He Can’t Even Pronounce Je T’aime
Two x Three from 6 Underground
Request from anonymous: “could you write something where two is sent on a mission that involves like seducing another man and three gets jealous”
Yes, yes I can.
TW// cursing, implied smut, drinking,
Kinda short, but I hope this is okay!! :)
“If this fucks up, it will go Florence fast as hell. No, it’ll be worse than Florence. More than one of us dead, maybe all of us.” One made known. The team was in the control room, their little secret base in the middle of the Californian desert, away from prying public eyes. The perfect place to discuss taking down a mob boss with links to their next target; an arms dealer with the blood of thousands on his hands. “I’m serious. You thought dickhead dictators were bad? Every single person involved with this asshole has the ability to kill you in ways you didn’t know possible. So do your jobs well and everything goes fine. Got it?”
Everyone around the metal table in the dim, seedy room agreed and nodded. They understood the importance of getting this right.
One, satisfied that the ghosts were on the same page as him, then moved onto explain the plan. He slid a few photos onto the table, all of one man. He was a looker, a pretty boy, definitely something of a heartbreaker. His pale blond hair was windswept as he stepped out of a helicopter, and the breeze blew his shirt up, showing off his toned torso. “Meet James Adams. He’s a gang leader from London-”
“My town,” Four grinned proudly, arms crossed across his chest.
“Shut the fuck up. I swear to God,” One huffed in exasperation. Four looked away sheepishly. “James here? Total asshole. He and his guys have done a lot of bad things, killed a lot of good people who couldn’t afford their end of deals made. James is pretty much the mini-boss in the way of the final boss,” He pointed to a picture beside the eight on the wall of jobs the ghosts had to do, people to kill. “So we need to go speak to him. Avoid killing him if we can; as much as I hate to admit it, we’re outgunned, outnumbered, outmatched.”
“What’s the plan? How do we do this?” Five piped up, tearing her eyes away from the pictures on the table.
“Plan is Two gets cozy with James.”
“Really?” Three sighed in annoyance. It was no secret that he and Three were going strong in their relationship now. After the Turgistan job, Two met Three’s mother. Three swore his heart grew three sizes that day. There was something sweet about the hitman’s love for the ex-spy. There were, of course, also fleeting moments where Two’s icy exterior melted and everyone saw her feelings for Three, but those moments were brief. One job saw Three shot in the shoulder and Two rescued Three, panicked and urgent, before killing every person who attacked her partner - that was one of these moments. Two and Three escaped for a date night on a job in Shanghai. They snuck off together in Rome. Not to mention all the nights they shared in each other's trailers in the desert base.
One shrugged, “Sorry man, we gotta do what we gotta do. And Two’s the most qualified spy in the room.” He turned to address Two properly. “You’ll be in disguise, something fancy. We’re going to a party in Tokyo.”
“Should be fun,” Seven added in approval.
One nodded then told Two, “I want this James prick seduced within two hours of being in that party.”
Two stared blankly at One and told him, “Give me one hour and a decent dress. Consider it done.”
~~~In Tokyo~~~
“Are we on the list yet?” Two asked One over her earpiece. She was wearing a shimmery champagne floor-length gown, strappy high heels, and blood-red lipstick. She, Three and Five were driving through Tokyo, heading to the party.
“He’s working on it. Don’t stress him or he might get a migraine,” Four answered, watching over One’s shoulder from where the two were positioned atop a skyscraper. One was trying to hack the bouncer’s electronic entry list.
“Got it,” One said suddenly. “You’re in. Your name is now Camilla.”
“That’s creative. Couldn’t have just gone with Camille?” Five asked as she, Two and Three drove through Tokyo in an Aston Martin Rapide S. “I take it my name is now Amelie and Three is Javi?”
“Yes actually, now drive,” One muttered before jogging to the maintenance ladder to find another vantage point to watch from. Four took off along some scaffolding, agilely bouncing over buildings and scrambling up walls. Seven was watching, waiting, ready in a sniper nest in a building across from the party.
The trio of ghosts pulled up to the glamorous, glitzy building which was swarmed by broody security guards and expensive cars, not to mention an array of guests.
“Remember guys, the people in here range from black market royalty to globetrotting-country-conquering kingpins. One wrong move and it’s game over. Please don’t die; that’ll be a logistical nightmare.” One told Two, Three, and Five.
“Yeah, we get it. Jesus Christ, you worry too much,” Three uttered as he and the others stepped out of the car. He neatened his suit to make sure his gun was concealed enough.
“Whatever man. Not my girlfriend going to seduce the bad guy.”
“Hey, low blow.”
“It will be when you blow your cover and get your ass handed to me.”
“Listen-”
“Enough. My God, I work with children,” Five grumbled, painting on a falsely sweet smile when people started to look their direction. She was wearing a striking blue gown that drew plenty of attention. She greeted the bouncer to check herself, Two and Three in, leaving Two and Three to talk for a moment.
Three turned off his earpiece so the others couldn’t hear the conversation, and Two copied. He sighed, the sound falling into the bubbly noise of laughter and song from the party beside them. “Try to make it painless, please.”
“One said to try to avoid killing him-”
“I meant try to get as much information as you can from him without... you know...”
“Fucking him? I’ll do my best.”
Three raised his brows and looked up for a moment as he tried to think of what to say, “I bet he doesn’t even know what je t’aime means.” He lowered his head to smile at Two.
Two pursed her lips, but the corners pulled up into the slightest of smiles. She placed a kiss on Three’s cheek. “He probably won’t understand te amo either.” And that earned a smile from Three.
Their moment was relaxed, despite the circumstances. They were surrounded by neon lights and cigarette smoke, hazy headlights from the traffic beside them, the music mixing with the conversations that they couldn’t quite hear. It was one of those brief, beautiful moments where both Two and Three were fully engrossed in each other, enveloped by the auras exuded, surrounded by reciprocated feelings.
“We should go. The sooner we get this done, the sooner we can go home,” Three said, admitting defeat to time, which was not exactly on their side for this mission. He pressed a swift yet soft kiss to Two’s hairline. “Good luck.”
“You too.”
The pair marched into the party after Five, clicked their radios back on to communicate with the others. Five disappeared off to the bar to keep a lookout. Three left Two to go mingle with some crime-world locals. Two set about trying to find the target.
She had to venture deeper into the building that had been decorated with a glossy back theme. This wasn’t something she was necessarily worried about, just something that wasn’t exactly desired. From all over the world, bad guys had traveled to be here. Everyone made a deal with the devil. This was a wolf den of arms dealers, black market regulars, corrupt politicians, mercenaries, and of course, ghosts.
Soft golden neon lights brightened the place a little, giving light to the people crowded around to have conversations in the halls, talking in the expansive lounge, dancing in the club area, or sitting by the second, less occupied bar in the back. It was this particular bar that caught Two’s eye. The man drinking a daiquiri at the end of the bar was clearly trying to blend in. He might have done too, but Two’s eyes locked on like sonar, and she headed towards him.
“I see James,” Two said quickly into her radio, letting the team know what was going on.
“And I see you,” Three added, entering the room to keep watch on Two whilst Five watched the main entrance.
“Alright assholes, don’t fuck this up, understood?” One said bluntly to everyone, and he received less than enthusiastic mumbles in reply.
Two sat beside James wordlessly. She offered him a smile, and he offered her a drink. “Can I get you something to drink?”
“Sure,” Little to no expression passed over the French woman’s face.
“Any preference?”
“Surprise me.”
James raised his brows at that and nodded curtly at the bartender, who got to work on a drink for Two. Then James sparked up a conversation. “So, what brings you here tonight?”
“Business. What about you?” Two thanked the bartender as a Moscow mule was placed in front of her.
James nodded once, only slightly. His right hand, studded with silver rings, remained locked around his glass. “Business too. I guess that’s why everyone’s here tonight.” He paused to sip on his drink. “What’s your name?”
“Camilla. You?”
“Lovely name. I’m James.” He finished off his drink, ordered another, then asked, “So, Camilla, what exactly is your business then?”
Two, quick thinking as always, smiled sweetly. “I’m good with numbers and love shiny things. Embezzlement is my middle name.”
“Ah, I see,” James nodded along, totally oblivious to the fact that he was being had. “I’m good at making people do what I want. Some people call me a gang leader, but I think it’s more than that; I’m making an empire.”
“This guy needs to shut his fucking mouth,” Three groaned as he plucked a glass of champagne from a passing server’s tray.
“Harsh much,” Seven commented over comms.
Three scowled and shook his head, “Oh come on, you’re seriously telling me it doesn’t sound like he’s full of himself?”
“He sounds like a wanker.”
“Gracias, Cuatro,” Three said to Four before returning his full attention to Two, occasionally taking a drink of champagne.
Two smiled at James, agreeing with him as they spoke of their crimes. Then James threw Two a curveball. “So, did you come here alone?”
Two hesitated slightly, then swallowed thickly. “I did.”
“New plan!” One barked down the line over everyone’s radios. “Lead him to one of the rooms upstairs. They’re accessible from the roof, so me, Seven, and Four can get there if we need to.”
Two continued, new plan in mind, “Are you planning something for after this party, James?”
“Perhaps. Why, are you?”
“Maybe. Want to disappear upstairs for a while?”
A smile crawled over James’s face at the exact same time a frown fell across Three’s.
Two and James headed off up a set of stairs past the bustling dance floor of tipsy people and thumping bass music. There was a variety of colorful neon-lit rooms along this hall. Some had doors wide open, inviting people into the warmth of cigarettes and alcohol, with the sound of music beneath as background noise. Others had doors closed in a clear statement of ‘do not disturb’. James led Two to a room at the end of the hall. James didn’t notice the hooded blond-haired Brit leap across a building and out of sight, and Two pretended not to notice Four, especially when he swore at the fact he was almost seen. Seven had repositioned to a new sniper nest, this time pointing directly into the room. One was nowhere to be found, but he was the most ghostly of all the team members; not always seen, but his presence was definitely felt.
The room that Two found herself in with James was cramped, only a few meters wide in each direction, a large king-sized bed ruling most of the room. There was a circular mirror above the bed, red neon strip lights running along the skirting boards. Hanging plants sat beside the windows, which had only white mesh that offered very limited privacy as curtains.
“Is this more exciting than the business you were here for?” Two spoke with a shiver-inducing lull. Her voice was controlled yet powerful, beautiful, like the tides.
James grinned and began unbuttoning his shirt, “Damn right it is. I was meant to be arranging a buyer for my boss for some crates of stolen US military weapons going through Bucharest. This is way better.”
“And is your criteria for a buyer the same as your criteria for picking up girls?”
“My boss normally likes to meet his buyer after me, but I might have to keep you to myself...”
Two tried not to cringe at that. And downstairs in the bar, Three downed the rest of his drink and tried not to break the glass. He was powerless at the moment, but hearing everything going on... it was torture.
“What a shame. Maybe you could introduce me to your boss one day. That’d be cute.”
James strode up to Two smoothly, hands finding her hips, “Yeah? Maybe I’ll take you to Prague when I meet him in a few days, huh?”
“Maybe,” Two smiled and was totally unfazed when One, Three, and Four burst through the door.
“The fuck is this?” James scowled, utterly aghast.
One watched as Four pulled a rag over James’s head to gag him, followed by a black fabric back to cover his head. Three was on the zip ties, binding James’s hands together. One told James coldly, “Alright, Mr. Adams, my friend Four here is gonna take you outside so he and Seven can have a little talk with you. This talk will, of course, end with a lead pellet between your eyes straight through your skull.”
Four dragged James harshly by the wrists out of the room and to the fire escape that he and One entered the building through. There was a loud crash and hushed curses from Four, who hissed over comms to Seven, “Catch... catch... fuckin’ catch him Seven!”
“You pushed him down the fire escape? Are you insane?” Seven groaned irritably.
“Yeah, I pushed him on purpose. He fell. I’m not the one who didn’t catch him on the other end!”
“I’m gonna kill them both,” One stated monotonously, leaving behind Four, who was now locked in discussion with Five about how badly James’s body was now broken.
“See?” Two smiled a little, approaching Three, “Told you I wouldn’t fuck him.”
“I’m very happy about that,” Three grinned broadly, his arms secured around Two’s waist, holding her close to him.
“I’m just mad that I wore new lingerie under this dress and didn’t need to use it as my secret weapon,” Two shrugged.
“You’ve got new lingerie under there?”
“Want to find out?”
One’s voice crackled in over the radio, “Guys, radios still on.”
Two and Three switched their radios on, tossed them aside, and continued where they left off, not bothered, not afraid that the other would leave, not unhappy.