Steve the Temp is seated at a FIRE PIT. Could this signal the Thumberslam return of the long-banned "Thumbs in Hell" match? We've not seen one since the "All Along the Thumb Tower" PPV in 2002 where we sadly lost one of the original Digit Dynamos, Tom Thumb, in a pyrotechnics malfunction. Boy, Baron Von Satan really throws caution to the wind when it comes to Steve the Temp or anyone else he feels he "owns."
Meanwhile, the gloved hand of his opponent looks oddly familiar...THUMBERSLAM IS THIS WEEK! ALL WILL BE REVEALED!
The NDWA's inaugural PPV is in the books. WE HAVE NEW CHAMPIONS. Today, without revealing any match outcomes or surprises (and boy oh boy were there PLENTY), your faithful NDWA INSIDER will reveal the card for THUMBERSLAM 2019: COOKOUT CHAOS.
The matches kick off with a brand new Digit Dynamo getting the curtain-jerking honors as THE REAL HOUSEWIFE OF SLAUGHTER BEACH, DELAWARE makes her debut in a regular match against STEVE THE TEMP. The winner of this match faces Tad Bagler later for the Hardcore title.
Next, a messy feud that's been boiling for weeks finally gets settled as the newly initiated t.W.o. member MAD COW squares up against HOTT MOTT. It's almost too sexy to stay PG-13.
In the third match, the smarter version of The ARISTOCATASTROPHE faces an ARMY OF DR. ZED VECTOR'S SKELETRONS. The skeletron menace has begun to genuinely frighten this humble reporter and I hope the likes of The Aristocatastrophe and other Dynamos can save the league from their evil metal clutches.
Rolling into our first title match, TAD BAGLER is set to attempt to become the NDWA'S first hardcore champion as he locks up with the winner of the day's first match. This one promises to get ugly in a way that makes me glad Bagler wears a mask.
Welcoming two more all new Dynamos to the league, the fifth match pits the THUMB BONE MCHURTLOCKER (son of Beefsteak) against ULTIMA FANDANGO. I hope we see a lot more from these two promising up-and-comers in the future.
In the pay-per-view's penultimate match, Thumbelina attempts to exact revenge on Louis the Lush and the entire t.W.o. for her kidnapping and the general terrorizing of the league...INSIDE A STEEL CAGE. Please put your kids to bed before this one, folks.
THE MAIN EVENT
In the culmination of a feud that's been building since the very first episode of Thursday night Thumbderdome, the MAYDAY MARAUDER brings things full circle in an epic struggle against the legendary brawler BEEFSTEAK MCHURTLOCKER. One of these two giants of the league walks away with the NDWA strap but let me just tell you that isn't even the biggest surprise of the match. You'll have to tune in to find out exactly what I mean, but this main event has everything.
Will Dr. Vector make an uninvited appearance? Who faces Tad for the hardcore title? How will Ric Fiero make his presence felt after appearing, much to the chagrin of the t.W.o., very unexpectedly on the most recent Thursday Night Thumbderdome? WHAT ARE THE DYNAMOS EATING AT THIS COOKOUT? There are answers to all of these questions and more, Insiders. Be sure to subscribe to the National Digit Wrestling Association on Patreon so that you don't miss a minute of pay-per-view action and keep an eye on this blog for updates as things develop. Until next time...
Keith Fabian
NDWA INSIDER
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