#thenewarmyman

[seriesofdisasters]

Seb~

Basher, where are you? 

Don't you ever come home on leave?

I haven't heard from you in what feels like lifetimes, and I really need you right now... why won't you answer me... why won't you come back... even just tell me where you are, I'll come to you and I'll sleep on the floor next to your bed and you can kick me out as soon as I get there if you want but I need you Basher I need you I need a friend I need someone who understands I need someone who won't hurt me more I need someone who will listen and let me be angry and just let go let me go Basher... Basher please where are you...

I'm so desperate to have someone and you feel so very far away and Jim isn't around and Lucas just yells at me and Sherlock can't handle anything and Rachel would be so mad at me because I haven't told her anything about anything at all and I need my friend I need the person I trust I need the one who didn't make me feel alone or stupid or weak and you're gone and I hate that you're gone and I hate me for needing you because you've got plenty of your own problems and obviously you don't need me but I need you I need you desperately and I feel like an idiot because of that.

I miss you.

Please come home.

Please come hug me.

Please let me hurt.

Fix it.

Fix it. Fix it.

Fix it. Fix it. Fix it...

[seriesofdisasters]

thenewarmyman replied to your post://I have got to stop trying to eat while I watch...

//dude why would you do that

//because I was hungry and apparently stupid.

I do this all the time and I always regret it.

on the other hand YOU'RE ONLINE

[seriesofdisasters]

[text] Happy Platonic Valentine's Day!

[text] Happy Platonic Valentines Day to you too!

[text] I miss you.

[unsent] Please come home. I feel so alone. And i don’t know if writing to you will be enough anymore.

[prideinperfection]

[text] Mate, happy birthday. You're presents are in the mail.

[text] Thank-you, Seb. Though, hearing from you is all the present I need. Though, I'd take you home, if that were an option. Don't suppose you're putting yourself in the mail?-VT

[snipersmoran-archive]

anassandaginger

stalkspreyinthenight

tigrismoranis

thenewarmyman

Afternoon, Moran.

[itriedtostopthetrainwreck]

✉

Dear Basher,

I'm writing this from my bed at Bart's. It's not how I'd planned things, but pneumonia... it's not a bad way to go. And you see, I've been hallucinating for a good part of it... Not pleasant. I don't recommend that bit. I don't want to talk about it.

Anyways, I'm lucid right now, but it's so hard to breathe, I know it can't be much longer now.

I'm dying alone in a hospital- I... I expected this in my house... or in Siberia (you'll probably see something about it if you're at the house)... but... not in London. Not when everyone is just out of reach. I think it might be the loneliest thing I've ever thought out.

I wished you and Jim would pop by- you're the only ones I haven't driven away completely. But I have been horrible, and I know you're busy. I'm sorry, Sebby dear. Please forgive me.

I've so much to tell you, but I don't know what good it would be now. After all, what is twenty year old unrequited love and secrets that will only make you angry, or sad... I almost with you'd hate me though.

No. 

Please don't hate me. You're all I have.

I'll say it, even if it means nothing now. I love you, dearly. And not as a friend. I may have always loved you. And I think I always would.

You'll find my secrets when you're in the house- I know it's horrible, but it'll be you and Jim who have to sort things out, I suppose. Just don't hate me. When it's all over, remember me before I became horrid. Remember me without being angry.

I love you horribly- watch after yourself, and Jim, please. I don't have much you both could want, but you'll see I've left you both something- even if it's insignificant. You don't need to keep it... just know it's yours, rightfully.

Please watch over Sean for me. You don't need to get involved... just don't let anyone hurt him. 

I'd make promises to talk it all over when I see you again, to show you about... but the truth is, I think you and I will be in very different places- and you'll be quite happy in yours. So suffice to say that I'll love you from wherever I end up, and I'll watch. And if there's any mercy, any love I've earned over the years, maybe some day you'll meet the people I've always loved, just as much as I loved you.

I love you.

Please be safe.

~IA

[seriesofdisasters]

✉

Bastian... oh Bastian...

My dear, dear Sebastian, 

I'm afraid I won't see you again, my friend. I felt ill, but I kept putting it off. The going to get checked, see... anyways, um... I don't think... I don't think I'll be coming home again. I'm so sorry Sebastian. I'm so sorry.

I wish you were here. I miss you. I feel so cold and alone... maybe I'm being overly dramatic, but ending here alone wasn't what I had in mind. 

If I don't see you again, you ought to know I love you. I think I might have always loved you. Not that it can mean much, but it's the truth. If you remember nothing of us being friends, being together... remember you made me strong. Remember you made me smile, and became a safe, warm place for me when I didn't feel at home anywhere. Remember that you were loved by a stupid girl named Irene Elizabeth, and that she would never have loved anyone else that way, if she'd lived to be a thousand.

There are a million mistakes I wish I could take back in my life, a thousand pains I wish I could have avoided, but none as far as you are concerned, my dearest Sebastian. I could never regret one moment- no matter what was happening.

Go have a beautiful life- I expect lots of stories when I see you again. Until then, I'll be watching over you, and loving you from afar. Maybe when I see you next, I'll be able to introduce you to my babies.

I'd like that. Very much. I'd like for you to know them.

I love you.

~IEA

Your Rene.

[imreallyjustanactor]

Accent

3/ 5

and you owe my lovely person:3