gina you know ive been like thinking and noticing some things in my life where I'm just like noticing that it is sort of considered normal and acceptable for men like my brother to be obsessed with sports and play the "game" very loudly to the point where it disturbs everyone. He screams at the screen and it is considered normal. It's ok for him to be an obsessive fan boy. Some men in sports fandoms in my country burn shit down when their favourite team loses and it's just like normal
Yet, when I engage with online music fandoms like this one, I have to sort of maintain an anonymous persona. I have to hide it even from my friends sometimes because it's weird to be as old as I am and "obsess over boy band members". And god forbid I wear merch oh no
I don't know where this perception comes from. But I know it exists and it's a real thing. I'm just noticing it in my own life in a way that I didn't before....and it's kind of starting to piss me off