#thoughts-to-posts

[learningto-write]

Growing up is so incredibly strange

How can every thing change but really it all feels the same

I see other people changing - do they feel static inside like I do? do their same anxieties continue to swirl from what seems like decades ago? do they get told they've grown up only to see their inner child in the mirror

[learningto-write]

how can you go from loving someone gentle, loving and pure

to loving a narcissist, someone angry, a user

I will never know

[learningto-write]

I have potential

if I lost weight, took up running, wore a waist trainer

I have potential

if I doll up my face, curl my hair, get my eyelashes done

I have potential

if I flaunt my tits and wear short skirts

suck up to men and bat my eyelashes

moan during sex and fake my orgasms

I have potential

but I am, myself, raw and plain and tired

I am not enough

[learningto-write]

"pain shows us how great happiness can be"

No. Pain tears us down, wears us thin and dangles happiness before us before ripping it away. Whoever thought that pain is a door for joy does not know true despair. They has never crumpled underneath the worlds weight, and felt less significant to the ones they love than the dirt beneath their feet.

Feel that, my love, and you'll never be able to feel truly happy again.

[learningto-write]

“All kids are impatient from time to time. Some kids have a harder time waiting their turn than others.”

Waiting is unlike anything else. The creeping feeling up your soul, reminding you that not yet; it it coming, but not arrived. There is still more to come.

That feeling, that there is more ahead but we need to only wait. That feeling keeps me alive.

[learningto-write]

Why do love and fear appear to be connected

Why can I not feel one without the accompany of the other