#thread: jisu

[gravity-infin8]

hugs from oppa

All the rage drained from Jisu after he hung up and faded into emotional exhaustion instead. It left him feeling uncomfortably vulnerable, to the point where he didn’t want to put on a cool façade and pretend like he was fine like he usually did. With Minjoon gone, he decided to seek out Haneul instead, but these past two years they were packaged deal anyway. They really did fit those Oppa and Umma roles with almost scary accuracy. He tried to resist the urge to depend on them for comfort, he was twenty-four and didn’t need to be coddled, and he had Air for that, but sometimes he just needed to be held by someone with that parental energy. 

He knocked on Haneul’s and Minjoon’s door and waited to be summoned before slipping into the room and closing the door behind him. Without any kind of explanation, he climbed into Haneul’s bed and curled into a pathetic little ball, jaw working as he fought back the ridiculous urge to cry. He fought with Jihoon before, so there was no reason to cry, but this felt like their worst one yet. It was a harsh reality check that they weren’t as close anymore and probably wouldn’t be. In a few years, they’d be deployed and then they’d probably return to their careers for as long as their labels wanted them. Jisu couldn’t determine any point in the near or distant future where they would be near each other for longer than a few days. 

He didn’t know how to explain this feeling to the others. They all had families, they all felt homesick, but he was the only twin in the group, and that was just different. Jisu was only in this world for a few minutes before Jihoon and then they were never without the other until they were signed, and it was like having a limb suddenly ripped from him. The pain got easier as time went on, but he never stopped missing him. He never stopped wishing he could just selfishly hoard his brother in his dorm. Jisu might just have to accept that their future wouldn’t involve each other.

“Jihoon-ssang is a new group and forgot to tell me. I had to find out through Kaimen-hyung, because Baekyung is part of it too,” He finally muttered as an explanation, pressing his face into Haneul’s pillow. 

[gravity-infin8]

i wish you were here

After years and years of living about twenty minutes apart from each other, but never having their schedules line up properly, it seemed like someone out there was finally giving Jisu a perfectly timed break when he needed it most. His brother just got back from America, and it felt like Jisu was practically jumping out of his skin to seem him. It took a lot of convincing from Jihoon and his groupmates to stop him from dropping everything and hopping on a plane to America when he found out what happened. 

When Taehyun told him he saw on the news that Infin8 had been in a car accident, Jisu swore he could’ve just dropped dead on the spot. It was so much worse when he watched it himself and they reported that an undisclosed member was in critical condition. He always believed they had that twin telepathy thing everyone talked about, and swore he could feel what Jihoon felt, so the fact that nothing clued him into his brother being hurt should’ve reassured him, but it didn’t. In that moment, he thought he might’ve just been wrong the whole time and his twin was really dead in some American hospital. When Jihoon finally called him and told him he wasn’t hurt, Jisu had to bite his knuckles to stop himself from bursting into tears. All the anger and hurt he still held from being left out melted away, because all that mattered was that Jihoon was alive.

While Jisu really only cared that his brother was okay, he knew it wasn’t the same for Jihoon. He was worried sick about Daeshim, and he didn’t have to tell him for Jisu to know he blamed himself. His brother needed someone right now to stop him from spiraling and force him to go to sleep, instead of trying to research his way into making a miracle happen. He definitely didn’t trust the one other person living in the Infin8 dorms to do it, so on his day off, he packed a bag and said goodbye to Air and the others and took a car to the Infin8 dorms. 

Jisu almost wanted to surprise him, but he still had to get past security, so he grudgingly let his brother know beforehand and was let through easily. He took the elevator to Jihoonie’s floor and tracked down the right door before knocking. It felt wrong to knock on his twin’s door, but he didn’t have a key, which also felt wrong, but that was a problem for later. The door knob twisted, causing him to perk up, heart pounding in his chest from excitement, but the face that greeted him on the other side of the door wasn’t his twin. Thank god.

“Woah trippy,” Youngjae said with a laugh, “Fucking identical, but you look like the anime version of him.” 

Jisu rolled his eyes and rudely pushed past him. He had no time for Jihoon’s disaster of a group-mate. He walked through the door at the same time Jihoon walked around the corner. Jisu didn’t think, he just dropped everything and sprinted towards him before crashing into him with a bone crushing hug. “Ji-ssang,” He gasped, trembling he was so happy to see him, “I missed you so fucking much.”