HorkBajir99 @horkbajir99 - Tumblr Blog

The two "created in a lab" fantasies:

Yes, everything about me is fucked up, but what if that was secretly awesome?

Yes, everything about me is fucked up, but what if there was someone to blame?

#yes everything about me is fucked up but what if I hated myself for it #what if I knew it was beyond my control and hated myself anyway #me @ my lab grown ocs

nat-20s

extremely funny to me that Kermit the Frog is the only main overlap character between Sesame Street and The Muppets. imagine your day job is hanging out in a community of lovely people that genuinely just want to help kids learn and care about everyone so so much and then your night job is the reason that you have to stay up to date on your rabies AND tetanus vaccine

nat-20s

at noon the giant you're hanging out with is Big Bird! a wonderful fellow who likes reading stories and singing and telling fun facts! at midnight there's a giant named Sweetums who makes you feel like you're being hunted for sport

nat-20s

Ernie, trying to maybe come out to Kermit: well you know Kermit, me and Bert-

Bert: Bert and I

Ernie: Bert and I, we've been best friends forever, but we're also something else too!

Kermit, who every goddamn night has to tell Beaker and Bunsen to keep it professional, deal with Statler and Waldorf's bullshit, AND update his organizational chart on Dr. Teeth and the Electric Polycule: that's really great to hear fellas, happy for you two! :)

stellacartography

Grover, alarmed at having spilled some finger paint on Kermit's flipper: I am so sorry, Kermit. Please forgive me.

Kermit, who deals with a multitude of bodily fluids on his person and all over the theatre every evening, who is unintentionally trampled by large monsters as they exit the stage, and quite intentionally has his little froggy bones launched into a wall most nights by Miss Piggy: It's ok, Grover. I'm a frog. I love baths.

comicgeekscomicgeek

On Sesame Street: Oh, no, Telly is watching too much television!

The Muppet Show Theater, that night: Gonzo attempts to explain his latest fetish at length.

pitviperofdoom

I try not to fall into the "I never liked their work anyway" ditch when an artist/creator reveals themself to be a terrible person

BUT

a feeling I do have and will stand by is "While I enjoyed their work overall I did have some gripes that I overlooked out of affection and whimsy, but now that my loyalty is gone and my affection tainted there is nothing holding me back from enumerating my many grievances, to which the revelations of the creator's shittiness may or may not provide a new and infuriating context."

beatrice-otter

#such a good summation of this actually#because yeah there’s usually things that were always present#but which were easy to overlook or give the benefit of the doubt#that suddenly become relevant after a revelation about the creator#and it’s really not the same thing as the self-defensive “’I never liked it anyway’

tags via chimaerakitten

belleyells

Comment ideas for ppl who have trouble of thinking what to say (some are more unhinged than others) (yes you can use these)

Kudos!!

Reread and still loved!

This was my bedtime story tonight! <3

CAN YOU HEAR ME SCREAMING

Cryin in the club rn

I love how you write [CHARACTER]!

PTERODACTYL SCREECHING

This was great! My fav line was [insert line here] <3

😎🤏 😮🕶️🤏 holy shit

Can you hear that? It’s the sound of my heart shattering into a thousand tiny pieces

Kudos, bookmarked, printed and framed and hung on my wall

This was so fluffy I’m gonna need a dentist

vulcartist

I translated the Ea-Nasir complaint into vulcan and engraved it in on a cooper plate

tournevis-real

The tumblrest sentence I have ever seen

mr-leach

My own son??? Happy to see ME??? For real?!?

yyyyddmmsupremacy-deactivated20

one person's "ugghh this trope is so overdone" is another person's "oooooohohohohohohohoho"

catchymemes

wumbreon

May we all know decadence such as this

charlesoberonn

"godless beast" and it's literally Dionysus in animal form.

the-haiku-bot

“godless beast” and it’s

literally Dionysus

in animal form.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

skopostheorie

reggiemess

Profanity filters on single-player games are just so... incredibly performative. They don't 'protect' the player from seeing the word (you have to type it in order to activate the filter), the only thing they do is scold the player.

My favorite solution to people who get offended at the things they themselves typed is a disclaimer on a puzzle page that said "If you type profanity you will see it."

reggiemess

Out: Can you pet the dog?

In: Can you name yourself Fuckface McShitass?

reggiemess

It's really funny and jarring when you encounter a profanity filter in a single-player m-rated grown-up game for adults, but I don't think they even make sense in kid's games. If anything I think "If you tell the computer to call you FuckNugget it will do that" is exactly the sort of obvious, low-stakes 'actions have consequences' lesson that's perfect for kids.

reggiemess

"This impacts nobody but yourself, and even then it does not alter gameplay or the intended experience, however we cannot allow it and you need to know we disapprove of offensive language. Anyway have fun in Gorequest 4: The Tittening."