The feeling of Ilya at first is alarming to Dahlia. For the first few beats of the memory box, she felt like someone had placed both their hands around her head so that her vision was blocked from the sides. A third hand wrapped around her neck forcing her breath to become slow and focused. She was uneasy in the entangled memories she laid in. They felt like vines with thorns that had begun to pierce her skin. They pulled at her emotions and at first, she fought them. She had her own memories of Felix that sparked up in the back of her mind that argued with what she was hearing. An apprentice? Since when?
When her vision blurred and faded to the beach she felt light-headed. Pins and needles picked at the edge of her vision but when Ilya’s hand touched hers they were gone. And that was it. Dahlia Elkhorn was no longer real.
The mage sat back and enjoyed the time with Ilya. It was something she had never experienced before. Something that had always been in reach but something she had never held in her hands before. The relationship was like a fairytale. So perfect and secure. But in these memories, they were hers’ and her’s alone.
And just as it happened to Yves it happened to Dahlia. That little light was ripped away and throw out. The chaos of it all struck a vein deeper than the memory box intended to go. It’s bad, it’s bad, it’s all bad.
On the outside, Dahlia sharply inhaled, her eyes are glazed over and she made no other movement. Namir at that point started to edge closer to his friend concerned. He stole a glance at Yves but dipped his head down not saying anything.
Dahlia’s head was spinning. It’s all awful and what happened fades into an uncomfortable silence that is forced to say the least. What else was there to do? Get back to it she supposed. Dahlia watched herself get pushed back into day to day life like the last few years of her life never happened.
It isn’t until she is confronted face to face with herself that she feels the hand wrapped around her throat again. Her muscles ached and all the pain of fighting back fell back on her like a bowling ball dropped onto her core. Her vision blurred and the box is taken from her shaking hands.
She’s back in the kitchen with Yves sitting next to her. Namir stared at her with his wide worried eyes. The cat is crouched over the potion waiting for her to take it. Dahlia is speechless as she looked at Namir and then the potion. Her eyes are blank like she doesn’t know what it is.
She looked at Yves and she sees his mouth move but she doesn’t hear anything aside from a weird hollow sound which echoed in her eardrums. Namir nods at Yves but Dahlia doesn’t catch it.
The mage kept her gaze on Yves for a long time. Her mouth is dry as everything rushes back to her. She doesn’t need the rest of the memory box because she experienced it with him. She was there. Her, herself. Fuck.
It was just awful feeling it all. Her mind felt fuzzy and it was difficult to decide what was truly hers and what wasn’t. Regardless the emotions were the same now that she was back in her own mind. Seething determination burned in the bottom of her gut. Suddenly she had one more person to fight for. Someone she had never met but spent a whole lifetime with. How terrible, how awful it was to see the real victim looking back at her.
“Dahlia!” Namir called as he pushed against her shoulder with his forehead. He pushed the potion toward her again but she doesn’t mind him. She kept her eyes on Yves but it was hard to see. Tears swell in her eyes and fell down her cheeks. He moved away from her respectfully and abruptly she leaned in closer to him. Dahlia grabbed his wrist a little harshly so he wouldn’t go anywhere. He couldn’t leave.
“Yves.” She stuttered out with a sob. Dahlia held her other hand to her mouth. Impatiently next to her Namir pushed the potion so that it’s in her vision. She breaks eye contact with Yves to look at it. Again she looked at it with an empty expression like she doesn’t even register it.
“I...” Dahlia said not taking her eyes from the potion. “No...” Her voice shook. She looked back at Yves and stood up. She still hadn’t let go of his wrist and for a moment she swayed a little. She slammed her foot down to catch herself and finally dropped his wrist.
She looked around the kitchen like she was seeing it for the first time. The memories burned into her mind like no potion could ever undo it. Dahlia’s heart ached and the tears wouldn’t stop flowing. It was all so nostalgic. She brushed her hand through her hair nervously pulling small red strands out.
The mage finally let her gaze rest on Yves still in his seat. She held her breath and her expression was quiet with no emotion. Suddenly she leaned in and embraced him. She wrapped her arms around him with one hand pressed against the back of his head and the other wrapped around his back. She rested the side of her face against the top of his.
“I’m being selfish,” Dahlia whispered with her eyes closed. She buried her nose in his hair and inhaled. “Is that alright?”
