Overheard During Quarantine
Me: You're adorable when you're sleepy.
Fiance: Well I'm glad it's endearing at least. I'm just so sleepy I can't...
Me: ...think straight?
Fiance: Yeah.
Me: On the plus side, I'm not homophobic.
--
Fiance: Don't burn my bum!
Me: *realizes I left the oven door open right next to them* Whoops, sorry!
Me: Well...they do say that love is a battlefield.
Fiance: *looks worried*
Me: Love is a battlefield and my weapon of choice is fire.
Fiance: Ahh!
--
Fiance: Oh, look another onion half!
Me: Did we seriously end up with two half onions in the fridge?
Me: *chops up half an onion* Do you think this is enough?
Fiance: I think we should hang onto the other half for pasta later in the week.
Both: *singing* Let's hang on, to what we've got. Don't let go 'cause we've got a lot, got half an onion between us, hang on, hang on, hang on, to what we've got...
--
Me: But how do we know for sure that Covid-19 doesn't cause snow?
Fiance: *speechless*
Me: Think about it! We never get this much snow in April!
Fiance: I'm going to give you the same advice you gave that student. Stop going to conspiracy theory websites!
