#thread . anakin

[inspiringgreatness]

closed starter for @fearlessskywalker !

as the togruta makes her way through the city, ahsoka’s heart breaks a little for naboo. the planet has been through so much already, to now be targeted yet again - and in such a horrific way - just seems like overkill. at least padmé’s defence system was able to help the people. it’s a relief to see the city mostly in tact and recovering, though. given the state some of the other targeted systems are in.. well, ahsoka’s just glad they were prepared. that they’re in the position to recover.

what concerns her, though, is the presence she can sense on the planet. for such a long time, when she reached for that presence in the force.. when she searched for her old master, the gaping, cold chasm that stared back at her had been near impossible to bear. now, when she reaches into the force, when she searches for him - it’s different. not the cold emptiness she found after order sixty-six, and not vader - but not the master she remembers. something is still wrong.

sensing him is one thing, but - seeing him is something else. “anakin.” she breathes softly, so much so that she doubts he could hear it. ahsoka’s steps falter, the togruta falling still for a moment upon seeing her old master. not in his suit of mechanics and life-support apparatus, not in his helmet made to terrify. but... himself. anakin skywalker. but... not. not quite the same man she remembers. without even trying, ahsoka can feel it through the force, his emotions, his intentions - he is changed, different from the strong, compassionate jedi knight she remembers, and seeing him this way weighs heavily on the togruta’s heart. but.. he’s not vader. there’s hope. there must be. “you know, skyguy,” she speaks louder this time, doing her best to keep that weight out of her words, to sound more like the young padawan he’d taken such care to train all those years ago, “somehow it doesn’t surprise me, to find you on naboo of all places.” he never told her about his relationship with padmé, but.. he never needed to. neither of them did. ahsoka could see it, for a long time she had suspected. it makes sense, that naboo would mean something to him just as it does to padmé. “seems like as good a place as any, for... old friends to meet.”

[inspiringgreatness]

ask meme starter for @fearlessskywalker - you could live a hundred lifetimes and never deserve what I put you through

his words stir so much sadness in ahsoka’s heart. she and anakin’s connection wasn’t just one of a jedi master and padawan. anakin had understood her on a level beyond that - and when it came to teaching her the ways of the force, to guiding her on the path of what sort of jedi - what sort of person she wanted to become, that had been more valuable to her than anything. her sadness isn’t because of what he’s become - because of vader. not this time, at least.

no, it’s because the words, the emotion behind them, it reminds ahsoka so strongly of that anakin. not the conflicted man standing in front of her. “maybe.” she answers softly. there’s no way of knowing whether she could’ve prevented his fall to the dark side, but that unknown makes it so much harder not to place that blame, that guilt, on her conscience.

taking a deep breath, ahsoka sets that guilt aside. it won’t help either of them, now. “i never felt it was you who did those things to me. even once i sensed.. who he was. in my mind, you and vader were very much separate beings. vader’s presence in the force was so different to yours.” pausing, ahsoka crosses her arms over her chest, setting her jaw. he’s either going to take this really well or really badly. there’s no way for her to predict which, though. once upon a time.. she knew him, she could tell what he was thinking, how he would take things, especially from her. but it’s different now. she can’t be sure anymore. “it still is. that’s why i just can’t figure this out.”

[lcstpadawan]

ask meme starter for @fearlessskywalker

is that why you hate me?

the voice isn’t the same. it’s not the same gasping robotic sound that, were it from anyone else it would be hilarious - but coming from vader, it was always terrifying, shook you to your very core. no, the sound may not be the same - but the power behind it, the strength, the tone, the ability to inflict fear into anyone without even needing to try very hard - that shines through loud and clear, and cal feels it harder than he wants to admit.

he can feel it in the way his hand trembles, forcing him to tighten his grip on his newly acquired lightsaber. he can feel it in the sudden dryness in his throat, coming face to face with such power, such strength in the force, such brutal efficiency in the dark side. he can feel it - from the way it drags each of those memories out to the forefront of his mind. the voice doesn’t need to be the same for cal to remember the intent behind them, the same as that which tore him down that little bit more with every moment of his torture.

“you can’t even begin to understand why i hate you.” cal practically growls in response. his fear, his anger, it’s all bubbling way more than he would like, drawing on that fissure in his connection to the force - drawing on the dark side he’s been fighting back since he arrived here to begin with. and for the first time since, cal doesn’t even care if he has to use it. not if it means he can actually stand a chance of injuring vader somehow. if it gives him the power he needs to deal with this monster it has to be worth it, right? “and you deserve every bit of it.”