thequniscalling replied to your post “// so diagnoses of this intense, sharp pain all over my body is...”
//Take all the time you need. Your health is important <3
I have zero clue how to actually take care of myself and my health and this is a realization I’ve come to recently. Because this is an auto immune disease all doctors have done is fill me up with medication that doesn’t actually work because there is no cure, and I’ve realized recently no therapy I’ve had even since the age of seven has actually taught me how to take care of my mental health. I’ve realized a lot of things recently but because I don’t know how the fuck to take care of myself I guess I’ll be lingering on this hellsite :/
This is waaaay longer than I meant it to be but I’m not even sorry! It’s about time these two made out.
Also, I made Shok the Inquisitor because like...one of them had to be, right? Also there’s a specific moment I wanted to add in where him being Inquisitor was necessary...you’ll understand when you read it.
Tama ran her fingers over the spines of the old dusty books, admiring them a little. She wiped her fingers onto her shirt then turned her head. Shokrakar sat in the same chair he usually did, holding some battered old novel in his large hands. “You know, Shok,” Tama began, Shokrakar sighed gently, he knew exactly what was coming. They’d had this conversation before. “You could still the Qun, I could help you.”
“A tempting offer,” Shokrakar smiled and lowered his book, closing it around his finger so he didn’t lose the page he was up to. “But I think I’ll pass.”
“You mock me,” She stared at Shokrakar with the same steely gaze she always had. “A savage walking around with a Qunari word for a name. You laugh at my request like you understand it, you’ve been brainwashed Shokrakar, the Qun can save you, stop you from becoming-”
“Savage?” Shokrakar interrupted, he stared back at Tama with a gaze just as harsh. Clutching his hand tightly to stop himself from losing his temper struggling to contain himself. “If I were to become a savage it would have happened by now, my pare-” He bit his tongue and pulled himself back. He opened his book and folded the page he was on, the placed it down. “Your...I suppose we can call it concern, is kind, Tama but unneeded. If you want to follow the Qun then fine, I don’t...we are not discussing this again.”
“Fine,” Tama answered. Shokrakar was stubborn but she didn’t want to give up on him. She had become quite fond of the Bas, even if he was blasphemous and inconsiderate. She wanted to help, bring him back to what he was, where he was supposed to be only then would he realise how lost he really was. “Please, consider it though? Not now but...think about it.”
Shokrakar rolled his eyes and shook his head. He was stubborn but Tama was persistent. The thought of joining the Qun sent shivers down his spine but he couldn’t be too mad at her. Deep down he knew she cared for him and only wanted to save him in her own, slightly misguided, way and that for some reason warmed Shokrakar’s heart a little. Maybe it had been too long since he felt affection. But no matter how much she cared, he wasn’t going to be pushed into something, he knew she didn’t realise she was pushing him but it certainly felt that way.
Shokrakar looked directly into Tama’s eyes. “No.” He said bluntly.
“N-no?” Tama was a little taken back, Shokrakar was usually so nice this seemed very out of the blue for him, he was never so blunt. “But...Shokrakar...you need to-”
“I don’t need to do anything,” He took a step closer to Tama, looming over her with a look she had never seen him pull before. Her eyes just met his neck, she craned her neck to look up at him. “My answer. Is no.” He was almost spitting on each word, a small snarl on his face. Tama stared up at him, breathing heavily as she felt a small amount of anger building in her. How dare this Bas speak to her like that, she was only trying to help him, how dare he be so rude to her for no reason. Shokrakar watched as her expression changed and his eyes lit up, almost proud that he was getting a rise out of her.
“I’m trying to help you! You ungrateful-” Tama was cut off. Shokrakar’s lips pressed against hers roughly, his hands gripping her hips tightly. Tama’s hand found his arms, tense and large, she could barely grip them. She planned to push him off but instead felt herself melting into it, allowing him to take control, she couldn’t have that. She pushed him off her, she saw his mouth open to say something, probably an apology for stepping out of line but she stopped him. She grabbed his arms again and pushed him back against the old bookcase. It shook, books fell from the shelves and landed on the floor around them.
Shokrakar looked at her, nothing but utter surprise on his face. She began the kiss again, hot and heavy, neither of them were elegant kissers but the roughness, the hard passion was something else entirely. Shokrakar grunted, wrapping his arm around Tama’s waist, his free hand held the back of her head, his fingers slipping into her hair. Tama could feel Shokrakar’s scar against her lips, his beard hair tickling her a little.
A small knock came from the library door. “Inquisitor? Lady Josephine would like to talk to you.” Another knock came. “Inquisitor?”
Shokrakar huffed angrily and pulled away from Tama’s lips. “I’m busy!” He shouted back angrily, his nostrils flared a little, his brows furrowing deeply.
“I’m sorry sir…” The voice had gone a little quieter, more timid now. “She said it was important and needed your immediate attention.
“Fine!” He grumbled under his breath, a few swears Tama hadn’t heard before. “I’ll be right there.” He turned his attention back to Tama, he lowered his hand and unwrapped his arm from around his waist. “I...this...I have to go, I’m sorry…” He slowly moved away from her and exited the library, stopping for a moment but then continued to leave.
Tama watched him walk away without another word or even a glance back, she lifted her hand and pressed her fingertips to her lips. “Oh Tama,” She sighed. “What have you gotten yourself into?”
"Honestly? I hate it. If anyone under it asked I wouldn't say anything but...no...maybe it's because I'm not a member or maybe I'm not educated enough on the subject but what it's done to my parents, the way they live...I could never like it. I'd still rather follow the Qun than the Chantry though."-Shok
