okay yall honest to god today I was ringing a woman through and she was staring at me like really pointedly and like my ass was not made for waking up at seven something in the fucking morning so I barely knew what she was saying. But okay she’s staring at me and I finish up the order and I’m standing there like “okay have a nice day” because she’s still staring at me and this absolutely fucking novelty dick lamp opens her withered mouth and says:
“Please and thank-you”
And I’m like. Confused because I didn’t hear a request. So I’m trying to get her to repeat what she wanted, when again her face hole swings agape and she says:
“Please and thank-you, honey. It’s just nice to hear.”
And extends her rotted claw forward and pats the back of my hand (yall heard my “don’t fucking touch me strangers” rule because this fucking gag gift christmas cock cosy didn’t???). And it hits me, all at once, that this bizarre fucking Meredith-Who-Lectures-The-Priest-At-Mass............................ had wanted me to say please and thank-you to her????
And I was confused because like I was pretty tired but not tired enough to forget that I am the cashier providing her a service, and she is the stupid metal ballsack hillbillies put on the tow rigs of their trucks. Unless we slipped into a fucking alternate universe where either:
a) we switched spots quickly enough that I didn’t notice myself buying prune juice and a copy of “Those Darn Whippersnappers” Weekly from a human “stick up ANOTHER PERSON’S ass” OR
b) people for some reason fucking expect the person DOING THEM a goddamn favour by scanning their stupid shitty points card and ringing through their shitty goddamn merchandise that they won’t buy a bag for because “I don’t think it’s your right to charge the customer for the plastic bags” like I goddamn planned this from my birth when she was roughly 600 years old and living large in Christ’s fucking manor.... to THANK them.
tl;dr if you fucking ask your cashier to say please and thank you, to YOU, the BENEFICIARY of the transaction, fuck off.
