gone with all her good intentions | d&a | july 1981
Gemma had arrived at his door a little after 10am, around an hour after Robyn had arrived to drop off Cedric for his week with him. The mother of child was just listing off appointments and various things that Cedric had been improving in during her time with him when there was a tentative knock. Seeing his best friends mother wasn’t exactly a rare occurrence for one reason or another, but the solemn expression the older woman wore set a chill in his stomach. There was a war going on, such a look scarcely had good news following it.
He’d not greeted her in a friendly way, gulping and letting her into his home. In his living room, Cedric was playing happily with various toys, giving Gemma a wave before ignoring the group of adults again, as three year old children did. Sometimes, looking as his child, he could forget the dramas outside of his home. Robyn sensed the tension in the air, looking protectively over at their son. Despite her Muggle background, she knew enough of current events that even she realised that whatever news Gemma had was bad.
Gemma turned to face him, made firm eye contact. “I wanted you to hear this from us, rather than the radio or word of mouth.” She told him, her voice soft but still strong enough that he genuinely reached out for a counter, readying himself for whatever she was about to say. “There was a fire. I’m afraid Dorcas… didn’t make it.”
Nausea overwhelmed him – but mostly, his mind just went blank. What? There was no way. How could that be feasible? Hadn’t he just been laughing with her about Davey a week or so prior? Or had it been longer? The war had a way of keeping friends apart for various reasons, as did adulthood in general. But that couldn’t be right. How could Dorcas Meadowes, the bright-eyed, rambling Ravenclaw Alumni not be around any longer? Amos just stared, mouth opening and closing, as if waiting for a punchline for a joke.
Robyn reached out for him, told him she’d take Cedric back for as long as he needed, and to send her love to Davey. He didn’t grasp any words in particular, all a bit of a blur in the moment. His son reached out for him before they left, and Amos found himself cling to him – a small, brief contemplation about the fragility of life – before he let them both leave. Despite his own grief – and certainly, there was a lot – it would be minuscule compared to the emotions he was certain his best friend was currently going through.
Packing a small bag and sending an owl to work requesting some leave took a matter of moments, and he hoped his boss could make out the desperation in his rough scribbles. And then he left, following Gemma to her own place. For a brief second, Amos was confused as to why they weren’t going to Davey’s, and then the reality was dragged back. A fire. It took everything, Dorcas included. His heart dropped, and Amos had to swallow the urge to vomit. He wanted to sob, hell, he wanted to mourn there and then. But he held his chin up as he entered the unfamiliar environment, because Davey Gudgeon was in there, and the last thing his friend needed was more sadness.
Gemma had filled him in a little bit about how Davey was handling it – which of course, was dreadfully. But seeing his friend, a man usually full of life and joy, sitting on a couch looking positively damn empty, broke his heart. He stood at the doorway, called his name, uncertain and he was left unanswered. He exchanged a look with Gemma, asking for permission to approach her son. And then he did, walking into the room with reservation before kneeling down in front of Davey. The other man wasn’t looking at him – or really at anything it seemed.
Amos had no idea how to deal with situations like this. Davey was always the empathetic one, guiding him on how to comfort and how to be human. The situations had switched, and Amos had never felt more powerless or unknowing as he did now, terrified of saying the wrong thing or acting the wrong way. It was a guessing game over the worst news he’d heard… ever really. But he had to do something, he couldn’t just kneel there watching his best friend looking so un-Gudegon like.
Eventually, he reached up, putting a firm hand on his arm. “Davey.” He repeated, not expecting his voice to be as strained as it was. He bent his body a little further, trying to drag some sort of eye contact for him, or anything to show some form of life. What could he say? “I’m here.” For what is worth, he was. “I’m gonna be here, okay?”