#thoughtsfromthebed

[earthwindfire82]

#ImSleepy #IWasThinking #ShesRightYouKnow #FishAndPhotos #ThoughtsFromTheBed #IAmAGenius

[heyyjaybae]

Confessions from the bed

The guy im dating, I just sent him a pregnancy test as a cliche April fools joke and he proposed 😐

Okay I would never want a shotgun wedding but why was it so easy for him to propose, does he think about marrying me? Do I wanna marry him?

The last few weeks have been a journey for me, I officially crashed and burned when I saw my ex, his new girlfriend, her huge frame over his tiny body I’ll admit I was a bit confused. She is nothing like me, burly in build, big in stature, masculine jaw structure and I’m not hating bc two boyfriends ago he started dating a new girl and she was drop dead gorgeous I had to admit he was stunting on me, but this girl idk….

Now at first I took a few moments to wonder why and how he could feel something for someone who was so unlike me, so hood and bold and outspoken but then I thought, jasmine that’s why Yall didn’t work, she had everything you lacked to him, she fulfills him in ways you never could bc it just wasn’t meant to be for you two.

I took a few days to myself and thought about if I was jealous bc I wanted him back or bc for the first time he didn’t want me anymore and it was the latter, I was being selfish. I always heard that if you leave dog shit out in the yard for a long time you always forget how much it used to stink. It was time for me to remember. I decided to test my ex a bit and text him, no not any text, some bating text to see if he would consider my feelings by asking him to tell me something that I needed to get closure, he decided to read and ignore the text bc he wanted to “leave my wound open”. Bc im a woman and we invent games I just wanted to see if he indeed changed bc of this new woman, it’s laughable but he didn’t.

I guess the point of this rambling that no one reads lol is that im glad that he gave me the chance to evaluate who he is, to see if he ever really loved me or cared, I know it doesn’t matter anymore at this point but it helps me go on knowing that it wasn’t my fault we just couldn’t fix what we broke. He doesn’t love me anymore and that’s okay too im glad there is someone he can love unconditionally. I only ever wanted him to be happy and filled with love. I care about him no matter what.