to let her pleasure him too. Her eyes were big and blue, too. Fuck. Now he was seeing Ahsoka there instead of that girl and himself where Hardcase was in his memory. The newly updated fantasy was now a full feeling of enticing excitement that started to take over him. Now standing, his left arm pressed into the tile, his right working vigorously on its assigned mission below.
“Ah fuck,” he hissed his tongue to his teeth, in and out with a breath at this rush of possible pleasure that went all the way to the farthest reaches of his mind and the length of his manhood.
C’mon, that girl was human, remember? Remember that girl. Her face was indistinct now, but he remembered how she was sucking her own fingers. Then she was wiping away her sweaty hair desperately, her sweaty blonde hair. She started playing with herself until Hardcase noticed and took over playing with her while pounding into her. With that, she forgot all about Rex. She started grabbing at her own bouncing breasts and was now looking up at his brother, who was pleasing her so perfectly. She wonderfully started moaning to her finish as she scratched at his abs.
Okay, now he’s got it, “Oh that feels good .” Getting the rhythm, there, ah yeah, that’s it…
He now had a tighter grip with his thumb pressing the spot, “Oh, there…krrriff!”
That night the boys had insisted Rex get debauched and laid or there would be a mutiny led by Fives and Hardcase. It was that week. That week they all were miserable. Was that a year ago when she left?
Ahsoka.
Don’t think about her anymore. You can’t think …her longing eyes looking at him, so many memories of her looking to him for…anything. He would always give her anything she needed or asked for. He always obeyed her like he was supposed to and she just left them.
“Don’t think about her anymore, Rex .”
“Damn!” he’s losing his excitement. Now he wasn’t thinking about Ahsoka, he was thinking about his brothers.
That night. Remember that night...
“C’mon! Let’s get some real women for the Captain and for all of us tonight!”
Those shebby girls at 79’s were wild. Thinking about the way the girls adored the boys and let them do anything. Anything.
He was getting turned on again. He can do this.
Seeing Tup with his hair down while that cute and completely naked girl mounted him, him all over her breasts, her working her hips and running her fingers through his mess of long hair. Jesse had two girls all over his lap going to town on him and each other. Rex had never seen that before. That was pretty incredible. He just couldn’t move from his drunken stupor in his seat.
And Fives? Maker. Fives had his face buried in that Twi’lek’s lap with her legs draped over his shoulders as she wailed with her sultry accent and hisses. Rex wanted to study whatever Fives was doing because she sounded like a tooka in heat crying for him to take her already before she finished again.
He tried to be a good sport that night, but it just really wasn’t his scene to do any of that, let alone in front of others. Rex simply got too drunk at the bar earlier in the night anticipating the impending scenario of a room with him and his brothers all getting laid, which is how Jesse ended up with those two girls at his lap instead of just one. And Rex watched as Jesse expertly got both of them off, as only an ARC trooper could.
Jesse. Shit. no.
Whatever erection Rex had started to get was now quickly gone. Now he’s backed up even worse, distraught with grief and pissed.
The thought of Jesse hit him like a blaster. Suddenly tears were in his eyes and he was filled with anguish for his whole squad. His family. Hell, all of his men.
That night before heading out to Mandalore, he had cut the stencil with his utility knife. Jesse had drawn it exactly the way Rex told him to. We were all so pumped and excited for this mission. For Mandalorians to be asking clone soldiers to help them? And Commander Tano was back? ! Rex had kept his helmet on all day to hide the beaming smile on his face so the men wouldn’t see how emotional he was.
I was so stupid to be happy. What in this life was ever supposed to be for him? Nothing.
A fury of frustration and grief was mucking up any peace he could have alone. Now he was furious…because he can’t stop crying. He can’t even get off by himself now.
Jesse. I’m so sorry, brother.
Now Rex was angry, he can’t even have the few things that made him feel good. Just some peace? Anything! He had always wanted that for himself and for all of his brothers to get through this damned war and not have to have them all die.
Rex was no longer fighting the tears, he felt as torn as he did when Order 66 came in, and what it felt like to have no control over his mind and body, his hands going for his blasters knowing what they were going to do.
NO! STOP!
The agony of that moment.
Her face, Ahsoka’s fearless face at that moment was framed on the sides by his pistols.
I can’t…
PLEASE, NO! SOMEONE STOP ME!
FIVES TRIED TO WARN US! FIVES WAS RIGHT!
…The chip. The mission. We were made to kill them.
But Rex also remembered that Fives was right about her. She was the only female in the galaxy Rex would ever care about.
He had said that to Rex as they left the barracks and went out for that wild night at 79’s. After she had left for good.
"Brother, I miss you."
“It’s over,” were the last words Fives ever said to him. It wasn’t over for Rex. He had to go on living and had no idea how at this moment.
Seated on the bench again, sobbing like a child, he was gripping the bench with white knuckles. His tears flowed with the once pleasant water from the powerful shower head.
Rex didn’t want death to be his only freedom from this nightmare. He stood up to stop crying and tried to let the water drown out his tears. He was banging on the shower’s nice white wall, not caring, almost daring Ahsoka to come in and rush to stop him from feeling like this. He couldn’t ask that of her. He was disturbed. He was hopeless really.
This didn’t feel like freedom.
Being around Ahsoka felt like some version of freedom. She had saved him when nothing required her to, “I’m right here. Rex, I can help you.”
His forehead pressed against the tile, while his hands tried their best to not touch his body.
She might need to help him again right now. She would never actually know and he certainly wasn’t going to tell her. Just to get through today and get it out of his head. He knew they were just friends and nothing more. But right now, he wanted to imagine what could have been more.
He opened his eyes and tilted his head to look at the bathtub. The thought of the two of them sitting there warm, calm, safe, maybe even laughing at each other again. He could make sure her wounds didn’t get wet, she could make sure he didn’t lose his mind and cry like a child again. Maybe they could have just held each other for a little bit. She would have with him.
“Why not?” she said.
It’s over, and they are safe.
It’s over, and they could be free with each other in his mind.
Rex let himself go there to feel the freedom of this fantasy.
It was his and his alone to have.
The relief that finally came was intense and wonderful. Rex could breathe again. His chest was full of life again. His heart was racing to keep up with the rush that ran through his body.
Then he let it all wash away, never to be felt again. Rex promised himself, “Never again.”
He grabbed the soap, washed himself up a second time, and turned off the shower. As he stepped out of the shower to dry himself off he noticed in the mirror a natural beaming grin that couldn’t be removed from his face, but whatever. He felt alive and okay again...
...until he realized that he had absolutely no clean clothes to wear.
The Jola Moon (A Rexsoka FanFic) - Chapter 6: NOT QUITE ASLEEP
NOTES: ***UPDATED 11/19/2021*** (Some of this chapter was originally posted for REXSOKA WEEK 2021 as a sample/preview of my work so far.)
Grab your tissues...but it's worth it!
Give it some love on AO3
Super shoutout love to: @am-i-beast-or-beauty @chromia7567 @imnewintown00 @catsarefurrypeople @lilrexsoka @saint-tries @elsaanna007 @marionarnold @raven802-blog
If anyone wants to be tagged in chapter updates - send me a message!
Warnings: Trauma suggested, Combat trauma/PTSD, Beloved Character's Death in flashbacks (Jesse Fans Don't kill me!!!) First Kiss, Friends to Lovers
Chapter 6: Not Quite Asleep
Rex's feet hit the floor in an instant. The warmth of the velvet comforter on the bed quickly gave way to the chill and sweat of Rex's body in full combat mode.
Rex couldn't let him get to her. The first priority was establishing her location. Next was getting his DC-17s and helmet. Rex's blasters were in the other room. Seven paces to the door. Sixteen paces down the hallway. Four paces to his blasters and bucket. Rex needed to get to his pistols and find Ahsoka before he did.
Where is she?!
"Jesse?! Jesse, no! Jesse!" He darted and stumbled down the hallway, springing off the wall to propel himself, "JESSE! STOP!"
He located his blasters and went for them, both hands ready and synced. Rex's arms were now raised in different directions to maximize cover.
"Rex?"
Ahsoka had been meditating in the receiving room but was now standing up carefully from her once tranquil crisscrossed sitting position.
Her voice was at his six. He adjusted his aim with both arms clocking to cover the perimeter as he turned.
"Ahsoka! Get back down! He's…you… I'm…."
His heart was racing as he registered that she was in a night...gown? Behind her was the windowed wall's majestic view of Splendor's night sky overlooking the waterfall,
"Rex, look at me."
Rex was confused and disoriented. He knew he had run down some hallway. He knew he was standing up. Ahsoka was there with him, and she was perfectly healthy. It slowly occurred to him that he was just in a strange bed. He was starting to process his emotions and was a bit lost in his misplaced urgency.
"I-I-I don't know what's happening right now." He lowered his blasters down and looked at them like he had no idea why they were in his hands. This exact pair of DC-17s had been the most comfortable thing for him to hold for most of his adult life.
"Okay, Rex. You're… you're safe. You and I are safe. I'll help you get through this, is that okay right now?"
"I-I thought Jesse—" he dropped his blasters as his shoulders surrendered to relax, "I thought he was here…or…we were there," Rex started to look around, "You're okay? I mean, you're awake! Where's the bird?"
"Yes, Rex. I'm alright now. I woke up and you were asleep outside. What, what bird? I don't know what you are talking about."
"The green bird…she knew us…you were…I didn't know what was wrong with you, Ahsoka," his voice became small and ashamed, "Was i dreaming that? No, that was real, wasn't it? I don't know what's happening."
He was starting to crumble from within,
"Ahsoka? Help me."
She stepped to him so fast that Rex felt the breeze of her motion in his chest, and he slightly lost his footing. She reached out to hold him. Her small, powerful hands warmed his upper arms' bare skin-soothing him back to normalcy. She traced her hands down to take his into hers. He felt goosebumps and the hairs of his arms stood straight up. It was both comfort and fear. He wanted to run, and he wanted to stay.
"Let's get you back into bed, okay?"
He nodded in agreement and turned towards the hallway. But he didn't remember being in bed in the first place. He wondered how long he was out. He still had no idea what happened to Ahsoka, or was it Padme, or both? Rex still could not get a handle on where, when, and how he was at the moment.
She casually went to pull her hand away to walk next to him. He clung to it like a scared child, tugging gently. She understood and easily continued to hold his hand as she helped him down the hallway to the bedroom.
With each step, he felt like he was a cloud of nothing as heavy as lead.
And what was he wearing? Oh, that's right.
He was getting his bearings when he confessed,
"I thought Jesse was here in the lodge," he admitted.
"You've been muttering and calling his name in your sleep. You were sound asleep but about an hour ago, you just started having some nightmares," her voice was soft and calming.
"I was?" Rex stopped just before the doorway to the bedroom. Ahsoka sensed an immediate disturbance in his being. The fortress of emotions that Rex had been living in was exhausted by this siege of grief he's endured for too long.
"We're dealing with a lot Rex. Jesse died in the crash. We buried him together. We did what we could. You've been through enough." Rex turned and walked through the doorway. He headed straight for the bed and just stood at the side and stared at it. Ahsoka was a bit worried, and she, too, was still trying to piece together what happened when she woke up to Rex sitting at her feet and sound asleep on the couch outside.
"I still am not sure what happened to me earlier. I think Padme is gone, but there's something else that doesn't feel like she is. Something that's small and hopeful almost? It's different. I can't explain it. I don't know who that was hurting her, but—"
In his frozen state, Rex confessed, "He didn't die in the crash."
Stunned, Ahsoka was sure she didn't hear him right, "What did you say?"
"Jesse. He was alive, barely. When I found him, I mean," Rex was still staring at the bed. The bunched comforter and sheets in a swirl of softness that looked like art to him. He looked up to see Ahsoka's face, and he just started crying out the whole horrible tale.
When he found Jesse's bucket with its distinct marking of the Republic logo, Rex initially ran to him to see if he was still alive. Jesse's lower body wedged between two collapsed walls that had crumbled like paper. Some electrical fire and burst pipes had made the whole scene even more gruesome than expected.
He spared Ahsoka those types of details. She saw the crash site. But then his sobs came out miserably, and his whole body shook. He collapsed to the floor when he recalled the moment he tried to carry his brother to honor him with a soldier's final rest. In a single moment, he felt Jesse's upper body move against his back.
Jesse immediately began trying to wrestle Rex to the ground. Both men tumbling down, it was clear that Jesse was on death's door, or beyond the grave, at this point. Rex shifted shock into action as he tried to help him but realized that Jesse was trying to go for Rex's blasters almost too late. Jesse was crawling his way back towards Rex, a bloody, blue and white mess that could not walk or stand. He continued asking where Ahsoka was, accusing him of being a traitor and commanding him to stand down. Rex reacting to what was happening, was just about to throw himself into defensive mode.
Instead, Rex simply stood up and was horrified as he watched Jesse pitifully try to keep completing this lost mission.
Rex walked over to him without any issue and set the safety on his blasters. He calmly got beside his brother, lowered himself to the ground, and pulled Jesse over in his arms. He had to restrain Jesse's body with his arms crossed in a locked hold that was barely a struggle for Rex to maintain. Jesse was flailing and kicking the one leg that wasn't crushed. He groaned in pain as Rex calmly told him to stand down. When the struggle began to subside and Jesse lost his will to go on, Rex was prepared to accept that Jesse would be gone.
Though he was certainly not prepared for those last few moments before Jesse left him,
"Rex?! What's? Why did I…will you take off my bucket, dammit!" Rex knew that was his brother, the real Jesse, speaking. He quickly took off his own helmet and then Jesse's. Risking the fumes was worth it at this moment.
"Jesse!!! Brother, I'm here. I'm right with you, Jesse. I'm here," he could see the life draining out of Jesse. Rex mindlessly wiped Jesse's tattoo to feel some part of him, "It's it's not your f—" Rex stopped himself. He didn't want Jesse's last moments to be the realization that he had been a pawn in a horrible game, "It's over brother. It's over. You did well."
"NO! Rex, you have to help her! You both have to get...I couldn't... I'm so sorry, brother. I tried."
Then he was gone. Rex held him and kissed that stupid, beautiful bald head before he could feel himself begin to struggle to breathe and had to get his helmet back on.
Ahsoka was stunned and horrified for Rex; she was in tears now herself. Rex was beyond tears coming out by now. Strangely, even sitting with the grief, he felt relieved somehow.
"I'm sorry. I told you that. I didn't want you to know about that, ever."
Ahsoka wiped her tears and was composed enough to reassure him. "Oh no, Rex. Something like that, you can't keep that hidden. You are not some machine. You're a person, a living, breathing being. You can't just move on like none of this happened, and you definitely don't have to do this alone.”
Rex’s usually stoic demeanor was struggling to come through again as he wiped his eyes with his palms and braved this discussion,
"You were already dealing with so much. I sort of do feel better after telling you. I see that I gave him a moment to not be under control of that thing, or die alone."
"Yes, you did. It's going to hurt for a while. And you know I can feel it too,” Ahsoka reminded him.
He nodded. He knew. "That's why I didn't want to think about it or anything this whole time we've been around each other. I didn't want you to have to feel that,” he admitted as he noticed the glistening of her eyes from her tears. Rex registered again how much he loathed seeing her cry, more so being the reason she was crying,
“Argh, this is, there's just so much," Rex was now leaning against the side of the bed, "It's too much to handle, Ahsoka. What? We're just going to sit around here and be miserable. I don't know. Maybe this place was a bad idea. Do you, do you think we should leave?"
"I think we need to rest and decide tomorrow," she looked very convincing. Rex noticed that her lekku tails were looking drained.
Whatever that bird was that came to me when you were, I don't even know what to call it, asleep? Anyway, that bird I saw had something to do with the Force, and it knew things about my life."
"It did? Like what?"
"When I was a little one on Kamino and it seemed to know you. It showed me when you used the Force to get the chip out. You were so brave, you always have been Ahsoka."
You're the brave one, Rex. Yes, the Force is everywhere and in all things, and yes, I am bound to it, whether I'm a Jedi or not. But what you did at that moment? Fighting the effects of the chip, even for those few seconds, so you could tell me to look up what happened to Fives? For you to think of him, your sense of duty and love for your brother, to do the right thing and file a complaint—"
"Knowing no one was going to listen."
"But I did. I listened, Rex," Ahsoka reminded him.
Rex was humbled, "You did."
"I wouldn't have been able to get your chip out if you hadn't been, well, you."
"Ahsoka, I was just doing what I thought I was supposed to do. What I was trained to do and what I believed was right. Now though, I feel like it doesn't mean anything? Everything about my messed up clone life and the whole GAR was just one huge lie?"
Ahsoka challenged him,
"Yes. it was a lie, and we don't have to live it anymore," Ahsoka could sense that Rex was struggling with this new perspective. She had already been experiencing this for the past year after leaving the Order.
"Rex, listen to me," she shifted her body so that she was facing him, "Whoever did this had quite the plan. It must have taken years to design and then execute. A clone army of millions for the defense of the Republic, fighting with Jedi side by side, getting close enough to one day at their command kill all the Jedi. This mastermind expected every clone to be loyal and obedient. Whoever this was thought clone soldiers were either disposable or could be controlled like mindless machines. But, they failed to think of what one could do. One clone proved their whole nefarious plan wrong. You and your brothers are neither controlled nor disposable. There was only one soldier whose loyalty and integrity was more powerful than the most sophisticated genetic programming in the galaxy. There was only one man who was brave enough to challenge that kind of evil, Sith or not, and saved both of us so that we could be sitting here right now.
And there is only one you, Rex," Ahsoka declared.
Suddenly, the Force met her in the blink of an eye. This was nothing unusual. It can come on suddenly and be gone just as quickly. But this energy was very strong, and her fear was non-existent in its presence. She had not tried to make a connection. Unsummoned, the Force initiated this connection with her as its channel. Ahsoka knew from her years of Jedi training that a pure moment of light like this, when the Force filled the entire room, was rare. The moment when a "Force wielder" finds themselves wielded by the Force instead. It was best to trust and let the Force work through her for its unknown purpose. Her blink was completed. Her eyes opened. She welcomed the will of the Force.
Rex noticed none of what was happening inside of her, even right next to him. She knew the Force's presence was permeating all around them. He was still just sitting there with his back leaning against the side of the bed. He was still sitting there, downcast and not knowing what to do with the feeling. His head was hanging down. His one knee was up as if to refuse to admit complete defeat to his nightmares and distress. The muscles of his body were as prominent as the scars that decorated them. The one on his chest over his heart was a reminder of how precious he was to all those who knew him.
She was heartbroken for her dear friend, her trusted Captain. It was so strange not to see him wearing his armor. Just those stupid, comfortable sleep pants that Anakin probably never even wore once. Rex looked so strange and masculine wearing only them. Maybe comfortable was too uncomfortable for Rex. It looked that way. What she could not see, the Force revealed to her. Hidden inside of Rex were very fresh and painful wounds. His pain was longing for some sense of hope. She welcomed the guidance of the Force.
She felt her body begin a subtle turn as it slowly moved her in her seated position on the floor next to him. He lifted his head when he caught a glimpse of her movement out of the corner of his combat-trained eye. It was the heavy stillness in his breath that made her realize the Force was guiding her even closer to Rex. Still, she was not afraid, not confused, not even surprised. She welcomed the peace of the Force.
Before she could comprehend just how sure and calm she was, she found herself leaning in…to kiss him. The stunned but willing look on his face was yielding to her. His weathered, amber eyes were fixed on her mouth. He surrendered and closed his eyes just before she closed hers.
Her lips made a perfect landing. As she felt his lips receive hers and kiss back, a shockwave of warm excitement rippled through her whole body. Especially down below. She did not expect that. Ahsoka had never felt anything like this in her body before. The closest thing involved a crashing ship or escaping an explosion. Yet, here kissing him, she was barely moving, with her lips exploring his. Their mouths still closed, as if they were guarding two wild creatures that would attack upon release. These two veterans of war smoothly moved with their perfect instinctual synchronization that had saved both their lives in battle many times. It certainly is how they survived Order 66 to be here with each other right now…more alive than they had ever been before.
This was a different kind of danger altogether, though.
And that only drove Ahsoka more to pursue.
Her eyes peeked to see Rex's face this close. His eyes were still closed, admitting his sensual focus. Before closing hers again, she briefly found herself fascinated by the strong, manly shape of the bridge of his nose compared to the softness of his lips kissing hers. Her eyes closed again.
Then Rex shifted his weight to sit up and gain the high ground over her. He took hold of the small of her back, with one strong hand squeezing the curve where her waist introduced her hip. He then pulled her closer to him. As her breasts pressed against his bare chest, they were reluctantly shielded by the thin fabric of the slip dress. She did not want this to stop.
As baffled as she was by this physical awakening, she was mesmerized by the fact that the Force was entirely in balance at this moment. It was the first time the Force was clear and free from the sinking darkness and pain that had been plaguing her since those moments on The Tribunal just before Order 66 was executed.
The Jedi temple had trained her to use her Togrutan body and Jedi mind as "a warrior for peace." And yet, no one had ever had a single real conversation with her about any of this radiance that her body could receive and give simultaneously? Warnings, cautionary tales, and mystical lectures about attachment and the dark side are all she knew of this kind of pleasure. This was not dark. It was like a beautiful, slow dawn. The Force was present and powerful at this moment. It had guided her to Rex. Ahsoka's feelings were in harmony with the Force's will. It should have been unsettling how taken aback she was by the soothing of an impassioned kiss. But to be kissing Rex?! This only made the sensation more comforting, allowing the Force to fill her body with peace as it steadily sailed through a storm of newfound arousal.
It was as though she was introduced to a whole new realm of her own body. How could her body have secret passageways unknown to her? How is it that what she was doing with her mouth was waking up everything between her heart and her thighs? Was that also happening to him? She knew that it was. She sensed his excitement which only made hers even wilder.
Then, with some instinct she never knew she had, she breathlessly began to part her lips open around his. Rex quickly pulled away. But his bottom lip lingered just enough to be wetted by both of her longing lips. They softly closed around his lip to punish his self-control. She let his lip escape and longed for both to return to hers. Even this act of detachment felt incredible. It left both of them to softly collapse cheek to cheek in their mutual breathless astonishment of what had just occurred. Rex took the deepest of breaths and let it out as he sat slightly back, but still holding her left waist, his right hand was still and firm in its grip, except for his thumb that was softly tracing her skin under the nightgown. To Ahsoka, this touch was the embodiment of Rex. Strong. Careful. Attentive.
He studied her with a playfully suspicious grin as his left hand made its way up her arm to trace her skin, stopping where he had cleaned her wound earlier in the day. Ahsoka felt her tongue lick her lips as they timidly curled to hide in her mouth, unsure why he pulled away. She brought her fingers to her mouth as though her lips needed to be comforted from a devastating loss. She had had near-death experiences in battle that seemed insignificant compared to the desperate few seconds of waiting for Rex to explain this pleased look on his face and why he just pulled away from something that felt so good.
Rex studied her face. How different it was from his. He had always noticed from afar. It was new to be so near her and be able to closely examine her mystic, exotic beauty that had matured before his eyes over the years.
"Rex, if you don't say something…."
Ever the bold one, Ahsoka's impatience almost disrupted the allure she had over him right now. Almost. He made her wait a little longer. He wanted to get this right. Her insecurity was both adorable and intimidating. Rex was not a complicated man, mostly because he managed to avoid situations like this. Nothing ever this intimate with someone he knew and cared about.
"Ahsoka, I pulled away because I wanted to make sure I wasn't crazy, and this was actually happening."
"Oh," she relaxed. The look on her face revealed that she was a little proud of herself.
"Was…that…okay?," she pressed.
"You know it was." He smiled. "More than just okay, Ahsoka. Much more." His uncomfortable laugh concealed how flattered he felt. Rex never knew if it was his programming or his hidden deviant individuality that could not stand praise and attention. He never had time for it.
Yet here he was with Ahsoka kissing him. Fives would be pissed and proud. The only time Rex had punched one of his 501st brothers in the face. Fives had made the nastiest comment about her young body. He made those comments about every female he encountered.
And yet, it was Fives's sacrifice that was the reason Rex and Ahsoka had a chance to escape. He was getting lost in this wandering thought, staring at her. But the next thing she said would shock him back into attention.
"I think I know it was okay, but... I've never kissed anyone before, Rex. Or, ever…been kissed by anyone."
His eyes widened with disbelief. Then he immediately corrected his response not to gawk and embarrass her. That can't be possible. Maybe he didn't hear her right?
"You're kidding, right? What about that Bontari kid?"
Ahsoka was shocked that the name just came up, "Uhhh…nothing ever happened with me and Lux. I can't believe you remember that." Ahsoka was mortified. The bizarre memory of Lux shoving his face awkwardly on hers in front of the Death Watch was the moment her infatuation with him turned into something complicated and toxic to her.
"He once stunned me and roped me into pretending to be his bride to the Death Watch.
"I'll kill him." Yikes, Ahsoka saw the look on Rex's face. He might be serious.
"Oh come on, Rex."
"I mean it" Rex's fist scheduled an appointment with that little weasel's face.
"That was a long time ago," Ahsoka was sensing Rex's mood, and his protectiveness was flattering. Still, she didn't want to think about Lux anymore.
"That was a mess. Still can't believe you noticed I liked him. Guess it was obvious how foolish I was around him."
"Foolish? Ahsoka, you should never have to wonder if someone has feelings for you. Never. He had to have known you liked him. Are you telling me he never even tried to talk to you about, you know… or kiss you? Anything?"
With an innocent hint of shame, Ahsoka shrugged and shook her head "no" so faintly. Rex only noticed because his eyes could not focus on anything else other than her face.
"That kid was an idiot. Unbelievable." Oops, he said that thought aloud. "I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that," for a moment, Rex forgot he was the current potential idiot that could hurt her, "You were too good for him. You're definitely way too beautiful for this old clone too."
"Rex, you know I'm actually older than you." Ahsoka reminded him.
"Oh, you know what I mean. And that's not exactly right. I look and feel older. Being a clone does twist up age and all…I don't know what I'm saying. I'm still shocked you kissed me." She shot him a challenging look. He was being self-deprecating, and she would not allow it.
"I mean, the truth is, I've never really been kissed… like that before, now that I think about it." Ugh, that one got out too. Her reaction was a quizzical look with the squint of her eyes. Now he was holding the "explain yourself" card once again.
"I... also don't really have that much experience with this…stuff," Rex had held up better under worse interrogations. Now his truths were simply falling out of him unguarded. It was Ahsoka. Talking to her was easy and familiar, hell, even enjoyable.
Most women, especially the ones he found physically attractive, made him paralyzed. Not with fear though, it was just his discipline and training that instilled a respect for those he worked with that was more important than physical attraction or his "needs as a man." Rex always hated that term his brothers used. "Having needs." It was an excuse to be an asshole. Another person is not a thing that you need.
He had only come to that discovery when he had tried it himself. The few women he had slept with, all strangers really, were so uninteresting to him he could barely remember if it was three or four. He was heavily drunk for all of them. Except for that first one when he was a younger clone, and he really wished he had been drunk for that time.
But now, he successfully concluded that the sex with all three (or four?) of those women certainly did not feel as good as this kiss that he had just experienced...with Ahsoka?! But wait— Rex needed more information from her before he started thinking about anything else... or doing anything else.
"I just can't believe you've never…I mean—- I get that the Jedi were strict, but surely kissing was allow—"
"No." She was definitive.
He was speechless. He needed to process this. No kissing. Which means, wait, what does that mean? How little did Ahsoka know about everything? Rex's mind was trying to keep his body from processing the next few thoughts of what the answer to that question could be.
She caught him off guard, "So you think I'm beautiful? No one's ever said that to me."
She had held on to that and took her shot at the perfect moment. But Rex could return fire with the best of them when caught off guard.
"Of course you are. You've always been. I mean you're definitely not the little skin-n-bones, brat you were when I first met you." he joked.
Ahsoka protested, "Oh, stop it!" as she playfully hit him. It felt so good to laugh with her. To fall into place with her and, yes, feel good. Didn't they deserve to feel good? They could fight off the tragedy and grief of everything in the galaxy with laughter and whatever else to feel good, couldn't they? It was always fun to tease her. Now the thought of making her feel better after teasing her was causing a primal courage to rise in him, and his heart was pounding again.
"Ahsoka, did you want to kiss me again?" He was teasing her. She's going to fall for it. He knows her too well.
As she heard his question, she shape-shifted in response. Before him, she went from a delicate innocent to an aspiring seductress as she let the request fall out her mouth, "Can I?"
"No, not again," he held the sternest face he could muster, amazed he pulled it off.
She looked devastated. Rex had set her up for the perfect rescue.
"I can't let you kiss me again…" he said as he took one last glance at her exotic pout. Then he leaned in perfectly to save the day, "…because it's my turn to kiss you."
Rex kissed her as he slid his hand under her lekku to pull her neck and shoulders toward him gently. He could feel his nerves tremble in his hands and breath a bit, and he threw those nerves into asserting himself as he had only known how to do his whole life as a soldier. Rex may not have had a lot of experience, but he did know what real kissing was. And he wanted to experience that with her. He wanted to let her use him to learn everything she did not know. His lips were greeting hers like a long-lost friend.
Then he opened his mouth, and she dutifully followed his lips' command, opening hers. The same intoxicating energy from the previous kiss was now intensified as the two of them released their tongues to each other. At times strong and intense, at times tender and curious. Their mouths were a wet and fiery arena to battle for who could give and receive the most pleasure, the most bliss. In this battle, there was no loss, no pain, no death—just Rex and Ahsoka.
They were fighting against all the darkness of war and grief to live and fight another day...and the Force was with them.
“Contacting Cut” excerpt from The Jola Moon Chapter 2, “Hidden”
For @12-days-of-rexsoka
Day 6: On the Run/Disguise
I think this fits both prompts🤷🏻♀️🙌😃
Notes: This may seem odd to submit as it’s mostly a comm convo with Rex trying to warn Cut about Order 66. But when your “family” knows you better than you know yourself, it’s hard to disguise what’s really going on with you🤨😍🥺 Ahsoka does make an appearance…
Some edits have been made to excerpt for context. For the full fic, all chapters have been pinned to my tumblr and if you prefer, the link to enjoy it on AO3 is here
From Chapter 2, “Hidden”
…
The hangar's holocom was an old model that Skywalker and Rex got from a junk dealer. The general had fixed hundreds back on Tatooine and knew how to give this one a second life. It could serve the purpose of making contact when needed, but the imaging operations never worked right. For a comm system on Splendor, it was better to not see or be seen, so it was the perfect fit for what they needed back then. Well, what Skywalker needed anyway.
With the comm up and running, Rex was suddenly flooded with how many of his other officer brothers he wanted to call:
Cody, Appo, Wolfe, Fox, Gage, Howzer, Bly, then there was the other half of the 501st that was with the general…Rex started to feel sick to his stomach. Cody…damn.
He can't contact them. Not now. Maybe not ever again. Would the Batchers be affected? Maker! He needed to get this done before he ended up crying on the floor like Ahsoka was earlier. No kriffing way.
Get your head together, soldier.
When at first there was no response, he entered the comm code again.
"Come in, Contact 1122113E10-S2, this is 11991188E12-S43, Come in."
He waited a few minutes.
"Come in, Contact 1122113E10-S2, this is 11991188E12-S43, Come in."
He waited for a few more.
Nothing. One more try.
"Come in, Contact 1122113E10-S2, this is 11991188E12-S43, Come in."
Blast. This was—
Suu was the one speaking, but Rex knew Cut was feeding her what to say. "Dis is 1122113E10-S2, how ya doing, brothah?"
Rex practically fell off the seat and right back into it with joy.
"Haha! Lawquane! Brother!"' Rex realized he sounded so happy but was about to give Cut and Suu devastating news, "Uh this isn't a casual call. You got a secure channel?"
A moment passes.
In her thick sultry accent, Suu is Cut's mouthpiece until they can get over to the secure channel, "Sure. Go ovah to deh rrrollout from deh…uh…deh creshant sequence, you know dis one, yers?"
"Wow the crescent sequence, Lawquane? That takes me back. No gen1 clone can forget that one."
"Yers…from—," she is bickering with Cut in the background, "ugh…dem old days practicing ourrh dahnce mooves in deh rain,"
Suu sounds a little annoyed to be doing this charade at the moment. Cut grunting in the background sounds like he is struggling to hold back their kids, Jek and Shaeeah from attacking the family comm as they squeal with terrifying delight,
Their shouting brings a huge welcome smile to Rex's face and he feels himself choking up a little bit with joy. He's not even related to these kids, but it's so good to hear them now.
"Copy that. Switching now, over and out," Rex flicks the comm channel switch and lets the excitement of hearing that the Lawquanes sound just like the family they do every time he called to check-in.
Rex looks at the comm without missing a beat he enters the code that he and all other clones recruits had to memorize and then manipulate for the "Crescent Sequence." It was a mock mission that was so difficult most recruits never even made it to the final stage of establishing their emergency signal while under distress.
Gen 1 clones had it the worst, the training was altered later when it was deemed too difficult and adjustments were made to ensure that recruits could get to the final phase and attempt to complete the mission.
Now on the secure channel, Rex felt more comfortable but still wasn't sure how much he could say. At least it didn't sound like Cut had been affected, but Cut wasn't around any Jedis at all.
Rex figured he couldn't take Ahsoka with him there. If they could even get to Salucami. He wasn't even sure if he could be safe around Cut himself.
"Come in Golden Boy, this is the Bastard. Hahaha, brother! To what do we owe such a surprise?" Cut's familiar voice was a comfort to Rex right now. Unfortunately, he didn't have time for comfort and catching up.
"Well, it's not good, brother. There's been ah…how do I explain this?"
"Explain what? You alright?"
"No. I mean, I'm fine. But, Cut, listen to me: the clone army has all been ordered to kill the Jedi for treason."
"What? Did you say…kill? Kill the Jedi?"
"Look, I have to be brief and don't have all the intel, it's complicated. So please try to follow."
"Alright…I'm listening."
"All of us clones had behavior implants, inhibitor chips when we were newly made, months old. They can control every clone in the GAR."
"Who?"
"We think it's a Sith Lord and I'm not sure but, the war is over, but something worse is beginning Cut. I understand what Fives was saying now.
"Rex? Did you hit your head or something? Are you drunk? Sergeant Hunter does this sometimes when he gets wasted and his abilities are all out of whack."
"Really?"
Rex now could hear Jek and Shaeeah screaming again in the background as Suu is barking at them to calm down. The commotion sounds hectic through the comm, it's probably even louder on Cut's end.
"Cut, I'm not drunk. I've never been more clear-headed in my life. I just wanted to let you know and make sure you weren't affected."
"Me?"
"Yes, you, brother. You have this thing in you too. You haven't been feeling weird today or yesterday?"
"Nothing different for me. I didn't even get upset when Jek spilled his juice all over the table this morning," Cut's voice is now yelling off the comm, "Alright that's it, you heard your mother, wash up time. Let Daddy finish up with Uncle Rex," then he returned to the comm, "Sorry about that, they get feral at bedtime."
"It's okay. Cut, you need to get this thing removed."
"Uh… we can't exactly do that out here. Besides how it even gets taken out. You got yours taken out, how?"
Rex was quiet. I can't tell him about Ahsoka yet.
"I had help. But before mine was taken out they gave the order. I felt its effects...it was awful, Cut. It was like living in a waking nightmare where I couldn't help what I was doing and I almost killed someone very close to me."
"Your general?"
"No, unfortunately, I don't know what's happened to him. I'm assuming he's gone too."
"Oh. I'm so sorry, brother. You two were close. Was it the…uh...what was her name? The one who left. Did she help you?"
Shit. That's brothers for you...
Rex had confided in Cut a few times about Ahsoka's whole ordeal with the council and her leaving the order. Maybe he was a little drunk one of those nights. The whole 501st was drunk for a week after she left. They also racked up more droid kills than any other battalion that same week.
Rex didn't want to lie again today, so he just avoided the question.
"Look, it's an organic chip. So it can't be easily detected. After we get our droid fixed I can send you the medical report from when mine was taken out.
"We?"
"Huh?"
"You said 'we’ just now."
"Nah, I'm alone. Found a hideout spot for a few days."
"Oh well. I guess I misheard, then."
Rex was certainly not alone right now.
He happened to look up towards the hangar's entrance where Ahsoka's distinct silhouette appeared and was barely taking her steps in. She was moving closer though. Rex needed to wrap this up quickly.
"Look if any of our brothers ask about me, tell them you saw me there on Salucami, that I came to visit and left."
"Alright. I'd ask where you are but I don't want to know, I guess. Some brothers might be like you though.”
“What do you mean?”
“What I mean is, we may not be the only deserters out there, Rex"
"I'm not a deserter," retorted Rex.
Cut laughs for a moment, "Okay then."
"That's not what this is about."
"If what you are telling me is true then there are some serious changes happening. You know you're always welcome here, but I understand not wanting to be found."
Rex is practically whispering now, "I know you do, look I got to—,"
"Rex, listen. You need to be careful…it's going to get lonely. You'll make it through. I just wish you weren't alone right now brother."
"Right...I have—,"
"Rex? What are you doing?" Ahsoka called out from the other side of the hangar as she walked towards the work area, "Who are you talking to?"
This was exactly what Rex did not want to happen,
"Huh?"
Cut was chuckling, "Well! My wish came true huh, brother?"
"It's nothing like that, Cut. Stop it"
"Sounds like you need to go, I know that tone in a woman's voice. You're in trouble. Just be honest with them. They love that."
"Cut, will you shut up. Honestly. We're just friends. Just make sure you take care of that thing."
Yeah, yeah, cut my head open. Right. Hey…you'll be alright, brother. You've got freedom now, enjoy it."
Rex is now down to a whisper, "I gotta go."
Cut is still teasing him, "I bet you do."
"Shut up. I'll contact you in a few days"
"Love you, brother."
"You too."
Ahsoka is now standing there and can see Rex at the comm, with her montrals she probably has been hearing the whole last minute. This is mortifying.
"Who was that?"
"Oh...um, nobody. A smuggler friend of Hondo's, I was trying to get some info about our next possible move." Rex could tell his lie was terrible and seemed to give up halfway through.
Ahsoka was aghast. She took in a deep sigh hoping to remove the severe look of disappointment on her face and knew it did not. Instead, she decided to simply turn around and walk out of the hangar. She couldn't even look at him. She could not handle any more surprises from Captain Rex today. If they were friends at all he would be following her outside.
He was, "Ahsoka…wait!"
…
For the full chapter:
Summary: Ahsoka and Rex have somehow safely landed on Spendor. They each deal with the fallout from Order 66 in their own way before hiking
