#thingsdrunkpeoplesay

[hobowitchroz]

Speech by extremely drunken neighbor

“She said that I said that she wasn’t perfect. I didn’t say that. I said she wasn’t perfect - but she was perfect for me. She’s perfect for my children. She’s perfect for what I need in my life. She’s the reason I want to live! But then she gets mad because I said she’s not perfect?! She can go fuck herself! She can go die!” 

Drunk Neighbor Bro, I don’t think you guys are perfect for each other.

Checked in a few minutes later. He’s crying. “If they can’t accept they’re not perfect *sobs* they need to fuck off!”

[robin-pls]

On a scale of 5 to 6, I’d do things to you

Lukas

[ocean-misted-minds]

My sister is drunk right now. She asked why my phone was pink and and hers was white. When I explained that they came in different colors she said “like people. They can be friends!” If my drunk sister can get that why can’t half of the United States of America get that?

[ocean-misted-minds]

Steven: Just because your drunk no still means no

KT: What a concept *sarcastically*

No means no. 

[oceantided]

Steven: Just because your drunk no still means no

KT: What a concept *sarcastically*

No means no. 

[thiodoorhates]

Ask him how his penis feels right now.

Anonymous Drunk Lady about her man friend thing