#threads and ties

[fountainpenchess]

Alterous attraction is the best way to describe the feeling of wanting to be in a polyplatonic relationship with someone. Alterous attraction is a yearning for emotional connection that falls outside of the platonic or romantic spectrum. This ambiguous attraction often makes people unable to distinguish whether they want to date someone or be best friends with them.

— from platonic polyamory: exploring a unique relationship style

[fountainpenchess]

Queerplatonic relationships (QPRs) are committed intimate relationships which are not necessarily sexual (and are often non-sexual) that are treated as equivalent to romantic or sexual partnerships in someone's relationship network. It is in this treatment and elevation to equivalence to partners that QPRs differ from "just friends." The term originated in LGBT communities and is popularized in aromantic and asexual community spaces, and is especially useful in nonmonogamous networks that contain a variety of partnerships that wish to have labels. Monogamous people in QPRs might simply choose to label that person their partner, fiancé, spouse, etc as appropriate; polyam people, by virtue of having more partners or more desire or necessity to explain their differing dynamics, are more likely to label these connections more precisely.

— laura boyle, queerplatonic relationships: polybromantic, much?

[fountainpenchess]

Some definitions of queerplatonic attraction lean more heavily on the idea that it is queering platonic connection - you are doing what otherwise to the outside world is "a friendship" in an unusual way by, say, cohabiting or raising kids together (or, simply being more physically affectionate than average in your culture without being sexual!). It challenges an amatonormative or erotonormative sense of what a partnership is or must be. There can be intense intimacy and emotional closeness in a QPR without needing to fulfill societal expectations of a relationship. Other definitions have leaned more heavily on a historical trend of romantic friendship and viewed QPRs as a sort of social coming-full-circle of that movement. (...) the idea that historically we were better at being open and intimate with our friends than we are in the Western World today is an interesting one and one worth considering, whether we label any of those friendships QPRs or consider ourselves relationship anarchists or not.

— laura boyle, queerplatonic relationships: polybromantic, much? (emphasis mine)

[fountainpenchess]

frances ha is such an aromantic story that centers self discovery and platonic love. frances is disappointed to not have the platonic partnership she expected with sophie. she is alloromantic and starts living her life apart from frances. at the end, even if don't want the same level of commitment, domesticity and social life entwinement, they both love each other deeply and platonically.

(also pls read the article linked is so good)

[fountainpenchess]

Explaining platonic polyamory to those unfamiliar with the concept can be challenging. Many people perceive polyamory as synonymous with sexual relationships, making it difficult to convey the unique nature of polyplatonic connections. Some individuals within the polyamorous community may consider polyplatonic relationships ordinary friendship, while those adhering to monogamy may view such close relationships as inappropriate. Navigating societal judgment becomes an additional hurdle for those pursuing platonic polyamorous relationships.

— from platonic polyamory: exploring a unique relationship style

[fountainpenchess]

To find a friend is to find someone like myself, someone who is very similar, yet a bit different somehow. It is to see a soul that is almost like a mirror of my own, a soul who can see things in almost the same way that I see it. This is one reason why friendships are so vital. Friends help validate our perspective about life and the world we live in. They help us see the meaning we seek. They help us find the truth we’re looking for. And that is why all the other qualities that other people say about friends depend only on this very foundation. They say that friendship is trust. But how do you trust someone who cannot share the core of who you believe you are? They say that friendship is camaraderie. But how could anyone be a good company to you when they cannot look into your soul? Friends understand one another’s soul, that’s the full meaning of it.

— the ultimate guide when a friend breaks your heart by jocelyne soriano