Things don’t really get easier, faces just seem more foreign, sleep is not a relief of a release. Never enough money, sober and sore, ran my legs into the ground, grateful for everything, still empty inside. Extra hours, scolding showers, searching inside for internal powers.
Sitting on the porch with the cats is about as good as things get. 04/17
Shitty outlook is shitty, things aren't even bad. I'm not positive despite what I put out in a professional setting. I think it's funny to look back on what people thought of me before they got to know me. It's generally the same. Maybe when schools over I'll have time to go and see someone. I'm sorta hoping that will help put things back into an order that feels good, and comforting. (Maybe had I started taking something in November when I did that out patient thing, I would feel.... good? Better? Like I was progressing? Proud?)