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Press Release - Now I Understand Why It Had To Happen

Contact: Neo Mabiletsa 011 799 3439 / 0798849032 [email protected] / [email protected]

Xlibris Author Patrick Neo Mabiletsa Shares his Life-changing Story as a Christian New book follows the journey of a young man whose admirable courage propels him to overcome the difficult storms in his life. JOHANNESBURG, South Africa – His life is a one big, exciting roller coaster ride. He had been through ups and downs. There were too many obstacles on his path that threatened to bring him down. His was a difficult journey, but he never stopped until he reaches where he wants to be. Author Patrick Neo Mabiletsa shares his heart-warming story in an inspiring memoir, Now I Understand Why It Had to Happen. He let the readers see the difference had he given up. He was born on the Wednesday of June 10, and he was given him the name, Neo, which means “gift”. His mother believed he is a gift from God. Louisa, his mother, had to leave him and his older brother home in order to work, and she could only go home once a month. It was hard for them. Despite that, they live happily, thriving on the simple things and making do of what they got. As he grew up, he started to notice some things that are missing in his life. The most insistent question on his mind was the desire to know why he’s the only one among his friends who doesn’t have a father. His mother found it hard to answer, and since he knew how painful it was for her, he compromised to just let things be. He had dreams, and his top priority was to get his family out of poverty. For a moment, he seemed to have everything as planned. He enrolled in a university with the help of a pastor. It was short-lived, but the disappointment he felt that time led him to a different path. Indeed, God knows what’s best for each and everyone. At every turn, he had to make a choice, and every choice has a profound effect on his life. He came across too many points in which he loses hope; he lacks the will to fight. But he never gave up. He never let anything defeat him. He did not let go, instead, he held on. Every choice he made molded him to who and where he is right now. Truly motivating and inspiring, Now I Understand Why It Had to Happen is not simply a story that touches the heart. It is also a story that will teach every reader the importance of overcoming their shortcomings and pull up enough courage to triumph over their adversities. For more information on this book, interested parties may log on to www.XlibrisPublishing.co.uk . ABOUT THE AUTHOR Patrick Neo Mabiletsa is a consultant at one of South Africa's Major Consumer and corporate credit bureau, specializing in credit management, he's also an author, poet and singer, he plays the drums and likes to read non-fiction books, but most of all he is a believer in Christ Jesus and married with two kids. He gets his inspiration to write from his life experiences and monotonous past. Now I Understand Why It Had To Happen: by Patrick Neo Mabiletsa How Life Would Be If We Were To Give Up Publication Date: December 20, 2012 Trade Paperback; £9.99; 99 pages; 978-1-4568-7773-6 Trade Hardback; £19.99; 99 pages; 978-1-4568-7774-3 Ebook; £3.99; 978-1-4568-7775-0 Ebook; £3.99; 978-1-4568-7775-0 To request a complimentary paperback review copy, contact the publisher at +0800-644-6988. To purchase copies of the book for resale, please fax Xlibris at 44-203-006-8880 or call +0800-644-6988. Xlibris books can be purchased at Xlibris bookstore. For more information, contact Xlibris at +0800-644-6988 or on the web at www.XlibrisPublishing.co.uk / www.neomabiletsa1.wordpress.com / [email protected]

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Must a Christian Pay Lobola

In South Africa, and Africa in general, in the black African community - negotiated monetary payment for a bride, is still the norm even in so called Christian society. As Christians we have to turn to the Word of God to determine whether this practice is Biblical. What is Lobola? Nowhere in the Bible, and in particular the first five books, do we ever find mention of the Israelites being commanded by God to pay a bride price. There are only two instances in Scripture and they occur before the Law was given, and even within these instances they are never specifically stated to be a customary bride price. In Genesis 24 a nose ring and bracelets of gold and silver were given to Rebekah by Abraham’s servant so that Rebekah could become Isaac’s wife. Contextually, the giving of these gold and silver ornaments for Isaac’s wife was more along the lines of a diplomatic gift, rather than a bride price. Biblical examples In Genesis 29, Jacob had to work for Laban the father of Rachel for 14 years before he could marry her. Laban though, in the Biblical context seems a selfish and greedy man, whose conduct is not one to be followed, especially in his deceitful dealings with Jacob concerning his two daughters. These payments from Jacob at best, were to impress or appease man. In contrast, in Genesis 2, the first wife that man ever received was from God when the Lord formed Eve for Adam and brought her to him. The Lord did not demand payment for Eve but gave her to Adam freely. The conclusion we can draw from this is that the Lord gives freely and lovingly of His blessings but man is corrupt in his dealings with others. Compare Psalm 145 with Psalm 94. In South Africa, particularly in the black African Christian communities, negotiated bride prices are lengthy and tedious. In some cases these negotiations place great strain on the marriage couple. The essence of Lobola In most cases the interests of parties that have little bearing on the marriage couple are taken into account (such as those of remote uncles and aunts). Not to mention the interference of ancestral spirits where these practices are mixed with Christian doctrine in the traditional African churches. In some cases during the traditional lobola ceremonies for marriage, passwords and codes are given to the bridegroom’s negotiating party to gain access to the bride’s homestead. Often ancestral spirits are called on to bless the marriage and then a few days or weeks later the couple undergoes a ‘white Christian wedding’ with New Testament marriage vows in a church before God and the pastor. The primary reason for dowry or bride price as presented by the elders in African society is to ‘harmoniously’ join the two families but what if no-one in either the bride or groom’s family beside the marriage couple are Christian? What communion has the light of Christ with the darkness of the traditional African ancestral religions? Especially if they are bound together artificially by money and not by the love of Christ (2 Corinthians 6:14-16). Nowhere in the New Testament is a bride price mentioned in connection with marriage. God is consistent in His Word and that under the New Testament Covenant there is even less support for a bride price than in the Old Testament. Do away with Lobola This bride price issue can often cause contention and division within a church, and therefore in an effort to maintain unity should be done away with among our brothers and sisters in the Christian community. The context and the covenant of the Christian marriage are vastly different from a worldly marriage. We need to determine if the whole system of Lobola undermines the Biblical principles of marriage. From the evidence above, it seems this is the case. Marriage blessed by God From personal experience, I give the following advice to our beloved Christian brothers and sisters who will be participating in a lobola ceremony prior to their marriage in church before God and their pastor: The lobola negotiations, ceremony and bride price is best avoided altogether but if this is not possible then I would advise to get married before God in a church first before any traditional ceremonies. This will ensure that your marriage is blessed by God before participating in any ceremony that may contain elements or procedures that are offensive to the Lord. If a traditional ceremony can’t be avoided then examine the procedure beforehand to determine whether there are any aspects of the ceremony that are unScriptural and remove these procedures from the ceremony. Some traditional African ceremonies can be really beautiful with bright traditional clothes, beautiful singing and dancing but all of this can be done at the church service in honour of God; only one church service and ceremony is required to please the Lord. This article is not intended to condemn our Christian brothers and sisters who have already been married through traditional ceremonies with lobola being paid. Instead, we encourage these couples to remember the difficulties they may have experienced and help other Christians to avoid marriage practices that are not commanded by the Lord.

Must a Christian pay "lobola" (brides price)?

According to the Bible it was not necessary for Adam to pay "lobola" for his wife Eve (Genesis 2:22-24). We can argue by saying: Yes but there were no families to agree on any lobola, and no responsibilities as regards the children, that made such a contract imperative. That is true. But in the first marriage on earth God brought two people together and gave the wife as a present and a helpmeet to the man. Love was to be the bond.

We read in the Bible that lobola was paid on different occasions. But the conditions applicable to modern "lobola", that is articles of agreement, were totally absent. For example: There were no stipulations declaring that the children are children of the man's family, or that if the woman proved to be barren the loss of lobola by the husband's family must be paid back in another way like the "seantlo" custom, where the wife's sister must bear children for her.

Another occasion worth mentioning is Genesis 34:12, where Shechem offered to pay lobola for Dinah the daughter of Jacob, whom he had raped. He paid for his sin by death. Another is where Saul demanded a dowry from David for his daughter Michal (1 Sam 18:25). But it must be stressed that none of those marriages proved to be really happy.

We can therefore say: it is not necessary for a Christian who marries a Christian, to pay lobola. Two Christians who want to marry because they love each other, should not be hindered by asking "lobola". "Lobola" can cause people who cannot afford it, to live together in sin - this is against the will of God.

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