anyone asked for self-conscious Jaskier?
It was me. I asked for it.
******* ********* *******
“Geralt is waiting for his companion/friend/lover at an inn just like they had agreed before they parted ways a month ago. He is feeling that tickling sensation in his stomach again. It’s annoying, to say the least. What’s more annoying is that Jaskier is two days late.
Jaskier arrives after two days and it takes him two more to let Geralt (fully) touch him. They do kiss, a lot, but whenever Geralt runs his hands lower on Jaskier’s body, lifting his undershirt up, Jaskier grabs his hands and place them on his shoulders or intertwines their fingers to block Geralt’s touch or he tackles him to the bed, holding his arms and burying him in kisses.
Geralt is confused and his eyebrows are probably permanently frowned by now. But he doesn’t show it. Having Jaskier back after so long feels like going back to the surface after a long dive (c’mon, Geralt, it’s been only a month, don’t be so dramatic).
One thing that really bugs Geralt is when Jaskier sits he always has his lute on his lap, holding it close to his body, almost choking the poor thing.
“If it had a voice it would scream” Geralt commented one day and he was surprised (and a little worried) to see that Jaskier only held it closer.
The other day, it was his folded bedroll sitting on his lap, the next day his lute case, without the lute. Geralt is officially worried. Something’s wrong with Jaskier and he won’t talk. He doesn’t know what’s worse. He wants to say something but he doesn’t know how or what. He curses his inability to form words when is most needed. He wants to be a safe place for Jaskier and it feels weird and uncomfrotable that Jaskier is annoyingly silent when they lie on the bed (or the ground or whatever). Always dressed.
One night they lay side by side on their bedrolls and Geralt wants him and he wants all of him so he goes on and do what his heart desires the most and kisse him on the neck, loving the sounds his lips leave on soft skin, loving when Jaskier pulls his hair gently and guides Geralt’s kisses lower and when Geralt’s fingers are about to undo the laces of his shirt Jaskier covers his fingers with his own hand and pulls Geralt’s hand to his lips, kissing his fingers.
“You’re gonna have to let me take this off” Geralt points at the stupid shirt blocking his view. A view he misses like hell. He’s determined that night. He’s gonna have his bard and his bard gonna be fucking naked.
“We don’t have to”
Geralt’s determination jumped in the nearest lake and drowned. Jaskier can’t help but laugh at his pouting face. “Seriously?”
Geralt collects the broken pieces of his shattered ego and sits on the bedroll. “What the fuck is wrong, Jaskier?”
“What? Nothing’s wrong, everything is fine, we’re fine, we’re just fine, nothing’s wrong, bollocks” Jaskier frantically covers himself with the blankets, tucking every inch of his body in while Geralt is staring concerned.
“You’re not fooling anyone, bard”
“Yeah? Since when?” Jaskier knows he will have to give in soon. He’s making Geralt worried and it’s the last thing he wants. The reason for it is such a silly thing, Jaskier feels alsmost sorry for himself. He knows Geralt deserves better than this and that he would go too far to protect what they have and that Jaskier’s been stupid, pushing him away, putting everything at risk. And for what?
He’s embarassed, he’s scared, he’s anxious, he’s afraid of what might happen. But he’s more afraind of loosing Geralt.
‘I’ve put on some weight the last month” he spits the words out so quickly that he wonders if Geralt had managed to decipher the code.
He had, apparently. And he’s laughing. And he is relieved. What an idiot?!!
“Please don’t tell me this is why -”
“Don’t, I - no, please..!”
“Oh, ok” Geralt is smiling. Why is he smiling? Why isn’t he mad at Jaskier? Jaskier can’t help but wonder if he actually deserves this man.
“So...are we taking this off then?” Geralt points at the shirt biting his lips. The man really can’t keep himself. Unbelievable.
“Geralt, I’m hideous” Jaskier lowers his head and clutches a fistful of blanket, staring at nothing.
Geralt places two fingers below Jaskier’s chin and lifts his face up. Oh fuck, these eyes.
“You’re fucking beautiful, that’s what you are” Geralt kisses his eyelids and cheekbones and his ears, sucking his earlobe “If only you could see yourself the way I see you”
“Geralt..” Jaskier’s heart starts melting.
“If life could give me one blessing it would be more of you to love” Geralt sneaks a hand under Jaskier’s shirt and although he shifts and gasps softly , he lets him and Geralt can finally feel the soft skin of his belly, sliding fingers lower.
“Geralt..” Jaskier’s heart has turned into a puddle.
