#this is so much

[clockworkspider]

I passed 120. This is some gay monsterloving shit

[wcndertwins]

and we’re also getting the first 5 minutes tomorrow

[toyhousedramatics]

(Resending, gonna be worded differently because I didn’t save the original) (Clarifying that this is a toyhouse user but events do not primarily occur on toyhouse)

I feel sick right now. I don’t really need help because I don’t think there’s much to be done, and I don’t feel right acting while knowing this person is in a vulnerable state. I just need to get this out of my system.

I was close online friends with somebody for 5 years (from when they were 12 to 17, I’m 1 year older than them) I knew this person incredibly well at the time. I knew all about their family and school and life and all the struggles they had day to day. We were vulnerable with each other about just about everything and would vent frequently about really heavy life events.

About a year before I cut them off, they began behaving more aggressively towards me. I tried to be empathetic as I knew they were going through a lot, but the behavior escalated to being abusive, and I eventually left the friendship. I never wished any ill will towards them and made it clear that this was an unhealthy situation for me to be in, but I still cared about them. We haven’t spoken since.

They came across my TikTok page today. I know it’s them for a fact. They look just like they did then. They were talking about their experience being trafficked. My immediate reaction was to feel awful. I had a rush of panic thinking maybe that was happening towards the end of our relationship and was the reason for their behavior shift. But no. They go on to talk about how they were trafficked as a baby in a rather cheery tone. And the trafficking went through a lot of the time we were very close friends. The story is of “the first time” their trafficker had them kill a child. They go in depth about the child’s skin color (she was brown, my friend is white). They describe how they killed her in the comments. They say she didn’t struggle.

I read every comment on that video, and the things they said didn’t line up with the person I knew. When asked why they didn’t leave, they explained they had minimal outside contact and were supervised. But we’d spend whole days on video call with each other. How is that possible? It was apparently an extensive operation spanning multiple countries. When asked about any sort of news coverage, they said it’s still under investigation and will likely take decades. But surely their escape or rescue would at least generate an incident report? Even a story in the local news? When asked how they escaped, they say they have amnesia around bad memories. The same answer when asked where it took place. They couldn’t even say the country. They lived in America the entire time I knew them and never even visited elsewhere. There are so many story times up of them describing insanely traumatic events in perfect clarity with no difficulty at all, but anything that would narrow down the case was the subject of amnesia.

The interaction in the comments that made my stomach drop was somebody telling them their song choice was inappropriate. (It was a very peppy song.) They said they wanted to make it “more palatable.” Palatable?? Child abuse will never be palatable. If they’re telling the truth, this isn’t just their story. It’s the death of another child too. They shouldn’t get to make that child’s death more palatable for TikTok. When others pushed back on this, they told commenters that they didn’t know the girl and she would have liked the music choice. They only met her to kill her though. How would they know what she’d like?

A lot of this is just me rambling. But ultimately, this couldn’t have happened in the time we were friends. They couldn’t have hidden this from me and they couldn’t have hidden me from their parents or traffickers or anything of the sort. I know they had outside contact because I heard so many stories from school. They called me crying from a school bathroom over something once. I know they aren’t being truthful, and it’s such a confusing feeling. Only an asshole accuses somebody of faking their traumatic but there’s truly no way for it to be real.

Here is somebody I loved and cared about for years lying about something so damaging. I’ve never been through anything of the extent described, but I have been through extensive CSA and it’s just so sickening that somebody I was so close to would lie about it.

But on the other hand, I know that they are (or were) unwell. They’ve talked to me about psychosis and drug use before. They’ve had delusions before and some very minor false memories. But this is a whole narrative that they post about daily and answer all sorts of questions on in a peppy tone. I know it’s disgusting, but part of me hopes it is psychosis, because then they can be helped and move past all this. But if it’s not, one of the most important people of my childhood is just a monster who makes up fantasies about killing little girls for attention.

Like I said, there’s not much that can be done here, but any sort of advice on how to move past all these feelings myself or just any comment at all is appreciated. I feel crazy and alone in these feelings and I’m not sure how to even process something like this. It’s not a normal kind of pain or one that people have much advice for.

.

[blossoms-phan]

the wad hat like… this is literally poetry

[teanshan]

I do wonder what Guan Shan is thinking right now.

As we can see he's holding his heart break box in the car ride. Can he tell He Tian opened it?

And even if he can't tell, what's he thinking about the prospect of moving in with the guy who's face he's been covering in photos because it hurts too much to look at, but hurts even more to throw away? He's in He Tian's house. He Tian wants him to live with him. He Tian is picking him up, getting all up in his personal space. The same He Tian that disappeared and left him alone and heartbroken. What is Mo thinking of all of this.

[gaveyouigaveyoui]

maisie ilysm. give me a date. or else

[cancelledwifecollector]

I don’t know what to do with this information