personal update
I’m gonna put a read more here, ‘cause this is probably going to be a long post and you shouldn’t have to scroll and scroll and scroll past it if you don’t want to read it :)
Soooo long time no talk, tumblr. I once again lost track of it.
I’ve been through quite a rough time the last couple of weeks. Especially right before my vacation in the first week of October.
The bf’s daughter lives with us. Her mother is not capable of taking care of here for more than a weekend due to several mental health issues. I don’t want to adress this any further at this time, since I feel nothing but profound aversion against this woman and she’s not the main topic on my blog.
Anyways. Usually I get along quite well with the bf’s daughter. She had a, let me call it laissez-faire upbringing, which is something I cannot identify with. Giving her some small duties like cleaning the cat litter or emptying the dish washer always came along with a huge argument. She also was severely overweight. I made some adjustments to her diet and she started to lose some weight. This has helped her a little with her self-consciousness, I think. I have implemented some rules in this new family of mine, and long story short, it got better. Slowly but surely.
The big issue still is her severely ill mother. She tells the bf’s daughter lies over lies and manipulates her, so the bf’s daughter feels bad when she has a good time with the bf and me. And she throws a tantrum.
It got really bad before our vacation, since she chose to completely ignore me, even though I wasn’t involved in the latest argument.
This hurt so badly, since I have done nothing but bust my ass to help the bf and his daughter in the past 2 years of our relationship.
I am trying really hard to not project my hate against the bf’s daughter’s mother to the child. Most of the time this works, other times I fail.
Anyways, the athmosphere was more than tense at home.
The bf and I then went on our vacation to Italy - alone, the bf’s daughter was supposed to be at her mother’s during this week of school holidays (she had to stay at the bf’s parents’ because her mother couldn’t take her, but that’s a different story).
The vacation was amazing. We had a hotel on top of a mountain and had a breathtaking view. We enjoyed every second of our vacation, we really needed this time for ourselves. The food was awesome. I tried every local speciality. And I never regretted any second of it.
When we came home from our vacation, the bf took his daughter to a psychologist for help. They could help us so far, that the athmosphere around our house is back to a normal level again.
Anyways, I tend to cope my negative emotions with overeating. I do not eat healthy, I eat mostly junk food and do not have the energy to work out.
This combined with my vacation in Italy (Italian food - what else do I have to say?) caused me to gain back all the weight I’ve worked so hard for to lose. And still I did not regret my decisions during my vacations. I know what I did wrong in the stressful time before my vacation. And I am working on changing this behavior.
The scale showed 96,5 kg.
I also went to my doctor in the meantime to check my thyroid levels (I’ve been diagnosed with hypothyreosis 2 years ago). It turned out that they got a little worse and I needed to adjust my medication.
I am taking my new dose of medication since two weeks. I already feel a little better. I also plan my hot meals for a whole week (together with the bf) and make healthier choices.
And guess what? I am down to 93,3 kg again.
As usual, life throws obstacles in my way, but the most important thing is that I do not let that get me down. I wanted to lose 10 kg this year. So far I am at -3,3 kg.
I also wrote a workout plan for myself and I am trying to stick to it. I am also trying to post more frequently in order to hold myself accountable.
Cheers, tumblr. I’ve missed you.