yesterday was yet another difficult day putting closure on the place my mother called home for the last 8 years before we moved her to her retirement apartment | through this journey since my mother left in september, i have truly realized who my friends are, & it has opened my eyes | the loss of a parent is never easy no matter what age you are & i am traveling this path for a 2nd time | i honestly can only pity those people i thought i knew who have yet to go through this experience & therefore choose to stick their heads in the sand | you know who you are, & so do i | also to those friends who don’t show the emotional support, then go through it for the first time & then think, wow is this what it feels like? how did paula get through this? let me call her, she’d know the right thing to say... too late | again, you know who you are, & so do i | to those friends who have literally moved mountains for me in this absolutely unbearable time... thank you is not enough, but to know that i love you with all my heart | you know who are, & so do i | the grief is so overwhelming & i just wish there was a period of time that was allowed to just close the door, pull the curtains & try to heal, just a little, but there just isn’t. life goes on, routine goes on & the ignorant will still ask you what’s wrong? you have not an ounce of energy & you feel like you’re drowning, but tough... find a way to get through. but each day that i try there will be another hurdle to face, to find the strength & the courage | thank you vanessa for being there yesterday & allowing me to fall to pieces in the place where my mother cooked our christmas dinners, altered my clothes, listened to my problems, argued with me, made me marmalade toast & tea | the memories are endless | i finally found her show girl books yesterday when she performed at #thepigalle & #thetalkofthetown in #london in the 60’s | her then name was #gloriawenlock 😘| i will always love you & you had the most incredible life | i am so proud to call you #mother💛 (at Hout Bay)
