It´s too late, isn´t it?
Arthur Shelby x fem! Reader
Summary: Maybe Arthur should have told her, shouldn´t he? No, (Y/N) has moved on.
Warnings: None, maybe a bit of heartbreak tho 🥰😉😭
MY SHELBY BOYS MASTERLIST
Arthur Shelby,
He had been in love with (y/n) for all of his childhood. For as long as he could remember even. There had never been a time where he hadn´t been utterly smitten by the little girl just down the street.
She was a true beauty to be seen. The brightest smile constantly adorned her features and her big gleaming eyes were always there to get him through the day.
Even when unbeknown to her.
Because simply put, Arthur was a coward.
But he was certain that one day! Yeah, one day he would muster up the courage to tell her! Right?
At least that was what nine-year-old Arthur would always tell himself, especially now, as he hid behind a wall as he saw her approaching in her graceful ways.
To him, she always appeared like one of the most beautiful flowers, but with that came his fear, that one day the dirty streets of Small Heath would turn her bright shimmering colours dull, and some men with their fast horses would tramble the little flower over, not noticing her beauty.
Oh, how his smaller brother would scold him now, for appearing so weak and poetic!
Arthur always had known that his smaller brother was so much more smarter and mature than him. But sometimes he still couldn´t stop feeling surprised by little Thomasses ways. It was truly amazing but on the other hand side, it was getting on his nerves… Tommy always tried to do him one better! Just like now!
Peaking out of his hiding spot, he could see them! Tommy and (Y/N)! Tommy knew that Arthur felt some sorta way for her and now he had decided to test his bloody theory! And Arthur surely hated every minute of it!
Just at this moment, the smaller Shelby was telling (Y/N) something that made her giggle and Arthurs face turned red from anger. How dare he!
Later he would tell Arthur how he did anything he could think of, for his foolish brother to finally admit his feelings for her, and oh did Arthur wish he had.
Because what he had felt then, was nothing compared to how he would have to feel for the rest of his life.
On the 23.December 1900 for example,
(Y/N) and the Shelby boys had gone on one of their adventures again. Just like every day, really. It wasn´t anything new to them.
But while getting older, (Y/N)´s parents started to worry for their daughter. She should rather start to get some female friends… what would people think?
(Y/N) couldn´t care less to be honest. She felt happy this way. Catching their breath after having run a couple of miles. Arthur, Tommy and (Y/N) finally stopped. Laughing along, looking at the things they had stolen from the Market.
“Not bad boys… not bad.” (Y/N) grinned while looking at both of them and Arthurs heart couldn´t help but flutter in his chest. She looked so beautiful like this!
Their friendship with each other bloomed like flowers in spring, not one rainy day insight and oh how both of them wished it would stay that way.
But with foolish teenagers around, nothing was able to stay simple, so when Arthur Shelbys sixteens birthday rolled around, Mary Duller from a couple of houses up the street had claimed to be his girlfriend and while (Y/N) was still questioning her relationship with the oldest Shelby, that threatened to break her heart.
Even though she was still not believing what stupid Mary-cunt, as one of her friends had called her snickering, (Y/N) gathered all her courage, visiting the Shelbys home.
Right in the fucking perfect moment! Because when she arrived and John had opened the front door, she caught a glimpse of Marry-cunt Duller on Arthur fucking Shelby’s lap, snogging him like a fish desperate for water!
That day she had sworn to never ever talk to all of the bloody Shelby-lot ever again! Sleeping on a wet tear-stained pillow, she made a pact with herself, not willing to break it, she ignored all of the attempts from the Shelby boys to get her out of her bedroom again.
Her parents were delighted by the fact that their daughter finally grew out of her rebellious phase and encouraged her, even going as far as slamming the door in Johns’s face once…or twice.. or even trice!?
After that, the attempts of the boys became less and less until they finally stopped altogether, leaving Arthurs heart heavy because he still didn´t understand why!
While her parents quickly seemed to have forgotten about them, (Y/N) could not.
Watching with worry in her eyes, as she saw him running about, only being able to think of him again.
Maybe they had gotten older, maybe someone could say that they had gotten more mature… but well that would have been a lie. At least in Arthurs case. More reckless than ever, Arthur strolled down the streets with his brothers, always ready to pick a fight. They were true Small Heath boys after all!
How would this end? She had known Arthur for all her life. But in the last couple of months, he had gotten even wilder, watching him blow off from the safety of her windowsill, she started to think it was better that way, keeping her distance from them.
Rumours had it that the Shelbys weren’t just low Birmingham scum, but actually even worse than that so much worth actually that (Y/N) mother had finally decided for (Y/N) to not see them anymore at all, not even at church, where she would from time to time at least say hi to Ada… and now (Y/N) herself thought that this was for the best.
Live went on as usual, and as their teenage years passed, (Y/N) and Arthur were, as if attracted by each other like mots to the light, slowly getting closer again.
(Y/N) not agreeing with the things he spent his time with and Arthur not understanding (Y/N) prudish ways, their relationship stayed difficult. While both of them refused to tell each other or even acknowledging what they still felt for each other, the day came when it was Arthurs time to say goodbye.
And God how he wanted it to finally be the day he had enough courage to admit it, not only to himself but to the whole world.
It had rained,
it had rained the day he told her.
It poured down on the two, as he told her that he would join the men at the front. Arthur crown prince of Small Heath just still a young boy to (Y/N) with a big heart and too many boiled up emotions in his body would leave their world. Maybe even forever?
It broke her heart. Standing on the platform, watching the train slowly deport the young boy’s souls turning them into men, she knew that he was gone, he would never come back. At least not to her. No. She had lost him. Forever.
That was all she was able to think of, when she slowly strode home that night, feeling so empty. Why didn´t she just open her mouth!? Why was she so stupid!
Why had she been so afraid? Maybe he would have turned her down…her parents would have been disappointed for sure…Oh, why was she thinking of this again!? It would do her no good anyway!
But still, if she had said something… maybe…just maybe he would have stayed?
Oh, who was she kidding… of course he wouldn´t have! Arthur never had been one to leave his brothers fighting on their own!
But had she known that Arthur was thinking of her just as much as she was thinking of him…Maybe she wouldn´t have tried to move on.
Cause while sitting in the mud, the horrors of war, the worst humanity was capable of doing all displaying in front of his eyes…Arthurs mind was far far away.
With her.
Her kind spirit, her friendly face, her breathtaking laugh. All of that was everything he had to keep sane. She was his lighthouse in the middle of the storm, making sure his small boat wouldn´t crash, would find its way home save and sound. Back to her!
She was the only one that was able to bring his mind to rest, the only thing he had to fall asleep to, the only purpose he saw in holding on, in not just giving up, in fighting on hell in life itself!
And that sole purpose alone was the reason his heart overleaped in joy, as he was finally brought back home! Out of this hell hole.
Oh if he just had known.
The moment he set foot back onto the platform of Small Heath, he knew something wasn´t quite right. But to hell with that! Who would care!
He was back home…maybe the demons of France were still tightly packed into his luggage…but all of this would change, right? As soon as he would see her, everything would finally be as meant to be! Everything would change for the better for him, right?
Finally being able to hug his aunt and sister again, he relished in their precents, and even if he was truly happy to be seeing them again, enjoying their warm welcoming, he couldn´t wait to finally see her again!
Had she changed? Because he did! He finally wanted to scream in young Arthurs face that today was the day! He would tell her! He was no fool! He would tell her and finally live the life he had wanted to live!
Maybe he was a changed man, maybe he had a couple more scars, a couple more nightmares, maybe half of who he used to be was gone…but compared to what he had here, to what was awaiting him, all of this seemed so small and insignificant.
Maybe it had been selfish of him, to expect her to be the solution to all his problems…
Maybe having downed a class too much, Arthur made his way over to her parent’s house, oh how nothing here had changed! It was strange because he had… but somewhat the feeling of being at his safe space was very comforting!
Knocking on her very familiar door, he was slightly confused as a younger man opened up. He had never seen him before…had he? (Y/N) never had had a brother.
Slightly confused as well, the man looked at Arthurs dishevelled state. What was a drunk, strange unfamiliar man doing in front of his house at such an ungodly hour?
“Is…IS (Y/N) home!?” Arthur tried to stay collected…he couldn´t wait any longer! All the words he had to spend night after night, day after day, practising for the moment he finally came home to tell her! They all threatened to spill out all at once, every moment now!
“…Yeah. Wait a minute.” The man mumbled to himself, still, a bit weirded out, before turning around, talking to someone else, and shortly after there she stood, in all her glory.
Looking as beautiful as ever.. wait no! She was even more beautiful than he remembered. Her soft-looking lips, her cute nose, her shimmering eyes and her flawless hair….She truly was perfect in his eyes!
Even tho her eyes looked a bit tired, maybe he had woken her up? Not really having the mind to care for that anymore, he straightened his back coughed a bit trying to find a good point to start with. “(Y/N)” He nervously but non the less happily exclaimed, smiling brightly up at her.
His only hope in life, his saviour!
But all that she did was gasp in shock. “Arthur!” even though she still wasn´t able to comprehend what was happening here she had to smile. “You´re back!”
“Yeah I made meself come back! Just for you! Trust me (Y/N) I am no fool! Mark me words! I´ve been trying to tell you this since….Forever I guess! But I love you! Oh, I love you so much!” His voice dropping into a whisper, (Y/N) could have sworn that his eyes were slowly glazed over by a thick curtain of tears as he gazed up at her.
Like a lost soul hoping for, no, craving for its salvation. But she couldn´t give it to him.
Thick tears running down over her rosy cheeks, she snivelled a bit. Her bare feet touching the cold floor of the front stairs, as she slowly made her way out of the house, taking his hands in hers.
“Oh Arthur…Arthur…”
You fool…
Still hopeful he grinned slightly, taking her face in his warm rough hands, still gazing into her eyes.
“Tell me..tell me (Y/N)…I don´t have much to offer… I am just a broken somewhat dumb man but… I know it’s not much. But I will share me everything with you! I am not good with all that poetry posh bloody stuff… but listen (Y/N) all I can give to you is me heart, but you will have it! You already have it! Please… I ask you this…it´s really not much here, at your front door but…will you…will you marry me (Y/N)?”
Sadly smiling (Y/N) hand went up to wipe away her tears. “Oh Arthur…”
And then he saw, the simple little gold band, wrapping itself around her slender finger, almost as if mocking him in the sneakiest way possible and now it was his time to let his tears run free.
“(Y/N)” he pledged, almost throwing himself at her feet. “(Y/N)! Please! I promise… I promise! I don´t know what to do without you!”
Feeling her own heart sink, she tried to pull him into a hug. “Arthur don´t… it won't change anything…”
“Who…tell me who!”
“Arthur… please calm down! Okay!?”
Wheeling around, Arthur looked through her eyes, right into a soul. It sent shivers down her spine. Was he mad? With his strong grip on her wrist, she tried to get loose.
“Stop Arthur.. you're.. you’re hurting me!” Desperate he pulled her closer
“Please… I promise! I promise…I´ll do better! Just don´t leave me like this!”
“Arthur! Stop it! I beg you!”
Her voice was trembling at the sight of the men she once loved more than her own life, sitting at her feet, bawling his eyes out, begging her to stay with him.
She didn´t know what to do! He finally let go of her. His body shook as he finally fully sank to his feet, trembling in the dirt like a kicked dog. Ambandoned by its owner.
“(Y/N)” a third voice joined, as the men from earlyer stepped out of the house, blanked and a pair of simple slippers in hand. “Can´t get risking you catching a cold, love. Not good for you or the baby.”
His voice was laced with concern and a bit of amusement, as he draped the blanket over her delicate shoulders, setting her shoes down on the ground before he noticed the shaking men on the ground.
“What is going on here!?” Baffled he looked to his wife and back to the man on the ground. “Do you need help sir? Is everything alright!?” The concern now replaced by real fear for a life, he tried to lend Arthur a helping hand, before (Y/N) slowly shook her head. “Everything is fine Theo, but thank you.”
Taking his hand in hers, she was able to calm her worrywart of a husband.
And that´s when Arthur realised. He was a fool! He always had been! He was a selfish man! (Y/N) deserved someone better than him. She deserved to be treated with kindness….She deserved something else than a broken man like him, she deserved more than he would ever be able to offer her! And she had already found him… The one who offered her that and so much more than it. And it wasn´t him, it wasn´t Arthur.
He couldn´t even be jealous.
The alcohol in his blood now making him feel nauseous, as he slowly got up. Slapping (Y/N) helping hand away in the process, he straightened out his clothes.
Oh, how he had made a fool out of himself again!
This Theo-man wrapping his arm around his wife so much more loving than Arthur thought he would ever have managed to do, Arthur slowly turned around.
Facing his love one last time. If she would have ever agreed to his proposal if he would have asked sooner? He would never know. But the glance she gave him, was all that he needed to turn around, trying to not look back.
But saying that he wasn´t tempted to, would have been a lie.
Making his way back home was so much more painful than the wounds he had suffered in France, because now?
Now he had nothing to live for anymore. His strength slowly left him, as he stumbled over the cobblestones. He never was one for talking about his feelings much, but how was it possible to feel so much pain, like your heart got squished and torn apart but feel so numb and far away from everything at the same time?
Silently grumbling, he sat down at his own front door, lighting a cigarette, he really had fucked it up this time, hadn´t he?
And slowly it creped through his always, at least appearing to be, thick skin, into his flesh, into his bones. He hadn´t changed. No. Not even Birmingham had changed. It was still a cruel place. And even though nothing had changed, and he was still this cowardly weak little boy, everything felt different now.
This comfort of home was all gone now. It was suffocating how all had stayed the same, his life apparently of so much insignificance that even though he was hurting more than ever, everything still stayed the same…everything would stay the same, he wasn´t one bit important.
At that he just broke completely, the unshielded horrors of what had happened to him now came upon him in all their fearsome reality.
No (Y/N) to shield him from his cruel thoughts. No one to protect his soul in the crossfire, no one to keep his heart from freezing over in the coldest of nights. Would he ever recover? He had seen them, the unlucky men who were slowly eaten up by their regrets of the past. Would he become one of them? Only his future would tell.
But what future could that be, when his heart laid at the front door of the woman he loved more than anything, if she wanted it or not, he would never get it back. And the small boy he once was, he still is, had to learn to live without it.
@datewithgianni