COLLOQUIUM FEELS AND FINAL DEFENSE JOURNEY
I could still remember the time when we made a letter addressed to our adviser. The happiness we felt when he accepted us to be under his advisory. When the journey started, I didn’t expect it would be sooo hard.Twelve revisions were made on the first paragraph of the introduction. The title was changed five times. The results were not the ones that we expected. It took almost two good years to finally finish the paper. The process was fun but at the same time there were moments when I wanted to give up, give in to the discouragements and let everything fall apart. I remember the time when I felt alone. I felt it won’t come to an end. I felt there’s no progress. So, I cried, The tears I shed, made me remember my goal. I sacrificed alot. I declined many invitations. I hurried to finish meals just to get back to the task. I devoted shorter time studying the lessons.I minimized hanging out with my friends. And even spent few hours sleeping. The moment our adviser told me about the presentation of paper, I was so happy. It made me more eager to really finish the paper. However the results were not yet explained clearly but the date was fast approaching. I can’t miss that one! I asked God to postpone the schedule. And He did. The results were still not done. I told God, “Lorddd pls. di pajud mi ready”. The schedule was again moved. The next day, the results were ready. Our adviser again told us, “Pagprepare mo kay kamoy representative sa department for the colloquium”. We made an extended abstract and submitted it to the in-charge.
PF.. May 19, 2018. Our names were listed as one of the participants of the colloquium. Excitement, hope,fear and doubt were felt. “What if we won’t win? What if we can’t answer the questions..and all other what ifs..
21st of May. The day when we would finally present our paper. *SIGH* The moments I spent imagining what it’ll be like to stand in front of many people, is now a reality. Anxiety was there. But praise God for the people who encouraged us to give our best shot (BEEd Fam,Research Assistants and of course our very own adviser). Presentation was done, questions were answered (but not really) but still! The day was over!
While we waited for the result, there was this hope in me. I hoped to win because I really wanted to win. And yes, we won!
The next morning, was our final defense. Since we won, the pressure to really defend the paper well increased. The night before, I could not sleep well. I was really nervous. But still, I woke up with much faith that everything will be okay. During the question answer portion. I became numb, my brain was. But God never left. God gave just enough knowledge to answer the one last question. The moment our adviser said “That is correct” I cried. I didn’t mind the panelists. I just cried. I poured out everything. The defense was not yet done but I can’t stop myself from crying. The chairman then told us to temporarily leave the room for their deliberation and a few moments later, we returned.
“CONGRATULATIONS” they said.
The undergrad paper has finally ended.
