I wander outside as golden evening sunlight spills into the lemon grove. I walk toward the rock wall, breathing in citrus, my stomach twisted in knots. I feel vaguely light-headed.
Don’t overthink this, I think. Keep it simple, like you practiced.
Cole is climbing again, the setting sun catching in his dark hair and reflecting molten fire. I know better than to interrupt a climber in the middle of an ascent, so I hang back in the lemon trees and wait. I watch Cole reach for a particularly difficult pocket hold, wince, and pause mid-air. He attempts again, and this time he makes it. I watch him climb to the top and then back down.
By the time his feet are back on solid ground, his leg muscles are quivering, and he’s pulling in long, deep breaths and okay, yes, I’m distracted, but I’m also concerned. He was bashed around by a rock giant less than 24 hours ago.
“Are you sure you should be climbing after yesterday?” I ask, stepping out from the trees.
Cole glances over his shoulder, not at all startled by my presence. Like he already knew I was there. “I’m fine,” he says.
“Cole…it’s pretty obvious you’re not.”
He turns to fully face me with an exasperated sigh. “What do you want, Kai?”
Oh, if only you knew…
Focus, Kai.
“I want my friend back.” I force the words out. “I’m sorry it’s so weird between us. And I’m sorry again for kissing you and then being a dick about it. And if you wanna talk about it, or—you know!...not talk about it. We don’t have to if you don’t want. Obviously!”
I tear my hands through my hair. None of this is going as I rehearsed it. I sound idiotic.
“Look, this is totally on me,” I say. “And it’s affecting our team and missions. And I’m sorry, and I won’t be weird around you anymore, because you’re great, and yeah. That’s all—uh, you know, I wanted to say. So…”
I turn to go, face flushing to brick. That was 110% less cool and coherent than I wanted.
I’m halfway into the lemon grove when Cole’s voice stops me.
“Why’d you do it?”
I turn slowly back around, heartrate spiking. Last week, I wouldn’t have answered the question. I would’ve made a joke. Laughed it off.
But a week ago, I hadn’t yet realized I have feelings for Cole. That I want him.
“Uhm…” I rub the side of my jaw, my brain lurching over which words to say. I finally drag my eyes to Cole.
He’s standing very still, arms folded across his chest. He raises an eyebrow, waiting.
I swallow and choose the truth. “I wanted to.”
~~
for those of you who still want some lava, my new chapter is up.
this one gets spicy. 🌶️
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Erik bathes in the warmth of the prince's bed, lying in the arms of his attentive lover– his Luminary. He had everything he could ever ask for... right?
Loving.
That was his prince– offering strangers boundless love and affection.
Yet it felt so personal, as if El already knew his body intimately, every button to press to send him over the edge. He knew, damn him, he knew every inch. Every expert touch, every gentle press, every rough bite, they all sent shuddering pleasure through his body. As if El's hands were made for him, his body made for El's touch.
From chapter 24 of "Out There: The 1k - part 1" - "A Shadow in the City of the Sun."
“Vitiate Scarin. Commander Soros,” Kanera greeted them, “What can I do for you?”
“Where is she?” the commander ordered in a brisk tone.
“I have two women on crew today. The other one was sent to escort that shipment of power cells back here that were stolen. Weren’t your troops supposed to be added security against thievery?”
“Don’t patronize me. You know of whom I speak.”
“No, I don’t. And I don’t appreciate you barging into my bay and terrifying my people,” she brandished the electrowrench loosely at the wraith-like maskan, “You forget we work for the royal family. If they want us to assist you, fine. But I only follow the Dyne and Dain’s orders,” she faced him down fearlessly, “Not yours.”
Yet when Yune stole a quick glance, he noticed she avoided eye contact with the dark stranger, and kept a tight grip on the electrowrench. This man’s presence alone was enough to put her on edge despite her bravery.
“I’ll remind you that the Dyne has given the Regents full authority here.”
“Is that supposed to intimidate me?”
His face cracked in an upward skeletal grin. “Oh, I’m not the one you should fear,” Commander Soros gave a quick nod to the man beside him.
Without a word, Scarin raised his right hand with his fingers clawed.
Kanera lifted off the ground. Her feet kicked in the air as she struggled in confusion and fear to fight the invisible grip.
Yune and the other mechanics watched, dumbstruck. He could see the burn of purple energy threads coiled around her hand, keeping the tool clenched in her fist, and around her body, suspending her off the ground as though she were the weight of a doll.
Kanera struggled.
“Search the bay,” the commander ordered the Dark Legion troops, “I want every inch of this building checked. She must be here somewhere.”
The four troopers obeyed without question.
They corralled the mechanics into the control room to get them out of the way, then boarded every ship.
Yune was dragged out at gunpoint, and shoved in with the others.
A faint, nagging sense pulled Vitiate Scarin’s attention slightly toward Yune’s back just before the Dark Legion trooper shut the door.
He could feel the strong ink of fear permeating the room, though couldn’t pinpoint its source. Every being in this bay feared him.
Pushing back the reflex to intervene proved harder to Yune than keeping his mouth shut. Too much lay on the line if he exposed himself now.
One of the mik mechanics flicked on the internal com to listen.
The unit captain returned with his report, his voice crackling through the helmet com. “The bay is empty. Just the mechanics. The princess isn’t here.”
The princess? Yune thought. What would they want with her?
Scarin’s irritation showed in the tightening of his grip, which caused Kanera to hitch a breath as it put pressure on her joints.
Commander Soros spoke with calm authority, “She’s been coming here to see you for the past few days. Tell me why.”
“I’ve …been giving her lessons …on the ships,” she struggled, “as …part of her studies--”
“You weren’t playing teacher,” the commander could see through her fear to the rehearsed lie, “You orchestrated her escape. If she isn’t here, then where is she?”
Kanera’s lips trembled to keep from speaking.
Commander Soros nodded to the Vitiate.
In a sickening ‘snap,’ Scarin broke her wrist and dropped her to the floor.
She screamed in a crumpled heap, panting through the excruciating pain searing through her limb. Had her eyes been pulse pistols, she would have shot laser bolts through the commander’s head. Tears from the pain escaped, but she held firm. She had endured worse on the dark side of the wall. She had to protect the young royal.
“Kanera--!” one of the yondi started forward, but the mik mechanic held her back. He didn’t want her to suffer the same horrifyingly strange fate.
“You know of the importance of her presence in the palace,” the commander pushed, “If we don’t find her, I will choose one minister to execute. Their death will be on your conscience."
Kanera cried out in surprise as she was once again lifted off the floor by the purple threads around her waist, but only to her knees. They forced her to look her assailants in the eyes. Despite trembling from fear, she kept her rebellion.
A flash of purple light brought the slim cylinder at Scarin's side to his right fist, and ignited in a sharp crackle of energy arching over his hand from one end of the device to the other.
He held the weapon of pure energy to her throat.
She swallowed hard, feeling the raw power from it begging to slice through her neck.
Yune's eyes widened to a renewed fear. He took an unconscious step away from the window. The sound it made punched him with a scream. That man...that weapon...belonged in a nightmare.
"Now, I will ask you one more time,” the lines on the commander's long face deepened, “Where is the princess?”
So it's a new year, and I'm gonna continue this, cause its' fun. Had a brief break cause of the holidays. And doing so, I figure i'm gonna do a thing where I make up a nice cleaned up version of these cause if nothing else I like organizing my thoughts. So Control F or whatever your find function is for the cleaned up version if that's your thing. It'll be under Overall Thoughts per ep. Or you know, you're me and you're going back through this for validation for whatever nonsense you say later.
Episode 8
Curry huh? And another recap? uh....
enmy remains trifling
hey wait egg time already?
Danger? Really?
Body swap? Also egg time is goofs
throwin hands????? anthy?
Yeah nanami it is ridiculous
JERSUS TOGA
nanami you idiot
She just fucked off to india to get some weird back alley spice
Shadow girls can you please, just please for a single episode.
ANTHY YOU LYING. Never been good at sports and you did that leap apparently pretty well? What the fuck.
Also, the switching thing here is mad suspect considering the end theme thing (and I suppose the opening.
Utena as Anthy : I don't want to be a sacrifice of the rose seal.
Anthy As Utena: I'm super down staying like this actually.
Like..This is just details that
Uh..Uh saionji what. The implications are strong here. Also, Douche canoe he is, but he's a romantic apparently? UUUUH. Exchange diary.
Is the “A” plot a distraction? Like for real.
Also she took that elephant to the dome.
I'm not sure how to take this personality switch. Like the minds thing whatever, but if it's just the personalties but not the person so to speak, hold on
WHAT THE FUCK. These elephants for fucking real?
Anyway, if they're just personalities altering the “person” it's uh...Interesting. I'm not sure how to take that til I get more info. It seems like a thing.
Also, Saionji apparently legit has feels for Anthy he's just...mad dumb about expressing it? Like he's pulling a lot of Badboy Romance Tropes here but...not...in a badboy romance. Which kills his behavior entirely.
Killed his Soul AGAIN. Damn.
Who's the divine justice for? Like it doesn't seem for nanami. Who fucked up. Presumably between anthy and utena.
Anthy what the actual fuck are you doing. Are you using gunpowder?
Homie, this isn't twilight, go home saionji.
Anthy as Utena(????) you trolling. So hard.
Saionji get's zero respect but dudes dedicated I'll give him that. Fitting for bad boy romance lead.
Uh...Wait, actually, are they all romance leads? Common ones in one way or the other. They are on the student Council so...Hm. I don't read enough romance stories of the variety I think but it seems to fit? I'm not sure what juri would be in that case.
Anyway, if this Episode Turns out to be a key for understanding things I'm gonna be pissed. Just a little.
Overall Thoughts: So this and the other “filler” episode is, especially after finishing my last ep in the session, read as anything but despite the obvious uh...antics on display. Like...
Ok, so the whole thing with the ending which frames Anthy and Utena as kinda the same (or rather exactly the same, except one's in red and the other pink) makes this whole episode feel like it's basically some kind of key for understanding everything else because it's simple times. It's goofy hilarity with Nanami that's the A Plot right hahahah....
Except the personality swap between the two of them is like...The implication here is that they swapped minds fully, and given the level of fairy tale bullshit that is at play constantly in this series so far it may well just be magic brand magic and we're supposed to roll with it. Ok. Fair.
Except...The thought that sits in my head is again, Anthy and Utena seem to equal each other. Hell I point it out slightly later that there's definitely this yin yang thing going on in the opening with the two which is so blatant as to be meaningless because Hah Yeah these are our two leads obvs and they're important to each other so hahah don't worry about or think about it check out these SWEET SWORDSMANSHIP MOMENTS FROM EVERYONE LOOK AT THE BUDGET AND COOL HORSES AND CASTLES HAHAHA.
But ok, if it's a Yin Yang thing, yes they're not the same but they have elements of each other within eachother. So if it's just a personality swap but not an actual soul swap thing, that is, Anthy is just acting like Utena's personality is in her, and Utena is just acting like Anthy's personality is in her it paints this picture of Utena and Anthy as having a lot going on under the surface. I mean obviously Anthy is fucking pissed at Saionji. That was really really evident in episode one because if she's just being submissive rosebride I do what i'm told and I do what i'm told I do what i'm told, the very very very sharp dig of “We're Just classmates” is fucking brutal unnecessity. And given that she DOES know what he feels for her, and he's still acting like that, her being vindictive(or just brusque really, he's being an ass full bore) is like...absolutely reasonable.
Her Slapping back and about to throw hands with her tormentors? Who wouldn't want to right?
But then, ok that's Anthy, but what about Utena. If it's just a mind swap, Utena...want's a very defined existence? Like, she wants to just stick to a role? Feels weird, and doesn't quite immediately jive with her cause that seems against her operations right? Except, as this episode so kindly reminds us (for at least the third time in 8 episodes which seems excessive. I might be forgetting one or two) Utena's whole thing coming to this school is I want to play the Role of the Prince, whatever that actually means. Playing the Rose Bride would be no real difference, except it's way more submissive.
So that aside, Saionji saying he's in love with Anthy (and that seems to be something he at least believes to be true. He honestly seems more into Toga. Like for real for real, all the imagery of those flashbacks reads not just as close buddies, but as I am romantically down with you Toga my guy. Him being Bi is probably the easiest answer, and he just drifted away from Toga for a while. Saionji clearly sees him as a friend and rival, although it's seemingly not reciprocated at the moment.
But the thing, the thing that's kinda weird to me, is that if he does legit have feelings for her, I was struck with this odd vibe that he's playing at being a romance lead. Specifically, a Bad Boy romance lead. And doing so SPECTACULARLY badly. Homeboy is sitting here busting out poetry (unless my brain is being a dumb and i'm somehow overlaying him with Tatewaki Kuno from Ranma which ok, weird but alright) but...
Ok, if he is playing at being a Badboy Romance lead, that actually explains his behavior for how he was treating Anthy, especially if he's legit in his feelings for her? Possessive, Radiates Danger, Engages in Creepy Behavior, is a bit of a dick, etc. It lines up with Being a Bad Boy, except that the way that those usually work out in fiction, as I understand it, they're not usually like...gonna hit you. That breaks the fantasy. But...That's him fucking up the archetype. It doesn't fit for him. He doesn't understand what he's doing in that archetype.
Like yes, abusers and the like can care and still be absuers cause fucked up behavior and motivations don't need to match in the least, but it still feels odd that a man who probably literally could have done any number of fucked up things has...an exchange diary with the girl he says he cares about? And it's not like he's unaware of how submissive/passive she is, his exchange diary actually kinda reads like Utena's Anthy is A Real Girl! Activities*. He wants her to be active part of whatever their relationship is and...Eh.
But ok, if he's that, It suggests the rest of the student council, and duelists in general, would fit into a given archetype right? Toga is clearly the super cool intelligent superman student council president, Juri is basically charisma max Jock, Miki is the cute nerd, Nanami is the Ojou villainess type, Utena is...Basically the Hero type, just morals, strains to upset the status quo, Has the Cool Original Uniform.
And they all kinda fit into those pretty thoroughly, kinda like they're trying to (to varying levels of awareness)
Anyway, I'll hit on some of the other stuff in the next Ep. It's a bit more relevant there I think.
*See Me In Episode 11
Episode 9
I just realized they're doing some kinda yinyang thing in the opening so
R V G FIGHT.
Pretty tense there. Toga went straight for the heart which i'm sure means nothing.
Old Friends? Phrasing seems uh...odd? Unsure if it's dub things or actual subtext. Or both.
Dude you really got beef with a monkey? No, utena.
Being a huge dick. As is tradition.
10 Years.
Saionji: Actually love her (said) but
This is mad gay. Like the lighting, the silhouette. Saionji you're sublimating something here.
Music, Silhouettes.
...Silhouettes show truth? uh.
They were Utena's folks funeral? Huh. Also, why on earth would Utena be kidnapped? Who she be?
….Three coffins. Uh. Uhhhhhh. Utena, Toga, Saionji? UuuuHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?
Dead utena. Uh.
Toga: Ally to all women. Ok.
...Why is there a third coffin?
Something Eternal huh? And Utena wants to die for reasons understandable.
Find another coffin. Rose Sigils on the coffins. Uh. Uhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Saionji: Hey, this is nuts, we should stop her.
Toga: Nah, I'm gonna Ennable the shit out of this.
Tiny Utena with the White Rose?
Saionji: Did he do something to her?
Toga: Nope
Uh....
Anthy: Something Eternal in the castle. I want to go there.
Also impressive grip strength considering. Flat.
Does Toga Remember this or...? I can't be sure. Saionji certainly didn't recognize her, but he wasn't like right on top of the trauma child.
Toga white roses? Uh? Uhhhhh. I think he definitely remembers. But questions abound.
Ufo's shadow girls? Shadow girls having flesh is deeply concerning.
TRUE FRIENDS ARE JUST FANTASIES. OK.
And UFO's broke, so that's probably not great. Who's getting the Revelations today.
That is the fakest voice toga what the fuck
Badboy Saionji: We're Gonna get the eternity.
Also, I just realized they (saionji and anthy) have color inversions going on which is making me kinda wonder if they're related in some way?
Just slap the shit out of him that's fair.
Ok, so Saionji didn't(?) do the dumb thing. Ok,
that is...a coffin. That he's 100% obssessed with. With Anthy (Utena) inside.
He's looking like he kissed his own mom right now, goin full oedipus in the holy shit revelations here.
Castle is crumbling, falling down. So...Eternity is Fake. Ok. Sure. Didn't shadow girls say that?
Castle Immediately tried to kill him. Crushed his soul 1 time too many there I suppose.
Utena, meanwhile, dove super deep into saving anthy which...diving deeper into the fantasy?
Yeah, they all just saw things.
Saionji: WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED WHATS GOING ON?
Bro, me too.
Ok, if the two are reflections, does Anthy and saionji both got some deep illusory bullshit going on? Are they both freaking out?
Toga, saving the day, and Saionji, tried to kill Utena with a sword. so. Ok.
Saionji Expelled? Toga, fool for thinking they're friends?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE?
Overall Thoughts: I touched on a bunch of the Saionji stuff I wanna talk about in the last episode review, but the thing I kinda want to look at here is well...
Ok, Now the colors probably don't mean anything, but there was this moment that Saionji and Anthy were in the same shot and I suddenly realized they're color flips of each other. Purple hair green eyes, Green Hair Purple eyes, which ok that's interesting.
So we already have Utena Reflecting on Anthy, and hey, there's Zero Reason, absolutely negative number reasons why that wouldn't necessarily be the case with any and all of the rest of the duelists to some degree or another.
And hell, the fact that we keep flipping back and forth between Utena and Anthy in Coffins, there being (for some weird ass reason) a third entirely unrelated coffin for Utena's folks funeral, why the fuck not right?
So ok, Anthy and Saionji mirror each other which...Ok. If the Personality Swap from Episode 8 thing holds, The two actually share some pretty dickish actions. They can be cruel and petty and just antagonistic to things that don't quite jive with what they want. Saionji with Anthy not being...whatever he's expecting out of her, or Utena butting in. Anthy with the girls who keep fucking with her and Saionji.
They both seem to be utterly STUCK on the Rose Bride thing, although from different angles of Possessing the Rosebride and being the Rosebride, and the kind of weird shaping of the Rosebride thing that's going on.
Saionji is treated as a joke by the student council, especially after he get's kicked out, which ultimately ends with him being someone who is generally wanted but ends up ultimately exiled from society. Which mirrors with Anthy as someone is is wanted, but doesn't seem to have ANY kind of actual tangible bonds with anyone.
And, for this last one I have ZERO evidence on the Anthy end, but the suggestions are uh..interesting. Saionji in this episode, as suggested by the shadow girls at least in part, is deeply deeply invested in a fantasy of some kind, one that ultimately leaves him crushed and rather empty, further exiled from people who could or do care for him and that he cares about. Which if we're going with the property sliding across and He's a Foil for Utena (which I think is definitely true in some ways) suggests bad things for her down the line.
Episode 10
Saionji's a joke huh? He's taking it well.
Toga WOW. WOW YOU FUCKING DOUCHE. STRAIGHT IN THE FIRE HUH.
EGG TIME.
So, thing about eggs, that includes whats inside it right? so...Revolutionize yourself right? Right? That's obvious right?
Oh new duelist. Cool cool.
Utena getting slapped. By Nanami. With Utena being hella submissive. (EPISODE 8 FLASHBACKS INTENSIFY)
maybe a girl can't be a prince. THERES THAT THESIS. E8 FLASHBACKS
Nanami got her brother a kitty.
Oh damn it is Nanami. Duel Time. I mean we sall it in the opening but you know.
Jesus Toga, please stop being
OH GOD NANAMI NO. NOOOOOO NOPE NO.
Toga: We ain't kids no more. Shit don't fly.
Nanami: Emotionally devastated.
Is that Miki's sister?
Hey, what happened to the cat?
Juri: Hey, Serious Business, what the fucks up with the duelist?
Toga is perpatrating as badly as nanami actually. He's just less immediately obvious about it I guess.
Goddamnit there's Anthy's next slap. Jesus. Legit, who hasn't at this point. Is this a theme? IS THIS A THING?
Jesus, he's just playing all of this to piss her off? What the fucks up.
...Did nanami kill the cat. Uh...Uhhhhhh.
Ring is an engagement ring. Wait, that's a flat out school rule that everyone knows? For real? Uh.
...What the fuck happened with the kitty. Uh...
ITS TIME. ABSOLUTE DESTINYYYYYYYYYYYY
I just realized the kinda weird framing with Anthy dressing up utena kinda looks like her opening her legs up with the way it get's framed and I'm not sure if that's me just kinda over reading things or if that's a thing.
Nanami's duel outfit is SICK. Also, a yellow alt color of utena.
Actually. ACTUALLY? Is...Is Nanami like an Utena Alt color? That can't be right. Actually looking at them right next to each other they're...straight up alt colors of each other. Not to mention Nanami's my prince thing mirrors Utena.
She just HOT pulled a knife. Oh she's About to fucking hot MERC utena, going for death jessus.
They're supposed to be around the same age too for that matter right?
She absolutely killed that cat and it's...
With her hair down she does look like an utena alt color even more.
Why's the duel music still going after the duel finished. Jesus. This wasn't a duel with Nanami, it was a duel with Toga, and I think Utena Hot lost it out and out.
Overall Thoughts: Well the Big thing I'm paying attention here are two. First the simpler one.
The Egg has to break the shell of the world to be born right? I'm paraphrasing badly, but the thing is the way they keep phrasing that is that the World is the Egg, but the egg isn't just the shell right? It includes what's inside of it. Which if that's the case, mixed with the way that duels work out being more a clash of ideals than of actual tangible skill, the revolutionize the world bit seems to be referring to them themselves, that is the duelists.
Alternatively, the Bird Referenced, the thing being revolutionized is Anthy. Which...Is an interesting line of thought. Given the Duels as a whole are basically choosing who her fiance will be, that'd imply that ultimately this decides the way that Anthy would come to develop? Or how she chooses to develop? Which ok if so, and the way that Ideals seem to be at play, Suggests...What? Dunno. Need more info, which will be delivered later.
But the other thing here, continuing the mirroring thing, which might be me reading too deeply, but I think not and even if it is Whatever I'm having fun.
THE ENTIRE NANAMI DUEL felt like a Mirror Match.Heck, Nanami dressed like an alt color of Utena, and especially once her hair got undone she looked even more like an alt color of Utena. They're only about a year different in age, and her brother seems to be her Prince type, and he drops the ring on her like an engagement ring, and she basically says I fight like my brother because he's my ideal.
Which is a weird thing since right now it's not going...too far. I'll have to see how it shakes out, but if the mirroring thing continues, the fact that the moment she lost she basically said nope fuck that, Knife Time, was...Concerning. It says real concerning things with Utena.
But it also says other interesting things then, because if Nanami is supposed to be some kind of Alt color Utena, similar in ambition goals and the like, if more outwardly girly to Utena's princey thing, their relationship with Anthy is uh..
Uh...
Well put simply, Utena is fucking up big and dramatic with Anthy, and she doesn't realize it at all or care because she can't see it for what it is. Nanami actively tries to undermine Anthy, and does some fucked up things to her. Which..Makes me wonder about the Divine Judgement thing from Episode 8 which, damnably, seems to be forming some kind of key here.
Like the way it's frame suggests the divine Judgement being visited upon Nanami is what's being talked about. But ok, Nanami had some bad shit happen to her sure, but...All of that was self inflicted upon her trying to fix what she percieves as a problem. Yes her reasons for doing it are so she can be with her brother, no doubt, but...They're ridiculous. Like, I cannot believe this shit is happening. But
But
If the Target of Divine Judgement/punishment is the Anthy Utena duo, one or both of them are on the receiving end of it. It's not clear how Acting like Utena would be a punishment for Anthy (I'm sticking with it just being a personality swap and not a full mind swap) but Utena who prides herself on being princely and aspires to that being the super submissive rosebride? I could see that being a kind of hell for her. And if the logic of Utena is Undermining Anthy holds out, but the criitcal difference being her ignorance and dishonesty of why compared to Nanami unabashedly saying yes I am fucking doing this fuck you I get what I want no hold barred, it...
Like, Nanami, as far as it goes, doesn't really receive a punishment if we're being honest. Yes she takes a couple of elephants to the dome, and has to be away from her brother and see her thing fail but..The way it's treated by herself and everyone else is basically a LOL THESE THINGS HAPPEN I GUESS HAHAHA. The Utena/Anthy swap meanwhile seems considerably more serious for them (especially considering the Everyone Slaps Anthy thing that seems to legit be a thing. Somehow. Except here Applied to “Utena”), and seems to cause some serious distress.
We'll see I guess.
Episode 11
As I watch this opening more and more, why is anthy like constantly framed like...Ominous as shit? Is it me?
Homegirl is just. Damn. Sure glad NOTHING BAD WILL HAPPEN (I do not trust this series to not have something bad happen to Wakaba. Again.)
I do not trust this for an inch. He is abusing the shit out of his framing, like the whole time, and I don't trust.
Toga is “student council prince” archetype. Miki's nerdy student counciler.
EGG TIME
Juri is...Antagonistic But well meaning?
Saionji...I'm not sure he was actually on the stuco. But if so, bad boy.
What....is with the balloons. The color coded balloons.
Miki: Like a Pet Cat.
The Pet Cat that died, got killed.
WHAT IS WITH THESE BALLOONS.
ALSO I SEENT YOU PURPLE BALLOON.
So if the duels are ideal clashes more than actually a matter of direct skill, is this Toga (touga?) trying to fuck with Utena before the fight?
Anthy is a Bird. Ok. And Toga, arguably, being the biggest dick here. We thought it was Saionji, but the trick was he's the red part of the rose.
Anthy shut down REAL quick when being the rose bride was brought up.
Is Utena projecting mad hard onto Anthy here?
Homeboy needs to stop playing these games.
Utena, Stahp. DO NOT TRUST HIM.
Toga, You...DOUCHE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH
Toga: Oh My B, Shouldn't act that way in front of the rose bride. ALSO DUELING LETS GOOOOO.
Utena: one link forces me to fight him. Meanwhile, rose symbols everywhere, a lot of them brought in by anthy.
Hmmmmmmm.
Utena is hard not understanding something here. I don't know what (rose bride related for sure) but I don't get...WHAT is off here.
Cause thinking about it, Utena's objective with Anthy is arguably the most noble, but she's still not quite treating anthy as a person.
….William Tell Interlude is SUITABLY CONCERNING considering the above thoughts so uh.
Also that was a weirdly specific number. 30K arrows or something?
I just realized that the DARKNESS OF DARKNESS OF LIGHT OF DESTINY OF (INSERT) things seems to show up right around anthy a lot. I'm not super sure if that's a whole thing or just a this episode thing, but...
Is Utena about to get HOT DUNKED? Because I think she is.
Also, I just realized, Utena slid into that pull sword out of rose bride thing right quick and she's never once questioned that.
So yes, Utena has BOOTY but cheeks swordsmanship, which yeah, obvs. Two of the people she beat were actually skilled before this fight, and yet she won somehow.
I don't know how to deal with these lyrics. But Toga is absolutely fucking with her head here.
And She Lost. Decisively. YUP. WELP THIS IS GONNA BE A THING NEXT TIME.
Toga: Hey you don't have to deal with this bullshit anymore.
Utena is doing the EXACT same shit Miki and Saionji were pulling, and Anthy's blank soulless stare is freaking me the hell out. Again.
So, ideals here. But the idea that whoever has a...better grasp of the truth is the victor. Which makes sense that Toga wins here.
Jesus, Soul crush 2.0, except it's on Utena this time. Goddamn.
WELL NEXT EPISODE PROMISES TO BE FUN.
Utena: ITS NOT TRUE. ITS NOT TRUE!
The Anime Revolutionary Girl Utena IMMEDIATELY: MISSING TRUTH ETCETC HOLD ME IN YOUR TRUE ARMS I WANT TO KEEP SMASHING LIES APART
SURE THAT MEANS NOTHING GUYS GGNORE.
Also, no joke, these seem like a Direct response to this episode and I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I want to be hated by lies? Uhhhhh.
Overall Thoughts: So Hey, Here we are in Episode 11 and I want to talk about how Utena and Saionji basically are each other right here.
Like overtly even I think, even if the actions aren't precise clean mirrors to each other which I guess is just how i'm going to be going through this series right now RiP.
But ok, here's the thing. What has been increasingly clear as time goes by is that Utena is fundamentally misunderstanding something about Anthy. I'm not sure fully what it is, but it's clearly Rosebride related, and the thing with the clashing ideals suggests that the.
Actually let me explain that clear like. Right now my read on the Duels is that they are NOT in any way shape or form a demonstration of skill. I Think that's clear through this point, but I'm making it explicit for my own sake. The Victor of the Duel isn't the better fighter. If that were the case, It'd suggest the only ones in the running at all would be Toga or Saionji (Juri should also be in here, but I'm not actually clear how skilled she is compared to those two, and the way they're treated suggests that Toga and Saionji are comparable in pure skill/ability.)
But Utena somehow beat Saionji like three times, Juri and Miki. Miki's whatever, but Juri clearly knows what she's doing, and Saionji seems to be Kendo Team captain so you know. Up there. Meanwhile, Utena explicitly is an amateur.
I'm not saying, in full, that actual skill with the blade is a null thing, but your ideals seems to be the biggest factor over everything else. Presumably, people rocking equally “powerful” ideals would fall to skill with the sword.
Anyway. The Truths that Seem to be critical are Anthy Wants to Be Free of the Rosebride. Ok, so Utena has the right read then right? But then she lost to Toga who seems to be rocking Anthy Wants to Be, or else Considers herself fundamentally to be, the Rosebride, which is something that Utena seems to be denying about Anthy, but is none the less true.
But then, How are Utena and Saionji the same? Well, remember an episode back where I was talking about the divine punishment thing and all that jazz from episode 8?
It hits both of them for mistreating the Rosebride. There is a fantasy going on between Utena and Saionji, and while Saionji's is a bit complicated and unclear I think, Utena's actually is pretty straightforward I think. Utena want's to be a prince. That's her fantasy. The general virtues she want's to possess are great. Good even. But the specific's seems to involve a kind of rides in and saves the day riding in on a white horse thing, where she's the hero and does for some poor unfortunate girl what her prince did to her.
Saionji's meanwhile, seems to be something of him having a genuine reciprocal relationship with Anthy, with him inhabiting the role of a badboy romantic lead while the two of them have feelings for each other. When, really, he doesn't seem to care for her, or at least the feelings that he has for her are considerably weaker than whatever awkward feelings he has going on for Toga (I'm seriously a little fuzzy here, cause it feels like following his most recent defeat he's rocking some kind of clarity? I don't know how it's gonna work out, but I could sorta see him Returning and upsetting whatever the then status quo is.)
But notably, the big thing between them is their staunch refusal to accept what seems to be really true about their relationship with Anthy.
That the end theme seems to immediately pop up as an answer to Utena's reaction feels...Purposeful.
