So I kind of slacked off on #thisweekisfullofspiders but I figured I’ll just post a bunch of stuff now!
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So I kind of slacked off on #thisweekisfullofspiders but I figured I’ll just post a bunch of stuff now!
john cheese, shitload, and falconer
John Cheese: There used to be an annual tradition in the archery program at the Olympic Training Center called the Thousand Arrow Challenge. It was eventually discontinued because we all thought it was cruel and unusual. The goal was simple and self-explanatory: shoot one thousand arrows within a span of twenty-four hours. Most of the athletes at the time lived out at the training center and trained full time. Not me. I was still a sophomore in high school. Being the absolute nerd I am, I decided I would go to school then go to the archery range and start shooting. So, not only was I used to shooting only half the number of arrows everyone else was, I also went into the Challenge sleep deprived and mentally drained because I had spent most of the previous night studying for a test and had woken up that morning at five. I would regret this decision later.
I went into the challenge feeling strong. I finished the first hundred arrows in about an hour and I felt good about myself and my chances of finishing quickly. Here’s the thing, though: everyone feels like that at first. You’ll reach about five hundred feeling like you can conquer the world. Then you reach five fifty and you begin to hate yourself. You wonder why you were stupid enough to agree to this Challenge. At this point, though, you’re mostly affected by the utter tediousness of the task and your own boredom. By about six hundred arrows, the pain starts. It begins slowly. Maybe your muscles are tightening up a little more than usual. Maybe you start shooting a little more slowly than you did at the beginning. Eventually you hit a wall. Suddenly everything is terrible and your back muscles are sore, like the archery equivalent of smiling for way too long. Like how it hurts to keep smiling but you find your mouth curved ever so slightly upward even if you’re not trying. By seven hundred arrows you begin finding the dumbest excuses to take breaks, just so you can stretch out your screaming trap muscles. By eight hundred you just kinda want to lay on the floor and then never move again. At nine hundred you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and you ever-so-slowly drag yourself toward it. When I finished my first Challenge actually cried. Really, REALLY cried. I shot for twelve hours and nine minutes, after a full day of school, from four thirty in the afternoon to four thirty-nine the next morning after only four hours of sleep.
That wasn’t the worst idea I’ve ever followed through on, though. Nope. That title belongs to the fact that I decided to do the exact same thing the next year despite knowing better. (Sorry this was really long, wow.)
Shitload: I don’t think any of the bands I listen are remarkably terrible? Buuuuut I do own this song on iTunes and every time I hear it I am reminded that I am a horrible piece of meme-loving trash.
Falconer: How I imagine myself vs what I’m actually like? The best comparison is probably the music video for One for the Road by Arctic Monkeys vs Salamander man playing Pomp and Circumstance with a recorder using his nose.
Amy and Big Jim
Amy Sullivan: I’d be really excited but then I’d probably die tbh. But in some super cool way. Best case scenario I gain superpowers to fight the monsters.
Big Jim Sullivan: Smarts and archery skills and horrible tan lines.
Day 5: Free day
So before I explain I just want to say I had a lot of fun this week everyone and to those who came up with the idea thank you kindly as it was a fun experience :)
Anyways this song makes me think of Dave and how done he is with everything in his life 99.9% of the time, and how he probably would just want to go far away, in the middle of the woods, build a cabin, and then tell everyone else to fuck off and stay away. He would become that weird guy that only comes to town for supplies but he would be happy to get the fuck out of the hellmouth he currently lives in and not deal with any of the supernatural shit anymore.
JDatE Character Asks!
David Wong: What's the most depressing, existential thing you think/believe?
John Cheese: What's the worst idea you've ever that had that you followed through on?
Amy Sullivan: How would you react if you were suddenly thrust into a world where monsters are real?
Molly: Do your pets have any weird powers?
Korrok: Lmao fuck you n00b/
Robert Marley: What's the worst trip you've ever been on, drug or otherwise?
Shitload: What's the shittiest band that you actually like?
Fred Chu: What's the weirdest thing you've ever pissed on?
Jennifer Lopez: What famous person do you most look like?
Big Jim Sullivan: What are you gifted with?
Todd Brinkmeyer: Have you ever been completely wiped out of all memory and existence?
Robert North: What are your favourite and least favourite Earth customs?
Krissy Lovelace: Has your dog been dabbling in the occult?
Arnie Blondestone: How sure are you of your own existence?
Dr. Marconi: What subject could you write a book on and become mildly famous for?
Shelly: What animals are you secretly made of?
Largeman: What are you hiding under your flesh mask?
Detective Appleton: What's the worst day at work you've ever had?
Dr. Bob Tennet: Do you think that people with palindromic names are more likely to be evil?
Lance Falconer: Describe how you imagine yourself vs. how you actually are.
Carlos: How many asses have you eaten?
Anna: Walt?
Josh: What's your zombie apocalypse plan?
Fred Durst: What would you, personally, do for the nookie?
JDatE Asks!
Soy Sauce: What's the most fucked up thing you've ever put in your body?
[Undisclosed]: What's the worst thing about where you live?
STRMQQ1: If you had to get a personalized licence plate, what would it say?
Bratwurst: What kind of phone do you have?
Wally's Videe-Oh: What is your job? Do you like it?
Meat Monster: Tell me a meat pun.
Scooby Glasses: What do you think is hiding just outside what the human eye can see?
Shadow Men: If you had power over all time and space how would you use it?
Furgun: What would the furgun conjure up if you were shooting it?
Laser Velvet Jesus: What's the tackiest thing in your house?
Dick Doorknob: Would you open it?
Half-Shaved Dog: What's the worst haircut you've ever had?
The Legend Of Fred Chu: Does your town have any urban legends?
Spiders: SPIDERS.
Oh god yes. Yes He totally would. Mulder would so attempt to take the sauce.
“Mulder! You can’t prove what’s in there! It could be any number of designer street drugs. I mean, the man who gave it to you is claiming that his name is Bob Marley. These people are clearly suffering from some kind of mass paranoia brought on by repeated drug use.”
“Scully we saw a man levitate 10 minutes ago, then explode into a pile of earthworms. Whatever this stuff is, it’s got the secret to [Undisclosed] in it.”
“So you’re going to just take ‘the Sauce’...”
“Secret’s in the Sauce, Scully.”
And then she physically drags him to the car and screams at Skinner the entire drive back to Washington.
Day 5: AU Day
The town of [Undisclosed] has had strange occurrences have the past few years. First, one the the towns detectives, Lawrence Appleton, disappeared without a trace in the middle of a case. Fred Chu was reported missing though their are rumors of him appearing all over town. There are reports of people going into doors and never coming out only to appear across town as well as people made of shadows walking around. Then there was the whole epidemic scare last year which. Detective Lance Falconer refuses to talk about the incident. The whole stunk of something strange and unsolvable, giving it an X-file status, bringing Scully and Mulder to town to investigate.