#they is singular

[horkbajir99]

New Year’s selfie! Here’s to a great 2018 everybody!

[tiktokvault]

[childoftimeandmagic]

I told the dean of the law library and professor for advanced legal writing today that if she's going to teach singular 'they' as wrong then she's both behind the times in formal grammatical nomenclature, and just wrong from a societal stand point.

Before anyone jumps down my throat about how 'they' is always plural....

No it's not.

They as a third party subject appeared in a plural context sometime in the 13th century English. By mid 14th century English 'they' had become both a singular and plural subject.

It wasn't considered wrong in formal writing till the mid 18 hundreds grammarians started spouting bullshit about how a plural pronoun can't take a singular antecedent.

Basically "they" is to "she" as "elle" is to "ont".

It is the English singular antecedent for an unclear or unidentified person.

For more information on Singular They

[mymindisagainstme]

Analogy

I was trying to figure out how to describe the way my anxiety over emotional pain is triggered when speaking to someone who isn't very emotional. I decided that making an analogy to physical actions was the way to go.

1. The original event. Everything that went down with M and the others, the cheating and lies, felt like they beat me down to the ground and tried to kill me. This was after several similar, but not as severe events in the past.

2. My day to day anxiety is like they are walking around angrily waving their hands in the air and taking random swings.

3. Any interaction with the ones involved in the original event is like they are walking towards me with a raised fist.

4. Physically being in the same place as M, the others would be as well but I am unaware of that happening, is like they have grabbed me and are threatening me with that raised fist.

5. Lying to me is like they're taking and poking at my bruises to see what hurts the most before hitting.

[mymindisagainstme]

October 14th

I can’t do this anymore. It’s been a year and a half and nothing has changed. They turn into a brick wall when I try to discuss it. It’s like they think that if they ignore it, then it will just go away. I suppose for them it kind of has. They don’t believe that they have done anything wrong. Somehow participating in things that they knew I considered cheating and repeatedly lying to me aren’t issues to them. They don’t bear the pain, stress, and anxiety. They didn’t have their last feeling of home torn away and what little trust they had destroyed. They don’t want to work together to fix things. They just want everything to magically be ok, so they can go about doing whatever they want.

The lies of a month ago mean that it has all come slamming back. Any progress made by myself is gone. I’ve been forcibly reminded of why I can’t trust them.

Every day is an exhausting ordeal of trying to pretend that I’m not completely broken inside. I have very little energy to do anything but survive and keep the mask up. Some days the anxiety makes me throw up or gives me chest pains. I don’t believe them when they say where they are or where they are going to be. Sometimes the words “working late” cause me to almost have a panic attack while going into flashbacks. Them staying out until three or four in the morning throws me right back into the hellhole.

Some would say that I’m better off without them, but that would mean spending the rest of my life alone which doesn’t seem any better. I’m over forty, unattractive, overweight, introverted, and have severe abandonment and trust issues. I’ll never have anyone else. I feel about the idea of abandoning my cats and I hope that the two of them will be cared for, but I can’t keep going just to make sure of that anymore.

I won’t tarnish another day for my family, so I’ll just further damage an already problematic one. If I don’t take advantage of this one, I’ll have to wait until January. I have a little over two weeks to make a plan and get everything in order. Time to stop procrastinating and finish it. It will be better for both of us, we’l each get the freedom that we want.

[mymindisagainstme]

Part of the agreement of them staying friends with the bitch that they cheated on me with was that they were completely honest about their interactions with her. Two days ago, when directly asked about contact, they told me that they hadn’t seen her or communicated with her. Later they admitted that she had been by the booth that they are at. So admission of lie, I also know that there was a minimum of nineteen texts between them and either her or her sister prior to my phone call with them, way more than can just “slip your mind”. So more flat out lies. I’m so fucking tired of this. So fucking tired of not being respected as the “partner” that they call me. So fucking tired of being shown how little our relationship means because they know that lying, especially about her is damaging to our relationship. I’m trying to decide if this is their way of letting me know that they want out. That this is them making the final choice between me and her, it feels like it.

[mymindisagainstme]

Of fucking course the fucking relationship ruining bitch is on their “work trip”. I’m supposed to believe they didn’t know in advance that she was going to be where they were traveling to. It seems real fucking suspicious that they didn’t mention it until I confronted them. They claimed that they hadn’t heard from her except in an online message, but then later said that she had stopped by that afternoon. So not only lie by omission, but also flat out lie? Again? How am I not supposed to think that they are putting their relationship with her ahead of ours? Every lie is a direct strike against our relationship. If they’re willing to lie about her mere presence there and damage things, what else are they lying about doing? What’s stopping them from doing things that would end things completely?