ok so last night was crazy. I realized alot of shit was happening that I was way too oblivious to notice and I should’ve known something was coming. I’m going to vent a little and just let everything out, because I feel too weird and stressed to not say anything. This isn’t anything super dramatic btw just stressful for me.
Ok so I guess I should start at the beginning. A few months ago, over winter break, I went back home and spent the majority of break at my parents house. While I was gone, my two roommates had apparently gotten into a big argument, where one roommate was annoyed that the other had her boyfriend over so much. However, I didn’t hear about this until like weeks later, by the roommate that brought the argument up. (lets call her roomie 1) Roomie 1 casually tells me about what happened and tells me that she is so annoyed by Roomie 2 that she wants to break contract and leave. What I didn’t know (but honestly shouldve seen coming) was that she didn’t tell me the whole story, AND that she twisted things around to make it sound like my other roommate was being completely unreasonable and that she was so mad that she randomly brought up how annoyed she was with me and pretty much implied that Roomie 2 was not happy with me and that she didn’t like me the way that I thought she did. Obviously I was really hurt because I genuinely thought things were ok and that we were all friends. I mean I hang out with Roomie 2 like all the time and we had fun together you know? Anyways, Roomie 1 says that she wants out and she tells me that she either wants to live alone or she wants to keep me as a roommate (NO PRESSURE). At first I’m taken aback but after everything she told me I was hurt and kind of mad that Roomie 2 would talk about me like that behind my back while acting so friendly towards me, so I tell her that I want to but I did say that I needed to wait for my brother. (random detail but an important excuse later) Obviously we didnt tell Roomie 2 about this because Roomie 1 thought shed be offended (I kind of felt that she’d probably be glad to get rid of us but idk whatever I went with it). I wasn’t going to abandon her or anything I wouldve helped to look for a replacement or whatever but I just didn’t want to live with someone who did things like that and who I couldn’t feel comfortable around. Anyways a few more weeks go by and I’m still friendly with Roomie 2, I just kept my distance because I really felt like she didn’t want my friendship. Then Roomie 2 tells me about the fight. I realise that things didn’t go down exactly the way Roomie 1 told me they did, and that she heavily implied things that might not have been true. Basically she made it sound like Roomie 2 was being unreasonable and just angry, but she failed to mention that she was the one that stormed off, and that Roomie 2 tried to compromise but Roomie 1 wasn’t hearing it. She also didn’t tell me that she dragged me into the fight and told Roomie 2 that I agreed with Roomie 1. Thankfully Roomie 2 recognized that she was just trying to use me as ammunition against her and stood up for me. I didn’t tell Roomie 2 about all of the differences right away, just for the sake of defusing the situation so I just vaguely mentioned that Roomie 1 made her sound angry and unreasonable.
Fast forward to a couple days ago and we were all hanging out (roomie 1, 2 and roomie 2′s bf), I thought things were cool now. I leave to the bathroom and as soon as I leave, Roomie 1 decides to start shit and basically tries to instigate a fight between roomie 2 and her bf by mentioning stuff that would make her bf mad. (I’m not getting into it, its not my place to get into her business). Roomie 2 keeps telling her to stop and to shut up but she keeps going. I come back thinking everything is fine and that were just joking around (how am i so clueless???? I hate myself i swear to god wtf) so I joke around and shit and I dont know what happens until the next morning when Roomie 2 talks to me about it . I’m jsut like why’d she wait until i left???? and why bring this shit up now? We were literally having fun a few seconds ago and playing the wii u like for real? ughhhhhhh Idk why she keeps involving me in this shit and why she keeps creating such a toxic environment like this! We couldve just been chill and if she had problems jsut like be mature and like calmly bring it up. I cant deal with this passive aggressive bullshit. I’m seriously so mad and so hurt that she just found it so easy to take advantage of my trust like that. shes so manipulative and she always tries to get everyone on her side and its so gross!! she literally tried to act all innocent about what she did. She just likes me because I’m so tolerant of so much of her shit but honestly I’m like so done. I’m gonna try and keep it cool but theres no way im going to trust her or tell her anything about my life because who knows when shell use that against me!! like fuck apparently i need to be careful with that now!!! I almost wish she disliked me too because I’d prefer that over being lied to and manipulated. I’ve felt so sick and nauseous since last night GOD. Am i crazy for being so stressed about this? I know it kind of just blew up over nothing but omg how are there people out there that are like this??? I’m so hurt and i feel used and lied to. Liek this isn’t even abou tme i know, but then why do i feel like im riht there at the center with everyone else? I’m trying not to talk shit with my other roommate but its so hard because I’m so mad and upset by everything. I’m not that kind of person, but enough is enough, I cant keep hiding shit and keeping it buried just for the sake of peace because its just tearing me up inside. I wanna go home already, its fucking spring break I dont need this shit
I’ll probably delete this later. dont leave your dirty laundry out to dry or however that saying goes. Ugh. Someone tell me what to do. I’m not equipped to deal.
