Things We've Learned From Watching Movies (Part 1)
• A cough is usually a sign of terminal illness
• Women always stand and watch the cars that are about to run them over
• Fat kids don’t have real names, only nicknames
• On the last day of school, it is required you bust open the doors, run out and jump the slight of stairs while simultaneously throwing all your papers on the floor
• If you try hard enough, you can outrun an explosion
• Don’t worry if you ever have to jump through a window to escape. You won’t get cut
• In all high school or college classrooms, the teacher or professor will always be interrupted mid-sentence by the end-of-class bell
• When a disaster is eminent, there is always one person who knows exactly what’s going on and what people must do to survive. Everyone ignores this person
• Gunshot wounds will not disable you as long as you still have an important task left to do
• Any elevator will automatically go to your floor without pressing any buttons and take as long as your conversation to reach the right floor
• Any person waking from a nightmare will bolt upright and pant
• If defibrillation doesn’t work, the best way to revive someone whose heart has stopped is to scream “YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME! I LOVE YOU, GODDAMMIT!” at them
• If you own an outdoor stand, it will inevitably be run over by a car
• Vicious guard dogs can be easily distracted with a piece of steak
• If you’re involved in a chase, feel free to drive on the sidewalk. People have good reflexes and will always be able to jump out of the way
• Falling from the roof of a moving train is much more likely when the train crosses a high bridge with a river below
