#this is very melodramatic

[asocialfaerie]

I will never post on this site the way 2019 me—in all her “romanticize life”, obsessed with rococo/baroque paintings, indie pop/rock-fanatic, unironic hipster fashion-adorning, existential-dread-having senior year of high school self glory—did. Why try???

[ginandweas]

It’s november. So I thought I was safe in that I’d only really had 1 or 2 mini sad moments about missing my friends at school. By the end of the summer I had really come to accept that my 5th year at school didn’t mean that I was a total failure compared to all my friends. That 1 year was not going to set me up to being less successful than they are for the rest of my life. That maybe it wasn’t going to be that fun but that just meant I’d be able to, for once, put all of my energy onto my classes.

So than why I have I been anxiously driving around my town for the last 40 minutes? Why did I just sit in the supermarket parking lot eating ice cream alone because I didn’t want to go back to my apartment with my roommates and my wildly thin walls where I feel guilty for even breathing too late at night?

Is it because it’s my great aunts 98th birthday who always talked about making it to 100 and who died in august? Or maybe that’s what stoaked it. And the realization that I had no one to call to hang out with or talk to distract myself made the anxiety worse? Maybe I really am feeling alone even though I told myself it didn’t matter.

I don’t know. All I know is I’m just gonna lay on my bed and listening to premature christmas music until the pit in my stomach goes away.

[r0astbeef]

Feeling good, feeling great, just got paid!

Kim Kardashian

[aguabend]

I just woke up, and when I went swing around my towel over my shoulder, it ended up knocking over one if my favorite perfumes. It shattered everywhere. I finished cleaning it up and just stood over the trash like if it was a memorial. It was my favorite perfume...my most expensive favorite perfume...gone.