#therestoftheway

[micheleksdare]

The Rest of the Way, Part Four: Putting On Grown-Up Clothes

The Rest of the Way, Part Four: Putting On Grown-Up Clothes

Recently I’ve begun to tell myself something that helps to quell some lingering anxiety and it’s this: If someone has a problem with me, they can put on their grown-up clothes and come talk to me about it. One of the things my anxiety does to me is get me thinking people are wanting to land on me but holding back waiting for the right moment. In reality, I’m over-thinking crap I shouldn’t be…

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[micheleksdare]

The Rest of the Way, Part Three: You’re Not Just Here To Soothe Someone Else

The Rest of the Way, Part Three: You’re Not Just Here To Soothe Someone Else

For more years than I care to admit, I tried to figure out why people were insensitive and downright mean and cruel when I hadn’t done anything to warrant that. I thought that my mere presence just brought out the worst in people because I was fat, shy, and ugly. I thought that I was too much of a weirdo for people to want to treat me right. I also thought I disagreed with too many people, too on…

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[micheleksdare]

The Rest of the Way, Part Two: Believing In Something Good, Or Just Better

The Rest of the Way, Part Two: Believing In Something Good, Or Just Better

“It gets better.” I’ve heard this a lot over the years but have had a lot of trouble believing in it. Why? Well for starters, you can read the previous blog entry in this series for one answer to that single question of why. But there is a second answer that I’ll go into here. For as long as I can remember, I feel like I heard ‘no’ more often than ‘yes’. I feel like I’ve been discouraged more…

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[micheleksdare]

The Rest of the Way, Part One: Shifting Out of Crisis-Mode

The Rest of the Way, Part One: Shifting Out of Crisis-Mode

I like to blame my anxiety on hormones and shit, and hormones and shit do play a factor due to my age (forty-seven). But I’ve begun to realize I was raised to be in crisis-management mode from a very early age and because of that, it’s a default setting in my mind. So the questions I’ve asked myself about this are: 1) Where did this crisis-management mode setting come from? 2) How the hell do I…

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[micheleksdare]

The Rest of the Way - Introduction

The Rest of the Way – Introduction

I’ve been telling myself this almost every day for the last year: “I’ve made it this far, and so I know I can make it from here. I don’t always know how but I know I will.” It’s kind of a play on a quote from a movie, ‘Clash of the Titans’ with Sam Worthington and yes, I know this movie is a cheese-popcorn fest but there was some good stuff in it. One line in particular: “You’ve brought us this…

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