Hi! so....it's been half a year since my last post, uh oh....idk if anyone will read this but I would feel kiinda weird just starting to post again out of the blue so here I am! I'm back! I have quite a few drawings I've been sitting on and I wanna post them before the year ends , do I even have enough days for that? ahaha we'll see!!
As for where have I been? hmmm idk man, like in a weird head space? Took a big swing and tried to compete in a drawing competition and then took an even bigger swing and tried to apply for uni, for a concept artist course, neither came to anything and thought I was proud of myself at the time for making a big effort, after a while I still felt really insecure about my abilities ahaha, and art became something really not fun anymore. All I see are my lacks in skill whenever I tried to draw and that's not really conclusive to have motivation to work on those skill , so yeah...I still struggle with this but I do have some pieces I'm quite proud of and I hope posting them will give me some motivational boost :")
also the world is kind of on fire and it often feels like you cannot do anything at all about it? makes me just wanna curl up in a hole and disappear? hmmm :/ harder to solve then self confidence issues :"D
and you know, mental health struggles, possibly TMI but whatever, I stopped being able to afford my old therapist and started to go to a state funded psychiatrist who was no help at all, I'm paraphrasing but she almost always was like, "well, have tried trying harder? you know if you don't try, nothing will happen!" and I'm just like, wow! thank you, I have never thought about just trying harder, I'm no longer mentally ill!! Well anyway, she only had like 10 minutes max for me each month and I always left frustrated and often upset. That went on for a while and when miracolously I didn't improve the psychiatrist referred me to a psychologist, whose been really nice to work with so far and we've been trying to get me a diagnosis and I just feel like I might start to be able to improve and function more regularly and it's been so nice after only feeling stuck and frustrated for so long!
it's not been all just struggles thought, I've done some cool and fun stuff too and I hope I get to post about them soon :)
so that's what's been up with me mostly, thanks if you read all of that :")