#three wishes

[biblicallyaccuratemoth]

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Webtoons, Tapas, Bluesky, Discord Server.

[juliangelart]

"I've been searching, all of my life,

Finally I've found my north star."

[bestboycaps]

[embarrassedanon]

The Third Wish: A Revealing Campus Tour

Despite his reputation for naked or nearly naked scrapes, Dale managed to snag a highly coveted position as a campus tour guide. The guy who ran the tour guide program, Assistant Dean of Admissions Matthew Ellis, was a real hard ass. He knew exactly what prospective students did and did not want to see and trained his guides relentlessly.

During one of their final training sessions, each trainee had to give a tour to Dean Ellis and the rest of the trainee class. Dale's mock tour was going flawlessly until it was time to tour the inside of a dorm. Dale fished in his pocket for the thick, hard plastic of his campus ID. He yanked the card out of his tight short pockets, and the card went flying to the foot of the door. Dale quickly bent over to retrieve the key.

As Dale bent down to get the card, he inadvertently flashed a three-inch-long plumber's crack to the Dean and his fellow trainees. The card landed face down, making it hard to pry it from the concrete. As he made his futile attempts to grab the card, he shook his cheeks side to side for the rapt audience.

With the key card finally in hand, Dale stood up and turned to face the Dean and his fellow guides, flashing a smile, trying to play off the misstep. He was met with the faces of a half dozen guys, all trying not to laugh. "You guys saw my crack, didn't you?"

"Hairier than I expected," Matthew said with a snicker. The group erupted into fits of laughter. Dale turned crimson. "We typically want our campus tours to show off the quad, not the glutes. I'm not sure this is going to work out. You can turn in your polo when we get back to the office."

I can't believe he said that. Didn't he know I was already embarrassed? Dale thought to himself. I wish he knew what it felt like to have his ass out on a campus tour.

A couple of weeks after Dale was let go from the tour guide program, the admissions office was frantically preparing for a VIP guest. Senator Winston Billings would be touring the university with his eighteen-year-old twins Conrad and Carter, hot off their gap year in Europe.

Landing the senator's boys would be a huge boon for the university and surely put Matthew in line for a promotion. This tour had to be perfect. Too bad a genie was ensuring that it wouldn't be. 

The morning of the tour, Matthew knew he needed to dress to impress. His usual khakis and polo, while flattering on his lithe frame, wouldn't cut it for the senator. Instead, he wore a charcoal gray suit with something extra special underneath. A secret to everyone in his life, Dean Ellis was a fan of thongs. He loved how they cradled his package tight and didn't leave any embarrassing brief lines on his tight slacks. His preferred cut of underwear by far, he never let another guy see him in his thong, or even know about his collection.

On a day like today, when his appearance really mattered, the decision to wear a thong or the full coverage briefs he wore to the gym or doctor's appointments was a no-brainer. 

Still quite a serious man, most of his thongs were black, navy, nude, or, if he was feeling really frisky, maroon. Of course, the market for men's thongs was so limited that sometimes in a pinch he'd have to spring for a crazy color or pattern. 

When he opened his underwear drawer, he was surprised to see just one clean thong remaining. He could have sworn he'd done laundry just the day before. Weird. He wasn't thrilled by the prospects of wearing a leopard print thong on one of the most important days of his professional career. But what was the alternative? 

The senator and his sons would be walking behind him; if they spent the entire tour distracted by his unsightly brief lines, there's no way they'd consider applying. If he went commando and ended up showing off more than he intended through his thin slacks that wouldn’t work either. This thong would have to do. It's not like anyone would see it. 

When Matthew arrived at the office, the Senator and his sons were already waiting—shit, Matthew thought, not the first impression he wanted to make.

"Senator Billings, it's such a pleasure to welcome you to Astor University." As Dean Ellis shook the Senator's hand, he was appalled to feel how sweaty his palm felt in the Senator's grip. Clearly, he wasn't imagining the perspiration, the Senator's plastered-on smile faltered as he wiped his hand on his pant leg. 

The Dean shifted his focus to the twins, "Back from Europe and ready to start school! I hope you guys made it to some museums, didn't spend the whole year sunbathing on a catamaran." Matthew couldn't believe the words that had just come out of his mouth. 

Paparazzi photos of the twins sunbathing naked on a boat had been leaked to the press last summer, leading to the Senator taking a hard line stand on privacy. He came under fire for his newfound privacy advocacy from the surveillance technologists who funded his last two campaigns. The story had been everywhere and almost cost Billings reelection. 

The three Billings men stared at Matthew dumbfounded. "Only kidding," Matthew said, laughing far louder than he meant to. Get it together, Ellis, he screamed internally. 

"Let's get started, shall we?" 

"You might want to pull up your fly first," Conrad said, elbowing his twin brother. Both of them buried their smirks in their palms. 

This cannot be happening, Matthew thought to himself. He gave a half-hearted smile to the twins, although his eyes betrayed his panic. He turned, re-zipped, and lead the men out of the office. 

This tour was a career worst for Matthew. He found himself constantly tongue-tied, his mouth vacillated between being bone dry and overflowing with saliva, and he was constantly stumbling over thin air. And the sweating. My God, the sweating. It would be a miracle if the twins so much as took a brochure home, let alone applied. 

As they neared the end of the tour, the Senator's security detail rejoined them for their stroll across the campus green. The twins' visit had been the talk of the campus for weeks, and campus personnel had strategically cleared the tour's hotspots, but this would be the one stretch in a crowded place where students would jockey to see American royalty.

Dale, our embarrassed diamond in the rough, found himself hanging out on the lawn this afternoon, as did so many young men on campus. It was unseasonably warm, and a whole slew of classes had been canceled following a wifi outage in most academic buildings. The genie pulled out all the stops in terns of positively packing the quad.

Matthew gave the Senator and his sons a brief spiel on the history of the green, highlighting the protests that took place in 60s that the administration now celebrated. Of course, he didn't mention the more recent protests that the university condemned, but would surely become light-hearted fodder for tour guides in years to come.

As his tidbits wound to an end, the lower third of his suit jacket and the seat of his trousers vanished without a trace. The leopard print thong, his secret shame, was now completely visible from behind. 

"Alright, enough about the green, let's take a look, and then we'll finish at the steps of the old library." Matthew pivoted on his heel to lead the way to the green, exposing his bisected butt cheeks to the Billings men and their security for the very first time. 

Stunned, they all had no idea how to react. The twins were on the verge of bursting into hysterics when their father flashed them a look that said, "Absolutely not." 

Did Senator Billings blame his sons for wanting to laugh? Of course not, he was a young man once and remembers how funny it was to happen upon another man with his buttocks exposed. He'd never admit it on the record, but the Senator was quite the mooner in his day. 

The Senator himself felt tempted to laugh. Exposing one's buttocks to another man or catching a buddy with his rear end exposed and embarrassing him were tried and true staples of masculine humor. But an unsuspecting guy unaware of his exposed behind, presented a whole new level of hilarity. 

As funny as it was, if the Senator or his sons were caught laughing at this fruit and his unconventional fashion choice, it could be easily misconstrued and turn into a PR nightmare. No matter how much he wanted to, the Senator had to hold in his laugh. 

As they continued along the green, the Senator and his boys had to try even harder not to laugh as they saw the way Matthew's cheeks bounced and swayed with each footfall. Even the stoic security guards wore the most minuscule smirks, their aviator-covered eyes affixed to Matthew's bouncing cheeks. 

Guys hanging out on the lawn quickly took notice of the Senator and his sons, flanked by their hulking security team. Phones were whipped out in quick succession to capture the statesman and his tabloid fodder kin. Only upon closer inspection of their snaps did students notice the man leading this horde and his unfortunate wardrobe malfunction. 

Seeing the commotion, Dale lowered his sunglasses to get a better look. Lounging by himself, Dale startled as the twink genie materialized right next to him on the lawn. 

"That's your handiwork?" Dale asked, amusedly. 

"Bingo!" 

"Oh, you're bad!" 

Matthew was still unaware of his exposure thanks to a little extra genie magic he was oblivious to the sudden draft. He was starting to pick up on the freneticism of the lawn. The green was buzzing with excitement. Matthew had never seen it so crowded. Why wasn't anyone in class? Where were all the co-eds? And why was everyone taking pictures of the tour group? 

It was bad enough that these VIPs had to suffer through such an terrible tour, and now they were being photographed by hundreds of students' leering cameras. Matthew thought this was his chance to save the tour. 

At the center of the green, Matthew stepped up on the base of the university's marquee fountain. "Gentleman, " he began, addressing the crowd of photo-eager students that had slowly been inching their way closer to the tour group, so much so that they now surrounded them. 

"This is not the Astor University way," Matthew began, shocked by how much his voice projected and how, like magic, the crowd grew quiet. "I know it's the first nice day of the spring and you're all excited that the Senator and his sons are on campus," Matthew continued. "If Carter and Conrad Billings are to enroll here, they need to feel comfortable. They need to feel like this is a place where their privacy and dignity are respected on this campus. They need to know that on our campus, they're free to be themselves and let it all hang out. They need to trust that they're not at risk of being exposed by their classmates. Today is about these two young men getting to the bottom of whether or not they want to attend this illustrious institution, and they can't do that with you all making such asses of yourselves." 

For the first time all day, Matthew finally felt like he was in control again; he proved to the Senator and to Carter and Conrad that maybe they ought to apply after all. Maybe he'd be able to stick the landing of this tour. 

"Nice ass Dean Ellis!" a voice shouted from the crowd. 

That was all it took to shatter any illusion Matthew had of salvaging this day. The crowd erupted in laughter. Senator Billings and his sons finally gave in and started laughing hysterically. Even the security agents couldn't help but join in. Dale stood at the middle of the crowd smiling ear to ear. 

With the roar of laughter came a rush of cool air up the seat of Matthew's pants. He suddenly felt the draft on his exposed cheeks, his hands flew to his rear and were met with bare skin, not fabric as he had hoped. He had been walking around campus for God knows how long with his butt totally exposed. 

This is a nightmare! This is not happening! Oh my God, this is not happening! Panic had set in, and tears were flooding the corner of Matthew's eyes. I have to get out of here. 

In one final act of comeuppance, the genie destabilized Matthew's legs once more and sent him toppling into the fountain. Sopping wet and with his ass still exposed, he climbed out of the fountain and ran across the green back to his car, shoes squelching with water and hands covering his ass from prying eyes. 

There's always next year at another university. Maybe he'll think twice about embarrassing tour guides.

[sailorsplatoon]

Graduated today!! I decorated my cap with a Splatoon theme!

The quote is from Three Wishes! The points on the stars represent Captain 3, Agent 4, Agent 8, Neo 3, and the Mechanic!! Custom Dedfour pin is from sevvyverse on Etsy!

[adiodont]

my hearts synced up, a satellite...

[klinefelterrible]

A king warlock talking to genie: SO IS THIS CORRECT, EACH OF US GETS THREE WISHES?

Genie: yeah sort of

King warlock: I want to see every rival empire being torn down to shreds, with me as a conqueror

King warlock: I then want to start my own bloodline with the prettiest girls from all over the world, making beautiful babies that will rule the world forever

Genie: *yawns* okay

Genie: one more and then it’s his turn

King warlock: I think I want to keep one for later so he there are no surprises

Genie: okay whatever

Genie: tell me your wishes, Jim

Jim, a typical random guy that finds himself in oddly specific situations by sheer accident only: okay so after that guy starts an empire I want to be there and fuck the beautiful girl first so I have a chance to be reborn through that act

King warlock: I WANT TO SPEND MY THIRD WISH

Genie: okay

Genie: what is it

King warlock: I want to live long enought to gather all the forced to see Jim dead and then—

Genie: that sort of looks like two in one

Genie: make up your mind

King warlock: I don’t want my bloodline purity to be affected by Jim’s wishes

Genie: fine

Genie: now fuck off

Jim: before that guy’s wishes come true I want him to transform into ten gorgeous whores and each owes me ten thousand blowjobs and they can’t change back before they are all done to me or someone from my bloodline… or a friend

Genie: sa basically you are trapping him in ten different whores’ bodies so you and your buddies can have fun?

Jim: yeah

Genie: I like that

Genie: it shows creativity

Genie: not only fucking empires and legacies

Genie: it’s done

Genie: what else

Jim: so anyway after my hundred thousand of blowjobs come true I want him to stay in a body of one of the whores so, you know

Genie: you want him to stay in the gorgeous whore’s body forever?

Jim: yeah

Jim: eventually

Jim: I don’t like his ideas and this will not change his future bloodline

Jim: he will just have to give birth to all of his sons

Genie: oh

Genie: so that was three wishes I think

Genie: I am adding a little extra

Jim: which is

Genie: I have a sixpack of beers

Jim: I know what you’re doing

Jim: you want to get a free blowie as my homie

Jim: okay so let’s call my girls

King warlock: why am I here again

Jim: check this out

Genie: snaps his fingers

Whores: hello

Jim: so me and my friend here are having a little party

Jim: maybe you’d like to dance for us

Whores: there’s no music

Jim: so, uh—

Genie: okay I have one more wish for you

Jim: is there a fineprint

Genie: uhm

Jim: come on, man

Genie: I get two blowies but one from you

Jim: sounds fair enough

Genie: okay so one more wish for you now

Jim: yeah I want the whores to do whatever I want, not only blowjobs

Jim: weird I didn’t come up with this earlier

Genie: it’s done

Genie: *flips his dick*

Jim: girls, go get me a boombox and some dance hits from 2000’s and while you’re busy with that, I will get busy with this

Genie: nice one

Jim: I never did that before

Jim: *sucks Genie off like a pro*

Genie: WHOA

Genie: that was

Genie: how did you learn that

Jim: I was in Boy Scouts

Genie: and?

Jim: I sprained my ankle on second day and I had to figure out a way to not raise any suspicions about my not doing my chores

Genie: nice

Jim: turns out there’s nothing more that people crave

Jim: than a blowjob

Genie: is this why you got yourself a regiment of sex slaves?

Jim: what

Jim: no

Jim: I wanted that guy to learn that lesson too

Genie: what lesson

Jim: that in order to get what you want you have to be ready to suck a dick

Genie: smart

Genie: anyway the girls are back

Jim: oh great

Jim: I’m in a mood for some Pussycat Dolls

Genie: or ABBA maybe

Jim: oh I didn’t think about ABBA!

Jim: how about two of you go and get some ABBA’s best hits too

Whores: okay

Jim: can you make them all rich so I don’t have to pay for their stuff?

Genie: already covered that

Jim: cool

Jim: what ab—

Genie: they will not shit themselves either

Jim: oof

Jim: how did you know

Genie: you’re a simple person

Jim: yeah I am

Whores: *start dancing*

Genie: *gets his dick sucked by one of them*

Jim: *gets his dick sucked by another two at once*

Jim: yeah…

Jim: yes I am

[the-gershomite]

"Don't worry about it...two more wishes at this point would seem like overkill."

comic by Dean Yeagle