Thoughts from Mass 10/4/20: 27th Sunday in Ordinary Time
@ Cathedral Basilica of the Immaculate Conception in Denver, CO (remote)
(with my love)
“There is none that can resist your will”
Peace to people of good will
Look into priest’s robes & symbolism
1st Reading: Isaiah 5:1-7
**watchtower** & winepress (album name)
wild grapes vs reg grapes? >growing patterns - they must have been common as dandelions - but what made them bad compared to reg grapes? just taste - or were they harmful to the growth of other plants? and are grapes and wild grapes actually related?
let it be trampled! THEN PERISH
but hark - the outcry!
Reread: did he just remove the protections, or did he actively cause harm to the crop?
>”...take away its hedge, give it to grazing,
break through its wall, let it be trampled!
Yes, I will make it a ruin:
it shall not be pruned or hoed,
but overgrown with thorns and briers;
I will command the clouds
not to send rain upon it.”
2nd Reading: Philippians 4:6-9
Have no anxiety. Have no anxiety. Have no anxiety.
Peace is in communion with God - tell Him all - let Him hear your voice
“Whatever is lovely”
Think of all excellent things & the God of Peace will be with you. Raise your mind
Gospel: MT 21:33-43
Hedge + winepress + watchtower = the house of Israel, the vineyard of God
God went on a journey
“and it is wonderful in our eyes” lovely, beautiful
Homily
The rights and obligations of the house of Israel
The destruction of a community begins with the suffering of its rejected - the rejected form the new community
Cornerstone - turning - of the wall/hedge
Doctors of the church
Isolated from current communities - elevated to new community
Always the counterculture
Back to the one & many / many & one
Misc.
Lower our head at the mention of the Incarnation - respect in the lowering - incarnating the Incarnation
>Bow the head, lift the heart - Catholic yoga :P
“Fruit of the earth and work of human hands” - little lines I’ve heard a million times strike me at different moments
“Sisters & brothers,” said the priest
Reverse prosperity gospel? - nah - just this
Has COVID perverted my religious sensibilities to the point that I feel closer to the Eucharist when viewing it remotely? > nah, that’s due to my own issues lol
Thoughts from Mass 10/11/20: 28th Sunday in Ordinary Time
@ Christ the King <3
Opening hymn: He is Exalted
Return of the crowds - half unmasked
First Reading: Isaiah 25:6-10A
“on this mountain”
“the veil that veils all peoples,
the web that is woven over all nations;
he will destroy death forever.“
Psalms 23:1-3A, 3B-4, 5, 6
“In the shadow of your wings I cling to You”
These people [the band] don’t sound thirsty enough. Where is the wretched sense of deprivation? The pining? The desire?
Second Reading: Philippians 4:12-14, 19-20
I can do all things in Him - both distress and luxury - hm
Gospel: Matthew 22:1-14
Feast of the king compared to the owner of the vineyard
“Many are invited, but few are chosen.” <3: “Plato - Many carry the wand, but few are the Bacchoi.”
Homily & Post Homily
The eternal remedies the temporal
Suffering is impermanent - except Christ’s?
Christ’s hand as he wipes our tears - wet with a million tears - and His blood - yet dry - dried over and over, to wipe clean over and over
More messages of comfort - comfort in surrender. It’s easy to forget how uncomfortable surrender is for most people when it’s talked about in such a matter-of-fact, easy way. There is only comfort in Christ if you completely give yourself up - right?
Thoughts from Mass 11/1/20: Solemnity of All Saints
@ St. T’s, remotely, with <3
No Fr. Chris - out due to exposure to COVID (though not experiencing any symptoms) - no priest at all, so this is technically just a “communion service.” Odd odd odd
First Reading: Revelation 7:2-4, 9-14
The seal of the living God - a sealed God
Power meant not to be used but to be held (until...!)
Angels are living creatures
The elder asks, then answers
Psalm 24:1BC-2, 3-4AB, 5-6
“Oh God, this is the people that longs to see your face.” (sealed away again)
Second Reading: John 3:1-3
Beloved:
See what love the Father has bestowed on us
that we may be called the children of God.
Yet so we are.
The reason the world does not know us
is that it did not know him.
Beloved, we are God’s children now;
what we shall be has not yet been revealed.
We do know that when it is revealed we shall be like him,
for we shall see him as he is.
Everyone who has this hope based on him makes himself pure,
as he is pure.
Love in the form of knowledge - family from familiarity
Revealed knowledge - but you were already the child of God before you knew it-?
Gospel: Matthew 5:1-12A
Poor in spirit - not just poor?
<3
Homily
This woman in black is the placeholder for Fr. Chris, the priest, who is the placeholder for Christ
She shares her own reflection - this is her homily!
“We cannot do great things - we can only do small things with great love.” St. Mother Teresa of Calcutta
“Those who have survived a time of great distress”
We are all mourning something - a planet in mourning
It’s easier to react rather than choose
In a woman’s homily, she speaks of her mom, her duties as a mom, her child and husband
“My happiness is not the most important thing. The most important thing is to grow into the image God created me in.” hmm
This homily isn’t radical - you could see it in any Catholic newsletter or parish bulletin as an article - but having it read up by the altar, presented before the community with authority, is rather radical and unusual
Her name is Kris
How many services were uttered by early Christian women? Whenever men were scarce?
Post Homily
Communion song: “Be Not Afraid” (everything’s related to COVID! Everything goes back to fear)
Thoughts from Mass 10/25/20: 30th Sunday in Ordinary Time
@ St. T’s, remotely
Gosh I’ve missed Father Chris’ voice
Holy shit it’s almost Advent? How??
Opening hymn: Where Charity and Love Prevail - hymns in minor key are the best by far
First Reading: Exodus 22:20-26
“You shall not molest or oppress an alien, for you were once aliens yourselves in the land of Egypt.” 👀
Capitalism as it currently exists cannot fall in line with these commandments! It simply can’t. Loans and interest are at its very core; they are largely responsible for the growing gap between the rich and the poor/have and have nots/the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer. How can we ignore this? Isn’t this something that directly affects not just economic quality of life but spiritual quality of life (or I suppose one is inseparable from the other, in a complex indirect way)? What does this mean for us?
Psalms 18:2-3, 3-4, 47, 51
“I love you, Lord, my strength.” <3
Second Reading: Thessalonians 1:5C-10
The imitators become the models > hall of mirrors
The echo renders the original word (as in the missionary) unnecessary - or rather, the echo speaks - it is the original word - miracle!
Gospel: Matthew 22:34-40
Silenced by the Word
Heart + soul + mind = Self
Assumes love of self
“You shall love the Lord, your God,
with all your heart,
with all your soul,
and with all your mind. [Aquinas vs Siger of Brabent
This is the greatest and the first commandment.
The second is like it: ******
You shall love your neighbor as yourself.
The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments." ***********
Homily
The tradition of testing Jesus - Jesus never wavers, never gets angry, is never impatient
Over 600 Jewish rules/commandments
The rules of the game aren’t the game itself (a good sports metaphor!)
>Don’t change the rules of the game in reaction to a disappointing game. hm
Moral numbness & doublethink
What is it like to really have a moral code? Have I ever really had a moral code? What does it mean to live by what you believe? Do I really do it? Could I really do it? Gosh, it must be such a relief. Maybe I ought to sit down and draft one up, haha (what an unCatholic thing to say!).
“Lost fatherhood”
I want to be a mother
How can I be less selfish? How can I change my way of thinking so I automatically think of others before myself? How can I love others as myself instead of fearing or hiding from them as I hate myself?
“The wonderful reciprocal”
St. John Paul II: “The future is today, not tomorrow. It is today that we make our difference.” A little cheesy, but still relevant
Post Homily
How is Jesus the Divine Physician? Is it that the best physicians suffer with or alongside their patients?
God of all Creation
“Out of compassion for the waywardness that is ours”
The Mass is one long poem
Jesus paid for our sins without interest
Online-only Mass is often bland because it lacks a specific audience - it lacks a real relationship with its audience - so its homilies and tone are often so generic as to be ungraspable/untouchable/too smooth - we’ve nothing to hold on to
New spiritual communion: “I wish, my Lord, to receive you with the purity, humility, and devotion with which your most holy mother received you - with the spirit and fervor of the saints.”
Thoughts from Mass 4/9/20: Wielki Czwartek/Maundy Thursday
@ Divine Mercy Polish Mission
Liturgy as the *realest* part of our faith
Chwała na wysokości Bogu! [Glory to God in the highest!] (sung)
Love one another as I have loved you
Barka <3 (song)
Eucharist and priesthood bound together
Passover - research more - modern traditions, etc.
Sacrifice what you can - all you can - the best you can
Dressed to run/escape, but they are the ones who will remain
Who mourns the firstborns?
Funny how these technological issues, not at all uncommon during normal Mass, now completely determine its shape, existence, and reality
Meal as memory, body as memory, community as memory
Memory as eternal life, memory as God’s command
We loved them to the end (end?)
Foot washing drama :)
I know the sorrow of a Last Supper
Priests of the Last Supper - who among them could have known that it’d hardly be the last?
>the last before Redemption - hm
Eucharistic miracles - God how horrifying, though, to look down and see real blood and body - oh, it’s good that we can’t actually see it as it is-!
Asked this before, but it’s a little strange that the “physical” - the body & blood - could be spiritual salvation. But it’s not the body itself - it’s the *sacrifice* of the body
Our *possession* of the body - have & hold - our possession of His *body*
Cleanliness = goodness - beauty?
Bathing each other’s feet for the journey of the past and for the journey ahead
The time loop of the Last Supper - the time loop of Easter
>Love all you can. It’s a mistake not to.<
I must practice serving others more. I’m far too selfish & self-centered & self-absorbed. I must learn to empty myself.
...the Catholic priest is going to talk about AIDS? :/
>the story of the girl with AIDS and the priest who embraced her
I wonder if these priests have ever led these empty Masses before. Maybe as practice, in training - does this feel like traveling back in time for them then?
Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est (song) <3
Kto jest Melchizedek? [Who is Melchizedek?]
Panie, dobry jak chleb [Lord, good like bread] (song) <3
Manna - impossible nourishment - this remote Mass
The mind, the open mouth
Sometimes I wish to become a nun. This is one of those times. [yes, I repeat myself a lot]
Need to look into Christian communism & its practice in religious orders some more [...need I repeat myself?]
(I know this movie’s been out for a while now so I’m late to the party and I know this is not at all along the lines of my usual writing but I figured I’d share some thoughts anyways. Spoilers ahead of course)
The VVitch was just... sad. A little creepy and gross at parts, but I came away from it feeling immense pity rather than any fear. I suppose one of its main points was that an obsession with sin, even in opposition to it, amplifies it and allows it to grow grotesquely, so that even a truly good family (they were all good people, all the way to the end, even though they were given like the worst scariest lighting imaginable) can turn upon itself; that belief in original sin or our inherently sinful nature keeps us from realizing our goodness (hot takes).
But the ending still doesn’t sit right with me. Thomasin was strong/intelligent/good enough to speak the truth despite all opposition; with all that innocent martyrdom, she was a Christ figure, that’s for sure. Surely she, of all people, wouldn’t have succumbed in the end to evil. Even in her despair, there was still hope for her redemption - there always is - even defending herself against her mother, she said “I love you”! What pure, true goodness and love, how it makes me want to weep-! And yet that act felt to her like evil, no doubt - like the final nail in her coffin.
Of course, no one would have believed her actual story back in society (if she even made it back). Maybe if she had spun a lie about her family dying of starvation or something she could have returned to the plantation, but she was too honest for that. In the end, they’d have killed her for being a witch regardless. So I guess her logic was that she might as well actually become a witch since it’s all anyone saw her as, since it’s what she saw herself as at this point? But this was a girl who stubbornly knew, or at least had known her own innocence! If anyone could have been an actual martyr, it was Thomasin - she could’ve died innocent! Oh, but all that fear and prejudice twisted the truth from her so that she finally gave in and believed she was wicked, too. And in believing, she became so. How awful, how horrible - those evil whispers - not the ones of pleasure, “Wouldst thou like to live deliciously” *eye roll*, but those of despair, of denying the possibility of hope. That was the final and greatest manipulation of Black Phillip.
Thomasin, the only innocent one, the one who confessed first, and she was the only one who truly fell. Really, the ending was Thomasin’s suicide.
Thoughts from Mass 6/7/20: The Solemnity of the Most Holy Trinity
@ Klasztor Ojców Dominikanów w Łodzi (Monastery of Dominican Fathers in Łódź)
Today’s Themes: Love & Logic
Noted before Mass began: Trying not to focus on coming up with clever thoughts but on the emotion at hand, inside, on the touch and warmth of worship truly felt [sometimes I like to think I’ve prophetic powers lolol]
First time seeing churchgoers on the livestream since this COVID nonsense began. Sparse seating, masks required, apparently. Odd odd odd
>“It’s good to see you here!” Jealousss
>I think the first time I return to in-person Mass I will not take notes. I won’t want a single barrier or lens to distance me from that long-awaited experience
We need a God who walked and loved
Be of one mind - keep the peace - and God will be with you - y i k e s
I need some good ol’ Adoration. Focusing too much on the worshipers and their words.
Believe & be saved
*Bezbronny* i dlatego szczęśliwy w miłości Boga [*Defenseless* and therefore happy in God's love]
*** The irrational in religion - irrational love *** [Christian folly~]
>Amoral love, or love beyond rational morality
>We must fall in love with God, allow ourselves to fall in love as this priest has fallen in love
>Not God of dogma but of the surrender of love
The issue is not whether God exists but what He is like - and the Christian God is of *love*
>First and foremost, always, is the love of God
Trinity is from the *minds* of the fathers of the faith - philosophy - not mentioned in the Bible at all (priest sounds a bit dismissive. poor philosophy). And yet we believe
> *** 3 faces of God - 3 aspects of God ***
>Trinity comes from masks in Greek plays
He’s trying not to abstract God
God’s love for the *idea* of the world
The world is saturated and [living?] with God’s love, and that makes us want to live [got too into the homily & my handwriting deteriorated into actual chicken scratch]
Sometimes we forget that the world is *good*, God gave us something *good*, and we have a right to live in it and love it
>This life is a gift! Made & given out of love
*** Eternal life is proof of God’s eternal love then? That’s why eternal life is so important [epiphany!] ***
>So long as we live, we are filled with life, we are full of God’s love
>God lives within us, in our very life, our very heartbeat and breath and darting thought
>God truly is life! The fact that we are alive is proof of God/his work
>Luke 20:38 “He is not the God of the dead, but of the living, for to him all are alive."
Thanks to Christ, God is knowable - Logos - we can speak of God with the *senses*, sensibly
>Faith is seeing/sensing God [how entirely new!]
>A faith that seeks God, that wants to touch him [Noli me tangere]
>This priest is much more of a materialist - the comfort of materialism
Christ protects us from ourselves [not from the wrath of the Father?]
Reason will *kneel*
But what are feelings if not strong & wordless thoughts? No - the children of thought & sensation
Thoughts from Mass 5/24/20: Solemnity of the Ascension of the Lord
@ Klasztor Ojców Dominikanów w Łodzi (Monastery of Dominican Fathers in Łódź)
Beautiful church - we should “travel” like this more lol - right-side arch has a photo instead of a painting, which is very interesting - Jan Paweł II?
>Imagining a photograph of Jesus
>Unholy photography
40 days of miracles
>My life has been a miracle
>”Don’t sweat the timing of the days” wasn’t planning on it lol
Why do I find it so hard to believe in prayer when so many of my prayers have been answered?
>I guess I feel obligated to maintain some disbelief since I hear of so many tragedies where prayers seemingly go unanswered. I shouldn’t easily discount others’ experiences. I guess it feels like it’d be a bit self-centered of me to say that, since all of my (most significant) prayers have been answered, it must mean that God answers all prayers. Prayer privilege lol
>Another point, or the same point from a different perspective: I know what I ask for won’t necessarily line up with whatever God has in store. So why ask when God’s going to do His own thing anyways? Or why ask for something when it could be opposed to God’s will? Maybe God wants a tragedy. Knowing that, praying for a certain preference just seems a bit silly. I always end up saying something small and ridiculous like “Hey, I care for this person, it’d be nice if this and that did or did not happen to them. But You know best, so You do You. No worries if my request doesn’t work out.” How pathetic
>I’ve heard that God wants us to ask, that the act of asking is important, so I suppose that’s why it’s still worth doing instead of just throwing up our hands and silently accepting whatever happens. But some stubborn and childish part of me resents that we are expected to ask without expecting a favorable outcome or any sort of answer or evidence of our words influencing anything. He surely already knows what I want as well as what He’s going to do - why this formality? Feels like begging, which I guess it is.
>Then again, if this asking, this begging is our allotted contribution to our relationship with God, why do I scorn it?
>Sometimes I wonder if I’m stubbornly holding on to my doubt just to have something to hold on to. Or maybe I don’t know how to learn about/deepen my faith without poking at it, attacking it, opposing myself to it. Yikes?
Why are you looking at the heavens? Don’t watch Him leave and don’t watch for His return
>”Players never look up” lol
These monks have incredible voices - and they’re relatively young and lively - maybe I ought to find a similar convent to look into & observe. They’re not all for 65+ y/o’s!
>Shivers from their harmonies; what piercing beauty
>There, Lutherans - you don’t have all the musical talent lol
“Pan wsród radości wstępuje do nieba”
“He who fills everything in all ways” (fill the abyss!)
The doubting apostles
“I’m with you all the days until the end of the world” <3 (but what then?)
Everything Christ did was to find his way back to his Father (a love story)
Understanding = fulfillment, satisfaction, no more hunger
If you change because of reading the Bible, it means you’re learning and growing
11, not 12 apostles - not Judas, who was singled out (chosen!) by Jesus and who accordingly betrayed him. hm
>Represents the fractured, incomplete nature of the church
>Church as child abandoned and betrayed? (Samara lol)
Despite desire for union, there’s still doubt
Nondoubting apostles “gave honor/paid homage” - “kissed” - like Judas
“Doubting” apostles - this word only shows up twice in Matthew - the other time is *on the boat* in the stormy sea, when Christ walked on the water and Peter tried to follow him but fell upon *doubting*
>Peter, head of the Church
>Doubt in those closest to Christ (small comfort lol)
Church can’t *sell out* to secular interests
>yet this priest sounds like he definitely has secular opinions lol (no shade)
God I’ve missed this kind of Biblical close reading! Finally! :D
>This priest didn’t talk about COVID! He didn’t try to be #relatable! I love him lolol
Trust in Christ’s *power* - his name (?)
St. Augustine - Mary Magdalene, don’t stop me (noli me tangere) because I haven’t yet resurrected in your mind - whaaaa-? <3 <3 <3
>Would her hand have passed through? Would Mary’s disbelief, perhaps subconscious, have rendered Him a ghost? What does it mean? The idea-!
First comes the meeting with the living, resurrected Christ, then comes the church and its teachings and orthodoxies (great sentiment, but we’re nearly all introduced to Christ through the church, aren’t we? oh! but we’re talking about meeting the *resurrected* Christ - *our* resurrected Christ - a second meeting!)
In Heaven, we won’t need faith - we’ll simply gaze upon, touch, be with God - eliminate the abyss! <3 <3 <3
“Love teaches us what it’s like in Heaven” <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 Love is the beginning of Heaven - it instills in us a desire for Heaven
God, give us [now] a desire for faith
>The loneliness of faith
Side note: is the homily for Latin Mass also in Latin? I really just need to look up Latin Mass & see what all the hype is about. Why would something you can’t understand be more fulfilling? How can your faith grow without understanding? Without learning?
How do nuns conduct Mass in their convents? Especially daily Mass - do they have a resident priest?
