#this post went nowhere

[metalshards]

the new mint m&ms are fucking amazing

[mikkaeus]

So I used to talk to this korean guy from hellotalk quite a bit. I’d guess that he’s maybe mid thirties, works as a software engineer, attends both English classes and korean teaching classes. He was pretty interesting, and a gem to find on hellotalk as someone who is dedicated to their learning and not there to socialise or make friends or find their soulmate etc etc

Anyway the weird thing was in his English class he was purely studying idioms. Four years later I dip back into korean and think of him. I wonder if hes still studying, still active in the language learner space. Lo and behold he’s online on discord, so message him, he’s still in English class, I ask him what he’s studying, and he says, idioms. excuse me sir IT’S BEEN FOUR YEARS??what do you mean you’re still on this topic??

and you know as I type this out in my confusion I am relaising that perhaps he means like. idiomatic language. not like. just trying to memorise a list of random idioms. but also I swear back then he said he WAS doing that. so who fucking knows

[conventionally-unattractive]

Stronger Than You is fantastic and anyone who disagrees has their own opinion so that's cool.

[corneliusdawgiusmaximus]

I’ve been talking to a really cute girl I know and idk I def think I’m falling into the huge crush zone right now. She’s just so sweet and positive and maybe I’m just overreacting to someone actually enjoying my company but damn I dunno it’s just nice.

[fontrising]

Exalting and War Reporting

Sleep soon, but I just wanted to toss this out there before I go. [Gets a bit dark re: exalting. You’ve been warned.]

So if I recall the lore on exalting (and this is from memory), it’s considered a high honor to be exalted to serve your deity dragon, right? Exaltees are typically so overjoyed at getting to go that they leave behind their worldly possessions to you, the one who sent them off. It’s talked about with starry eyes, because you get to meet your deity, to serve them with honor! For the good of all of us! Right?

Here’s the thing. Assuming exalting sends your dragons far, far away (far enough that they can never return), it’s safe to assume that there’s no method of contacting them. Aside from old legends being passed around clans from generation to generation, how does anyone know what the life of an exalted one is like?

How does exalting a dragon to serve a deity help in gaining dominance over other clans? Well, presumably, it’s through war. That would also explain why dragons with fighting experience give greater bonuses to the dominance score.

Now let’s talk actual history. Again, I’m going somewhat from memory, so this might get a bit hazy.

The invention of photography was one of the biggest innovators in changing how the world at large viewed war. Before then, it was rare for people to actually witness anything on a battlefield, and certainly not close enough to see the grisly details. (For an example of early war spectating, check out this article on the Battle of Bull Run during the American Civil War.) The general view on war, while not entirely flippant, was certainly naive. It lacked the full gravity of the situation. And while there were still those who held an anti-war sentiment (I Didn’t Raise My Boy To Be A Soldier, 1915), it wasn’t nearly as common as it is today. Simply put, war wasn’t seen as the horror it truly is because it literally couldn’t be seen as the horror it truly is. No matter how awful someone tells you something is, it’s never going to be as strong of an impact as if you see it for yourself.

So what does that mean for our dear little dragons? Well... so far as I know, dragons don’t have photography. They don’t have television (one of the major factors in how the Vietnam War also shaped our views on warfare). They might not have radio broadcasting, either. Okay, maybe Lightning. If they do have any form of war correspondence, it’s in the form of letters and letters alone, and even that might not be an option considering how far away the Exalted must be to never be put back in contact with their families.

The life of an Exalted dragon is a topic of oral folklore, a tradition that quite possibly has its roots in propaganda, naivete, or both. Those who are exalted live shrouded from the rest of the dragon world, a hidden war that provides economic benefits for those back home. And for all their troubles, their names (should they even have been given one before being sent off to serve) will simply be forgotten, dissolving into the mists of time. How would you know if one of your beloved posh dragons had an exalted child who well and truly died in the name of their deity? Would you even care?

Happy Thundercrack Festival, everyone.

[beliefff]

I'd honestly rather have the anxiety I have now about everything than the depression I had. That was the darkest depression I have ever gone through and it got to the point where I literally didn't even care about how I looked anymore. I dressed like a bum and couldn't get myself to shower. I slept through my math class almost every day. Which resulted in me getting a D in that class. I had drunk break downs to the point where my friends scolded me (even though they said they understood...?). I even had break downs during the day and would call you continuously. And I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry that after we broke up I latched on and would not leave you alone. But you honestly didn't show that you cared, even though every day I told you I was going to kill myself. You were the one person who got it and then you dropped it and left. But i apologize for basically having a psychotic break and bothering you so much it honestly wasn't fair to you at all and i know that. Even though i'm feeling better about everything and even though I miss you in my life I'm real glad we aren't talking right now. Because it's going to be awhile until I can truly face you again. After all what you did to me in the end after we broke up was really fucked up. I dont forgive you for that and right now I don't think i ever will and i'm fine with that because i don't feel intense anger. I don't really even think about you anymore. It's just memories. And the thing is i'm not happy for you either. Maybe i should be, but i'm not. You screwed me over and i gave you everything in the end. I'm sorry for the fight on my birthday and all of the pointless fights i am. I'm never going to understand why i pushed you away. I can blame it on so many things but the truth is i just don't know and i'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for a lot of things but are you sorry too? Do i cross your mind at all? Do you ever wonder if i'm actually okay? I try not to worry about all these questions and thoughts because they just prolong things and cause my panic attacks but these are just simple things i want answers too. I miss the old you and thats really all it is at this point. Sometimes i wish you'd see these texts posts on my tumblr. Just so youre updated because I deleted you off all social media to prevent triggers. Ive moved on but my body and brain still have physical anxiety attacks when i see you and her together. I dont really care anymore its just my bodies so used to freaking out that it does it on its own without all the thoughts. Idk where this post is going anymore but it was a nice rant to finally face my feelings about all this because i feel like if i tell my friends about it theyll just get annoyed. I may not be ready for a relationship but thats probably just cause i havent found anyone worth it yet. But i'm way better than where i started. I couldn't of done/have? The whole casual hook up months ago when it first started. Oh well at least i'm making some progress somewhere.

[shortiedoowop]

I hate the smell of hot dogs boiling. I love the smell of hot dogs grilling.

[because-tay-is-bae]

The fact that I'm actually going to get to see Taylor after all this time supporting her is like... WOW. Mom suggested that I bring tissues to the concert.

When it comes to tissues or sweaters, I always take moms advice.