#thirtyflirty

[solblume]

FORTy and thirty 😜

[greyzone]

JEN-SMASH!!! Part 1

Turns out, I have a quick trigger. I go from 0 - 100 in the blink of an eye. If something isn't going my way, I am not cool, calm or collected. I am not level headed or anywhere near the town of rational! And I say this, like it’s a surprise! Like, Pluto being a planet and then not one. And then a planet again. Like Trump becoming President. Like when you run into the ‘one that got away’, whilst at your local with your new boyfy - ‘Oh hey!’ (fuck fuck fuck).

But in actual fact this has been a long, drawn out affair. The ‘mean-girl’ inside me has spent years clawing her way to the top. And after all this time, she’s finally fulfilled her destiny of landing a lead role. She is one of the loudest personality traits I have these days and I do not know how to shut her up. Perhaps I am just more aware of Veronica than ever before, because of how often she’s around. Yeah - I’m going to call the angry version of me, Veronica. In my mind, names starting with a ‘V’ are automatically aligned with the ‘Regina George’s’ of the world. Massive apologies to all the women who are kind and generous and whose names happen to start with V. But in my 31 years, I’ve only had a couple positive encounters with V-people. (I blame Vanessa who stole my bucket and spade back in 1990 - she started it all).

But anyway… we’re often told that as we get older, we get wiser and more understanding of our place in the world. And yeah - I definitely feel that sometimes I know the lay of the land. But getting older, has actually made me angrier. Not because I’m getting old (I love being in my 30’s) - but perhaps because I have a greater sense of self, I therefore don’t feel obliged to silence all versions of me anymore. So in turn, Veronica goes from guest star to lead role in the same breath. And she pops up in the most obscure locations and at the most random times.

The Grocery Store.

The Post Office.

On the phone to iiNet.

And I’m suddenly painted as the biggest Princess, having a tanty over spilt milk. And because Veronica is like a child having it’s first sugar high, she’s uncontrollable, living in a world governed by none other than herself! So at the end of the day, all I can do, is let her fly.

Just to put it all into perspective for you - here’s a little teaser.

This morning, we had a cleaner coming to our apartment to do a vacate clean. And a simple miscommunication between parties, unleashed the HULK, the Mr Hyde or even the Cruella De Vil that resides deep down inside me. Well, actually not so deep down as my anger apparently lies quite close to the surface. Oh and I'm not really like Cruella De Vil, I love puppies more than chocolate and would never hurt them. So perhaps that wasn't the best example - but you get my drift.

So anyway, I made this booking weeks ago. 8am. One-bedroom apartment, plus balcony and carpet cleaning for one room. I was given a quote and told that we could pay via credit card upon arrival.

What eventuates in fewer than 6 hours, is a cacophony of emotions that leaves me deemed a racist and privileged white girl, living a cut above her pay grade, complaining about paying for something a mere $20 more than she was expecting.

Stay tuned for part two. 

Here’s the link; https://greyzone.tumblr.com/post/169803750941/jen-smash-part-2

[susanqlife-blog]

Grocery Store Hopeless for Romance

I will never, ever, ever, ever be pursued by the love of my life at the local King Soopers that I easily walk to. Why? Let me tell you:

1. It is heavily infiltrated by the gay population. They even nickname the store Queen Soopers. So I’m out from those guys.

2. Most straight guys in there are homeless or super hipster, and overall pretty unhappy looking.

3. Tonight I got two things of Ramen, two boxes of Macaroni and Cheese and a Lean Cuisine. All packaged, processed, nasty food, that tastes really good to me. But what kind of guy wants to date a girl who eats like crap? Hell, I would judge the shit out of someone who was buying all that and nothing healthy!

4.  I might be the only one who uses their self-check blood pressure machine. (But maybe if a line formed or people gathered around in anticipation of the results, there’s hope I could get a conversation going with a straight, non-transient, non-skinny-jeans-wearing male!)

5. Sometimes I will sneak a couple grapes or a handful of their bulk goods to sample quickly. Who wants to date someone that steals? Can’t I afford just a bit of the trail-mix or dried cranberries? People these days.

6.  Sometimes I use coupons. Who wants to date a cheap-ass? Not this girl!

[cescabananna]

Happy Happy Birthday to my one & only @davegamboa! Thank you for your sense of humor, your thoughtfulness, the way you treat me, the way you try not to forget the things I say (which is a lot), & for all that you do. The good, the bad, & the horrendous. Haha. Just like everyone else around you, I feel sooo blessed to have someone as amazing as you in my life. Have a great day my beaver!! You probably feel extra fab cuz you share this day with Usher. Lol. I love you! ❤️ #thirtyFlirty #MightAsWell #BdayWeek #LetYourLightShine