#thoughtsofdessa

[dessakeepswriting]

I hope life is gentle to you. We’re definitely miles apart but you are always in my prayers. Please be safe always. Please choose to be happy always.

— Thoughts of Dessa 🌻

[dessakeepswriting]

I deserve someone who’ll embrace all my flaws and imperfections. Someone who’ll never give up, no matter how challenging our days will go by. Someone who’ll see my worth even in the brim of our misunderstandings. Someone who’ll keep believing in my strengths. Someone who’ll uplift me in the lowest moments of my life.

Someone.

Someone.

Someone.

Someone whom I’ve been fervently praying to meet. Someone whom I keep wishing to every star in the night sky. Someone whom I hope is also praying and wishing for me.

Someone.

Someone.

Someone.

I can’t wait for the day when these hopes and wishes turn into reality.

Thoughts of Dessa 🌻

[dessakeepswriting]

I've never forgotten you. I've never forgotten how I feel for you. No matter how impossible I seem to be because of how I act, I am still in love with you. I don't give a shit, if people think I'm crazy loving you. Because I care for you and I love you. I just hate that every thing is so untimely for us. That is really what hurting me. I'm still longing to see you. I really do.

Thoughts of Dessa 🌻

[dessakeepswriting]

I don't really know what is going on with me. There are moments that I would be staring blankly at somewhere as if I am waiting for someone or something to appear in front me. I could feel my heart pounding erratically that it seems ripping my chest. I could hear the hands of clock ticking in every second. Vivid and vague memories just keep flickering in a seemingly endless way. My thoughts keep wandering to places that are unimaginable -- only to realize that I am alone AGAIN. Everything is puzzling me. I am fumbling to take the path that will lead me to where the answers could be.

Why is this happening?!? Why?!?

For one moment, I just found myself browsing through old photos -- making me smile for a while. It made me realize I was at my happiest with someone I prayed and wished for. Those beaming eyes that promised me forever and eternity. That saccharine smile that turned my knees in jelly like and made me wobbly.  Those hands that held me and secured me when I was terrified. The hands that calmed me when I felt the world was shaking under my feet. The assuring warmth from those arms that comforted me when things around me brought chills in my spine. That person who believed in my strengths and how I could expand my horizons. That person who sustained me courage when I was at my weakest point. That person who loved me and I loved back -- genuinely. That was then... that was such a long time ago.

As I am brought back to present, I've come to realize that the person we loved might have left us (for whatever reasons it could be)  but all the memories they have imparted will linger --  perhaps eternally.

Thoughts of Dessa 🌻

[dessakeepswriting]

You never really stop feeling that pain, you just become greater than it. One day you look around, and everything else feels small by comparison. You got better in dealing with it. For pain is not meant to be felt forever. It just fades gradually because you’ve won over it.

Thoughts of Dessa 🌻

[dessakeepswriting]

Despite the hurt, I still hold on to the littlest of hope burning in me. Perhaps one day, you might remember every thing between us and you'll come back.

Thoughts of Dessa 🌻

[dessakeepswriting]

Even if you spend your entire day recalling the memories that you were together,

at the end of every reminiscence — you still go back to reality that “IT’S OVER” and it still hurts.

Thoughts of Dessa 🌻

[dessakeepswriting]

Long phone conversations at night that lasted till dawn — that’s how it used to be.

But now, I spend my nights thinking about you till dawn — since the break up.

Thoughts of Dessa 🌻