kamikaze. // scarlett & hans.
Scarlett tried not to think too much about what was about to happen. Because she knew that if she did, she would get her hopes up, and she didn’t want to do that. She’d texted Hans in a moment of weakness, but also out of a sheer sense of self preservation. She needed to put an end to this, one way or another. And to do that, she couldn’t spend her time wondering what he was thinking at that time, if he was hurting like she was, if he didn’t care at all. She couldn’t guess anymore.
She didn’t sleep very long that night, and as she heard the door closing as Mulan left for work, she got up, waiting, expecting. She hadn’t given him a time. She should’ve probably given him a time. She paced the living room for a good fifteen minutes, anxious, waiting for the doorbell to ring. This was as much emotion as she’d felt in weeks.
Finally, she ended up making a pot of tea, pouring herself some, just to have something to do, something to hold onto. She took small sips of it, scalding her tongue every time she did. Her heart hammered inside her ribcage, and her nerves were all on high alert. She wasn’t sure she was ready to see him again. She didn’t know what kind of effect he would have on her now, and that scared her, perhaps even more than anything he could say did.