Obsolete – part 1
Dave Lister x reader
part 2 (soon)
They/Them pronouns are used for the reader, with no other gender indicators. N/N for nickname. This was getting long, so I cut it into two parts. I was heading for a self-indulgent rewrite of the Inquisitor, so this is just a prelude, but it can be read as a standalone. TW: anxiety, minor depression episode
"-o Y/N! Holly to Y/N! Are you awake yet?" you stirred up in your bed, Holly's voice finally penetrating through your ears, yet taking a while to get processed in your brain. "No." you mumbled out, turning around and nuzzling deeper into the sheets, hoping that she had nothing else to say. Sadly not. "The boys are asking you to join them for lunch. What should I tell them?"
A dry chuckle escaped your throat, "Is everyone asking for me, or was it just Rimmer? I can't imagine he hadn't had any remarks on my behalf.". Holly excused herself and disappeared for a moment, but that gave you all the answers you needed. "I am not supposed to tell you that." she blurted out right after blipping onto the screen again. " 'course you don't…" you hummed, "Don't let them wait then, I'll come later."
You waited for Holly to fade out once again before you let out a long, tired yawn, stretching your limbs out and letting your body spasm for a bit. You turned onto your back, burning a hole in the ceiling as you tried to make your body listen to you. Waking up has been getting harder and harder, almost ever since you boarded the Red dwarf. You felt empty and lethargic, something you blamed your bad conscience for, as you had some unresolved disputes you could no longer settle. And since Kryten was the main cook, you were completely obsolete as a head chef, so what else were you supposed to do? Besides, sleeping helped to shut out unwanted thoughts and emotions.
But the longer you lay there, the more time will Rimmer have to prepare his spiteful comments, and you were not interested in giving him any ammunition. You tried to get dressed as fast as you could, silently thanking Kryten for cleaning your room daily, it would have been one big mess a long time ago, and you wouldn't have anything clean to put on.
You didn't bother to run, after all, your ubication was on the other side of the hallway, if anything, you slowed down. You cleaned the residual crust out of the corners of your eyes right before you stepped into the occupied ubication.
Lister and Cat were sitting by the table, the latter too busy stuffing his face with a second serving of grilled fish to notice you, at least Dave managed to wave at you. You waved back, a small smile appearing for a moment before the annoying pompous voice cut through the room. "Well, well, well, look at that! The sleeping beauty had finally woken up!", you sighed, sitting down at the table and grabbing a plate, there it was again. "Hello to you too, Rimmer.", you murmured, really hoping that was all he was going to say.
"You know, I would like to know how you sleep so well, knowing you contribute absolutely nothing. I mean, how did you even become a head chef?", you really didn't want to get into an argument with him, fortunately, Lister came to your aid. "Zipp it Rimmer. I've told you, if you want to be salty, go talk to the salt shakers." it looked like they had already argued today. "But you can't deny you had never actually seen them cook either!", so it was this topic again, Lister had assured you that Rimmer was just pissy about you having a technically higher rank than him, something that presumably attacked his ego. "What if I had? Besides, you know we only let Kryten stay as a cook 'cause he would whine 'bout being inefficient.", Rimmer wasn't giving up, "Why do they keep their rank then? It's useless for that gimboid!".
"Rimmer! Smeg-off!", Lister was getting irritated, and you were starting to get upset. Rimmer was right, but it truly wasn't something you had to listen to first thing in the morning or noon for that matter. You felt the pressure building up behind your eyes, and that just couldn't be, Rimmer would never shut up about it, so in between the fight or flight, you chose flight. But not without running your mouth just a tiny bit.
"You're right, Rimmer." you stood up with the plate in your hands and walked towards the door, locking your eyes with his as you stood between the frames. "I am completely useless here, but you know what? At least I know when to keep quiet." and with that, you stormed out, heading to your favourite spot with blurry vision.
The overpass over the chasm was quiet as always, the air pleasantly cold and the floor you sat on warm from the heater pipeline that ran below. You dandled your feet as you tried to get some more food into your stomach. You weren't even halfway through, and you were hungry, but something in your head was against every bite you tried to eat. It made you too aware of every movement your jaw did, and it felt repulsing. The chicken curry was great, but you just couldn't take another bite.
As soon as you put aside the plate, Lister showed up around the corner. "Thought I might find you here, are you alright?" he sat down beside you, quietly sighting at the unfinished dish and tear stains on your cheeks. You shook your head, "I don't know, Listy, probably not.". Dave put his hand on your back, your heart skipped a beat, but you subconsciously shrugged it off, not wanting to be touched, "You know, you don't have to put up with him. You have a higher rank, use it against him. Even if it means turnin' him off for a while.".
"I would rather not. You know what happened the last time I pulled that card." you knew that he knew, but sometimes it wasn't a bad idea to remind him since it was one of the roots of your current problems.
"That was on a different ship.", you were taking in a breath to protest, but Lister was faster, "Hey, I know that it's not somethin' one would get over easily, but shuttin' yourself in won't help anythin'. So… If you ever decide you want to talk 'bout it, or 'bout whatever you've got goin' on right now… We- I'm here… I'm here, whenever you need me, alright?".
You finally looked at him, he was looking at you reassuringly with a warm smile, hands folded in lap. He was so cute. "Anyway, I wanted to ask if you would join us on an expedition to that moon we found yesterday. We'll be leavin' in a few hours, Kryten's almost done preparin' the bug. We might be gone for a few days…".
"I would love to, but I'm not feeling well. Maybe next time?" you threw him an apologetic smile. You'd really like to go, you loved spending time with Lister, but the vision of being locked in a confined space with Rimmer didn't spark joy, especially today. "You sure?", you looked away, down into the abyss, nodding, feeling bad for turning him down, "Well… Alright… But promise me somethin'."
You hummed, slightly interested in what Dave was going to say. "N/N," he cautiously reached his hand towards you again, this time squeezing your shoulder, you glimpsed his way, he had your attention, "try to take care of yourself. And I mean it, I'm worried 'bout you.". You sighed, were you really looking that bad? You never wanted to cause the crew any distress with your own problems. Yet there you were, being fussed over by the last person who needed to be worried about you.
Nodding your head, you hesitantly reached for his hand, "You don't have to worry about me, Listy. I'll be fine.". "You don't sound too convincin'… But… at least try to finish that plate, ok?", you huffed, of course he had something to say about it. "I'm working on it, just give me some time." you smiled shyly, waiting for where the conversation will be carried to next.
Smiling back at you, Dave squeezed your shoulder again, you could swear you had to be blushing at this point, but if you did, he hadn't made any comments, he never did, "I'll have to believe you then, won't I? Well, I should go and pre- Oh! I almost forgot, I've got you little somethin'!". You arched an eyebrow as he turned around, pulling out a little chocolate muffin, "Aw," you pursed your lips, "that's for me? Where'd you get it?".
"Kryten made them for us as a dessert. But after you left, Cat made up his mind 'bout sharin' and was dead set on keepin' all of the muffins for himself. I almost lost a finger when I was snatchin' this one away from him!" Lister laughed a bit at the last part, but knowing Cat, he probably wasn't joking. You reached for the dessert in his hand, smiling as you inspected it, not looking for flaws, but rather looking at it with fascination, "Thank you, but you shouldn't have, I'm not worth the trouble.". If only you knew that for him, you were worth every single one.
"I'll safe it for later." you set it down next to the plate, returning your full concentration back to Dave. "I hope you won't stop at just keepin' it for later." Lister chuckled as he patted you on your back for the last time, moments later excusing himself before stepping up. He turned to you once more before you would disappear out of each other's sight, you were no longer paying attention to him, but that didn't stop him from beaming at you, as you held the half-eaten plate in your hand once more.